I'm in a one word sentence mood—I think all the rain has made me too tired for more! Updated! Enjoy! Review!
Mark didn't get three feet into the E.R. before seeing Derek standing with Richard. All he wanted was to check on Addison and stay out of the way. He heard the truth behind Meredith's words. As much as he didn't want to believe it, he had to face the fact that Addison was in love with Derek.
Before Mark could even turn and leave the room, Derek had started towards him, fury in his eyes. It had been awhile since had seen his former friend so distraught and pissed off. He was walking slowly, almost like his legs couldn't support him. Derek didn't care that everyone's eyes were on him; Mark needed to pay.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Derek shouted across the E.R.
"I came to see how Addison was."
"You're not going near her ever again." Derek motioned towards her room as he addressed him. Mark was ready to ask for forgiveness and apologize profusely for his lack of judgment, but he was not about to let Derek belittle him, especially in front of a room full of people.
"Excuse me; I didn't realize you were her keeper."
"Shut up Mark. You know what I meant. You can do nothing but hurt her now and I love her too much to let you." Derek spat back.
"You love her now because it's convenient for you. Don't pull this heroic crap with me; you hurt more than I ever could."
"What did you just say?" Derek inched closer. Smoke was practically blowing out his ears he was so upset. Preston, who was treating a patient in an adjacent exam room, moved to separate the two men. Richard extended an arm to stop him. Whatever was between these two needed to come out. Granted the setting could be better, but Addison didn't need stress from these two during her recovery.
"You heard me. This, what happened tonight, was an accident, one which I am very sorry for. But what you have done to her doesn't even compare…" Before Mark could finish his sentence, Derek's fist collided with his jaw.
"You bastard! How can you even say that? Addison is lying in a hospital bed, under sedation because of the pain you inflicted on her, and you want to put this on me?"
"I thought the new Derek didn't hit people. Trouble in paradise?" Mark's smart ass remark sent Derek over the edge.
Without warning, Derek charged at Mark like a linebacker, sending both men flying backwards. Nurses' yelps could be heard as they vacated the room. Derek drew back his hand again to punch Mark, connecting solidly with his upper cheek. As he went again, Derek could feel arms across his body. Preston, the Chief, O'Malley, and Karev had all moved in to separate the two on the Chief's orders. Preston had to practically put Derek in a full nelson before he would stop attempting to lunge at Mark.
Karev and O'Malley guarded Mark from moving as the Chief stood between them, everyone in the E.R. watching.
"Alright people, the show is over. Back to work. We have patients to treat." Slowly, everyone got back to their patients, the hot gossip being the fight that just took place. Derek had stopped fidgeting and shaked off Preston's hold.
"Karev, please escort Dr. Sloan back to his exam room. Looks like he will need some more stitches on his face." The Chief spoke, trying to hold back a smile at that beating that Derek had given him. Karev led Mark away, who still wore a sadistic grin on his bleeding face. Derek watched him go, anger burning within him.
"Well, I hope that helped." The chief said, turning his attention back to Derek.
"He deserved a lot more than that."
"I don't doubt that, but I don't need you breaking you're two million dollar a year hands on that ass's face. I only let you get out that much because I like you. Now, I need you to keep your distance. Do you understand?"
"Yes." Derek responded, clearly unenthused. "But I swear to God you better keep him away from her or I will. He doesn't even deserve to look at her anymore." Derek spoke emphatically before walking away, leaving Preston and the Chief behind.
"How's Addison doing?" Burke asked the Chief.
"Surprisingly, she's not the one I'm worried about." Richard patted Burke on the arm as he moved towards the nurses' station. He nodded back, straining his neck to watch Derek meander down the hallway, head hanging.
Seattle Grace
2:30 a.m.
Derek stood at the window outside the I.C.U., watching the residual rain fall and impatiently pacing as Addison's doctors examined her. He wanted to be in there more than anything, but Richard made it clear that he had to keep his distance. For now, he could be nothing more than her boyfriend/husband. So, Derek took residence at the window to pass the time. The drops almost looked like tears against the window. Sparks were flying from fallen power lines. It was one hell of a storm.
