Disclaimer: "There's no sense in complaining It doesn't change your mind Take me by the hand Let's compromise"

(An: Basically, this picks up after Aang wanders off and gives us the lowdown on why Mai and Zuko were all hot and heavy… It actually is silly before dissolving into angst! Huzzah! Assuming that they actually have whiskey in the Avatarverse... There is some implied femmeslash in this part, so, um… yeah. It's only in one section, and there's no actual… stuff.)

"What was that all about?" Zuko asked, cocking his head. Mai just rolled her eyes.

Toph shrugged. "Eh, Twinkletoes has his tail in a twist over something. No big deal." She reached for a glass of wine, but Zuko slapped her hand away. She glared in his general direction. "Why," she asked, in a tone that most of her friends would take as an excuse to run far, far away, "would you think that was a good idea, Lord Zuko?"

"Lady Bei Fong," said Zuko, in a similar tone, "would you like to remember your honeymoon?"

Toph paused, sighing. "Good point." She crossed her arms. "But I'm thirsty."

"So have some water. It's bad enough you got drunk at my wedding."

"Are you still upset over that?" Sokka asked, breezing over. He rolled his eyes and slipped an arm around Toph's shoulders.

"You tied Mai to the bed! I still have the scar."

"Where?" asked Sokka, cocking his head.

Mai smirked, pouring herself some tea. Zuko went red and mumbled something about masochism. "It's not in somewhere I generally display to the public, ok?" he finally said.

Toph and Sokka started snickering.

"I don't know why I came," sighed Zuko. "I hate you both."

"Of course you do," said Mai, patting his arm.

O-o-O-o-O

It had taken a long time for them to get to that easy, jokey point. After the disastrous events at Ba Sing Se, nothing seemed like it was going to go right for the group, ever.

And then everything did.

In an attempt to break Iroh out of the prisons in the palace, Katara had come across Zuko. Somehow, after a fight that reportedly destroyed half the jail and then some, Zuko and Katara "settled their differences" (how, either refused to say), and Iroh agreed to teach Aang firebending.

Toph was the most willing to accept the firebenders. She was already friends with Iroh, and while Zuko's angst annoyed her, his tenacity and total lack of curiousity or a sense of humor impressed her. As she put it, "A guy's got to be really strong or really stupid to be that stubborn." She never elaborated on which one she thought was more likely, though.

Aang was perfectly fine with Iroh, but he had issues with Zuko. Not just because all of his previous efforts to make friends had been spurned, but also because of the looks he and Katara had been shooting each other. The kind that deserved a capital L.

Sokka wanted to murder both of them. Iroh he could tolerate, but he couldn't spend five minutes with Zuko without some kind of fight. They were both hotheaded, of course… and Sokka, like Aang, was extremely suspicious of the way Katara and Zuko looked at each other.

But eventually, somehow, through shared strangeness and pain, they became friends. If they had drifted apart over the years- after all, they all had obligations that took them far away- they remained close. Mostly, anyway.

O-o-O-o-O

"I'm bored," said Toph, snapping Zuko out of his memory.

"Why are you talking to me?" Zuko asked. "Ask your husband."

"Can't. Ty Lee's dancing with him… or something."

"I think it's an 'or something'," Zuko agreed, cocking his head. "Mai, what on earth is she doing to him?"

"She's trying to teach him yoga," Mai said, sipping her tea. "She thinks he needs to relax. Better watch out, Zuzu, or she'll come after you next."

"What is in that tea?"

"Just a healthy shot of whiskey," Toph admitted.

"How much is healthy?"

Toph shrugged. "I don't know, I didn't make it."

Zuko looked at his wife and sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't make any difference if I told you to stop drinking that."

Mai shook her head. "Nope."

"Even if I remind you that you have the tolerance for alcohol of a snow lemming?"

Mai nodded with a small smile that was as close to a grin as she got.

Zuko sighed and rolled his eyes. He had been married to the woman for two years. He knew by now that she would do what she wanted.

O-o-O-o-O

It had never been in Zuko's plans to marry Mai.

