Next chapter of Starting Over a.k.a. my obsession! Without it I wouldn't get through school. Hope you enjoy and as always, review, review, review so I know if it's going in a good direction.

Derek's Trailer

8:00 pm.

Derek had been home since 7 preparing for the barbeque. He fired up the grill, prepared the food, and began to cook so that it would be perfect for Addison's arrival. As he sat, beer in hand and Doc at his feet, Derek patted himself on the back. Everything was on the right track for the first time in a long time. He silently prayed it would remain this way. When he saw headlights approaching, he knew they would. Doc perked up at the lights, checking out their visitor. As Addison shut off her ignition and stepped out, Derek barely had time to release Doc's leash before he was at her feet, tail wagging. He hadn't seen him that happy in a while. It must be some owner/dog mental bond.

"Told you he missed you." Derek shouted, not moving from his chair.

"Apparently you weren't exaggerating." Addison shouted back, her focus very much on the dog in front of her. She knelt down to get closer to him, and he brought his nose to hers. She giggled like a child, her smile as wide as possible. Derek simply observed her with him and waited for his turn. After a couple more good belly rubs, Addison ceased her petting and walked towards Derek.

"Do I finally get a hello?"

"What can I say? He's cuter." Addison bent down to kiss Derek on the cheek before going inside to grab a drink. Unbeknownst to Addison, that kiss had sent chills up and down Derek's spine. Unbeknownst to Derek, it had done the same thing to Addison, hers much more unexpected. Derek had admitted his renewed feelings for Addison, at least to himself. Addison, on the other hand, was in a steady stage of denial, mostly out of fear of being hurt again. Being that close to him, though, was more to handle than she expected. He smelled the same. She always adored his after shave.

"Cuter? Really?" Derek said, looking at Doc inquisitively.

"Oh, it's not even close." Addison shut the screen and went to sit next to Derek. "I mean look at the face." As if Doc knew Addison was talking about him, he moved to place his head on her lap. "See? Such a good boy! How he could have ever ripped up your pillows is beyond me. He's too good for that."

"Yea, well my credit card receipt would disagree."

"Why didn't you use my old ones?"

"I'm used to four. I haven't slept with just two since before we started living together."

"Really?" Addison seemed surprised at Derek's announcement.

"Yep. It felt wrong, so I bought new ones. The salesperson was extremely helpful, and I think at the end he was hitting on me." Addison nearly spit out her beer from laughing so hard.

"Oh my god! That is amazing."

"Glad you think so."

"I'm sorry, but Derek, put what you just said into a perspective that is not your own and tell me that it's not hilarious." Derek thought for a moment, and threw Addison his classic smile to convey his agreement.

"The food smells great by the way. What are we having?"

"Trout." Addison's face dropped. "Or steak. I forget now."

"Derek Shepherd, I would actually kill you. After last time, even you had to have learned."

"I did. The two steaks should be ready in about ten minutes."

"Good."

"Good." Derek and Addison both faced forward, sipping their beers and looking out on the land in front of them.

"I forgot how pretty it was." Addison said after a long sigh, her eyes transfixed on the trees.

"I didn't." Addison smiled quickly at him and threw her attention back at the woods. Derek's however, remained fixed on the object of his words: Addison.

Derek's Trailer

10:00 pm.

"Derek, I must say, that was delicious." Addison said, gently touching her stomach. "Where did you learn to cook like that?"

"Excuse me? I have always been the good cook. You're the one that burns toast."

"Whatever. I make up for it in other areas. And you knew that I couldn't cook from the start. It was your risk to marry me."

"Oh you mean that time you almost burned down my kitchen when you left the toast in and it smoked? It's a hard memory to forget. Want to know why?"

"Smoke inhalation?"

