Chapter 9: Desperate

Jag didn't want to be there. He was with his family on the Hapan Island Cluster at a stupid ball that caused him to miss practice that day. Luckily, it was Coach Durron that he'd talked to, not Jaina. Had Jaina been the one to decide whether or not it was okay for him to miss practice, she would have said "no", but his parents would have still made him go, and he would be kicked off the team for it.

He did a double take as the next group of people entered the stately hall. He'd have been a fool if he didn't expect President and Captain Solo, at the very least, to be at the ball thrown by the royal family of Hapes; after all, Jag had already seen Jacen who was escorting Tenel Ka – no, Her Royal Highness Tenel Ka, he couldn't let himself forget that for the night she was a princess.

But nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Jaina Solo walking in behind her parents and next to Anakin and Tahiri. The deep red gown she wore did her amazing figure justice. She looked like how he'd always seen her on the covers of his little sister Wyn's glamour magazines, how, until recently, he'd always pictured her. And he had pictured her, many times, as every guy had pictured her. She was model thin with perfectly toned limbs and a pretty face, the famous daughter of famous and rich parents, and though he'd only ever seen it in magazines and on television, her smile could stop a man dead from a mile away. Of course, now he knew that her smile was forced; now he knew that her personality wasn't as fun as the articles said; now he couldn't figure out why the other guys that knew her still fawned over her like she was some sort of goddess.

His parents began making their way to greet the Solo family, and Jag followed, knowing it was what they wanted.

"Soontir, Syal, good to see you," President Solo greeted his parents warmly. They greeted her in turn, but Jag noted that Captain Solo and his father ignored each other completely. Jag moved to greet Anakin and Tahiri, but they'd already disappeared, and he was left with Jaina.

"Hey," he greeted her uncomfortably. Ever since that day at the gym, Jaina had left him alone. Instead of verbally tearing him apart everyday at lunch, she ignored him completely. But at practice, he could feel her watching him, though she said nothing. In response, Jaina simply nodded her head in his general direction.

Their families began moving farther into the ballroom; Jaina and Jag followed.

"Jag," his mother whispered in his ear, "Ask Jaina to dance." Of course, his mother didn't really want her son to dance with Jaina Solo, but it was the politically polite thing to do. He knew he would never get into politics.

"Jaina, would you…um…" Jaina rolled her eyes and stuck out her gloved hand for him to take.

"My mother already gave me the lecture." She allowed him to lead her on to the dance floor. They naturally fell into their respective roles.

"So, you need a lecture to dance with me, huh?" he tried to joke but immediately cursed himself afterwards. He'd never been a funny guy. Sure, he had a great sense of humor, but not too many people ever got when he was trying to make them laugh, and forcing such a thing on Jaina Solo was most definitely suicide. He waited for the inevitable lash out that he could only pray would be quiet enough so as not to draw attention from the crowd – their parents would be sure to murder them then. She stared at him for a moment with a completely blank expression before allowing a small not-even-half-grin that Jag took for one of amusement.

"Oh yeah, a really long, drawn out one, a few hours at least; it was so long, I wasn't even able to lighta fire under the cauldron before we had to leave."

Jag was surprised at her humor but gave his own mutated rendition of an amused expression anyway. He never expected her to joke back, especially in the way she did. But the ice was broken, and he could feel her relax slightly in his arms.

"You dance like you spar," she commented suddenly.

"How do you mean?"

"Stiff, formal, choreographed, though I must admit, you have been improving in the last few practices. Taking my advice to heart possibly?"

Jag refused to humor her wicked grin and simply said, "I honestly didn't think you'd pay attention to my sparring skills enough to realize anything."

"Who says I wasn't watching Tahiri and simply noticed that her sparring partner was getting closer to being evenly matched with her? Besides, people can call me a lot of things, and I'm sure they do, but no one can accuse me of being a bad captain." But Jag knew he'd make a better one.

