Legolas: Many thanks to Commisar of the Books, and if you review every chapter we will love you forever!
Caranril: I'm sorry to say the sleep thingy won't be defined for a while just yet, since it happens when she's tuckered out. Aaaaand not to spoil anything for those who haven't read it yet, the latest manga chappie screws up my plot a bit. I may be making changes to previous chapters, but I'm thinking those are safe. The ones I haven't posted yet are in danger.
disCLAIMER: While I do not own Naruto nor any affiliated subjects therein, Kishimoto-sama does and therefore he owns my soul
Chapter 3: What We Feel Inside
Sasuke was in a very good mood. His long chat with Naruto over ramen and then afterwards at Naruto's apartment had brought him closer to satisfaction than anything in the past year. It was a very rare occurrence for them to speak to each other with words that didn't involve threatening or goading. Despite the years that had grown between them, Sasuke felt that in one afternoon they'd breached that gap and then some. He wasn't accustomed to closeness, but it made him feel warm inside. It reminded him of the good old days when Itachi was too far away to think about. Now Itachi would never again be a problem. Rebuilding relationships had seemed too troublesome, but after talking with Naruto, Sasuke decided it was time to join society. He would stop by Sakura's house after the training Kakashi had called him for.
After Sakura...he'd have to see. He was never close to anyone else; he'd always thought himself above them. He was still better than everyone else, but there was a curiosity about some of the ninja who had been in his class. Particularly Hyuuga Hinata. He barely knew she existed, yet she was the world to Naruto. He'd never imagined Naruto would find a girl who liked him enough to stick around for long, but then he never imagined he'd be able to see Naruto again.
What had triggered his change of heart...he still had yet to figure out. He had been entirely prepared to forfeit his body to Orochimaru after killing Itachi, but instead he'd wrecked his underground and left him for dead. He doubted anything less than dead would stop Orochimaru from coming back into power, but he didn't care anymore. His top medic nin would no longer be able to serve his master after the state Sasuke had left him in. Mangekyou Sharingan did a lot more than psychological damage.
The training had been called at the old grounds where he, Sakura, and Naruto had become Genin. Kakashi knew Sasuke was keeping to his own training schedule, so why he'd told him to come here was irritating. Most likely he wanted to talk. Even though Kakashi was a genius ninja and top-rank among ninja, Sasuke doubted the thirty-two year old man had anything left to offer his former pupil.
He could sense her before he even saw her. She was perched atop the middle post, ironically the one Naruto had been tied to. Kaori was staring across the trees and towards the direction of the sea, which couldn't be seen from Konoha. She had a look of utter longing on her face that reminded Sasuke of Naruto. He knew she liked being a ninja, but perhaps that was only what her friend wanted and she was here to please him. She really should just please herself. And that thought ran through Sasuke's head in the most wrong way possible.
"I hate you." Kaori was still staring at the horizon, the look of longing gone. Sasuke wasn't sure she actually said something. Or if she was talking to him.
"I thought you said you didn't really hate me," Sasuke said off-handedly, leaning against another post with his arms crossed.
"I didn't then. I do now." Kaori's eyes shifted to glare at him, the rest of her remaining motionless.
"What was Tsunade's verdict?"
"Lots of tests. Especially when I sleep. I have to wear this head thingy that monitors my subconscious or something like that. The whole conversation thing had her curiosity."
"You told her about the sleep talking?"
"What was I supposed to do, lie to her?" Kaori turned to face him. "She said 'tell me everything'."
"Is that really reason to hate me?"
"Yes. I hate tests."
Sasuke couldn't resist a smirk as he recalled the mess she'd been in after Suzume's test. Kaori knew exactly what he was thinking about because it was going through her mind too. She stuck her tongue out at him and turned away.
"Whoa, now just yesterday morning you two were more than friendly," Kakashi said, approaching from behind Sasuke. "What could have possibly happened since I left you two? An explosive argument? A battle? Hot sex?"
Both Sasuke and Kaori shot kunai at Kakashi with their eyes. He raised his hands defensively, smiling his eye-smile.
"Guess not. It's my business to know, you know."
"I've been turned in," Kaori said bitterly as she hopped down from the post. She was awarded by a glare.
Kakashi tilted his head. "Have you been naughty?"
For some inexplicable reason, Kaori felt herself blushing at his comment. She told him her sleep problems from the passing out to the strange conversations. Kakashi just nodded and "hmm"-ed every once in a while.
"And she's going to put you through some of her wonderful tests, isn't she?"