"It was the first time I knew I was in love with you." Addison stopped playing with her napkin and met his gaze. "You were trying to surprise me by making me breakfast. I had felt you get up. I watched you get dressed and go to the kitchen and turn on the toaster. I must have dozed off again because all I remember next is jumping up at the smell of smoke. I ran to throw on something and see what had happened. And then I saw you, jumping up to try and shut off the alarm. Your hair was visible through all the smoke, and I had never seen you look so flustered. I reached up and turned it off and took you into my arms because you looked like you were going to cry. You didn't. You started hysterically laughing instead. You apologized, and wrapped your arms around my waist. And I knew that I loved you." Derek sighed at the memory, grabbing the plates as he stood up.

"How do you remember all that?" Addison was visibly touched by the memory, thinking of it fondly. She was almost more touched that he could remember it so well. She certainly did.

"I don't know. Whenever I make toast, I think of that day. I guess that's why." Derek pushed off the table and headed inside. Addison watched him go. After every thing that happened, she had wrongly assumed he had just forgotten to care. That for some reason their love wasn't enough to hold his interest anymore. Memories like that that he freely shared with her changed her opinion.

"Alright, you ready for part two of our evening?"

"Part two?"

"You knew there had to be a reason I insisted on having you come all the way out here. There is some place special I want to take you." Derek extended his hand towards Addison, who was still sitting on the picnic bench.

"Okay." She took his hand and they walked away from the trailer, Doc in tow. After about a half a mile, they reached a clearing that overlooked a forest below. You could see uninhibited for miles.

"Derek, it's breathtaking." She released her hand from his and touched her chest, walking forwards to get a better view.

"I knew you'd like it."

"How did you find it?"

"On one of my walks with Doc. We were scoping out the land and ended up here."

"It's absolutely stunning."

"Come here." Derek motioned towards himself, laying the blanket flat on the grassy field. He laid down first and waited. Addison made her way over and sat next to him. "Good. Now lie back and look up." Addison did as she was told, remaining propped up on her elbows, and looked up. The sky, like the view, once again took her breath away.

"You can see literally every star in the sky." Addison said, awed.

"Newspaper said it was supposed to be one of the clearest nights of the year tonight. Figured it would be a good time to bring you out here."

"You were right. I love it. Thank you Derek."

"Your welcome. And I know you don't like being to close to nature, but you can actually lie down. It's a very soft blanket." Derek said, rubbing his hand across it.

"Maybe I'm comfortable like this. But, this was all your idea, so if you insist…." Addison began to lie back, only to shoot back up seconds after. "Ow!" Derek shot up with concern.

"What happened?"

"I hit a freaking rock. This is why I don't do nature."

"Only you." He said shaking his head, and getting a slap from Addison, who was nursing her head with the other hand. "Let me move it for you."

"Why thank you." Derek moved the blanket back, and went to grab the rock. He was surprised at the resistance. Looking closer, he saw the rock was embedded in the ground. "Uh, it's stuck."

"So why don't we move the blanket like four feet that way?"

"Or, you could just lay on me."

"Derek…"

"What? You always used to do it."

"That was different."

"Why?" To be honest, Addison couldn't come up with one good reason. Even when they were just friends and would study together, she would plop her head on his lap as they shared a medical textbook. Granted they always had that connection couples feel from the start, but nonetheless, friends are friends. Now should be no different.

"Be glad I have a massive headache or I would actually force you to move."

"I know." Derek said with a smile, laying down first. Addison followed, laying her head was on his chest. She could feel him breathe in and out softly. It was soothing. The smell of her hair traveled to his nose. He had missed being close to her so much it hurt. And now that he was getting close, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms. But for now, he knew he couldn't.

"Where's Doc?"

"Over there."

"He shouldn't be alone." Addison propped herself up for a second to get his attention. "Come here boy!" Addison motioned to herself, and Doc readily acknowledged her. As she lay on Derek's stomach, Doc's head laid on hers.

"No wonder he missed you so much."

"Yeah well. I spoiled him."