Derek's attention at the window was broken by the distinct sound of the I.C.U. sliding doors. He quickly made his way over to her team, including Bailey, his second in command in his department, Dr. West, and Dr. Torres from Ortho.
"How is she?" Derek asked cautiously, almost more afraid to know the answer.
"Her scans look good. She's responding well to verbal questions, but she suffered a concussion after the accident so I want to keep a close eye on her the next 24 hours."
Derek hardly reacted. He wanted to hear all the news first. "Dr. Torres?"
"Because the car crashed into the drivers' side, Addison was hit with more direct impact. Nothing's broken, but her shoulder and hip are considerably bruised. It should heal on its own, and we are medicating for pain. If anything, her shoulder will be in a sling for a while." Derek once again remained stoic. "This is good Dr. Shepherd. It could have been worse."
"I know." Derek smiled weakly and turned away from the group. He looked through the big glass window at Addison asleep. Wires and machines were everywhere. It was nothing new to him; he was a doctor. But seeing them attached to her, it all looked so foreign, so wrong.
Dr. Bailey motioned that she was going to hang back and for the others to go ahead. They walked away silently as Bailey cautiously approached Derek. She didn't speak, just took a spot next to him on the wall and watched her.
"She looks peaceful." Derek broke the silence, but hung his head immediately after. Tears were clearly welling in his eyes, and he didn't want it to show. He had to be strong. "I don't get it." Derek spoke, face to the ground.
"Get what?"
"Why did this happen? Why now? I mean…things were amazing."
"I know." Miranda answered quietly.
"No, I don't think you do. I have never been this happy before. Even last time when we were good, we were never this good. Maybe we weren't mature enough then. Maybe we didn't know each other well enough to be able to have a lasting relationship. But now… it's like we were given a second chance. Miranda…." Derek's voice cracked slightly, the emotion of his words prevailing through. "I can't lose her. I can't survive without her." Bailey was slightly taken aback: not only did he use her first name, but the sincerity in his voice was obvious. He literally wouldn't survive without her.
"You won't have to. Addison's a fighter. You know that. You've seen it. She's too stubborn to let a car accident, especially one with Mark, take her from you." Derek smiled slightly. Addison was too strong for something like this to be her end.
"Maybe I'm being selfish here, but I just don't want things to change between us."
"They won't have to, as long as you are there for her. She's still Addison, and trust me; she's as in love with you as you are with her." Miranda moved around him to check on her vitals. "Come on. She's awake." Derek watched her eyes open slowly. She looked weak, and rightly so.
Weaving through the beds, Derek made his way to Addison as soon as he could. Trying to be calm, he took a couple of breaths before entering her line of sight. He wanted Miranda to calm her first.
"Addison, how are you doing?"
"No worse for the wearer. My shoulder feels like it got ripped out of its socket though."
"Dr. Torres said that what the worst of it. We have you on morphine to help."
"Morphine? Really? Sounds good to me." Addison offered up a weak smile at her joke. Derek saw his in, and took it.
"Don't believe her. She can handle the pain just fine." Derek stepped up to her bedside, taking her hand in his.
"Funny. You're a funny guy. I don't tell you that enough." Addison replied back. Miranda laughed slightly before excusing herself.
"I'll leave you two alone. Addie, tell the nurse if you need me."
"Thanks Miranda, I will." Miranda walked out as Derek reached around for the stool to sit on. Resting his elbows on the bed, he brought his other hand to her forehead and lightly ran his fingers across.
"So how are you really doing?" Derek asked softly.
"For lack of a better way to put it, I feel like I got hit by a monster truck." Derek smiled slightly. "Parts of my body I didn't even know existed hurt." Derek's smile faded fast as he could see the hurt in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." Derek was overcome with guilt. He felt it was his fault she ended up on that road with Mark.
"What? Why are you sorry?"
"It's my fault. I mean if I had gone home when you told me to or not taken that page then you wouldn't have ended up on that street at that time."
"Derek! You're being ridiculous. What happened was not your fault. It was an accident. They call it that for a reason. Please don't think that in any way this is because of you. Please." Addison brought her good arm to his face, gently running it across his cheek, her thumb grazing his lips. He clearly wasn't getting the message, so Addison decided on a blunter route. "Come here."
