A/N: This came to me last night as I was going to sleep…
I actually started crying at one point when I was writing, but then again, I'm a total sap.
This is the night after Bella's birthday when Edward didn't stay over.
Disclaimer: If I owned New Moon, Edward would never have left. I would have bound him forcefully to some big steel object…
I was downstairs before the door closed.
"You're an idiot," I told him.
"Not now, Alice. I've made up my mind. This is my decision, no one else's."
"Do you really think you're helping her?" I asked. He always said he loved her, if her really loved her, couldn't he see this would hurt her? Was he so naïve as to think that Bella would just be fine, that she'd ever forget him?
He isn't around when he's gone, she always seems so lost without him. And then when he's finally back, it seems as if she's a different person.
"Yes," he replies snippily as he tries to escape to his room. It's the first time since he met Bella that he's tried to avoid an argument. He always rushes headlong into them, ready with his perfect logic. We're losing him already.
I don't want my brother to lose his smile. Before Bella, he was always alone, always separated from the rest of us. Esme always worried that there was something missing. I always worried that he was lost.
I had thought that his missing piece was lost from him forever. Sometimes, I wished that Edward had died, if only so that he wouldn't have to be so broken.
And then he found Bella.
I cannot let him make this mistake.
"The world doesn't revolve around you, you know. You're not only hurting yourself. There are other people involved in this, Bella for one. Bella isn't going to get over this, she loves you," I argue, unwilling to let him get out of this.
"I'll ask that you keep out of her future, we've done enough damage. Besides, she's human, her memories fade. If I have to go through a little pain, then so be it."
"Why do you have to be so goddamn masochistic?! Why can't you let yourself be happy?! Do you think you don't deserve to be happy because of what happened years and years ago? We all have demons Edward, stop being a coward and face them!" I screamed, not caring who heard.
"This has nothing to do with…that. This is for Bella, no one else. We're only causing her pain. We're putting her in danger. Humans and monsters don't mix."
I've heard this speech before. My brother is under the impression that he's a monster. It's ridiculous. How could someone like him be a monster? The sweet, caring, selfless, brave brother I know is not a monster. It's just one more way that he's broken.
"Does that mean you think I'm a monster, Carlisle, Esme, everyone? You're being absurd!"
"It's a fact of our condition. If you want me to be more specific, vampires and humans don't mix. We are inevitably going to cause her trouble, it's best to stop now while we can."
"Then just change her," I whispered, not even sure if I meant to say it. It's been said so many times in this house, for different reasons. Sometimes it's said in anger, others in jest or teasing, and still others in seriousness, sometimes even in spite. This time, it's a plea.
For the first time in the conversation, his voice turned icy and fills with rage.
"I will not damn her. I am not going to take her from her friends, her family, the sun. I won't force her to spend her nights awake and alone."
"She wouldn't be alone. She'd have you, and she's made it obvious that's enough for her," I retorted.
'She loves you!' I mentally yelled at him. I let images of the two of them together flit through my mind all coming together to convey that one simple message. How could he ignore all the signs? For someone who claimed to know all there was to know about human nature, he was being rather thick about this.
His face twisted in agony as the images bombarded him.
"She doesn't know what she's asking for. She hasn't seen what it really means to be damned, and I'll never let her. A year of it, and she'd hate me for it," he murmured, more to himself than anything.
Is that why he won't change her? Because he's afraid she'll hate him? Can't he see that she could never hate him?
"It's final, Alice. Leave me alone."
The words that came out of my mouth next were hurtful and had malicious intent. I didn't care.
"Fine, be an idiot. If you're willing to put Bella through this, than you don't deserve her."
And then I ran away like the coward I was. I didn't want to see the new crack I'd made in him.
My brother is broken. And there's nothing I can do.
A/N: I have no comments other than to read and review. Also, please tell me if I hit the mark with Alice. I know the nasty comment was a bit OOC for Alice, but I can see her making it if she was really mad.