When he was younger, he had never thought he would marry at all. He was too klutzy with girls. Vaguely, he had known that as the Fire Lord, he would be obligated to produce an heir, but at nine, that didn't seem very close. Neither did it at twelve, or even at fourteen.

And then, when he was banished… well, there's your answer. Who on earth would be daft enough to want to marry a banished prince? He was honorless, so loveless went hand-in-hand with that.

Nothing changed when he was wandering around the Earth Kingdom with Iroh. Jin didn't count, since everyone in Ba Sing Se was clearly quite insane. Especially his sister and her friends.

He knew Mai was crazy; after all, she made it a point to be buddy buddy with Azula. She put status and power above everything else in her crazy little games. She could be as ruthless as Azula.

And for some reason, he still let her kiss him.

Granted, Zuko's brain tended to shut down when he was kissed- well, he'd only been kissed once before, but it had happened then, and it happened again when Mai did it- but he usually snapped out of it after the first few seconds.

He didn't push her away or step back, though; he allowed her to do it, even kissed back a little bit, for an experiment. It was mostly compassion- he could taste need on her lips, not just for him but for reassurance, understanding, a kind word from someone who knew the ways of the world as well as she did.

Still, even then, he didn't think of marriage, although he had always known his mother had had the governor's daughter in mind for his future wife. Mostly because he knew she wasn't thinking of it either. Mai wasn't given to fantasy or romance; on the rare ocassion that something made her truly feel, she acted on it. She was rather like him in that regard. So he wasn't surprised when she simply let go of him and walked away, going back to speaking to him only when forced by Azula, and even less so when she caught him alone and did it again.

He had simply never thought himself the type for commitment. He could barely get along with his uncle, and Iroh had more patience than most saints.

And then he met Katara.

Well, not met, really; they had faced each other on opposite sides of a battlefield often enough, and there was that whole affair with the necklace. But when she got him to leave Ba Sing Se, he actually got to know her. Grudgingly and with open hostility on both sides, yes, but the time spent together in the cave had changed things between them, and the trip to the Eastern Air Temple where the rest of her friends were cemented it, made them… friends?

That wasn't exactly the right word, since Zuko had never had a friend that he wanted to slam against the wall and kiss senseless so she would finally shut up, but it was about as close as it came. He hadn't thought they would ever be lovers. Close, yes, but there was a line there that wouldn't be safe to cross- he knew the Avatar was also in love with her, and frankly, Aang was a much better choice. Sweeter. Less likely to make her cry.

He figured Katara had thought his self-esteem issues were the main reason he hadn't done anything about his feelings, which explained why she kissed him with so little preamble. Some part of him was aware that their relationship would be a setback in his status in the group, but he didn't care. As usual, he wasn't worried about the consequences of his actions. He was a teenager, truly in love for the first time in his life, and nothing else mattered but the girl in his arms. Zuko had never been one to worry about consequences, anyway.

He had done his best to love her and be true, but he still never thought of marriage. Other things had started to matter before he could. His people, for one thing. Four years after the fall of Fire Lord Ozai, Fire Lord Iroh passed away peacefully in his sleep, leaving Zuko as the only heir. He didn't want it, but Zuko was not one to shirk his duty. He would do his best by his people… even though it meant he would have to give up the one he held most dear.

So he had asked for Mai's hand. Later, during the first dance of their wedding, he would see that look in her eyes a second time: a kind of pleading sadness, trust that couldn't quite flower. "You're in love with Katara," she whispered, hugging herself and refusing to meet his gaze.

Zuko made no attempt to deny it. Rather, he tilted her face toward his. "There's nothing I can do about that. I'm asking you because I know you can help me, Mai, and because I know I can love you."

Mai's eyes flicked to his for a moment before she sighed and nodded, and for once, Zuko was the kisser, not the person being kissed.

It had never been in his plans to marry Mai, but neither had so many things that had changed his life, and for once, he didn't have to wonder if he had made the right decision.

O-o-O-o-O

Someone elbowed Zuko in the ribs, again knocking him from his thoughts. It wasn't surprising he was so introspective tonight, considering that he was at Katara's brother's wedding. Still, Mai didn't look pleased. "Thinking hard, or are you just constipated?" she asked.

