Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

When I came back to the realm of the conscious, I was still in Kouga's arms, though my hands had untangled from his.

"What exactly is going on here Kagome?" His stern voice broke me from my sleepy haze. I glanced around quickly, I did not find Sesshoumaru, Tetsusiaga, or any of my other supplies.

"Where's Sesshoumaru? Where's my stuff?" I tried to shove my panic back down.

"He's fine, and your stuff is with him." Kouga bit out and narrowed his eyes. "Now, what's going on?" I wanted to back up, so I did. I slid out of his arms but stayed down at his eye level by keeping on my knees.

I'd never seen Kouga like this, he had matured. His face held sharp clarity that the old Kouga I knew never had.

"The Shikon no Tama is connected to my heart, and Midoriko is releasing the youkai from the jewel. Sesshoumaru was just fighting with one, and you just helped expel one." My quick and simple explanation, I was tired, exhausted, and slightly pissed. He had taken me away without my permission after all.

Kouga's gaze softened, and my slight anger faded away. I just wanted some rest. Some peace and quiet and someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

Kouga reached for me and his voice was hushed. "I can feel your power."

Sesshoumaru's unwanted words decided to push their way to the forefront of my mind… Kouga wanted my power. I jerked away from him, falling back from my knees to my butt, and immediately felt horrible when his face twisted in pain and confusion - it wasn't Kouga's fault that this happened.

"I'm sorry Kouga…" I whispered, quickly thinking of something else to tell him, other than the fact that I didn't trust him around the jewel. I scrambled back onto my knees to reassure him. "It's just that your face… your aura…" I trailed off, and tears threatened to burst out, the pain of it still too fresh. I immediately found myself in Kouga's strong embrace, which I snuggled into gratefully.

"No Kagome, please don't cry! I'm sorry, it's too soon, I know." He pulled away slightly to look me in the eyes. "I just want you to know that I'm going to be here. I can wait… for you." His voice dropped low and husky at the end of his sentence, and I couldn't look away. His aura overwhelmed me, feeling so much like Inuyasha's, I let it overwhelm me.

A flicker of Kouga's eyes brought my attention out of my thoughts and back to him. Did he just look at my lips? The realization caused my heart to start thudding in my chest, and I realized that it was hot… very hot. I was aware of Kouga, aware of his hands around my shoulders, and aware of his dominating aura. There was a strong, gorgeous male body in front of me, and my hormones decided that they would go crazy, flying though my system at sonic speed and leaving my face completely flushed. I wondered where I should put my hands.

He started to lean down towards me before I could make up my mind about placement of my hands. One of his hands curled up from my shoulder, around my neck, and buried itself in my hair. My hands had somehow found it's way to his chest, and I felt his racing heart… he was nervous… and for some reason that put me more at ease.

I couldn't move as his face descended towards mine. Though my brain obviously thought my body was completely overreacting to Kouga, part of it seemed to shrug and say, eh, why not? The other half sensibly telling me that Kouga was invariably the rebound guy and to stop this nonsense. However before I could come up with a solution, his lips brushed mine gently, and the war within my body halted and my eyes closed in satisfaction. Kouga was pleased that I wasn't pushing away, because after a moment, he deepened the kiss. I think I whimpered a bit, and his hand left hand found the bare skin of my back. I gasped at the feeling, and then his tongue took advantage of the situation and dove in. I gave a little moan and my traitorous knees decided to withdraw their support.

I thought I must have been dizzy, because I felt as if I were moving. I opened my eyes slightly and then realized that I was moving. Kouga was lowering me to the ground. That induced a shot of adrenaline to run through my body and dissipate the fog that had numbed my thought-processes.

"Kouga…" I said as I broke away from his lips, I was shocked at my own voice, because it didn't exactly come out as strong as I wanted. Looking back however, my protests never really sounded strong against Kouga because my body had always reacted to him on some level, despite the fact that I never loved him.

With my rapid breathing and my not-quite-so-demanding tone of voice, Kouga must have mistaken my call for him to stop as a breathless moan of his name… which technically that was what it sounded like, because not even a second later Kouga had me completely on the ground. He was lavishing my neck with his tongue, had both of his hands on the bare skin of my waist, and… was he growling? Though it sounded more like a purr.

My mind seemed to want it's vacation time right that second, but somehow ended up staying to work. I pushed weakly at his chest.

"Kouga… stop…" I felt a sharp nip on my neck and then more tongue… he had bit me! If that wasn't a wake up call… "Ow! Kouga!"

He brought his head up and I got a good look at his face, the Inuyasha-like marks on his face had gotten darker, and seemed to have spread. I gasped when I saw him lick his lips… lips that had what looked like a trace amount of blood on them.

My blood!

With the enlightening conversation I just had with Sesshoumaru… seeing my blood on his lips absolutely petrified me.

"Kouga please, you have to stop…" My voice did nothing and his eyes seemed unfocused and hazy. He started to lean back down again. "Kouga please don't!" I pushed on his chest, panic flooding my senses, I tried to squirm out from under him, but his youki swelled. He didn't move any closer to my neck, but he started growling.

Then I felt Sesshoumaru's youki flare, Sesshoumaru was there, watching.

I pushed even harder against Kouga. "Kouga stop… please… get off of me, you're scaring me…" Somehow the thought of Sesshoumaru seeing me like this gave me a sense of shame, like I had done something wrong. What would he think?

Kouga sat back up over me and his eyes seemed to clear, and then widen in shock. "Kagome…" Then he pushed up and rolled off of me. His youki receded with amazing speed.

I sat up quickly and realized I was shaking, but I couldn't stop…

"Leave." Sesshoumaru's voice sliced through the air.

