Disclaimer: I own seasons 1-5 of Charmed, a triqueta necklace and jewelry box, and my own imagination. That is all.
Hi guys. Sorry that this update, and an update crucial to the story, no less, has been so long in coming. Unfortunately, my own Grams died shortly after I recovered from the flu, and the ensuing chaos that followed prevented me from even finishing this chapter until two days ago. I'm sorry that I'm not thanking anyone by name in this chapter, but I have a lot of stuff to get done still. Do know that I love and appreciate you all, and that your support throughout the developement of this story has been nothing short of magical. So, without further ado...
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Surviving, Always
(The NYC lair, Phoebe and Ezekiel. Phoebe takes a final swing w/ her sword; Ezekiel's head falls to the ground. Panting, Phoebe drops the sword and steps back. Behind her, AU Paige orbs in, w/ Warren, who is crying. Phoebe turns and rushes to them)
Phoebe: Warren! (She grabs the baby from Paige and hugs him tightly, covers his little face in kisses. Warren immeadiately stops crying)
AU Paige: (puts a comforting arm around Phoebe's shoulders) Let's get out of here. (They orb out)
(Cole and Phoebe's house, the bedroom. Paige orbs them in)
Phoebe: (sniffling, allows AU Paige lead her to the bed) Wh…where did you find him?
AU Paige: (gently makes Phoebe sit) He was in some creepy nursery thingy a few floors up. Some lower level demons were guarding him, but they weren't hard to take. (Looks Phoebe over) You're crying. Are you hurt? Do you need me to heal you?
Phoebe: (shaky smile) No, I'm fine. (She wipes away a tear) Just happy that my baby's safe. (She hugs Warren) But Cole…I need to find him—
AU Paige: (soothing) It's okay; I'll find him (she starts to orb out)
Phoebe: Wait. Paige!
AU Paige: (reforms) Yeah?
Phoebe: How's Piper? And Leo?
AU Paige: They're great, Phoebs.
Phoebe: And you? You're okay? You're happy?
AU Paige: (puzzled by Phoebe's question) Of course.
Phoebe: (relaxes) Good. (At Paige's look) Oh, I don't know where that came from. I just had to make sure everything is good.
AU Paige: (smiles) It is good. (She watches Phoebe cuddle her son for a moment, then orbs out)
(Abrupt change of scene. The attic. Coop sits on the floor by unconscious Phoebe; he gazes at her longingly as he absentmindedly bounces Melinda. Cole lies a few feet away, in the same state as Phoebe. Piper and Leo are on the couch; Piper holding the book on her lap and resting her head on Leo's shoulder. Henry is pacing in front of the attic door. Paige runs in, excited, waving a pregnancy test in the air.)
Paige: It's positive! I'm pregnant! The natural and supernatural have confirmed it! (She throws her arms around Henry's neck, he twirls her around)
Piper: (genuine smile) I'm so happy for you, Paige.
Paige: (beaming) Thanks. (Her face falls a little when she catches sight of Phoebe) I just hope that he gets to her soon. Brings her back.
(Scene change. AU Cole is lying on the ground, in the snow. Real Cole pops into the scene; he spots his counterparts body, and warily nudges it with his foot. Real Cole is sucked into AU Cole's body; he sits up, looks around, confused)
AU Paige's Voice: (unenthusiastic) Great. You're still alive.
(Cole turns his head; AU Paige is standing behind him, arms crossed)
AU Paige: C'mon. I told Phoebe I'd bring you back. (She offers her hand, helps him up.) Geez. It's freezing. Why couldn't you have gotten blasted to Tahiti or someplace warm?
Cole: (trying to get his bearings) Um…blasted?
AU Paige: Yeah. The fireball.
Cole: What fireball?
AU Paige: You know, the fireball that hit you.
Cole: (attempting to play along) Right. The fireball. Ya know, it's all kind of fuzzy, could you give me a recap of what happened?
