Ch.7
Yeah I know it's short. Wrote it in about an hr. Once again, this is pretty raw.
Well I was ready to go home, see my family. Especially after yesterday, the day from hell.
I had worked hard for the better part of yesterday, taking breaks when I needed. Purifying the strands was automatic, but that did not mean it didn't take energy. I did not talk to Sesshoumaru, he had his eyes closed most of the time. Though I wasn't sure he was really sleeping. I had wanted to talk to him about my home when he woke, but by the time his eyes opened, mine wanted to close. I was exhausted.
I sighed and glanced at my companion, who had been eyeing me since I had awoken but not yet said a thing.
"I need to go home." I said softly, but firmly. "I need supplies… and Tylenol."
"Are you sure this portal of yours will work?" He asked the question that sounded more like a statement if anything.
"Not really." I sighed again, feeling depressed. It was as if the whole world was trying to break me down.
"I will accompany you."
Well if that didn't get my attention, nothing else would. "No!" I took two deep calming breaths. "I mean.. there is things about my home that I would like to keep…" I paused searching for just the right word. "Hidden."
"You fear me going there."
"Well yea! I know that you kill people just for looking at you wrong. Killing where I am from is severely punished with the exception of self defense. Just can't kill someone because your offended." I didn't want to look at him, really I didn't. I couldn't keep myself from staring into his eyes, just to gage his reaction mind you.
I guess he didn't look totally offended, though I couldn't be sure.
"I will only kill in self defense." He said as if it were obvious. Then it clicked, with this curse, why would he waste his precious energy randomly killing people? He wouldn't, it was that simple. But the nagging voice wouldn't go away.
"Trust me you won't have to." I started. "There are no youkai to give you a fair fight, not that you fighting with most youkai would be fair anyway," I complemented quietly. "But killing in self defense only applies to killing someone who is capable and about to kill you. You can't use unnecessary force to incapacitate anyone, it's subject to punishment."
He absorbed my words quickly, but that didn't mean he wasn't upset about it. "So any grievances against my person will go unpunished." I didn't like where this was going.
"I didn't say they go unpunished!" I rushed to say. "Like for example…" I fumbled searching for the right thing to say, boy I was horrible at explaining things. "A Thief! If someone stole something from you, you would kill them right?"
Sesshoumaru just stared. Right.
Well. "Where I'm from, you wouldn't kill them. If you killed them, they would try to punish you. If you didn't kill them, then instead of punishing you, they would punish the thief because he stole." I took a breath. "So while you wouldn't be punishing the thief yourself, he would be punished." Why was this so hard?
Well I waited. And waited. Did Sesshoumaru really need all this time to think about it? For I all knew, he was thinking about dancing monkeys in pink tights, under strobe lights of course. That would be fun to see, as long as they weren't throwing monkey poo. Wait, it would be acceptable only if they were throwing it at Sesshoumaru… because he was taking so long in answering me, the damn bastard.
"I do not wish to engage any humans." He stated.
Wait, does that mean in the language of Sesshoumaru that he won't kill anyone? Or that he just doesn't want to move once we cross the well? Or even that he'll let me go by myself?
"So you're not going?" I could be hopeful.
"I am, I will wait, but I am not patient." Translation, 'We'll go, I'll wait at the well, you do your thing, fast, then we'll come back.'
This made me unbelievably nervous, so I just nodded. I gathered my things and since I was in familiar territory near Inuyasha's forest, I started towards the well.
Inuyasha. The name shot a pang through my chest. I glanced towards Sesshoumaru, and I knew now was not the time to mourn. Though I wasn't sure when the right time was. Inuyasha was alive, but he was dead to me. Inuyasha wanted it that way, and even though I understood his reasoning, I didn't like it.
Let's file those thoughts under, 'Later.' Along with Sango, Shippo, Miroku, Kirara, and Kaede.
Later wasn't coming soon enough.
Also, I was getting stressed because I thought the well was closer than this, thank you uncomfortable silence. This sucked.
When we finally reached the well I breathed in relief. Finally! I turned to Sesshoumaru.
"We jump," I said nervously. "Together."
I climbed up on the lip. I was shocked when Sesshoumaru, without warning, grabbed my upper arm and jumped.
Nothing, we landed on dirt. No blue light, no nothing.
No!
I collapsed to the dirt floor of the well.
No!
I, for the second time in two days, passed out.
I was in my lucid dream state, I now knew what this was.
"Midoriko!" My pain turned to anger.
"I cannot risk letting loose any youkai in your time."
"I need my family!" I screamed as I was swallowed in total blackness.
When I woke, it was to a sunny afternoon sun. Pain filled my chest with pangs, I was suffocating. My family… gone. My friends… gone. I couldn't think straight, I just knew I was alone. I sat rocking myself with my arms around my legs, tears silently streaking down my face. I couldn't even cry right, no sound would come out of my mouth. They're all gone!
Slowly, my pain turned to anger. I smashed my fist to the ground, pain radiated through my arm, distracting me from the pain in my heart. It felt good. I did it again… I seemed to come somewhat to my senses… I held up my hand, and watched with fascination as I felt the shikon pulse and my hand healed. It pissed me off.
"Kagome." My name from those lips. I turned and glared at Sesshoumaru.
"Midoriko won't let me go home." I said out loud, more for my benefit than for Sesshoumaru's. "This damn jewel does nothing but harm. Why did I have to be drug into everything? I've done nothing wrong in my life, I've always tried to be good, to help people. And what do I get? Nothing. Instead I lose everything. Everything!" My voice had risen with every word, by the time I got to the end of my tirade, I was shouting.
I took a breath to continue. "I-"
"Silence." I glared into his piercing eyes as they narrowed. I swallowed, no matter how angry I was, I could not compete with his stare. "I will be back in two hours. Compose yourself." With that, he was gone. I was alone.
I stared at the place he disappeared from, and the feeling of being alone overcame me. The dam holding back my river of pain broke. I sobbed into my hands, wails of pain excaped from my mouth. Thoughts I had pushed back about Inuyasha, my family, and my friends came rushing forward. Each fighting for a place in the spotlight of my mind. It was too much, so I cried. I cried for everyone, and I cried for myself. I wallowed in my self-pity, bringing it out in the open for me to see. There was so much pain, everything I had known had been ripped away from me. I yearned for a life with no Shikon, no responsibilities, no troubles. I pulled out all my grievances and immersed myself in them one by one, shaking on the ground.
Time had no meaning to me as I lost myself in mourning, and my sobs turned to silent tears as my exhaustion rose, but I did not sleep. Instead my thoughts cleared, the pain subsided to a bearable level, and I rose to my feet.
I still hurt, but I was alive, and I had a purpose. That would have to be enough… for now.
I stared in the direction Sesshoumaru disappeared into the forest. What was with him? He should have told me to remove more of his curse. Told me to suck it up or something, but he didn't. Did he leave to get away from me and my emotional state, or did he leave to give me time. Either way, I was grateful. Looking around I knew he also pulled me from the well instead of leaving me in there.
My thoughts jumped to Jaken and Rin. Those two names attached to Sesshoumaru's let me know that he had lost as well. If Sesshoumaru could do it, then so could I.
Yeah not much plot in this one.