Both Addison and Derek laid in silence, each lost in the stars above. Without realizing, Derek had begun to run his fingers through her hair like he always used to. Addison didn't say anything, one, because it felt so good, and two, she had missed little things like this that they used to do together. There was no more awkwardness. They were finally able to enjoy each others company, free of concern about other interests. Addison shut her eyes momentarily, basking in the feel of Derek's hands. Without warning, Doc shot up and ran in circles.

"Whoa, boy. What's wrong?" Addison asked as both she and Derek rose from the blanket.

"He can sense it." Derek felt a drop hit his head, and knew what was coming.

"Sense what?" Before Derek could answer, a strong crack of thunder broke through the silence of their location.

"That! We better get back before it starts to…" Before Derek could get the words out, the skies opened upon them. Putting the blanket over their heads both started running towards the trailer. After about two minutes, they had made it back.

"Well, that was fun." Addison said, running her hands through her damp hair. "Nice way to end the evening."

"Let me get you a towel." Derek moved towards the bathroom to grab a towel.

"Thanks."

"Here you go. Are you really soaked? Would you like a sweatshirt or something?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you though. I could go for some coffee though."

"Coming right up." Derek moved towards the kitchen to put up the coffee. Once it was set, he went towards his bedroom. "I'm going to change. You sort of hogged the blanket out there."

"Hey Mr. Wilderness man, this should be like your happy place. Rain is part of nature. Plus this sweater was not cheap and rain isn't exactly great for it."

"You're such a girl, you know that?"

"Whatever." Rolling her eyes, she grabbed a seat at his kitchen table. Derek went to his dresser to grab a new shirt, throwing the old one on the floor at his feet. Addison peered around to see him: she had forgotten how good he looked without a shirt on. He had a very muscular upper body, which she always found attractive. Derek could feel her eyes on him, and turned around to face her once he was dressed again.

"You're such a guy. You can not leave a soaking wet shirt on the floor in a ball or it will never dry. Did I teach you nothing?" Addison went to grab his shirt and lay it out to dry; mostly she was just happy to have avoided the conversation of her staring. After hanging it up, she retook her seat at the table as Derek prepared her coffee.

"Milk, two sugars."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Smiling, Derek grabbed the other chair and sat down. Taking the towel from behind him, he dried his hair as best as possible. Addison sipped her coffee and watched him. Spending time just the two of them, each of them single again, changed her view of their relationship. No longer was there something clearly blocking them from attempting a relationship again. No more Meredith, no more Andy, and no more discussion of Mark. It was just them. Lost in thought, she didn't realize Derek's hand waving to get her attention.

"Addison?"

"What?"

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. Just a little lost in thought I guess."

"I know that smile. What were you so lost in thought about?"

"What do you mean you know my smile?"

"Depending on what, or who, you are thinking about, you have different smiles."

"Do I? Alright then, what do you think I was thinking about?" Addison questioned.

"Me." Derek replied.

"You?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. After fifteen years, I know your assortment of facial expressions like they were my own. You get a certain look in your eyes. Its hard to describe, but if you can see it, you'll know it. Your brother first pointed it out to me when I got the "protective big brother speech". He said you had a special twinkle, I think was the word he used, when you talked about me. That was the first time I noticed it." Derek made firm eye contact with Addison. It wasn't a serious topic of discussion, but he wanted to make sure she knew how much it meant to him when her brother first advised him of "the look".

"How come you never pointed this out to me before?"

"Probably because I didn't want you to stop looking at me in such an honorable way." Derek quickly regretted those words, seeing their selfishness and irony. It was never her who stopped seeing, it was him. The one thing he feared most for himself he did to her. He never meant to, but he did.

"I never did." Derek looked up, sort of shocked. "Derek, after everything we have been through together, for us to come out like this is impressive. We are both stubborn and difficult and crazy, but it works for us. Granted, when you were pining for Meredith, I didn't want to see you in that way, but I still did. I still did because I still loved you, and I knew the kind of person you could be. I'll never know why you stopped noticing me, but the reason why I went to such drastic lengths to get your attention back was because of how I felt."

