Chapter Six

Verdict

Thanks to mj0621, Margaret, HouseAddiction, Eleanor J., BlkDiamond, and hell's-sugarrushed-killerqueen for their reviews!.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to House. I just merely wished I did.

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"Dr. Cuddy, how long have you know Dr. House?" The prosecutor asked, pacing up to her.

"A while, ever since college," she answered.

"What was your relationship back then?" he asked.

"I was a year younger than him, but he was already a legend. I mean he already had a reputation for saving lives and being a damn good lacrosse player. We were friends. I took some of the same classes he did." She said.

"Thank you, Dr. Cuddy, but I merely needed an answer to the question." He said.

"I did answer your question, just not in the way you wanted." Cuddy muttered, just loud enough for some of the members of the jury to hear, but not the prosecutor himself.

"Dr. Cuddy, what amount of the drug, Vicadin, did you prescribe Dr. House?"

Cuddy drew a sharp intake of breath. She could not lie for House under oath. "40mg." she said.

"Yet the record shows that he's currently taking 80mg." Paul said.

Madeline was about to object when she caught a look from Cuddy. If Cuddy didn't say something back, it was damning evidence against House.

"His pain may have gotten worse after the ketamine treatment relapsed." She said.

"May?"

"Nothing is an exact science." Cuddy replied. "His pain probably did get worse and therefore, his original dosage was not enough. Another factor could have been the resistance his body could have developed to the drug, making it difficult for a small dosage to numb the pain."

Paul didn't look pleased with her statement. Her professional manner was something the jury had been looking for and it was starting to aggravate him. He was trying to trap her in a circle of her own words, but her witty remarks and straight-to-the-point statements made it extremely difficult. He would have to paint her as a less trustworthy person in order for the jury to reevaluate her testimony.

"Dr. Cuddy, have you and Dr. House ever had intimate relations?" he asked.

"Objection!" Madeline yelled. "Relevance?"

"I merely wanted the jury to hear if Dr. Cuddy's opinions about Dr. House could be biased based on past relationships." Paul countered.

The judge was shaking his head. "That was out of line. Sustained."

Cuddy let her breath out, relieved. She would have had to admit so much if she had had to answer that one question.

The questioning went on and on. About her private life, about House's private life, about his work at the hospital. It kept going and Cuddy started to feel her head spin, from trying to keep herself from slipping on any information that could potentially hurt House. At the end, however, Tritter had an extremely pleased look on his face and Cuddy realized that she may have screwed up.

Luckily, Madeline spotted the same situation. Paul had pushed Cuddy into corners, asking her only questions that would pain House as a son of a bitch and not giving her time to state the opposing argument. It didn't help the jury's opinion of him after his outburst and Madeline was afraid that it would do more harm to just leave Cuddy's testimony at that.

"Redirect, your Honor?" she asked, standing up.

The judge nodded and motioned for Madeline to approach Cuddy again.

"Dr. Cuddy, the prosecution has already established the overall view of Dr. House, but what is your opinion of his professional manner and his work?" she asked.

Cuddy relaxed. She was safe to praise him in this circumstance. No one could call her soft or say she had feelings for him in this situation. She could argue that she was merely protecting one of her best doctors. No one could use that against her.

"I think he's a son of a bitch and an ignorant bastard." She said simply pausing to let her words sink in.

This called attention to her words, she was doing what the jury least expected and that made her the focus. It proved to them that she was unbiased, that she did agree with everyone else to a certain extent, but also did not agree in her own way. It made her reliable and showed the jury that she was not standing before them just to protect a friend, but rather someone that was important.

Then she said, "But he's a bastard that knows what he's doing. He saves lives that otherwise would have never had a chance. His own medical condition is against him, but his mind is brilliant when it comes to finding out everyone else's. I will testify that he's probably a better doctor than me, a better doctor than anyone I have ever met. He has a talent for his job, a talent that benefits so much more than it could ever harm."

The prosecution could not find grounds for objection, so Madeline let Cuddy talk. She wanted the jury to hear what a real living person thought of House, not just what the rumors have allowed to fly around. Not just what Tritter had said, but the experience of a real person sitting before them; it was the only way to paint a different picture of House.

"He saves lives." Cuddy continued, almost like a declaration. "He saves lives and that's what doctors do. Every doctor swore an oath of healing when they get their license. He did too and he has probably lived up to it better than any doctor before the man that invented surgery. He does his job. How he does it doesn't really matter when statistics show that his way of doing it works in spite of all odds."