"How much of that tea have you had?" Zuko replied, with a slight frown.

Mai shrugged.

"Several cups, from the sound of it," Toph replied.

"And you're still conscious," Zuko muttered. "Will wonders never cease."

"It's not that much whiskey."

Zuko looked at the earthbender suspiciously. "You haven't been at it, have you?"

Toph and Sokka snapped to attention and flipped him salutes. "No, sir, Lord Zuko, sir!" cried both of them in unison.

Zuko grimaced. "Agni, you guys are going to have no friends. You'll be too busy making jokes at their expense."

"No, see, that's why Toph agreed to marry me in the first place," said Sokka. "She wanted someone she could kick around who couldn't complain about it."

"But you'll go right ahead and do it, won't you, Snoozles?" Toph replied, sounding almost affectionate.

Instead of objecting to the nickname, Sokka just sighed and went to break up a fight.

Mai whistled softly. "Wow, you've got him trained."

Sokka paused in dragging a drunk to yell, "Please object to that!"

But Toph just shook her head and laughed.

Sokka made a disgusted noise and resumed his business.

Mai slipped an arm around Zuko's neck with a sigh of, "I'm bored, Zuko."

"And what are you suggesting I do about it?" he replied. If he had been looking at her, he would have noticed and understood the sly smirk on Mai's face, but he was too busy snickering as he watched Sokka smack away drunks with his boomerang.

Mai giggled- actually giggled- and Zuko glanced at her. She rested her head on his shoulder and lazily stroked his cheek. Zuko stared at her for a moment. "Don't tell me you're still going to complain about the tea," Mai murmured.

"Um..." said Zuko.

"Good answer." Mai started moving her hands lower, and Zuko, never one to be cuddly in public, dragged her off to the first empty room they found. No, he wasn't going to complain about the tea, but would it hurt to complain about his luck again?

O-o-O-o-O

Their first night together, Zuko had been hesitant. It was just his way. He wasn't good with women. And he didn't have the bright torch of passion to guide him; he just had the vague light of duty and friendship.

So the two of them sat on opposite sides of the bed, facing each other, neither quite sure what to do. Then Mai had sighed in disgust and pulled her shirt off. "Do you know what your father called this, Zuko?" she murmured. "He called it his royal obligation. I overheard your mother talking about it once. Are you much the same? I wouldn't be surprised."

Zuko often found himself wondering why he was so easy to bait. And Mai was just so good at it. Almost better than Azula.

Still, it was an easy way to get the awkwardness behind them. They didn't have love or fate or any of those magical words to help the process. Nope, they had Zuko's temper and Mai's sadistic streak. No wonder he wasn't sure what to do when Mai ran off.

O-o-O-o-O

When Katara came into the main hall, Sokka didn't even have to ask. After all, Zuko and Mai had just left, and they hadn't looked like they were trying to find a bathroom. "I'll kill him," Sokka growled. "I'll kill him."

"You won't," said Toph, grabbing his hand. "You'll be sane and stay here. That's not our business."

"But she's my sister!"

"Give her a minute. Be decent."

Sokka glared at Toph (even though he knew she couldn't see it) but let his sister be.

Katara looked upset: every few moments, she would absently brush away tears welling in her eyes. But the eyes themselves were distant and didn't really seem to see anything. Her mouth was curved not in a depressed frown but in a confused one. Except for the tears, she might have been sleepwalking.

And she was, pretty much, but instead of walking in a dream, it was a memory that haunted her. Aang and Zuko were swirling around in her mind, fighting for her attention. It was Aang- Earlier? I'm upset nowIt was Zuko- What was that? It was both of them, calling her name.

But it was Aang who caught her arm and smiled at her nervously. "Katara?" he asked, in a very quiet voice.

For a moment, Katara didn't look at him, thinking he was still a part of her dream. Then she snapped out of it, carefully removing Aang's hand.

The monk's face fell. He stepped back, plucking at his robe with an expression that was upset but really not surprised. "It was foolish of me to think- to try that anyway," he murmured. "I guess I'm not as good at holding my drink as I thought." He tried to laugh, but like his smile earlier, it didn't really work.

