Chapter Seven

Drinkin' Me Lonely

BlkDiamond, Tobylove, Foreful, DemonDaughter, mowrocks, addicted2coffee, SpreadTheWord, HouseAddiction, , DrusillaBraun, LindafromItaly, house's phoenix, RHSecretLove, and hell's-sugarrushed-killerqueen for their reviews! Thanks so much!

Sergeant, I'm glad you liked that quote and I didn't come up with it, I just tweaked it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

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"Dr. Cuddy…" Tritter said softly.

"Whatever you need, you will have to wait, because if it concerns the hospital I'm not the woman to talk to anymore." She replied flatly.

"Ah, so you resigned. Smart choice."

"It's not like I had much of one. I just hope the next time you get sick, you get sick enough to die and then when I find out, I'll drink to it." She said coldly.

He walked around her desk, surveying the bare walls. "Was it worth it, Dr. Cuddy?" he asked.

She looked back at him, facing him with cold blue eyes that sent chills down his body.

"Yes." She said simply.

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Gregory House had never felt so happy to be back limping through the hospital halls. It was so routine, so normal that it felt unnatural. Of course it was later than usual. The trial ended at almost 7 at night and by now the sky was dark and e went on in his usual manner, sarcastic, cynical, and just downright mean, but there was lightness on his chest.

He made his way to the elevator and up to Cuddy's office. He wanted to talk to her about her testimony and Tritter's threat, not knowing that she already knew the consequences of her actions.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. He was face to face with Dr. Allison Cameron. Awkward pause followed. He didn't know what to say. After their little episode on the day of the verdict, things had gotten immensely complicated. Finally, Cameron broke the silence.

"I was waiting for your call." She said.

"Sorry my service was bad." He lied.

"You didn't answer your e-mail."

"Forgot my password."

Cameron laughed bitterly. "You just don't quit do you? I mean I think I deserve better than what you gave me. I mean one night and then you start avoiding me? That's low, even for you House."

He feigned a wince. "But you figured out my plan, because obviously you've found me. And that was just a one time thing."

She was staring at him like he'd grown horns and a second head. "Just a one time thing? Are you crazy?"

"Yes, Cameron, this isn't high school. I mean Chase got some. Granted you were high and probably out of it, but I WAS TRICKED!" he replied.

She scoffed. "How so? As I remember it was you who wanted it."

"I just got out of jail. No womanly touch in like what? Six months. I was as good as high." He said.

"You son of a bitch." She said angrily. "You son of a bitch."

"I've been called worse and this isn't high school." House replied, moving past her toward Cuddy's office.

"Oh so you're going for the slutty one." Cameron yelled, completely losing control of herself, in a manner completely unlike her.

"You know, I like the quiet Cameron better. The nice one that acted like everyone kicked her puppy. Any way you can go back to liking me because I'm damaged?"

She glared at him.

"No? Well okay. Go find Chase, maybe he has some meth. Though after what happened last time, I'm sure he's got some in his pocket just for you."

She spun angrily on her heels and strode off. House leaned a bit more heavily on his cane. He hadn't meant to hurt Cameron on purpose, nor had he meant to sleep with her. He was out of it, detoxing on pills and she was just there. He got ahead of himself and before he could reel himself back the damage had been done. He had felt empty, no sparks, nothing. The whole time he found himself envisioning someone older, with much more curly hair and a drive that mirrored his own.

He had tried to break it off with Cameron right afterward. He left quickly and then ignored her calls. He hoped he had sent her the message, but apparently she hadn't understood. Oh well, what's done was done. He couldn't change it now and being House, he pushed it from his mind.

He found himself at Cuddy's office door. Slowly he pushed it open and then gaped at what he saw.

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The walls were bare and boxes of papers were piled up on the floor. Cuddy had decorated her office with a homely feel to it, stating that her purpose was to quell the temperatures of sue happy patients. She was rifling through her drawers and pulling out the last of her files and placing them in the cardboard boxes.

"Spring cleaning?" he asked, stepping behind her.

She smirked. "No, I wish it was that, but no. I'm leaving. Aren't you supposed to be with Cameron? She's been looking for you."

"She's a bore." He replied lightly. "I can in search of some more interesting recreation."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, typical of House. He was not the type to just drop a girl randomly, Cuddy knew that for a fact after his relationship with Stacy, but Cameron was a different story. The girl let anyone with feet walk all over her and House was the type that had zero respect for that kind of attitude. It didn't surprise Cuddy that the relationship was only physical, nothing more. She also had no doubt that Cameron would get over it quickly. She loved to try and change and fix people. Cuddy had already accepted the fact that House would neither change or be fixed. Cameron had to learn the same lesson. Obviously, House was intent on teaching it to her.

