Misconception

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter. No, I don't make bajillions of dollars of this either. This is PRE HBP! NO HBP IN THIS FIC!

Author's Note: Woah. Sorry about the delay. You know how school is. Yeah, yeah. Read, review, be nice, or be mean. I don't know. It's better to be nice because then I'll write more!

Chapter 15: Infiltrate

Draco slowly crept out of his bed, gently taking Ginny's head off of his arm. She did not stir at all when Draco gently kissed her on the cheek. It was two hours before sunrise, and Draco was to report to Dumbledore's office at this hour. Even though Blaise had stopped tail gaiting Draco since Christmas, they still took all precautions not to be seen.

As Draco quickly changed into his school robes, he looked at Ginny, who was still soundly asleep. He felt a great swell of affection inside his heart; they had now been together for six months. Their relationship was still a secret, although some had had suspicions with all the sneaking around. But they always managed to get out of it with whatever lies or excuse they told. Draco had given her the Slytherin password, and the password to his room, so she could sneak in whenever she wanted to.

They never did anything; they only came close to it once. Ginny had been embarrassed and stammered incoherently, but Draco understood that she wasn't ready. He did not push her to do something that she was unwilling to do, and she had been grateful to that. Draco's feelings for her were stronger than ever, and he found himself willing to do anything for her. It was like he changed into a completely different person just for her. But when he was around others, he was still the same cold, sadistic, and sarcastic Draco Malfoy.

He felt that his heart could burst with all that he felt for her. A couple of times, Draco wanted to say the three words but could not bring himself to it. She always said the things he wanted to hear the most, understood him more than anyone, and cherished him. Draco probably knew all there needed to know about her, and he wished deeply that he knew everything about him…Several times, he wanted to, but like the three words, he could not bring himself to it. It was mostly because Dumbledore's warning would ring inside his head clearly: Never give away your position, Draco…it doesn't matter how much you trust them or how bad the situation may be…

Draco found himself in front of Dumbledore's office door. With a long intake of breath, he knocked on the door three times.

"Come in," said a muffled voice from inside.

Draco pulled open the door and stepped inside the familiar office, filled with paintings of former, sleeping headmasters. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk with a smile, and he motioned Draco to sit down.

"I'm sorry that you had to wake so early," Dumbledore apologized with a bow of his head.

"It's okay," said Draco, "I've been getting good sleep these past few months anyway," he added with a rare smile.

Dumbledore smiled as well, but he looked weary.

"I'm afraid Hogwarts is in danger…" said Dumbledore gravely, "There were two murders in Hogsmeade already, and I have thus cancelled all Hogsmeade weekends…"

"The Death Eaters can't get into Hogswarts though, right?" said Draco, half assuring himself. "This castle has every security spell known."

"True," said Dumbledore, "But the parents of students are absolutely hysterical…and I suspect Blaise Zabini is working a way to let the Death Eaters raid the castle."

"Can't you expel him?" asked Draco hopefully.

"There is no evidence that Blaise is really up to something…"

"Of course he's up to something," said Draco firmly, "He's been wanting a higher rank as Death Eater since who knows how long…he'll do anything to get the Dark Lord's favor, even trying to rat me out…"

Dumbledore did not say anything. Finally he said, "Do you mind skipping the last few weeks of school? I daresay that you have nothing more to do, since your N.E.W.T.s are done with…you'll only miss the graduation ceremony…"

Draco didn't know what to say. He didn't mind missing the graduation ceremony, but how would he explain his absence to Ginny? He frowned at this, trying to think of a good excuse.

"But…where are you sending me?" asked Draco. "Wouldn't the others get suspicious?"

By others, he meant the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord.

"No, I don't think they would, since I know your father would want you to be there anyway." answered Dumbledore, lightly.

"Where?" repeated Draco.

"Back to the Death Eaters and Voldemort," said Dumbledore.

Draco frowned and opened his mouth in protest, but Dumbledore raised a hand and spoke, "This war has become more violent within a year, and all we can do now is fight. Draco, I want you to fight on the Death Eaters' side, act as natural as possible. However, avoid killing members of the Order…"

"What—I don't understand…" said Draco, confused.

"I want you to stay with the Death Eaters and go to wherever you are stationed to," said Dumbledore. "And you must provide as much information to me as possible, as discreetly as possible."

No. He could not do this, not now, not when he had Ginny. How could he just leave her? He couldn't….But how could he tell Dumbledore this? Draco knew he had to fulfill the duty he signed up for, and he knew he had to stay true to the oath he took. As a secret member of the Order, and as a high ranked Death Eater…he had to do this for the war…

"And I will be gone for as long as this war lasts?" said Draco quietly.

"I'm afraid so, and only we can correspond," said Dumbledore. "And you must not be in contact with any other students of Hogwarts, for it will only raise suspicions."

"I—." Draco began and then swallowed the lump. "What is my reason to leave, if they…ask" His voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and he quickly cleared his throat.