She paused and then added more quietly. "If you would rather have a doctor that holds your hand while you die, then Dr. House is a bastard that you would never let examine you. But if you want a doctor that ignores you and makes you better, then Dr. House is the miracle worker that every patient prays for when they don't have a prayer left."

"Thank you Dr. Cuddy." Madeline said.

"You may step down." The judge nodded.

Cuddy smiled as she pulled herself to her feet and stepped out of the witness box. Wilson was watching her every move. She met his eyes and shook her head, subtly when she sat down beside him. Madeline was already calling her next witness, one of House's former patients.

"That did not look good." Wilson said.

"It was Hell." She retorted. "I have never had to be so careful with my words in my life."

Wilson patted her hand gently. "You pulled it off though."

"Barely," she muttered.

Wilson didn't answer. There was no sense in talking to her about it now. She was fretting, babying over the situation because that's just who she was. Anything less than perfection was not good enough.

"I looked over the file." He said. "I'll do it."

"Thanks." She said softly. "I owe you."

"You really have no other choice. I mean this is where House left off." Wilson pointed out.

"I did have a choice. This is the one I choose." She said softly.

He gave her a small smile. "It's the right one."

"Thanks." She murmured.

She watched the rest of the trial with solemn eyes, knowing full well that while she had released House, she had condemned herself. Everything she had worked for was going to slip right through her hands and she would have nothing left in her life. She felt a sense of regret mixed in with her apprehension. If House was found guilty, she would have given up everything for nothing.

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Cuddy was in her office, going through paperwork when the ducklings stopped by, Cameron in the lead. They entered without knocking, something they never did. House was the only one that ever did that.

"Cuddy…" Cameron started.

"How was the trial?" Foreman asked before Cameron could finish.

Cuddy sighed and snapped the file before her shut. "You want the cliff note's version?" she asked. "Or do you want me to go over every detail?"

They didn't answer. She didn't expect them to.

"Jury's out deciding the verdict." She said, offering no further explanation.

"That's all you're gonna tell us?" Cameron asked. "I mean we deserve to know more than that."

"You deserve nothing. But there was nothing super important that went on." Cuddy countered. "Though if you want, be there for him for the verdict. He'll never let on, but he might be touched to see all of you guys there."

"You'll let us bail out of our jobs?" Chase asked bewildered.

Cuddy gave him a sad smile. "It might be the last thing I let you guys do." She said.

Before they could asked questions about what she meant, she changed the subject. "New case?" she asked.

Foreman nodded, pulling out a file. "You want the cliff's notes very version or do you want me to go over every detail?

Cuddy smirked. "What's confusing you…Cameron's hair or Chase's concern?"

Foreman grinned while Cameron and Chase fumed under their breaths.

"Nothing at this point in the case," Cameron said with a slight glare, "We were just wondering if House was coming back."

Cuddy sighed. "I don't know, I really don't know, but I really hope so." She said softly.

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The jury was out for a week and that week was the worse week of Gregory House's life. The turmoil was not the apprehension of spending the rest of his life in jail, the turmoil was the conflicting thoughts of seeing and not seeing Lisa Cuddy again. He wanted to, but he was afraid to. Afraid of what he might say to her about her absence, afraid to know the reason why she decided he suddenly wasn't worth her time.

He did not know if he could bear to know if Cuddy decided that she was not a big part of his life anymore. She was his last lifeline and if she let go, he may drown. The pain in his leg was nothing compared to the ache in his heart. The last time he had seen her had been a month ago. She had looked beautiful in her suit, beautiful like always, and he had nearly lost himself in her blue eyes.

He wanted to hold her, touch her hair, kiss her forehead, all the things that lovers did with each other. He was so tired of holding himself back, trying to keep his urges in control while his heart longed to be the sole salvation in her life. She was in his. If he could hold her for one night, he would die a happy man. A happy man even in a place as dreary and disconnected as the prison House was currently sitting in. When she waltzed in the place, however, she radiated something not just for him, but for everyone there, reminding them how there was still life going on in the outside world. It gave them a glimpse to what could have been had then not made the mistakes they did.

It was painful as much as it was touching.

House closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall behind him.

I miss her. I hate to admit it, don't even want to admit it, but I miss her. I miss her so much and I can't let go.