Kouga was breathing hard, and just looked at me with haunted, apologetic eyes. He completely ignored Sesshoumaru. "Kagome… I hurt you…"

The pain in his voice was too much to bear and I turned my eyes away. "Just give me some time Kouga, before I see you again." I wanted to whoop and jump at how strong my voice sounded.

He nodded his assent, "I'm sorry Kagome." And was quickly gone.

I brought my hand to my neck where he had bitten me, it wasn't serious. It was just enough to scare me into reality. I turned to Sesshoumaru.

"You were right." I told him in a dead voice, and he just stared… the jackass. I sighed again and was glad I had finally stopped shaking. "Kouga can't fully control the youki he has."

That, however, got an immediate reaction.

"His body is not made to withstand the pure youki of my father, just as Inuyasha could not." Sesshoumaru stated almost venomously, and kept his attentive eyes upon me.

Tetsusiaga. That was why Inuyasha needed Tetsusiaga. Did that mean it was meant for Kouga now? To help him?

"My things, where are my things?" I asked, finding myself once again using as little words as I could with him.

He turned and walked away. He was even less talkative than ever, which irked me to no end. I needed company, I needed mindless conversations to fill my time, I needed to get away from him. With a sigh, I caught up to him, pulling up alongside. Which still brought a bout of nervousness that I could not fight back. Why? He would not kill me, I knew, so one conclusion fed my brain, I cared what he thought about me.

Great, I cared about what a cold, psychopathic killer thought about me. Just great.

, I cared about what a cold, psychopathic killer thought about me. Just .

"Did you kill the youkai?" I asked quietly, switching my train of thought.

"No. Merely incapacitated him."

Oh. Well. "How far exactly did Kouga take me?" Instantly nervous about bringing Kouga up again, I tried to squish that thought under my metaphorical foot. I imagined a giant spider splattering under my well-timed designer shoe. Gods how I hated spiders, and oh how I wished I had designer shoes.

Designer shoes with a matching outfit.. No.. a low cut dress, six inch heels, and a push up bra.

Going commando. I'd always wanted to try going commando with a short dress. I'd feel so hot, so-

"Too far." Sesshoumaru's words interrupted my daydreaming. Once again, I wondered to myself if I had Attention Deficit Disorder or something along those lines. I couldn't focus, and that was very bad, considering what all was going on. I could die, Kouga had just kissed me, I even had youkai coming out of me, and all I could think about was going commando in a short, low-cut dress.

A red dress, a blood-red dress…

"What direction are all the youkai going?" I interrupted my own thoughts, thoughts that needed to go. Those youkai leaving, maybe… there was a pattern in direction.

"We will be going north." He said as if he'd already thought that. He probably had. Once again, that jackass.

"Sesshoumaru, how?" I fumbled slightly. "I mean, I can't travel and work at the same time… well I guess I could… but it would take longer." He didn't say anything, so I continued blindly. "We could split up days, traveling half the day and then me working on you the other half…" I stopped talking, suddenly feeling very tired. When had the day caught up so fast?

"You will rest when you reach your supplies."

I replied immediately without thinking. "Thank you." Then paused, was he tired too?

"Are you okay?" I asked, clearly concerned. He had fought with the youkai.

He actually seemed to falter a bit, but that could have been my imagination. "I am fine."

We were silent until we reached my pack, mainly because I could think of nothing to say and Sesshoumaru hadn't really started a conversation based on nothing before. As I pulled out some of my meager food rations, I noticed my hands had stopped shaking. Good. Though I didn't even want to think about that part of all the issues I was having with this era. My sex-slash-love life should be on the bottom of my priority list. Though I wasn't sure what should be at the top. Sesshoumaru and his curse, or the Jewel and the youkai inside.

How many had been released? Three?

How many were left? Not many.

After this was all over, where did that leave me? Nowhere.

I would have absolutely nothing. The well didn't work, my family was out of my reach. Inuyasha was gone to me. Sango and Miroku were gone. Shippou…

Shippou!

"Sesshoumaru!" I turned to him quickly, not caring that I had just taken a bite of food when I had my epiphany. I swallowed. "Would you happen to know what happened to the little kitsune that I traveled with?"

"No." Sesshoumaru said, and my thoughts shot to an all new low.

I took another bite as tears threatened to fall again. I didn't want to fight the tears, but I was afraid of Sesshoumaru and what he might say. I knew I was in a funk, but I couldn't shake myself of it. Depression was hovering about me like a vulture, waiting for just the right moment to strike. Knowing it and preventing it were two totally separate things.

I liked it better when I was thinking about going commando, because then it was as if my mind was preventing me from thinking about certain things. Well it wasn't doing it's job now. The knowledge that I had lost everything I held dear clutched my heart and wouldn't let go.

What happened? After I had bawled like a baby at the well I had felt great. Like I could conquer anything. I didn't feel that way anymore. I felt weak, abandoned, and lonely. I had a purpose, sure, but I was sick and tired of playing the 'let's ruin Kagome's life' game.

I had to come to terms with everything. I had to do something… but what?

My eyes grew heavy. Maybe thinking should be reserved for later, my body wasn't cooperating. The day caught me in one fell swoop. I was exhausted.

I maneuvered my hopefully temporary bedding without a word to Sesshoumaru. He didn't seem to care from his position against a tree, all the better. I wouldn't be able to find the energy for an argument.

As I curled up to sleep, I knew, that if Shippou was still alive. I would find him. That I would make my true purpose here, to find my Shippou.

A/N Yay for whirlwind emotions! Now I know it's been a while, but my other story 'What am I?' has over twice the popularity as this one. So this story comes second. Never knew so many people loved MirokuKagome stories so much. Alternate pairings are so fun!

As always, two kids, a husband, and college get in the way of writing a story. They also make it hard to go back over a chapter once it's written.

Peace out Girl Scout.