A/N: ...it's done. And I decided this was better as a Chapter than an Epilogue.
Chapter 14
I piled all of my clothes into my trunk and tried to slam it shut. Of course it wouldn't because somehow over the course of the year I had gained about five more outfits. How I had managed this, I had no idea.
I knelt down on the floor and looked under the bed to make sure there weren't any clothes under my bed. I groaned when I saw a lone sock sitting in the middle of the dusty area under my bed. Unable to reach it with just my arm under the bed, I groaned again as I climbed under the bed.
"This is so disgusting," I muttered as I crawled through inches of dust. I retrieved the sock and backtrack until I was sure I was out from under the bed. Unfortunately I wasn't.
"Damn," I cursed when I raised my head, sure that I was out from under the bed. I hadn't been, though, and knocked my head on the bed hard. I sat rubbing the back of my head, willing the sharp pain to go away and praying that I wasn't going to get a huge bump. I heard a loud thud and sat still. Slowly I rose to my knees and saw that my trunk had disappeared from my bed.
"You have to be kidding me," I said angrily as I climbed to my feet, the pain from my head forgotten. I walked over to the end of my bed and saw my trunk overturned on the floor, all of my clothes strewn on the floor. "I hate life," I cried as I bent over and started to gather my clothes.
I heard a soft knock and then the door slowly open. "I heard a loud thud, do you need any help?" a timid voice came from the door. I turned and saw Hermione in the doorway. I was about to turn away and ignore her but then the mess on the floor caught my eye. She was always good at cleaning up messes.
"Ok," I shrugged, kneeling back down and picking up my time-worn trunk. Hermione walked over, knelt beside me, and started to pick my clothes and fold them.
We cleaned up the mess in silence, but it wasn't the hostile silence we had shared before school had started. We just didn't feel like talking. A few minutes into the cleaning we had system set up. I would gather all of my clothes and put them into my trunk and then Hermione would pull them back out and fold them neatly, setting the clothes on the bed.
"I'm going to go get my stuff from the bathroom," I said quietly, getting up from my sitting position. I saw Hermione nod and I walked over to the bathroom. I rummaged around the bathroom, picking up my toothbrush, make-up, and various other toiletries. I heard a noise and I paused. There it was again. It was someone laughing.
I picked up all of my stuff and walked out of the bathroom and saw Hermione sitting on the floor laughing while looking at some pictures. I crept silently over to her and peered over her shoulder. My breath caught in my throat. It was of Ron. Wait, these were my pictures. I dropped everything I was holding in my arms.
"Ginny!" Hermione said, turning around as if she had been caught doing something illegal. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go through your stuff. I was just reaching for some clothes and I pulled this out, sorry," she stammered, a blush creeping up her neck.
At first I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to snatch back the pictures and yell at her, but I didn't. For the first time I couldn't lash out on her.
Instead I slowly took the picture from her hands and looked at it. After a moment a smile broke out on my face.
"I remember this time," I said quietly, the smile getting wider. "He got so mad when he found this picture. I'm so glad he didn't get a chance to burn it."
"Yeah," Hermione said quietly, still unsure if I was going to lash out on her again or not. I knelt down next to the trunk and dragged out more pictures.
"Remember this picture?" I asked, holding the picture up for Hermione to see. Hermione took it and smiled, laughing a little bit.
"That was a really great time," Hermione said, sitting down next to me.
For the next hour Hermione and I ruffled through photographs of Ron and various friends. We smiled at every picture and laughed the most at all of the pictures of him playing Quidditch.
"Oh, oh! I remember this! It was the morning after that Gryffindor Common Room party. He was so wasted," I said, waving the picture in front of Hermione. She took the picture from me and started to crack up laughing.
"I told him he was going to regret it in the morning," Hermione said between laughs.
"Oh please, like you didn't do anything that night," I said, nudging her in the shoulder.
"It was just a kiss," Hermione moaned, dropping her head in her hands.
"But it was who it was with!" I argued, laughing.
"Next time I'll try to be more careful about who I'm around when I've had a little bit to drink," Hermione said, laughing.
"A little bit is an understatement," I said.
"It was not my fault. I had a sip of Ron's and then everyone decided to spike all of my drinks when I wasn't looking. It wasn't my fault," Hermione argued. I just laughed and rolled my eyes.
"Whatever you say," I shrugged. I sighed and let a small laugh out again as memory after memory filed into my head as I looked at each picture that we were surrounded by. Slowly Hermione and I fell into silence, lost in our own thoughts. "I'm sorry," I said so suddenly I even surprised myself for a second.
"What?" Hermione asked, not catching what I had said.
"I said I'm sorry," I said again after taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for being just an ass this whole year. I had no right."
"No, no you had a right," Hermione said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "I should've understood what you were going through."