She sealed the box and then paused to look around her naked office.

He looked at the floor. "Is this because of Tritter?" he blurted out before he could feign not caring.

She nodded. "He gave me a choice, resign or get fired. I chose the first. Got myself an apartment out of state and a new job."

She turned to face him, meeting him square in the eye, unnerving him with the amount of seriousness reflecting at him. "Be good okay? Or at least try to be."

"I can't. You're the only one I really listen to." He said softly. "No one else carries the whip as well as you, or will hit as hard."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure the board will find someone that uses the whip more often, but I have to go."

"But…"

"No buts House, this time you can't have things the way you want."

"But I always get what I want. Well except for the clinic hours." He whined.

"Stop it. You sound like a 2 year old."

He looked away from her and then lost it. "WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU CHALLENGING THIS? I MEAN HELLO! ARE YOU AWAKE? ARE YOU ALIVE? IS THIS CUDDY OR IS THIS HER EVIL WIMPY TWIN?" he yelled at her. "THE REAL CUDDY WOULDN'T TAKE THIS FROM ANYONE!"

She glared back. He expected her to yell at him, scream at him, throw a tantrum that was as frightening as his, but she didn't. Her voice was tightly clipped and controlled when she answered as if she had her hands on the reins and refused to let them go.

"Look House, I gave up my job for you. For the fact that I know you can't live without your job because it's the only thing that keeps you human, or as close to one as you'll ever be. One of us had to go and I made it myself. Now don't come telling me that shit because you clearly don't know me at all." She replied.

"You think you do, because you think you can read everyone like a book. Listen to me Greg, because I'm the only one who will tell you nicely. You aren't always right. Medically your stats show that you almost always are, but with people, you have no idea. So don't tell me what I would do, what I should do, or what I will do because you have no idea."

He looked at the floor. "Cuddy…no, Lisa, You're going. I can't change that."

"Damn right you can't," She muttered, cutting in.

He looked at her almost pleading. Years lost between them, coming back to possess in this moment. There was no reason why they chose to walk away from each other so many years ago. It could have been the endless arguing, the careers that were calling their names, or the fact that their youth barred them from chasing after a love in the making. Whatever it was, it ended them and both had walked away more scarred than they will ever know.

He stopped and she gave him an apologetic look and clearly indicted that he should continue. He didn't know if it was her indication was all that clear, however, just that the slightest gesture she made, he could comprehend her meanings loud and clear.

"I just think you should know. I never meant what I said about you being a mother." He said slowly. "Granted you'll probably mess up a lot and probably end up needing a therapist, but other than that you'll make a great mom. I can almost see you in a soccer jersey, screaming like those maniacs in the park."

She knew that was the closest thing to an apology she was going to get from him. She never expected less and she didn't expect more. It comforted her to know that House was still himself and that he still treated her as if she were Lisa Cuddy. Few knew that House and she had been friends, and even fewer knew that they had been each other's love interest. Now she was sure that he had lost none of his attitude or the ways that made him so special and unique. She felt a smile form on her face.

"Thanks. If I ever become a mom, I'll send you a soccer jersey." She said.

Right on time, Wilson entered her office. He had agreed to help her move her boxes to her car. The movers were already at her home and she wanted to hurry and get there to watch them work and make sure they didn't break anything.

"Hello Jimster!" House said sarcastically. "Here to do the work that the cripple can't do?"

"Why yes, House, Cuddy needs someone that doesn't fit under the definition limping twerp to move these boxes." He replied.

House pushed a box toward Wilson. "Well then, move the boxes. I mean that is what you were supposed to do right?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes and stepped in before Wilson could make another retort. "Thanks, James. I owe you. Here's the key to my car, I'll be out in just a second."

He nodded as he exited with two boxes under each arm. Then House and Cuddy were alone again, facing each other, silence that was as awkward as it was comfortable.

"Well I guess, good bye." House said slowly.

She pulled the scarf around her next a little more snugly and lifted the last box into her arms before she tried to answer. "House."

He didn't say a word. He just pushed past her and headed straight for the door, trying to keep his emotions in check. Emotions that he never let show themselves were now having their vengeance on him. He could never imagine the hospital not being in Cuddy's control. He could not imagine going a day without arguing with her or seeing the product of her labor and dedication. The hospital was not itself without her. It never could be.

"House…" She said again, this time with an edge that caught his attention despite his best efforts to pretend that her leave did not affect him in any way.

She knew she had him. Deep down, she knew she had him all along. Ever since their meeting, she had him all along and she knew that she had never let go. Their unspoken affection had stood the test of time, but it would not and could not stand the test of fate and circumstance. Now was the time to finally do what she should have done so long ago. She had to let him go, set him free from her control.