Kaori groaned.
"Yup. And when you're asleep too. That'll make you a much friendlier person in the mornings," Kakashi said cheerfully. His sarcasm was not lost on either of his fellow ninja.
"Kakashi," Sasuke said suddenly, "you called us here."
"Oh? So I did. Very keen observation, Sasuke. You get a gold star."
He's just on a role today, isn't he? Sasuke sighed inwardly.
"This news about Kaori's fatigue is quite interesting. Anyway, that will affect our training just a bit, but I'm not too worried. See, Sasuke, I need a sparring partner for Kaori, and I'm not so great at handling weapons."
Sasuke coughed, sounding much like "liar", but Kakashi continued unabated.
"I'm having Kaori use a katana now. And you will work with her since you are so great at handling yours. Your katana, I mean," Kakashi finished with a wink of his eye.
Sasuke gave Kakashi a surreptitious glare. "I don't have mine with me."
"No problem." Kakashi pulled out two scrolls and summoned two shining katanas. He tossed them to the pair. "I'll just be over here, watching out for any fatal wounds that might happen due to the...well, whatever happened yesterday. Okay?" Kakashi gave them a thumbs up and disappeared.
Kaori marveled at the simple craftsmanship of the sword. It was graceful without the superfluous elegance of so many other katanas she'd seen. She liked the feel of it in her hands much better than that bow staff. Sasuke gripped his own sword, comfortable with the weapon by his side. And without another word he attacked.
She had seemed so distracted by the sword that Sasuke was surprised that she countered. She held her own evenly, having unusual upper-body strength for a woman. A sailor's body. She pushed away and took a leap backwards, on her guard every second. There were flashes of steel and grunts of effort as they battled brutally. This ceased to be a spar and became a war. There was passion in their movements, the passion of hate. At leased she told herself it was hate.
Kaori was completely focused on her opponent, knowing the slightest mistake would mean he would win, and that just wouldn't do. But for the briefest moment she had to glance into the trees. She could feel someone staring at her. Not just staring. She felt like she was being torn apart piece by piece, dissected by someone's gaze. It was not a sexual feeling at all. It made her feel so vulnerable. Yet the most pressing matter was the one who did not make her feel vulnerable: Sasuke. At her second of distraction, he managed to slice her leg. It hurt, but adrenaline numbed the pain for the most part. If anything the blood made her feel alive.
"Your movements are too obvious," Sasuke said between breaths. "You move too much from the body and not enough from the shoulders. Subtlety is the key to being a great Shinobi."
"What if I want to be seen?" Kaori gasped, her teeth jarring as she blocked a swing that forced the flat of her blade against her face. Sasuke leered at her as he pressed harder, twisting his own blade to make hers cut her own face. Kaori stifled a yelp and ducked under his sword.
"Then you'll have a very short-lived ninja career." Sasuke feinted and was behind Kaori in seconds, revealing an astonishing speed he hadn't used their entire duel. He held his katana to her throat, the very sharp end breaking the skin.
"Erk," Kaori growled, throwing her sword to the ground. Sasuke allowed the sword to linger just a bit, making her nervous.
"Wonderful lesson, Sasuke," Kakashi said, snapping his book closed as he appeared next to them. "But that was quite a heated battle. I half expected some serious wounds."
"I had the situation under control," Sasuke said quietly, wiping the thin trail of blood off his sword. Kaori pressed her hand to her neck to stave the bleeding, looking dejected and angry.
"What did you think of the lesson, Kaori?" Kakashi asked innocently.
She opened her mouth to spout some smart-ass response, but the piercing gaze hidden in the woods made her too uneasy for wit. She shut her mouth and nodded.
"Hm." Kakashi tilted his head. "Keep practicing with your katana. I have some business to attend to, so shall we meet again tomorrow?"
Kaori nodded and Sasuke shrugged. Both were strangely silent. Kakashi looked back and forth, unsure if he should leave them alone. It certainly looked like they had been out for blood during battle. But that pressing presence hundreds of meters away was begging for his attention.
"Well, I'll leave the rest of today's training up to you two. Now, I must go make a report." Kakashi was gone in an instant.
Kaori rubbed at her neck, finding the drying blood to be irritating. She hissed when her nails caught the flesh and made the wound bleed anew. It was aggravating to not be able to see it.
"Stop," Sasuke ordered, grabbing her wrist. "You're going to make yourself scar if you keep doing that."
"I don't care," Kaori replied morosely. "Just another one to add to my collection."