"Come where?"
"Derek, I want a kiss and I am in no shape to move to you, so I'm going to need you to come to me. If you'd be so kind." Derek looked at her admiringly.
"Hey, whatever I can do to help." Lifting slightly from the seat, he brought his hands to cup her face and his lips to hers. He expected the kiss to be short and sweet, but Addison clearly had other ideas. Running her good hand through his hair, she rested it on his neck as she pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Derek had to put his hands on her pillow to keep from falling on top of her.
After about thirty seconds, he heard her wince beneath him. Pulling back, he could see she was in pain.
"Addie! What's wrong?"
"My stomach. It's killing me."
"Hang on. I'll page Bailey." Derek ran to the nearest phone and had Bailey paged. She was there immediately.
"What's up?" Derek met her at the door.
"It's Addison. She's in pain. Out of nowhere her stomach started hurting." Before Derek could say more, Addison passed out.
"Call a code Shepherd." Derek slammed his fist against the blue button on the wall, releasing the bed to put Addison in trendeliburg so that Bailey could tube her. The code team arrived to assist soon after.
"Tube's in. Alright. Page Burke. Let me ultrasound her stomach. She may have internal bleeding that didn't show up on the first scan." Derek ran to the phone to have Burke paged. He too responded immediately.
"What's wrong?"
"It's Addison. We were talking and then she said her stomach was bothering her and then she passed out." Derek explained hurriedly.
"Dr. Burke, take a look at this." Bailey called to them from across the room. Burke went to meet Bailey, and Derek attempted to follow, but Burke placed a hand firmly on his chest to stop. "No!"
"Excuse me?"
"Chief's orders. You're not her doctor. Outside, now. Let us help her." Knowing that Addison didn't have time for him to argue, Derek begrudgingly agreed. Leaving the room, he watched through the window as Bailey and Burke discussed a plan of action. She went to the phone; presumably calling ahead to the O.R., as Burke began to wheel Addison's gurney out of the room. The code team went ahead as Burke stayed near Derek.
"What's wrong with her?"
"There is some bleeding internally. I would like to perform exploratory surgery to find the source. I need your consent before I can do so. Technically, you two are still married and that gives you power of attorney." Burke shoved the paper in Derek's hand.
"Do you know the source?"
"No, not yet. But I'll find it. Thanks Derek." Burke closed the chart and began to walk away when he felt a tug on his arm. Derek's hand was around his elbow.
"Preston, I can't lose her."
"I know. You won't." Preston brought a hand reassuringly to the one Derek had on him. Derek released his grip and let Preston off. Watching him go, he leaned against the nearest wall and prayed to anyone that would listen that Addison would come through this okay.
Seattle Grace
6:30 a.m.
Derek lay in the on-call room in the dark, staring blankly at the ceiling. The chief banished him there until Addison's surgery was over. He was making everyone uneasy by pacing through the halls of the surgical floor, and Richard needed to keep the calm. He also ordered Derek to sleep, but until he knew Addison was safe, no amount of exhaustion would make him sleep.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the door to the room slowly opened, with Izzie Stevens coming through it. She moved quickly, knowing that no one was to bother Dr. Shepherd on the Chief's orders.
"Dr. Shepherd? Are you awake?" Derek shot out of bed, fearing the worst.
"Yeah, I am. What's wrong? Did something happen?" Derek was rambling, and Izzie motioned for him to keep it down.
"No, nothing like that. That's what I came to tell you. Dr. Montgomery was moved to recovery. I don't know more details, but she came out of the surgery well. I just thought you should know." Izzie whispered. Derek admired the intern for risking so much by speaking to him. He knew how fond Addison was of her, but he didn't realize how much it was reciprocated until now.
"Thanks Stevens. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. What time are you allowed out of here?"
"7:00. I'm supposed to be asleep, but that wasn't about to happen. I feel like a four-year-old who got given a time out." Izzie smiled at this analogy, watching as he ran his hands back forth through his head, clearly stressed out.
"Is there anything I can do?" Derek pulled his head from his hands to look at her. She reminded him so much of Addison as an intern.
"Thanks Stevens. I'll be fine though."