AU Paige: (as if speaking to a five year old) Ezekiel, the warlock I warned you about, sent a darklighter to kidnap me, then he broke through the crystal cage around your house after Phoebe left for work. He took Warren, and hit you with a fireball.
Cole: (slowly) He hit me with a fireball…why wasn't I hurt?
AU Paige: (scoffs) Hurt? Now that you're mortal, it should have killed you. That's why Phoebe made me hunt down that amulet for you. (She points to the pendant around his neck) It converts killing power to transportation power. But you already know all this. (She looks him over) Did you hit your head or something? Do I need to heal you?
Cole: No…I'm fine. Just a little disoriented. Can I just go to Phoebe now?
Paige: Sure. (She touches his arm, orbs them out)
(Living room of Phoebe and Cole's house. AU Paige and Cole reform. Paige lets go of his arm; a whitelighter jingle is heard)
AU Paige: (looks up, exasperated) something in German I'll be right there! (To Cole) One of my charges. I have to go.
Cole: Okay. (He's taking in the house)
AU Paige: (turns to go, stops) Cole?
Cole: Yeah?
AU Paige: (hesitates, sighs and looks down, defeated) You're a good husband and father. I'm glad you're not dead.
Cole: (taken aback, but touched) Thanks.
(AU Paige gives a halfhearted smile, orbs out)
(After she leaves, Cole looks around the room, wanders over to the fireplace. A picture of him, Phoebe and Warren sits in the center of the mantelpiece. He picks it up and stares at it, a slow smile spreading across his face. He looks up and sees another picture, this one of pregnant Phoebe and Cole standing in front of a house with a "Sold" sign. A wedding picture is next to it, and one of Phoebe and Piper and Paige next to that. He looks at them for a moment, when a mechanical noise from the next room snaps him out of his reverie. He puts the pictures back and walks out of the room. Cut to a messy kitchen. Cole walks in, searching for the noise. It comes from a fax machine set up next to the microwave. Cole picks up one of the papers, which has the name of law firm on it, and reads:
Attn: Cole Turner
Sub: Case Files
Note: Please look these over! Your input is invaluable to our firm.
Cole puts down the paper, and walks over to the fridge, where there is a large dry erase board filled w/ notes:
War – Dr. appointment Tues. 9 am
Dinner w/ Deans Saturday – bring Brie
Email new Warren pics to Piper and Leo!
After reading the last note, Cole looks over on the counter; next to a colorful baby toy, a package of pictures is resting underneath a picture cd. Cole pushes the cd to the side and flips through the pictures: Cole holding Warren, Phoebe holding Warren, Warren by himself, etc. Eventually he stops on one; it's crooked and out of focus, obviously a self-portrait – of Cole and Phoebe kissing. He bites his lip, puts the pictures down, and starts to back away when a static sound from the sink is heard. He looks over; it's a baby monitor, and Phoebe's voice is heard murmuring softly to Warren.)
Cole: (whispers) Phoebe…(he strides out of the kitchen, into the hall, up a staircase. Camera to a long hallway. Cole walks down it, looking from room to room. At the end of the hallway a door is partially closed. A baby's cry comes from behind it. Cole goes to the door, and peeks in on his Phoebe and Warren)
(Phoebe is standing over by the cradle, Warren in her arms. He's antsy, and she's trying to calm him.)
Phoebe: (soothing) Oh sweetie! Don't cry! Everything's going to be just fine, my little Warren. Hey, how abouts Mommy tells you the story of how you got your name? That's good; we'll talk about that until Daddy gets home. (Cole, who had been about to enter, stops to listen. Phoebe continues) Well, when you were still a tiny, tiny baby inside of mommy's tummy, your daddy and I decided to name you Benjamin Parker Halliwell Turner. Parker Halliwell for Mommy's side of the family, and Benjamin for your daddy's daddy – your grandpa. Then, the day you were born, your daddy held you for the first time. He looked at you, and looked at me, and said, "Ben isn't the right name for him. Now, Mommy was very tired after her thirty-nine hour labor, but she managed to say "Why the hell not?" very nicely. Then your daddy said that Ben was a nice name, but you needed a name that reflected just how truly magical you were. So we named you Warren, after your great great great something grandmother, Melinda Warren; she was the beginning of the Charmed line, the founder of that amazing force of good that runs in your veins. (Warren's quiet now. She kisses his hand) So that's how your name got rearranged to Warren Parker Benjamin Turner. Your Aunt Piper says it's too big of a name for such a little guy. Your Uncle Leo says you'll grow into it. I say it shows how big our love is for you…
(Cole inadvertently leans against the door, making it squeak on the hinges. Phoebe whirls around. Cole lets the door open the rest of the way. Relief fills Phoebe's face.)