The waltz ended and they stepped away from each other. As the Hapan Royal Waltz began to play, everyone moved off the dance floor. Jag watched as the Queen Mother stepped onto the dance floor with her husband next to her and Tenel Ka and Jacen following. Jag didn't think he's ever seen a more complicated dance.

"What happens if they miss a step?" he mused aloud.

"They keep the heads in a room down the hall," Jaina replied without missing a beat.

"A very cheerful room, I'm sure."

"Oh yeah, wanna see?" Jag looked at Jaina, startled.

"What?"

"Just go along with it, and I'll get us out of here." Jaina slipped away and Jag followed.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Jag whispered as they weaved through the crowd as inconspicuously as possible.

"Just don't let your parents see and we'll be fine."

They finally got to a secluded exit and, with a quick glance around, ducked through the doorway and into an enclosed garden. Jaina led them to the farthest corner and plopped down on a bench. Jag sat next to her.

"This doesn't mean I like you any more than I ever have – I'm just desperate."

"Same here."

"Good."

"So…" he said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"So." It seemed like he would be the one making the conversation.

"Where's Zekk?" he asked simply trying to fill the void.

"Zekk? Are you honestly saying you could see Zekk here?"

"You're here."

"But I grew up in this; besides, mother dearest dragged me out of the house and contrary to popular belief, Zekk and I are not attached at the hip."

"He's an idiot," he muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Zekk is an idiot for making you come without a date and a terrible boyfriend."

Jaina laughed. No, it wasn't a laugh; mocking cackle would be a better name for what she did. "If you think Zekk's my boyfriend, then you're the idiot."

"He's – he's not?"

"That ship sailed and sank a while ago."

"Right." What was it about Jaina Solo that made him feel like such a moron?

"Anyway, what about your girlfriend? Why's she making you come to this without a date?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"The girl who's call I answered."

"That was Shawnkyr. She gave me crap for that by the way. She's just a friend though…" Jag trailed off when he realized Jaina had stopped paying attention to what he was saying.

She sighed in exasperation and bent over to undo her shoe straps. Black curls rolled off her shoulders, and Jag once again found himself transfixed by her.

"Never wear heels."

"I wasn't planning on it, actually."

"Oh good, I'd be kinda freaked out if you were." She straightened and fixed her top. "God, I hate this dress."

"You look nice."

"Well, I'd be much more comfortable if I was wearing-"

"Black?" Jag offered.

"Work out clothes. Somehow I doubt the dress being black would make it any easier to breathe. But, yeah, black, I guess I do wear it a lot."

"You guess?"

"Alright – I do wear it a lot."

"Why?"

"'Why' what?" She was trying to antagonize him, he knew, and as much as Jag hated it, she was close to succeeding

"You know what."

"Not necessarily, I mean, you could be asking a lot of things. Why do I insist on eating Cheerios without milk every morning? Why do I continue to call Tenel Ka 'Teekay', even though she has asked me to stop at least once a week for the past twelve years we've known each other? Why do I torture myself by watching the dumbass movies that Anakin picks out? Why haven't I shaved my head and joined a cult on Ylesia…?"

"Why do you always wear black?"

"I don't. Case and point: there's no speck of black on me at the moment." She held out her arms to indicate that he could check if he wanted to.

"Why do you usually wear black?"

She was silent for a few minutes, as though she was trying to decide why to let him in on some huge, important secret. "You know, no one's really ever asked me that. They just tend to assume whatever they want to." She was silent again, then took a deep breath and said, "I'm in mourning."

At first Jag was shocked and sorry for the girl sitting next to him. Then he realized what she was doing. It was just another Jaina Solo mind trick. "Oh, yeah, who are you in mourning over?" he asked mockingly.

"Someone I never really got to know," she spat at him. In a flash she was on her feet, shoes back on, and headed towards the ballroom. "They'll start to notice if you're gone too long."

It wasn't until after she disappeared back inside that he got up and followed her.