CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: UNDERSTANDING

Gali found herself back in Kopaka's ice-cavern as the image faded away. She shook her head, and then looked up at the other Toa with an odd expression. Kopaka turned away from her, focusing his attention on the wall across from him.

"Now do you see?" he said, calmly. Gali could tell he was shaken by having to relive that, but she knew his pride wouldn't let him show it. She smiled sadly and laid a hand on his shoulder. Kopaka, however, continued speaking. "Now do you see why I must leave? I have the blood of one Matoran on my hands, not to mention the blood of countless foes. How much more blood must stain them before I can stop this… madness?"

Gali was confused. "Madness…?"

Kopaka turned to face her, "Turaga Kualus, while harsh, was also wise. He told me that I had to find absolution for Amaka's death. How can I find it? He said by defeating my enemies. That, however, is a vicious cycle. I kill, and then seek to atone for the killing by killing some more? How does that make sense?"

Gali was, for the first time, given the impression of a lost and frightened Matoran, but Kopaka wasn't finished. "I can't…" Gali was shocked to see a single tear leak out of his normally calm eye, "…I can't bring her back. I can't absolve myself of that sin…" he turned to face her, "…and I do not believe I am worthy to even think of you as a friend after I failed to protect her. You saw how weak I was!"

Gali wanted to slap him, "Kopaka, you were a MATORAN! There was little you could have done, and you did more than I would have. You actually tried to stand your ground!"

Kopaka waved her away, "That didn't matter to anyone in my village," he said, his voice returning to its usual calm state, "They called me a murderer… they said I killed the Turaga's daughter through negligence."

He shook his head in a defeated way, "That's why I'm here. I'm here to atone. If there are distractions to my atonement, I must leave."

He returned to carving his ice boat, and the ice cave rang with silence. "If you want to leave, Gali, you can. I'm sorry… I shouldn't have burdened you with that."

Gali sighed heavily, "Promise me something, Kopaka. Just please do one thing… for me?"

He looked up at her, listening. "Yes? What is it?"

"Promise me you'll at least stay for one more week, alright? It's just to think it over, please?"

Kopaka nodded. "I can do that for you, Gali."

Gali smiled sadly at him, "Kopaka, I didn't know Amaka, but I can say one thing for certain. Wherever she is right now, she would be proud of you. You defeated the Makuta… you destroyed the Bohrok Swarms and the Bohrok-Kal. You slew the Bahrag and aided in the quest to find the Seventh Toa. For Spirit's sake, Kopaka, you killed the Sons of Makuta! I'm willing to bet that even your Turaga Kualus would be proud."

Kopaka shook his head, "Believe me when I say Kualus was never proud. He sent me here for one reason only. I'll tell you this, but only…" he'd been about to say because I trust you, but couldn't bring himself to say the words. "…only because you've been so nice to me…"

She nodded, waiting for him to continue. Kopaka took a deep breath, "One night, I heard Kualus talking to another Matoran. I don't know (or care) who it was, but he said that if I was sent to Mata-Nui, I'd be able to die with some honor. That's all he wanted; for me to come here and martyr myself as punishment."

Kopaka shook his head in some kind of sick amusement, "I refuse to die to please that old loon," he stated, "I defied him by living past my first battle with a Rahi. He bet the Matoran I wouldn't survive the ocean voyage."

He looked up at her, "Go on, Gali. The other Toa will be missing you."

She nodded, "Remember, Kopaka… one week…"

Kopaka nodded in return, "To me, Gali, a promise is law."

Without another word, she donned her blue Kakama and sped off.