The world of happiness he had built during the six months with Ginny seemed to shatter before his own eyes. Was his duty more important than this? Draco could not imagine living without Ginny…She would think that he was all evil, that he had tricked her. No, he couldn't live with that. If the war lasted years, she would probably move on, and he would still be just a Death Eater in her eyes…Until war's end, she would never know that he had been working for the Order, for Dumbledore….By then, it would probably be too late….The thought of these consequences caused a lump in Draco's throat and a sorrow that he never thought he could feel…

"Malfoy..." sighed Dumbledore.

"I can't do that—" said Draco, trying to keep his voice steady.

Dumbledore closed his eyes, unable to say anything. Draco tried to close his mind of all thoughts, afraid that Dumbledore might be trying to penetrate inside them.

Too late. Dumbledore bluntly said, "You do not wish to leave Miss Weasley, then?"

Draco did not say anything, nor did he ask Dumbledore how he knew. Dumbledore had already penetrated his mind, and he knew everything. Draco could not help but to feel a little ashamed.

"I can't just leave her." Draco said finally, after a long lasp of silence. A sorrow and despair he never felt before rushed into him. It was worse than thinking he could not get out of the war alive…it was worse than the pain of the Cruciatus Curse…

"I'm sorry, Draco," said Dumbledore gently. "But this must be done…No other spies are in such a high ranked position as a Death Eater. You are the only one who will know all the top plans…"

"If I could just tell her--"

"No," said Dumbledore sharply, but then softened. "No, as I said before Draco, you must not tell anyone. You are under oath and with the spells that bind to that oath, you are not able to tell anyone unless I, myself, have died because I am the one who swore you in."

When Draco did not say anything, Dumbledore sighed and said, "I told you on the first day, never to get close to someone…it would only hurt you, young Malfoy."

"I love her," whispered Draco, finally after a long silence.

"If you do, Draco," said Dumbledore in the gentlest way, "then do this for her. If the Order has you as spy, we can always be one step ahead of Voldemort, like we have been this year. Draco, don't you realize? Because of you, we are winning this war. Before you joined, we had no hope left! But a few months after you joined us…the tables began to turn.

"I understand what you may be feeling right now, but these sacrifices must be made. And when we have triumphed and Miss Weasley hears that you were aiding us, she will surely forgive you…"

Draco felt a little comfort from these words of wisdom, and he knew that it was true. However, his selfishness, his own wanting to be with Ginny rebelled against it.

"I don't want---No, I can't do this!" said Draco, leaping up to his feet in rage. He stormed to door, but he found it locked. Dumbledore was not going to give up. Draco breathed in deeply, trying to control his anger…

This man…he's trying to take the only good thing that's ever happened to me…

He whirled around and faced Dumbledore, who sat calmly at his desk. However, he could catch the pity in the headmaster's eyes. He trusted this old man with his very life, but why did he have to make things so hard on him? Why did he have to take away Ginny, who was the only person dear to him…He felt his head spinning, his heart aching…

"I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HER!" shouted Draco, unable to contain himself. "I love her! And she deserves to know the truth…she deserves to know who I really am! I can't bear…" he felt himself choke, the lump in his throat growing… "I can't bear to think…that she'll hate me…"

He felt his vision blur with tears, but he furiously wiped them away. Suddenly, he felt a dizzying spell wash over him. He felt weak, knowing that he would not have Ginny there anymore to be by his side. He slid to the ground and buried his face in his hands, unable to face the cruel reality.

Draco was shaking uncontrollably, and he felt the headmaster's hand on his shoulder, patting him comfortingly.He drew in shaky breaths and could not bring himself to look at Dumbledore, who had crouched beside him.

"Draco, stand up," said Dumbledore in a gentle, but commanding voice. The headmaster helped him to his feet and led him to the chair, where Draco slumped down on lifelessly.

Dumbledore did not say a word until he was calmer. Dumbledore sighed and began.

"I know this is very hard for you…"

"No, you don't." Draco heard himself saying defiantly. "You don't know what I'm feeling right now."

"You're being foolish, Draco," said Dumbledore sternly.

Dumbledore closed his eyes, and Draco could see that he felt sympathy for him. The headmaster looked tired, like he hadn't slept for days. When he opened his eyes again, Draco could see that something within Dumbledore had died. A weak fire that had been blown out, and Draco knew that he was being selfish…

"You were never supposed to attach yourself to someone," said Dumbledore with a weary sigh. "I feared this would come…but you must do this. Remember, you volunteered for this…you are sworn to the Order, bound by a magical contract. The only way to get out of the contract is by death or through me, your Secret Keeper. You have no other choice. If you do this, Malfoy, you can keep many of the Order members' lives. Members of the Order include all of Ginny's family…

"Young Weasley loves her family dearly, and she would be devastated if anything should happen to them. You saw how dreadful she was when her brother Charlie had been injured by Blaise…"

Draco nodded, remembering how he had prevented her from lashing out at Blaise and held her firmly in his arms while she cried for her brother. Was he truly doing this for her, then?

"We can protect Miss Weasley, as well…" said Dumbledore quietly.

"And what am I supposed to say to her?" asked Draco raising his head, looking haggard.

"It's better that she hears where you are going from you than from others…"

(A/N: Alright, I probably went a bit overboard with the emotions. BUT I hope you don't hate me too much. I felt it was sufficient…)