Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

It was Harry's funeral yet Hermione thought it had turned into more of a carnival. She looked around at all the faces that she didn't know and that Harry hadn't known, and wondered if it was the thought of their savior that drew them. Hermione resented it all, Harry wouldn't have wanted this, Harry would have liked to be laid beside his parents in the small graveyard in Muggle London underneath the bright lights of the street lamps. Harry wouldn't want to be interred on the sloping grounds of Hogwarts near the tomb of Albus Dumbledore. She knew he wouldn't have thought he deserved it, that it was an honor only Dumbledore deserved. Harry wouldn't have wanted a funeral at all. He wasn't one for goodbyes, she smiled at the thought. He never did say goodbye maybe that was just so perfect for him. He wouldn't see the hurt of his loved ones, he would be free.

"You okay Hermione?" Ron asked from beside her, they sat at the front of the crowd in the honored persons seats. Or as Hermione liked to say "The Minister of Magic and co.'s seats", somehow she was surprised that she was sitting there she thought the Minister had reserved them all for himself and some others.

"I'm fine." She said turning to smile at Ron who only nodded in response. She was working on him, determined to make him smile again. If she looked up she was sure she'd see a pair of grey eyes with lines at the corners looking at the interaction between Ron and her, but she didn't dare. Hermione would never dare, it would be like going from the shallows to treading water in the open ocean, and she had never been a good swimmer. It went quiet all of a sudden and she looked to the pulpit to see the Minister standing behind it. He began his speech and almost instantly anger began to bubble up inside of her. He spoke of Harry's loyalty to the Ministry and his support of their decisions. This was a fucking publicity stunt at Harry's funeral and Hermione saw red. She stood shakily walking over to the pulpit and pushing aside the Minister; she ignored the gasps of the crowd. When she looked up she saw those grey eyes and it only caused to nudge her forwards, and she happily plunged into the open ocean. Hermione cleared her throat, and stood tall.

"Everything about today is wrong." She paused and there was mass confusion. "Harry Potter wasn't the savior of the world. Harry Potter was a boy who carried a burden that was crushing him. A boy who was terrified of what he knew he must do, but he did it anyways in an extreme act of love for his friends, his family, and all those he knew who had died, and yes some far way down the list was the rest of the wizarding race." Her anger was consuming her and as she continued her voice cracked. "All this is a charade, a mockery of the boy who meant everything to Ron, to Ginny, to Albus Dumbledore, to Sirius Black, to Lily and James, to Remus Lupin, to Hagrid, to Neville Longbottom, to me, but felt completely worthless everyday. Some of you may claim that you would have died for Harry Potter, but he died for you." A feeling was running swiftly through her veins and she couldn't identify it. "It's a shame that none of you knew Harry the funny, caring kid who played Quidditch in his best friend's backyard, the Harry that wouldn't have wanted a funeral at all, who wanted to be buried beside his parents. It's a shame that as time goes by he won't be Harry he'll only be Harry Potter and the only people that will remember the boy behind the name are those who he meant everything to." Slowly she drew back from the pulpit feeling dizzy and disoriented, Hermione looked up and saw those eyes before she turned and walked away. Walked away from the people who could never understand.

She felt the first sob hit her as she walked through the gates leaving Hogwarts. The second brought her too her knees, the breath gone from her body. Hermione let loose a long keeling cry her hands reaching up to tear at her hair as she felt her world breaking apart. The third hit her and she slammed her fists against the ground her anger unbearable.

"Why! Why did you have to take him from me?" She ignored the pain as rocks bit into her hands causing them to run red with blood. "He never did anything wrong!" She flashed through years of memories and the tears ran down her face. "He was everything to us." She whispered and she felt arms encircle her waist and she fought against them. "He did everything that was asked of him! He was supposed to live!" She screamed even as she was dragged to her feet and turned to face Malfoy. She focused her anger on him beating his chest with her fists.

She was slowly breaking as the strength left her and she merely collapsed against him helpless. Hermione Granger was supposed to be the cool collected one. Hermione Granger was supposed to hold herself together. But Hermione only wanted to die to join Harry wherever he was. Hermione couldn't stand the pain any longer. The irony of the world was crushing her and she couldn't forget his laugh and his jokes, she couldn't forget anything about him. Hermione felt fresh pain and she screamed as it hit her, days and nights with Harry and Ron.

"Why! Why?"

A/N: This was really depressing to write because I really wanted to make it into some Draco Hermione romance fic but I resisted and I like the results. So review MOTHERFUCKERS. Just cus its angsty and not smutty doesn't mean you shouldn't hit that review button you little twerps.

Your most benevolent author,

Wonderwall