She moved toward him and pecked him on the cheek, her lips gentle and warm despite the coldness in the air. Her eyes were damp as she spoke her last words to him.

"Greg. I'm going to miss you." She whispered. "Do your job and when you save a life, think of me and why I chose to do this." She hesitated. "Good bye."

She slipped out of his grasp, out the door, and into the coldness of the snowy night. He watched her leave in the dark, knowing that he would never see her again. He had waited too long. Mistake number one. He gave Tritter all the ammunition he needed to hit her while he wasn't watching. Mistake number two. House never made mistakes. He knew from experience that one mistake could cost many things. But everyone was human, everyone made mistakes and House, in spite of all things, was human.

The only difference was he refused to be. He refused to make mistakes because he knew. He knew the price, the cost, and the pain that would come with it. After all he had made not one, but two mistakes with Lisa Cuddy, and it had costed him the greatest price of all, her.

It was one mistake he would never recover from.

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She was gone, probably on a plane and halfway across the country by now. A half empty bottle of whiskey was clutched tightly in his hand. It had been full only thirty minutes earlier. He took a long swallow.

I'm pushing you away each time I pull up that ole bottle

And drownin' you in every drop I drink

I'm telling you to go to hell, but I'm talking to myself

Cuz you're not around to hear what I think

He had an open photo album on his lap. His college years and toward the end were filled with pictures of the years at PPTH. Cuddy was in most of them. He found little use for pictures, but right now, they were the only thing that still held her face beside his mind. He could not believe she was gone and found himself trying to blame her for leaving, but he knew that it was only him that was at fault.

I'm trying to teach my heart to hate you

But it ain't workin' right

Now the truth is I'm only drinkin' me lonely tonight.

He let out an angry yell as he threw the album across the room, where it collided with the white wall. He was angry, hurt, lonely, and drunk. He could not remember the last time he had someone that he truly cared about to hold and to love. Stacy was the last and he had always hoped that Cuddy would look his way long enough for him to find a way around his usual habit of sarcastic comments. She had not.

Lord it's more than just thirsty that I'm feeling inside

Cuz these tears I've been crying have left me bone dry

I wish this bottle had a cure I could buy

But the truth is I'm only, drinkin' me lonely tonight

He was Dr. House. He never made mistakes and he never had emotions. Everyone always accused him of being heartless and tried to make him feel something. He knew the danger to that so he refused to succumb to that. He had always been sarcastic and cynical, but he was not always bitter. Years had worn down his innocence and then experience had brought on the bitterness. He was feeling the pain for the first time in a long time, and he hated every moment of it.

Who cares whose right or wrong tonight, my better half is gone

And this whiskey's laying claim to all that's left

So I'll just drink up another and pretend I'm all right

When the truth is, I'm only drinkin' me lonely tonight

The point of the alcohol was to numb the pain and it was working. What is wasn't doing, however, was erasing her memory. It was there, clear as ever. The jail was already a distant memory. A nightmare that he had spent months sleeping in and then woke up to forget. He had only seen her one day in 6 months and already she was filling up his mind every waking moment. He took another deep gulp of the brew, feeling darkness begin to cling on the corners of his vision.

And Lord, it's more than thirsty that I'm feeling inside

Cuz these tears I've been crying have left me bone dry

And I wish this bottle had a cure I could buy

But the truth is I'm only drinkin' me lonely tonight

With a weary sigh, he let the darkness consume him. Even then he had one more image flash across his mind, Cuddy smiling at him before walking away into the darkness that surrounded him. He tried to reach out to her, but his arm was too heavy. He couldn't stay awake. He tried to call out but his throat would not work. He just lay there in silence as he finally let her go, unwillingly, fighting, but without a choice. His angel flew off into the night and there was nothing he could do to stop her. She flew away and never looked back.

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Author's Note:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the official last chapter to this story, though the next one will technically be the last chapter. The next one will paint two instances into the new lives of Dr. Lisa Cuddy and Dr. Gregory House and I think it may have a song in it too because I heard the perfect song that would go with the story line. It will be the opening to the sequel that MAY bring them back together. I say MAY for suspense purposes. I am a pure Huddy fan and I love Huddy humor and angst so obviously most of my stories are angsty just because I am better at writing sad stories. I don't know why. Anyway, enjoy this chapter, yes Cuddy is gone. :Cue the NOOOOOOOOO chorus: But she may be back in the sequel. Okay I'll just tell you, House and her will meet again in the sequel because if they don't, there would be no story. Now R&R and I'll try to bring you the sequel and maybe another House fic as soon as I can.

Credits for the song used- Drinkin' Me Lonely- Chris Young with me tweaking a few things to fit the story line.