Phoebe: Cole. (She quickly sets Warren in the cradle, starts to walk, then breaks into a run, ready to hug Cole)
Cole: (unsure of what to do) Phoebe—
(Phoebe reaches him, silences him by throwing her arms around his neck and planting an impassioned kiss on his lips. Shocked, Cole clumsily tries to ease her away. She simply kisses him harder. Cole can't help it—he succumbs and hungrily kisses her back. After a minute Phoebe breaks away and whispers in his ear)
Phoebe: (stokes his hair as Cole kisses her neck) You're safe…oh god, I'm so glad you're safe.
Cole: (completely caught in the moment) I love you…
Phoebe: And I love you too. (She kisses him again)
(At Phoebe's words Cole seems to wake up. He stops kissing her, but still holds on to her)
Cole: Phoebe…we…stop. We have to stop.
Phoebe: Cole, I don't care anymore…screw doctors orders. (She kisses him. Cole pushers her away)
Cole: Phoebe, stop. It's-
Phoebe: (thinks of something, steps back) Right! I'm so sorry. (She laughs)
Cole: What's so…why are you laughing?
Phoebe: Warren! You must have been worried sick. (She takes his hand and leads him to the cradle. She gazes lovingly at the baby.) See, he's fine; no harm done. (She looks up at Cole encouragingly) Go on. Hold him.
(As if in a spell, Cole stars to take Warren when a pained look crosses his face, and he draws back his hands)
Cole: No. (To Phoebe) Phoebe, we need to talk.
Phoebe: (concerned) Baby, what's the matter? (She sits on the bed)
Cole: (sighs, sits next to her) Phoebe… (He glances at her, tries not to melt) I don't know how to say this…
Phoebe: Say what, honey? (She lays her hand on his. Cole pulls away like he's been burned and stands up) Cole…
Cole: (mutters) This isn't real.
Phoebe: What do you mean? What's not real?
Cole: (upset) All of this! This house, this life, us… (He looks into her eyes) Our son.
Phoebe: (stiffens) Cole, you're scaring me. (She goes and stands protectively in front of the baby)
Cole: Phoebe, stop it.
Phoebe: (getting angry) No! You stop it! (Lowers her voice) Look, something's wrong with you. Just go lie down so I can call Paige and fix it.
Cole: (frustrated) Phoebe… (He stops, changes tactics. He walks slowly up to Phoebe, studies the baby thoughtfully) He's beautiful. Looks like his mom.
Phoebe: (relaxes a little) Yeah, but he has your eyes.
Cole: True, but that nose…he even has the same nose as Melinda.
Phoebe: (her eyes widen for a moment) What? (She looks at the baby, then back at Cole) No, not really. I mean, I've met Melinda Warren, and their noses aren't all that similar.
Cole: Not Melinda Warren. Melinda Warren's namesake—your daughter.
Phoebe: Um, Cole, sweetie, we don't have a daughter.
Cole: We don't. But you do.
Phoebe: (uneasy) No I don't.
Cole: Yes you do. With Coop.
(A strange look crosses Phoebe's face, then passes)
Phoebe: Coop? I don't now anyone named Coop, much less have a daughter with said ridiculously named person.
Cole: (brightens for a moment) Yeah, it is a ridiculous name. Short for cupid.