"Alright. I'll let you get back to sleep then." Izzie put quotes around sleep, to which Derek smiled.
"Thanks." Derek lied back against the bed and watched the door settle back down. He hadn't slept alone in years. He almost had forgotten how. Turning on his side, he wanted to reach and pull Addison closer to him. Just having her body against his, the amazing scent of her hair traveling to his nose put him at ease. And now, lying awkwardly in the bed, all he could think about was her, alone in a hospital bed. Screw time-outs; he needed to see her now.
Intensive Care Unit
6:45 a.m.
Derek made his way to the I.C.U. as quickly as possible. He needed to avoid the Chief, so he went the long way. Finally arriving, he quietly let himself in. He found Addison in the back, asleep in her bed. She looked peaceful, as always. Seeing the scratches and stitches blemishing her otherwise beautiful face made Derek's blood boil. What he wouldn't give to return the favor to Mark immediately. As strong an urge as he felt, Derek knew that Mark wasn't worth it: Addison needed him to be there for her now, and nothing else mattered.
Gently running his hand over her scrapes, he brought his lips to her forehead to kiss her. Pulling back, he moved towards the foot of the bed to check her chart and figure out what caused her bleeding. Before he could get to it, a voice pierced the silence and scared the crap out of him.
"Now I know you're not going for her chart Dr. Shepherd." Bailey moved into the light illuminating Addison's bed. Derek grabbed for his chest. He was on edge as it was; her sneaking up on him was not what he needed.
"Jesus Bailey. You scared the crap out of me."
"That's what happens when you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Give it over." Derek handed her the chart.
"What are you doing here anyway?"
"Checking up on my patient."
"Why aren't you catching up on some sleep? You've been here since yesterday."
"I could ask you the same thing. You've been here just as long. And the Chief was very stern with his orders I hear."
"Yeah well, I needed to check on her."
"Me too."
"I'm her husband, what's your excuse?"
"I'm her doctor. I don't need one. Plus, she's a friend, and I wanted to make sure she was out of the woods before I went too far. Now if you don't stop asking me questions I'm not updating you on said wife's condition." Derek was impressed by how much their friendship meant to the usually all-work Bailey. It meant a lot to him to know that someone with opportunity was looking out for her.
"My apologies. So how is she?"
"Dr. Burke and I repaired the damage and stopped her bleeding. Her newest ultra-sound looks great. All and all, I'd say Addison got lucky. The accident could have caused a lot more damage than it did. She's tough."
"That she is." Derek looked down at Addie admiringly. He let out the big breath he was holding in. So much emotion washed over him now that he knew she was in the clear.
"You alright, Dr. Shepherd?" Derek looked at her as he plopped down on the stool.
"It's just…so much has happened between us. And I was mad, so incredibly mad and hurt at one point that it clouded my judgment. I pushed away the most special person in my life. I don't deserve another chance but she gave me one. And these last couple of months has been unreal. Getting back in tune to how we used to be was like falling in love all over again. But tonight, seeing her in the E.R. brought my whole world crashing down."
Miranda studied Derek. Never before had he seen such raw emotion pour out of her superior before. She was originally against Addison taking him back: after last time she didn't think he deserved her. In this instance, she couldn't have felt more wrong. His love was overwhelming.
"Derek, I know this is hard. Trust me, when Tucker got hurt I was in the same place you are right now. Being a doctor and unable to help just makes it worse. But, you need to have faith and believe that everyone is looking out for her and that she will get through this. It will get easier when you see her up and around again. I promise."
"I know. And I know that I'm being selfish, but I just want her back now. I just want to go back to being happy and carefree and watching her smile light up her entire face." Derek continued to run his fingers up and down her arm, studying her resting body as he spoke.
"You will get it all back." Miranda said with confidence.
"Thank you Bailey."
"You're welcome. Now get out." Miranda spoke sternly; the sudden change of pace baffled Derek.
"Excuse me?"
"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately man? You're a mess. You've been awake for 36 hours, you haven't showered, you haven't eaten, hell you've barely stopped pacing since Addison came in. You need to take care of yourself."
"I'm fine!" Derek said, slightly annoyed. "She comes first."