Katara thought she had recovered, but apparently the Aang in her head had one more thing to say- I miss happy me, for that matter. "What would it take to make you happy?" she asked.

Aang stared at her, clearly quite taken aback by this. "I... um..." He turned a dark shade of red, but he said, "Some part of me's been waiting for that kiss for a good six years now. It wasn't very nice of you to deny me it... again. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but-"

Katara shut him up. She already had too much to worry about.

On the other side of the room, Sokka blinked. "...I guess you were right, Toph," he said, eyebrows raised. "She isn't upset."

Toph smirked. "Aren't I always?"

O-o-O-o-O

Zuko found Mai without much trouble, since she was telling her woes to a plant. Loudly. Zuko had to wonder if she thought it was deaf. He approached cautiously; you could never tell if her aim was going to be as affected by her inebriation as her movements. "Mai?"

Mai paused and didn't look at him for a long moment. "I'm sorry," she said finally, "I thought I heard someone who was supposed to be my husband speaking to me." The stress she put on husband made Zuko wince. "But, no, seems I was right all along."

When it didn't seem like she was going to continue, Zuko asked, "About what?"

"About you," and she whirled on him. "It's been two years, Zuko. Two years! And you're still in love with that damn waterbender, and I'm still on the outside! Mai! The one who doesn't fit in! Mai! The weird one! Mai! The one no one loves! The one who just gets to watch while everyone around her is perfectly happy!"

Zuko blinked. He had always known Mai doubted his feelings (and she had every right- they hadn't been there when he proposed), but this was new.

"Well, you know what, Zuko?" she replied, ignoring his confusion. "When we got married, I didn't love you either!"

And that was a slap in the face. "Mai?" Zuko repeated in a much quieter tone. He was surprised to discover he was hurt by that confession. He loved Mai now, after all, and he had always assumed she had been in love with him the whole time. But to know it was a marriage of convience for her as well as him…

"I didn't!" Mai cried, sounding almost petulant now. There had been tears in her eyes her entire speech, but now she actually started to cry, falling into his arms and repeating, in much the same tone as he had, "I didn't." And then she explained.

O-o-O-o-O

It was stupid, Mai later realized, to think that they would always be together. Living with Azula was walking the edge of the knives Mai loved so much; nothing was sure because Azula's mood changed in an instant. If you fell out of favor…

Mai, of course, had never been afraid of the princess. She knew Azula wouldn't kill her- it wouldn't do to kill a noble, not at all- and pain didn't scare Mai. She had just never thought Azula would try to take something of hers. She knew the princess was capable of great cruelty, but she never thought Azula would deal her the deepest blow in sincerity instead of malice.

Mai was always one to keep her crushes to herself, and Ty Lee made her crush on the Water Tribe boy no secret. Didn't even attempt it. So Mai said nothing and kept her usual blank face when Ty Lee spoke of Sokka. She thought it was excellent acting on her part, considering that she wanted to scream with rage and jealousy.

In a way, she was glad Azula never found out. For one thing, she didn't even want to think about how bad Azula would tease her for falling for a girl this time, and for another, she didn't like competition. Of course, by the time she learned Azula was competition, she didn't have to worry about getting teased.

Despite her apathetic attitude, Mai did attempt to look on the bright side now and again for a change of pace.

Exactly how she ended up falling for Ty Lee was a long story that involved a lot of hugging, what had to be flirting (even though Mai had thought Ty Lee only went one way at the time), and plenty of denial.

But Mai was never one to lie to herself for long- others, yes, that was fun, but lying to yourself would sooner or later end up problematic.

So she, the governor's daughter, untouchable, unfeeling Mai, had fallen in love with a girl. Which made sense, considering the only other contact she'd had while traveling the Earth Kingdom had been Azula. Azula, who was psychopathic and unpredictable and just generally creepy as hell. Azula, whose taunts and barbs still got through to poor, optimistic Ty Lee.

And Azula was still her first choice!

Perhaps they had been together the entire time, and Mai simply hadn't noticed. She wasn't as good as Azula at reading people, after all. But even if they had, the only time they were open about it was in Ba Sing Se. Or, at least, open enough for Mai to catch them together.