Phoebe: Cupid? Oh honey. (She takes Cole's face in her hands) I met Cupid once, a long time ago. As in Piper was still with Dan long time ago. Before we even met long time ago. (Smiles) Besides, he just helped me open my heart to love. I didn't fall in love with him. (Stands on her tiptoes) And we definitely didn't have a daughter. (She kisses him)
Cole: (pulls away, in agony) Phoebe, please.
Phoebe: No! Hush. No "Phoebe Pleases." (She takes his hands and holds them to her heart.) Ezekiel hit you with a fireball, and you got confused. (Smiles coyly up at him) Nothing a little long overdue time together won't fix.
Cole: (pleading) Phoebe…
(Phoebe pushes him backwards; he loses his balance and falls over on the bed. Phoebe is next to him in an instant, kissing him and stroking his face. Cole is undone. He wraps Phoebe in his arms and pulls her close, returning the embrace in full. A sigh of pleasure escapes Phoebe's lips, and the two start to lose themselves in the moment)
(Things are becoming quite heated when Warren starts crying. Phoebe groans and buries her head in Cole's neck. Cole snaps out of his trance, and lays on the bed, stunned)
Phoebe: Uhh…not right now! (Warren keeps crying) Fine, fine, Mommy's coming. (She gives Cole a quick kiss on the lips and starts to get up)
(Cole takes a deep breath, grabs her arm. Phoebe smiles and cuddles against him for a moment.)
Phoebe: Hold on, babe. I'll be back just as soon as I calm the little guy down.
(She starts get up again. Cole doesn't let go.)
Cole: Phoebe, listen to me. He's not the one who needs you.
Phoebe: Cole, he's crying. Of course he needs me.
Cole: (gently brushes a strand of hair from her face) No. Melinda is the one that needs you.
(Phoebe flinches, an uneasy look settling on her face)
Phoebe: Would you stop saying that name? It makes me feel strange. (She tugs at his grip)
Cole: (not letting go) Melinda.
Phoebe: (frustrated, tries to free her arm) Cole—
Cole: Melinda.
Phoebe: (struggling) Let go of me…
Cole: Melinda Love Halliwell.
(Phoebe goes limp, causing Cole's grip to slacken. Before he can adjust his hold she pushes him away. He recovers quickly, however, and grabs her around the waist and lifts her off the ground)
Phoebe: (kicking and near hysterical) Put me down!
Cole: (voice stronger) Melinda
Phoebe: Stop saying that name!
Cole: (louder) Melinda
Phoebe: (frantically trying to escape) Stop it!
Cole: (shouting) Melinda!
Phoebe: (screams) NOOOOO!
(She tears herself away from Cole and stumbles a few feet away, one hand on her heart, another at her temple)
Phoebe: (in pain, barely able to speak) No…I…I… (She screams; a weird glow starts to radiate from her. Phantom Phoebe is wrenched out of real Phoebe. The separation sends real Phoebe to her knees. Phantom Phoebe hovers in the air. The Phoebes look at each other for a moment before Phantom Phoebe turns and addresses the fussing baby.)
Phantom Phoebe: (woefully) Well, I tried, darlin'. (To Cole) My love. (She looks back at real Phoebe, then fades away.)
(Real Phoebe lets out a cry and crumples to the ground, sobbing. Cole goes to her and cradles her in his arms.)
Cole: Shh…it's okay.
Phoebe: (through tears) H-h-h-how? Wha-a-t's h-happening? I'm..I'm so m-mixed up! My-my h-head is p-pounding, m-my heart i-is r-racing…
(Cole kisses the top of her head, starts rocking her back and forth)
Cole: (soothing) It's okay.
Phoebe: S-so m-many th-th-things ar-are going th-through my head, I-I don't kn-know what's g-going o-on…
Cole: (stoking her hair) Just breathe, baby. Calm down.
Phoebe: I-I'm try-trying but I c-can't—
Cole: (reassuring) Yes you can. You're strong. Just take a deep breath. We'll do it together, okay?