"No, I was being selfish. You were going through the same thing. I'm just really sorry, and I hope we can still be really good friends," I said, looking hopefully up at her.
"Oh my god Ginny, of course we can still be friends! Of course! I wouldn't think of anything else," Hermione cried, wrapping her arms around me. Gratefully, I wrapped my arms around her. It felt so good to be on good terms with Hermione again.
"Thank you," I said quietly, sniffing back a tear. I pulled back reluctantly and stood up. "Um, thanks for helping me clean up and stuff and I want to talk to you some more but there's something I really have to do right now."
"Ok," Hermione said slowly, standing up as well. "Are you going to be ok?"
"I will be," I said, giving her a smile and then walking out of the dorm room.
---------------------------------------------------
I leaned against the wall, half-hidden by the door, trying to muster every ounce of courage I had, because this was definitely going to take every bit of it.
"I don't want to do this, I can't do this, why am I doing this?" I muttered, taking a deep breath. I took a step into the sunlight but quickly retreated when I saw him again. I've been doing this for the past ten minutes and I couldn't get past the first step.
"Is it really that hard?"
I turned and saw Draco standing on the opposite wall, looking out the doorway.
"Yes," I said simply.
"You're making it hard on yourself. Just take a deep breath, walk out there, and talk to him," Draco said, shrugging his shoulders.
"You're making it sound too easy. It's not going to be that easy," I argued. "There is no way this is going to be easy."
"Listen to yourself," Draco said, "you're what's making it hard. You're telling yourself it's going to be hard so you're assuming it's going to be hard. I guarantee it won't be as hard as you think."
"Have you gone through this before? Have you confronted your dead brother's best freaking friend? You know, that guy that you saw everyday in the hall with your brother, the only brother who actually cared about you? That guy who also saved your life when you almost died? Have you confronted that guy? Have you told him that you're still in love with him? Do you plan on telling him that? That even though you've ignored him for the past year and a half you still love him no matter what he's done and what you know he's going to do?
"Do you miss him? Do miss being able to run up to him and throw your arms around him and know everything's going to be all right? Do you miss it more because you know it'll never be the same or because you know you'll never be able to go back to the way things were no matter what you do? God, because I miss it, I miss it so much," I cried. I was crying and I didn't even care. I silently wiped away the tears but I didn't care that they were coming back.
"You're right," Draco said simply after a few minutes. "I haven't gone through any of that, and you're right that it'll never be the same, but that doesn't mean you can't try."
"I hate trying," I muttered, leaning back on the stone wall.
"You'll never get anywhere if you don't try," Draco said, giving me a small smile. I glared back.
I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked outside to the lake, searching for the hunched figure under the tear.
"I hate you," I said, looking back at Draco. He just smiled, rolled his eyes, and walked away with his hands in his pockets. "Typical Malfoy," I muttered at his retreated back.
I looked back outside, took a couple deep breaths, and took a step outside. I didn't retreat but took another, and then another, and then another until I was slowly making my way over to a certain tree where a certain boy sat.
When I was few feet away I seriously considered walking away. He hadn't noticed me yet and he would never know that I had been there. I could just walk away and do this another time.
But I couldn't, and I knew I couldn't. I had do this. Sooner better than later.
I took another step, and then another and soon I was right behind him. He still hadn't noticed me so I sat down, right next to him.
Harry looked up from his book in surprise. I wasn't looking at him, I was looking at the muddy ground, but I could feel his surprised look. He started to fumble with his book, his hands, and his hair, unsure of what to do. It was almost comical if this wasn't such a serious situation.
"Hey," I finally said, still not looking at him, to break the tense silence.
"I-um, hey," Harry said, finally settling on those simple words.
We fell back into silence. I didn't know what to say and even if I did I wasn't sure I would want to and Harry unable to say anything because he was so shocked that I was sitting next to him and sort of talking to him.
Finally I looked up from the ground and gave him the best smile I could to tell him that everything was going to be ok. That we could work through this. That no matter what, no matter what happened or happens, we would always be there for each other. That we could work the constricting pain together.
The End
A/N: ...it's done. It's complete. You guys might think it ends ubruptly...and it might but this is how I planned to end it since the very beginning...well actually I was just going to end it at 'Hey' but changed that. So yeah, you'll live.
I'm not doing a sequel, I have no ideas for one. So please don't ask. Sorry.
I hope you guys have enjoyed this fic, I certianly have. Honestly I was planning on this whole 'goodbye' thing. But I finished this Friday I had to edit it but then alot of stuff has happened and right now I just can't do any of that. But I'm so thankful for all of you guys, all of my reviewers and silent readers (who should definitly review since this is the last chapter, hinthint). I love you all to death.
Thank you so much for sharing this writing experience with me.