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Lisa Cuddy gazed at her own reflection in the mirror. She didn't know the woman staring back at her. Love was war and the battles were taking a toll on her. Now there was still a price left, a price that she had yet to pay and was not even sure she could afford.

She pinned her hair back into a half up-do, making her look even more professional. She closed her eyes as she thought of the verdict. So much weighed on the decision. The jury probably had no idea how much what they decided on the case would impact the hospital, its patients, and the doctors themselves.

She could not envision the hospital halls without House there. Lately, the hospital had seemed to be too quiet without him there to annoy her, to make her want to scream and pull her hair out. Without him there, she had finally begun to realize just how much he impacted her daily life and routine. There was no one to argue or banter with anymore, just meek doctors that took her orders with no question. There was no mental stimulus and the hospital was incredibly boring without him there to spice things up.

She forced herself not think about what would happen if House was found guilty. The pain that would result from that would never end for her and she would probably hang herself from her own guilt. It wasn't fair. Nothing in this trial was fair. It was hurting Cuddy as much as it was hurting House and Cuddy had done nothing wrong. She tied a scarf around her neck and looked at herself in the mirror again, hating her mistakes, hating the situation, and hating her guilt.

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When the jury entered the courtroom, everyone was already there waiting. Chase and Foreman sat in the second row with Cameron between them. Wilson and Cuddy sat in the first row right behind the defense stand. House, looking worse for wear sat beside Madeline and had his unshaved face in his hands.

Cuddy analyzed him completely unaware that he was doing the same to her out of the corner of his eyes.

He looked worn. His shoulders sagged much more than before and his already unshaven appearance look haggard. She wanted to run her fingers through his untamed hair just to smooth it back and be close enough to touch. She reached out from behind him and gently touched his shoulder…barely. He winced and her emotions wreaked havoc on her.

He was still handsome to her, however. She could not deny the feelings of care and love she felt toward him, nor could she pretend that they did not exist. She adored every part of him, every thing inside and out, his scars, his manner, and his use of words that never ceased to amaze and irritate her.

You're beautiful

Just the way you are

And I love it all

Every line and every scar

And I wish that I could make you see

This is where you ought to be

Come down to me

She looked like she hadn't slept in days or weeks. No amount of makeup could cover the dark circles under her eyes. Her blue eyes were distant as if she was trapped in another time and could not find her way to reality. She was in a no nonsense mode, something House could tell easily just by watching her. She touched his shoulder and he felt that familiar tingle down his spine. That slightly longing feeling that he had chosen to ignore and to hide for years and years behind their endless fights and banter.

House dragged himself wearily to his feet when the judge told him to. The verdict was decided. House's fate was already sealed.

"Not guilty."

House let out the breath he had been holding and turned to look at his team, Wilson, and the woman who had been behind him throughout the whole time.

"I LIVE!" He yelled. "HA!

Cameron clapped while Chase and Foreman wore grins on their faces. Wilson wore a shameless smile on his face, but Cuddy was in tears. House watched her release pent up emotions showing the world the side of Lisa Cuddy that she never showed. But at the moment, Lisa Cuddy did not care what other people would say about her tears, she cried because 'not guilty' were the most beautiful words she had ever heard in her life.

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Cuddy hung back near the court entrance as the ducklings embraced House, one by one. She watched with painful eyes as Cameron leaned in and kissed House while the others looked on and clapped. He kissed her back and Cuddy looked away. She could not make a move now. She would be leaving soon. Tritter, she knew, would be true to his word. He would make sure she lost her job, so she had taken the steps to resign before he had a chance to ruin her reputation.

Spell it out in a song

Bet you never catch on my weakness

I'm singing very word for you

Here I'm thinking I'm sly

Then you're catching my eye and just maybe

You're thinking what I'm thinking too

"I love him." She murmured, not even realizing that Wilson was standing beside her.

He was looking at her with a stunned expression when she realized he was there.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Yes…" She blurted out. "I mean no. I mean…"

He was watching her and then shifting his gaze to House and Cameron.

Words fall out of my mouth

And I can't seem to trace what I'm saying

Everybody wants your time

I'm just dreaming out loud,

I can't have you for mine and I know it

I just wanna watch you shine

"Does it hurt to watch him hold her?" Wilson asked.

"Hurts like hell." She said. "I don't understand why he never looks my way."

"Maybe because he's afraid to."