Phoebe: k-kay.
Cole: Thatta girl. All right, on the count of three. One, two, three, deep breath!
(They each inhale deeply. After a couple of moment Phoebe's shuddering lessen, and she is able to breathe relatively normally)
Phoebe: (small voice, still huddled against Cole) I feel a little better.
Cole: Good. (A pained look crosses his face, he forces himself to speak.) Now just let everything come to you. Focus.
Phoebe: But—
Cole: No buts. I'm right here with you.
(Phoebe bites her lip, takes another breath, and closes her eyes. Cole furiously blinks back tears)
Cole: (whispers) Melinda.
(At the sound of Melinda's name Phoebe's eyes snap open) She jumps away from Cole, who hastily wipes his eyes.)
Phoebe: (distraught) Oh my God. Melinda. Coop. Melinda. My baby girl…I left my baby…I left my husband… (She looks over to the cradle at Warren, who is still agitated) for him. (Phoebe rushes over to the crib and scoops up the baby) For my son. (To Cole) And for you. (Dazed, she sits down in the rocking chair by the crib, absentmindedly kisses a now content Warren on the forehead)
(Cole sighs, goes and kneels by the chair.)
Phoebe: (trying not to cry) My Melinda…my baby girl…
Cole: (softly) You have to go back to them.
Phoebe: (choked up, shakes head sadly) I can't. I have to stay here.
Cole: Phoebe, "here" isn't real—
Phoebe: (consoling herself) Melinda is safe. Piper and Paige will take good care of her. So will Coop.
Cole: She needs her mother—
Phoebe: Warren needs me more! (She looks down at the baby in her arms) He needs me to protect him. I'm his mother; it's my job.
Cole: Phoebe, Warren is not real.
Phoebe: (not listening) I won't let you down again. (To Cole) Either of you. (She reaches out and runs her finger down Cole's cheek before pressing her palm to the side of his face.)
(Cole slowly turns his head and gently kisses her hand before taking it in his.)
Cole: (quietly) You blame yourself for what happened to our baby.
Phoebe: (angry at self) I let her manipulate me…I let the Seer lead me away from what I believed in – I let my selfish desires control me, let my will be weak…and I couldn't see clearly because of it. I blinded myself to the truth and I lost my family because I didn't fight until it was to late. (She sobs)
Cole: (grips her arms) Phoebe, listen to me. It wasn't your fault.
Phoebe: But if I hadn't stopped you from giving the wizard the Source –
Cole: Hey. You were under an incredible amount of stress, and evil was closing in on you from every side. (Straight into her eyes) You only did what you thought was best for your baby – keeping his family together. It might not have been the right decision under the circumstances, but your intentions were good.
Phoebe: (bitterly) Yeah. And all those good intentions just paved us our own personal road to hell.
Cole: (ruefully) True…but bad intention's wouldn't have gotten us to heaven, either.
(Silence for a long moment before Phoebe speaks)
Phoebe: (eyes fixed on Warren) I look at him….I hold him, feel him. (Quick, almost shy glance at Cole) Feel you…it all seems so solid. So real.
Cole: (matter-of-fact) But it isn't.
Phoebe: (tearing up again) But I want it to be. (To Cole, hopeful, pleading) Why can't it be real if we both want it to be?
Cole: (gently chiding) You, of all people, Phoebe, know the answer to that question.
Phoebe: (hangs head) "It just doesn't work that way. (She sniffs, hastily wipes her eyes) Yeah. I know it doesn't. Known it for a long time, learned it the hard way a thousand times over. I've preached it to you, no less, for cripes sake. (She hugs the baby closer) But if I know it so well… (To Cole) Then why is this even happening? Why are we here?
Cole: You're subconscious has been overloaded with hormones and you're projecting a way to alleviate the guilt you feel from the past –
Phoebe: Well, yeah, obviously I feel guilty. But I also feel guilty about leaving my daughter and husband and sisters and nephews (Cole starts; Phoebe doesn't notice and continues talking) and the rest of my family but I'm not subconsciously living in a fake world with them, I'm here so it's not just plain guilt it's something else and –
Cole: Wyatt.