"Addison, you need to know something. Every day I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back and figure out the exact moment where my work became more important than my wife. I don't know why it happened, but it did. That doesn't make up for it, I know, but I needed you to know that."

"I know. And I do." Addison could see the pain Derek felt, how much he truly wanted her to believe him. She did, but it was still hard to think that she ever fell below the pedestal he clearly had her own since day one.

"Really?"

"Yes. Derek, look at me." Addison knew how Derek felt. Guilt was a strong emotion, sometimes stronger than one person alone could handle. She had had to go through her guilt alone, and wasn't going to let him do the same. Time alone had shown her than she needed to be the bigger person. "I'm serious. Look at me. We both made mistakes. We are moving past them, together."

Addison moved to where he was now standing by the sink and took his hands in hers. There bodies were close, nearly touching. Derek relished the feel of her hands touching his. Any contact with her made his heart jump. Now more than ever, Derek knew he was in love with Addison. She was his soul mate. She knew him better than anyone else. Being around her made him a better person. She always knew what to say, what to do to make things right.

As they stood close, both still wet from the rain, Derek couldn't turn off his feelings anymore. Meeting her eyes with his own, and seeing her smile, he knew it was right. As he moved his hand up her arm to her face, they could both feel what was coming. Addison didn't pull away, or even flinch at his touch. She sunk into it, closing her eyes and remembering the feeling of his hands all over her. It had been so long since they had been, and she wanted them to be so badly. The tension was palpable. Before more could happen, a loud thunder bolt cracked through the sky, and without warning, shut off the power to the trailer.

"Well that was anti-climactic." Derek broke the silence brought on by the darkness. Addison had jumped slightly at the noise and the moment was gone.

"I guess it was. Do you have a flashlight? It's eerie out here with no lights."

"Hold on. It's in one of these drawers and now I really wish I knew which one for sure." Derek began maneuvering through each one to find it.

"At least it's a very small space." Addison couldn't help but take a stab at the trailer she adored so.

"I was waiting for that one. Oh, I got it. There we go." Turning it on, he shined it right in Addison's eyes.

"Easy there! What time is it?"

"11."

"I better get going."

"Early surgery?" Addison didn't actually have a surgery, but needed a reason to leave. She needed time to process the nights events before anything happened, because once it did, there was no turning back. Derek was like her kryptonite: too close without warning and she had no hope. His hold over emotions was too strong. So she lied.

"Yes." She could see the change in Derek's face, clearly sad she couldn't stay. She smiled internally; glad he was back in her court. She had power, at least for now. She walked towards the door to grab her coat. He followed, helping her.

"Drive safe."

"I will. Goodnight." Addison leaned in to kiss Derek on the cheek, partially as a thank you, partially to make him crazy. It did, and Derek cursed the thunder for ruining his moment. He watched her car pull out, and watched until the lights were gone. But the night wasn't a total bust. They came close, really close. And she wanted it too. He could feel it. When she kissed him goodnight, it was definitely for a reason. He knew she thought she had power.

That was the great dichotomy of their relationship. They went back and forth with each other, vying for strength. She usually won, being Addison, but Derek knew her weaknesses. If he wanted to win her back, he was going to turn on the charm. The past was the past. His plan had worked: they were back. He had her heart. She had his. It was time for a new chapter in their lives. Tomorrow would rock her world, for sure.

Done! This chapter only took me so long because I played around a lot with how I wanted the night to end. I wanted them to resolve the past for now, and get it ready for Addek loving in the next chapter! I need to throw them a bone and let them be happy. They still have issues, they always will. Next chapter will be a breather, with lighter dialogue. It's in my head so get ready! Review if you're kind to me and please tell me where YOU think it should go because I want to please all. It's a goal of mine in life!