"Let me see." With surprising gentleness, Sasuke pulled her hands away and touched around the cut. Then he squatted and examined the crusty wound on her leg. He stood back up and pulled a cloth from his pack. He pressed it against Kaori's neck and place her hand on it.
"You'll be fine, but just to make sure you should visit Sakura and have her give you a cream. They're good against scars and infections."
Kaori was still quiet, the anger fading but still looking quite dejected. Sasuke picked up their swords.
"Come on."
They headed back to town, Kaori completely silent. Sasuke normally wouldn't have minded the peace, but he knew her silence meant something was wrong. She didn't even look pissed.
"You may have lost more blood than we thought," Sasuke commented. Kaori glanced at him, then let out a short laugh.
"That's not it. Well maybe it's part of it, but..." Kaori stared at the ground. "You remember me saying that I used to beat people up?"
Sasuke nodded.
"I didn't pick fights; they always came to me. Sometimes I knew the people who came at me, and most of them deserved what they got. When I fought, I felt...well it's the same thing I felt when fighting you just now. It was like this crazy...bloodlust or something. I killed a lot of them just because I got so into the fight. Just now...I really wanted to kill you."
Sasuke maintained his composure, having heard people express the desire to kill him before.
"I'm sorry," she said suddenly. "Please don't think I'm evil. Maybe not all those people deserved to die. Maybe they had families they thought they were protecting by killing me. Maybe some of them were made to do it. But I don't feel bad about it! I know I should! I know I do weird things, and I know how civilized people are supposed to act. But I don't do it. I can't do it. Because I'm a demon child." Kaori slowed from her rant and returned to her quiet mode.
"It's better than being a genius."
Kaori scoffed.
"I'm serious. Yeah, being a genius is great because you can create awesome techniques and learn from others quickly. But sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to be normal and have a family. Would all the girls in Konoha still claim to love me? Would I have actually liked Naruto at first and not seen him as a rival? Would I have survived against Gaara? Would I have even taken the Chuunin exam in the first place?" Sasuke stopped. Kaori turned to look at him. He returned her gaze sharply.
"I stopped visiting those thoughts long ago. You should too." He started walking again, this time in the direction of his apartment. Kaori was meant to continue to the hospital alone. She couldn't really see the tie between her and him, but somehow what he said made sense.
Kaori hated to admit it, but Sasuke was a genius.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Kakashi recognized the Chakra pattern well before he saw the owner. Even still, when he appeared behind the ANBU member, his long black hair was just as obvious.
"Neji-kun."
He turned and faced Kakashi. The panther mask hid his face, but anyone could tell who Hyuuga Neji was with his long hair. Kakashi never really saw the point to the masks. Sure, they provided some sense of anonymity, but with your arms and hair otherwise exposed...
"Sorry Kakashi-sempai. I was under orders by Hokage-sama to observe Kaori-san during her training. I am to report to her when you are finished."
"I think we're done for the day," Kakashi said, scratching the back of his head.
"Understood."
"So what did you see?"
Neji was quiet for a moment. "It's really strange. Her Chakra flow seems nonexistent when she's not using it, but when it's activated...it's quite something to see. It's akin to those I've witnessed with enormous stores of Chakra. She doesn't seem to know she has it. Also..."
"Yeah?"
Neji shook his head. "I'm afraid I may be mistaken on something. I will continue observing for the time being, and perhaps I will draw a conclusion. For now, I'm not at liberty to say anymore."
"That's fine. Keeping me filled in would be a great help, though."
"Certainly, Kakashi-senpai. Those were part of my orders."
"Right then. Later." Kakashi waved his hand as he pulled out his book and made himself comfortable on a tree branch. Sometimes injuries during training were so convenient.
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"Injuries during training are very common," Sakura said.
"But I didn't injure him, and I was the one who really wanted to kill him." Kaori winced as Sakura cleaned her neck wound.
Sakura was silent for a moment. "Why did you want to kill him?" she asked quietly.
"It's...really hard to explain, but when I fight, I feel...I don't know. Primal? Like I'm on the hunt or something. Or like I have to kill my opponent or else he'll kill me, you know?"
"I may know what you're talking about. Some ninja see every fight as a fight for their lives. It's do or die, I suppose."
"But Sakura, I've been that way all my life." Kaori tilted her neck up so Sakura could apply the cream. "I'm a weirdo and I know it."
"You're not a weirdo, Kaori," Sakura smiled. "You're just different than us. Imagine if I went to your country. Would I be considered a weirdo?"