Phoebe: Wyatt? What's he got to do with this?
Cole: (figuring it out) Everything. (Leans forward) After the Seer took our baby I came back.
Phoebe: And that relates to Wyatt how?
Cole: I'm getting to that. After I came back you directed all of your hate, all of your anger, onto me. When you finally vanquished me, you closed a chapter in your life, and were able to let go of your anger.
Phoebe: Still not following.
Cole: Shortly after I'm vanquished, Piper has her baby. Wyatt. Not the niece you were expecting. A little boy, like the one you had lost less than a year earlier.
(He pauses. Phoebe doesn't say anything. He continues)
Cole: When Wyatt was born you became an obsessively doting aunt – and until you realized that you were intruding on Piper's role, you mothered him. (Intently to Phoebe) Now, you're the one with the degree in psychology. You tell me what's been going on.
Phoebe: (softly) Transference.
Cole: Bingo. All of you anger;
Phoebe: I put on you.
Cole: And all of the love you had for our son;
Phoebe: I gave to Wyatt.
Cole: You settled for being an aunt; not long after, you became an empath. You were so busy soaking up other people's emotions –
Phoebe: I let some of my own get lost in the crowd.
Cole: And in the process of learning to control your new powers and getting a happy family, you never let yourself truly grieve for the one you lost. (Phoebe is silent. Cole laces his fingers through hers, squeezes her hand) It's okay to admit it.
Phoebe: I…
Cole: You're not betraying anyone by saying it.
Phoebe: (faltering, barely audible) I wish…I wish I hadn't lost you. Us. The three of us. I love my new life, my husband, my daughter…but I wasn't okay…I'm not okay, with how we ended. (Voice stronger) I don't care if it wasn't meant to be, if it was destiny, fate, whatever. It sucks. And it hurt…it hurts because it was wonderful and mine and now it's not and I'll never have it back! (She breaks into tears. Cole puts his arms around her, and Phoebe hangs onto him with one arm while hugging the baby with the other, burying her face in his neck.)
(A shining light appears in the air; it stretches and grows to become a portal like the one Phoebe used earlier – only this one is a window back to the real world, showing Coop kneeling by Phoebe's body with baby Melinda.)
(Cole sees the portal before Phoebe does. He reluctantly pulls away from her, and sets a soft kiss on her forehead before drying her tears)
Cole: Phoebe… (Phoebe looks up, Cole indicates the portal) It's time to go.
(Phoebe looks over at the portal, and nods. Swallowing bravely, she hugs Warren to her, savoring the moment. She starts to give him to Cole, then freezes.)
Cole: (kindly) You're letting us go, Phoebe; not our love, the love you have for our son. It may change, but it'll never die. It can't. (He fingers a strand of her hair) That love's surviving, always.
(Phoebe hugs Cole tightly. She kisses Warren one last time, and carefully placing him in Cole's arms, she stands, begins walking to the portal.)
(As Phoebe's getting to her feet, Cole looks down at his son. Warren's big gray eyes stare straight into Cole's. The baby smiles and waves his arms. Enchanted, Cole lays a hand on his little tummy. Warren giggles and kicks his feet. Cole holds him closer.)
(Phoebe, who's now standing in front of the portal, turns)
Phoebe: Cole?
(Cole tears his eyes away from Warren, looks up at Phoebe)
Phoebe: Thank you.
Cole: (gruff nod) You're welcome.
Phoebe: (one last tear runs down her cheek, she smiles sadly) Goodbye.
Cole: (quiet) 'Bye.
(Phoebe turns and steps into the portal. Cole looks down at Warren. The baby starts to glow, and Cole and the surrounding room disappear in a bright white light)
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I know, I know. Cliffhangers are evil. I promise I'll do my best not to make you wait so long for the next installment. Thanks, and Blessed Be.