Her heart full of jealousy and sorrow, Mai stumbled across Zuko.

O-o-O-o-O

After that, she refused to say anything more. She just clung to him for a few minutes, and then she got up and started to straighten her clothing. "Maybe I shouldn't be angry at you, but I am," Mai insisted. "Twice is two times too many."

Zuko also stood up, eyeing her warily, mostly because he didn't quite understand where she was going with this… but also because she could have been checking for her stilettos. "You said you didn't love me."

Mai shook her head and stepped back, trying to emphasize her solidarity. As if to insist, I don't need you. "I didn't, but love has this annoying habit of coming back. You can be so nice when you're not trying, Zuko. It's really exasperating."

Zuko blinked.

"You wouldn't understand, and it's not like it's really anything new, so if you don't mind, I'm going to find my dignity. I think it's hiding in the kitchen."

Zuko, who had almost believed her confession had shaken her back to sobriety, rolled his eyes. He grabbed her arm and glanced around to check for observers. Satisfied that there weren't any, he kissed her. Mai pulled away, color high in her cheeks. "I've been trying to make up with Katara for ages, Mai. I feel guilty, especially about the way I treated you. Do you know why?"

"Because passion will always be a better lay than duty?" Mai replied. She refused to meet his eyes, but there was no real malice in her voice.

Zuko sighed in disgust. Patience was something he'd learned from two years on the throne, but it was still something he had to concentrate on. "That's not why, and you know it. You're being difficult."

Mai just raised an eyebrow.

"You're always difficult. But I love you, Mai, I do. I try to treat the people I love right, but I'm not good at it."

"No, you're not," Mai agreed, her voice incredibly dry.

"You're not helping, you know."

Mai nodded, looking faintly smug. "It's what I do best. Like you being an ass."

"If you knew that, why are you being so picky about this?"

Mai crossed her arms. "Zuko, I've been in love with you for most of my life. During nearly all of it, you've been oblivious or over the moon for someone else. What am I supposed to do? Welcome you back into my arms every time you remind me that you picked me because I'm sensible and have good breeding?"

"…It'd make things easier…"

"You're a bastard," mumbled Mai, but, again, there was no malice to it.

"I love your pet names."

Mai brightened a little. "Hey! We can call it make-up sex now!"

Zuko sighed, rubbing his temples. "It's not a good idea."

"I'm drunk. That's not my job."

"If you can say you're drunk, you're not really drunk."

"Zuko, I'm surprised you're not sloshed from kissing me."

"Unlike you, I can hold my liquor."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who dances on tables."

"How can you still remember that!"

Mai smirked. "I never forget anything that would give me an edge over you, husband dear."

"Oh, right. That's what this whole discussion was about." He sighed again and grabbed her hand. "Come on, they'll probably be wondering about us."

"No they won't."

"You're hopeless!" He ignored her protests, dragging her into the main reception hall. Most of the guests were, by now, either passed out or fighting. The bride and groom were nowhere to be found. Aang, though, was standing by the punch bowl, looking oddly giddy. Zuko pulled Mai over. "Where'd Sokka and Toph go?"

Aang shrugged, glancing around. "Last I knew, they were arguing about why everyone was getting laid but them… They might have eloped."

"But they were already married," said Mai, squinting.

"Either that, or they could have gone to the Haggard Prince." Aang shrugged. "Both are likely."

"We'll just have to check to see if Appa goes missing or if they show up in the gutters," Zuko muttered. "Where's Katara?" Mai started, but Zuko flicked her in the ear. "I'm only asking because she seemed disraught."

Aang's grin widened. "She left about ten minutes ago, actually. Something about needing a nap."

"Why are you smiling like that?" Mai asked, frowning at him. "It's kind of creepy." "I was smiling?" He reached up to touch his lips, which only intensified his grin. "I guess it's because I have a dinner date with her tomorrow." "The only appointment Zuko and I have is for make-up sex."

Zuko facepalmed. "I really do hate you all."

(Definitely not as good as the first chapter. Probably because I hate Zuko and fluff. Ah, well, it fills up the humor side of the genre, at least. Review!)