"Yeah. Well, maybe more like a freak. That's what they call me. That and Akumako."
Sakura sighed. "I'm starting to dread the mission there."
Kaori's head snapped back down. "Mission?"
"Oh, there's nothing solid yet, but Tsunade-sama's been conducting interviews with the Shinobi and making preparations to send a couple teams over there. I have a feeling she wants to wait until your training is done."
"Oh. So...I'm guessing you know you're going?"
"Yes. I'm a medic nin after all. I should be able to help out over there."
"You know it's funny," Kaori said, "well, maybe ironic. The sailors are some of the healthiest people just because we don't live on land. Though we do face problems that the land-lubbers don't. Like...privacy. Never had much of that."
Sakura smiled. "Sounds like a typical mission."
"Yup. And with the things you can do, I doubt you'll have any problems with the sailors. I mean, your strength and all." Kaori paused. "We are taking a ship to get there right? We're not going to walk on water the whole way? I haven't done that yet."
"That would be waaay too long of a journey. We have a ways to go before we even reach the coast." Sakura tapped Kaori's forehead protector. "And we'll need to take supplies. How could we possibly carry them that far?"
"Hm, you're right. 'Cause you use Chakra to walk on water but not on land."
"Correct." Sakura carefully bound a bandage around Kaori's neck. "This is just to keep it dry. The cream will prevent scarring better that way."
"Thanks Sakura. Heh, this feels funny when I talk."
"Take it easy, okay? I know from experience that Sasuke can easily provoke people. He doesn't even really try." She sighed, "I guess that's just the way geniuses are."
"Yup." Kaori stood. "Hey when's Naruto gonna be back?"
"He came back yesterday..."
"Huh?! Why didn't he come to see me?"
"...and then left an hour later on another mission."
"Oh. Tsunade's really keeping them busy, eh?"
"She's lost two great Shinobi for your training." Sakura' hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, I didn't mean for it to come out that way!"
"No worries," Kaori said cheerfully. "I know that Kakashi-sensei and Uchiha are among the best, and that's why I am really grateful that Hokage-sama would have them be my teammates." Kaori turned to leave.
"Have a good evening, Kaori." Sakura waved, then set about to cleaning up her supplies. She tensed as she felt a malevolent presence enter the room silently. Sneaking up on her. Sakura spun around and threw a needle. A hand quickly snatched it mid-air, then lowered to reveal Sasuke's smirk.
"Nice throw. Would have gone right between the eyes."
"S-sorry Sasuke-kun!" Sakura stuttered. "But I felt a lot of...anger."
"Ah, that's just because I was listening to your conversation with Akumako." Sasuke sat on the stool Kaori had just occupied. "She really pisses me off. She says and acts like she hates me, but then she'll say things like what she just said to you. Or she'll do something that doesn't follow what she says she feels." Sasuke shook his head. "I think this is why I never tried to get to know girls."
"At least she admits she's a weirdo," Sakura laughed.
"She's not so bad," Sasuke said, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.
"I wasn't saying weird was bad. It's just..." Sakura stared at him. "Are we having a real conversation?"
Sasuke shrugged. "I've had a lot of those in the past couple of days. It's sort of this new thing I'm trying out."
"It's...it's because of her, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Since you've known her, you've been different." Sakura felt hollow inside.
Sasuke stared at her. "Maybe. But then you haven't seen the ways I've been changing over the last year. I'm sorry to say, I haven't seen your changes either."
Sakura met his eyes in surprise.
"I just had a long-overdue conversation with Naruto. I think it's time for ours too. But first..." Sasuke scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Sakura."
Sakura knew exactly what he was talking about, and it filled her with hope. She placed her hand on his shoulder.
"I forgave you a long time ago," she said quietly. "I guess I also gave up on you a long time ago too."
Sasuke waited. Naruto had told him Sakura wouldn't pursue him anymore, but he wanted to hear Sakura say that herself.
She hemmed and hawed. "I love you Sasuke-kun."
Okay that had not been what he was waiting to hear. He stiffened visibly.
"I love you as a friend," she finished hurriedly. "Time can heal wounds, but love is like the cream I use to speed things up and hide the scars. It helps us through. And I want you to know that you have my love as your friend. That's all."
That had been what Sasuke was waiting to hear, but it sounded much more sincere than he thought. Perhaps it was finally over.
He gave a small, but genuine, smile as he placed his hand on hers on his shoulder. "I know, Sakura. I know."