"Since she's not awake, I'm arguing for what she would want. She'd yell at you just as I am. And you are still a doctor in this hospital. You have patients and a surgery at ten. And you know she'll smack you upside the head if she wakes up to you like this."
"As a matter of fact…" Derek stood up to argue, but saw the infamous Nazi finger point shushing him.
"Don't even try it. Get out, do your job, and come back when you're more composed. I'll stay with her until she wakes up so she isn't alone."
"Fine." Derek bent down to give Addison a goodbye kiss on the forehead. He moved towards the door, but turned to get in one last word. "For the record, I hate this."
"I know. Keep moving." Bailey motioned to the door. Derek peered back in; he looked like his favorite toy just got taken away. Begrudgingly, he headed towards the locker room to clean up. Bailey laughed him off and returned her attention to the files she had brought to keep herself occupied. So focused, she didn't realize when Addison began to stir.
"I thought he'd never leave." Addison said softly, licking her lips.
"Addison! You're awake. Wait, how did you…." Bailey was confused as to Addison knew Derek had even been there.
"I heard you guys talking. You're not exactly the best at keeping it down." Addison smiled softly, gaining up some more energy to continue. "I didn't want to open my eyes because I knew he'd stay. I also knew that if I gave you enough time, you'd kick his butt out of here and force him to take care of himself."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Bailey responded, still a little shocked at Addison's stunt.
"Anytime." Addison shifted slightly in bed to sit up more, wincing at the pain on her side.
"Here, let me help you." Bailey extended her hands, but Addison shook her head. She wanted to get her strength back, and she was never one to accept help. "Alright then. So, tell me why you wanted me to tell him to leave."
"Because he wouldn't listen to me. We can both be very stubborn if we want to be, and we'd just end up going back and forth. I could yell and scream for him to get out, but he'd think I was just trying to be tough and independent and he'd yell and scream back at me that he was staying. It's our thing. Usually our fights like that are of no importance."
"Except…" Bailey could sense a 'but' coming on and filled in the blank.
"Except now, he will care more about me and literally forget to take care of himself. When we were residents, we had been dating for about two years and one winter I got the flu really bad. I was stubborn and didn't listen to anyone about slowing it down and eventually passed out in the hallway. I got admitted and hooked up to I.V.'s; the whole nine yards. I was so exhausted that I'd sleep for hours at a time. Whenever I did manage to open my eyes, there was Derek; passed out in a chair next to my bed. Finally, after three days of living in the hospital with me, our attending at the time actually banned him from the hospital for a day."
"Banned him from the hospital? That's big, even for Shepherd."
"I know." Addison laughed, thinking back to the memory of when he got removed from her room. He wasn't happy, and she couldn't stop giggling. "That's the thing with Derek. He is so incredibly caring so much of the time. You get so accustomed to being looked out for and loved, that when it stops, you don't know how to go on." Addison's smile faded as tears began to fill her eyes.
"Addie, you should have heard him before. He's so head over heels for you I want to be sick. You have no idea how guilty he feels over everything."
"I know. It's just exhausting some times, the never ending emotional roller coaster we are both on."
"Now, don't take this the wrong way because the Derek that you've brought back is great, really. But if memories like this one bring back so much pain, why do that to yourself?" Addison locked eyes with Miranda, contemplating her question only momentarily. She knew the answer because it was allowed her to be with Derek again in the first place.
"Because when it's good with him, as it almost always is, there is no better feeling in the world. All the negatives could never out way the immense amount of positives that come from being with him. He stole my heart fourteen years ago, and I'm never getting it back. And, to be honest, I'm okay with that."
"Yeah well, I'm not. His McDreamy ass better be careful."
"What would I do without you, Miranda?"
"Good question." Both women smiled. "Alright I'll let you rest more. You need anything?"
"Nah, I'm good. Thanks." Bailey nodded and quietly left the room. Addison wiped the residual tears from her face and closed her eyes. Thinking of Derek, she slowly drifted to sleep.
This was a good day for updates! Thank you to all the writers…I was in heaven! Hope this adds to the mix in a good way! Reviews are cool if you're in the mood. P.S. not sure if anyone here is into baseball but the Yankees just crushed the Red Sox so color me happy! On that note, good night all…hope you enjoyed!