She shook her head. "Wilson, he doesn't care for me. I mean look at him. I guess I'm jealous and it's making me into a bitch, but come on, Cameron? Why the hell would he pick her?"

Tripping up on my tongue

It's all over my face and I'm racing

Gotta get away from you

Burning all the way home

Try to put it to bed but it chases

Every little thing I do

"Maybe because she's the opposite of you," Wilson thought out loud. "Maybe she makes him feel superior."

"He already feels superior, he needs someone to bring him down sometimes." Cuddy retorted.

Wilson didn't reply. She didn't care. She was watching House intently with longing etched on her face. Wilson didn't understand her depth of affection for him, but he could read that she loved him dearly just by the actions and sacrifices she had made for him. She had taken care to that he would not know about what she had done.

"I'm leaving James." She said. "I'm not gonna give Tritter a chance to win a fight with me."

He gave her a sad look. "If that's what you think is best, then go. I'll make sure he doesn't know until it's too late for him to say something about it."

"Thanks."

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I know better than to tell him the consequences of his freedom now. He'll storm and rage at me and then resort to sulking when he realizes that nothing he says and does can change the inevitable. Me leaving is the inevitable and for once, House will have to learn to deal with not getting what he wants.

It's not like I want to leave. In fact, when I pack up my office and shut off the light for the last time, it'll be the hardest thing I will ever have to do in my life. I love this hospital as if it were my own child and for years, it really was. I put everything my life on hold for it. Chances of finding love, creating a family went by and I let them slip through my hands because my job was what I lived and breathed for.

Now it'll be gone because I made the decision to save him instead of myself. Was it worth it? I wish I could say my own job and my own life was more important than Gregory House, but I can't. He keeps saving lives, lives that I could never save. Sure in his department I successfully diagnosed one guy, but that's because it was in the heart and cardiology was my major. House saves lives that are deemed unsaveable and he comes through with miracles that only he could think of, someone who's truly insane and truly gifted.

I guess that's the price I pay to save lives. I swore to do good when I got my license and this is the best bit of good I can do in my life. Saving his job equals saving lives. This time me giving up my job for him is not about my guilt. It's not about how bad I feel that I didn't make the right decision the first time around for House to save him from the pain he endures now. It's not that. It's admiration for him and it's love.

I admire him for his talent and I love him for the man that he is. I have accepted the fact that I love him and come to terms with the fact that he will never know. He doesn't have to know. I can simply adore him from afar and be there when he falls. I'll catch him and he won't even know it and that's fine with me.

It'll be hell to tell him I'm leaving. He hates authority, but he hates not getting what he wants even more. I say I'm the only one that can control him and it's true, but he knows he also has a way to control me. He doesn't like change and when the time for change comes, he won't embrace it.

I'm praying that Wilson and Cameron will ease this transition and that Chase and Foreman will be there to lighten the mood when House becomes too dark and wrapped up in his own little world. I guess that is…no was my job, but I can't do it anymore. Our little fights and spats were really just for fun, mental workout for both of us. Here's hoping that they can keep him in line like I tried to.

This is my last few days here in this office. I'll probably never be back and I will never sit behind this desk again. I will never argue with House in this room again or have to riffle through papers of complaints and lawsuits against him. I feel wetness in my eyes when I think about. I finally learn the blessing of the little things in life you take for granted. I wished I had learned this lesson sooner, then maybe, just maybe I would have been so much more appreciate of the little everyday issues I had that I know I will now miss so dearly.

Pull yourself together Lisa. You can't let anything get to you like this. You never let anything touch you this way. I smile to myself. That' s me, Lisa Cuddy, the untouchable doctor that seems to human yet feels so emotionally cold. That's me, Lisa Cuddy, Former Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

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Author's Note:

This story is really rather short and I want to drag it out but I don't think it's fair to my readers if the quality drops because I'm going for quantity. Fear not, there will be a sequel if I ever get the time to write it. I know I haven't updated my other stories lately, but that's because lately for those other shows, I haven't had some huge inspirational moment and I don't think it's fair if I force myself to write and it turns out crappy for everyone. Enjoy this chapter. I still just absolutely love this story. House is such an original show that writing for it is just SUPER fun.

And the whole thing about House flying into Cameron's arms will be dealt with later. Hehe. I'm not a house/Cameron shipper I'm a huddy shipper so be free to know that there will be Huddy later on after I finish with all the angst that is this story and part of my next one. Again…enjoy!