A/N:

So um again hey!

Its been a looong time... school started again. :(

This ones shorter than I'd hoped and maybe rather confusing but I really wanted to get it out. Hmm well it could be awhile so... enjoy!

Aftermath…

Sunday November 1; sometime…

Can you honestly believe me? I honestly don't believe some of the things I do.

I went to the gym today and surprise, surprise there's freaking Darcy, but here's where it gets interesting, he limping.

I and my vicious toe stomping abilities have rendered Will Darcy weak!

I may be an irrational freak that does stupid things sometimes but this time it was deserved, for I have come to the inescapable (and as I fear deadly accurate) conclusion that Darcy is the true reason for Eddie breaking up with Erin. Darcy, not Eddie, is the cause of all my best friend's pain. It makes so much sense. Eddie moves seats not to avoid Erin but Darcy. Eddie acts sullen at dance and runs upon sight of Darcy. Darcy spends more time at gym due to lack of best friend Eddie. Eddie looks downcast 24/7 due to lack of girlfriend Erin. Eddie still likes Erin and is only not with her for fear of Darcy?

Just one missing link: motive. Why would Darcy want to break them up? I mean sure the idea crossed my mind but I could never come between a best friend and her happiness. So is Darcy even more of an ass hole, and a greedy one at that, than even I pegged him for? For once was I correct in my first assessment?

He's a horrible person… but well… I just never thought of him as that close with Eddie to dictate his life. There's something fishy afoot.

Anyway I'm too scared to tell Erin of my assumptions and even of my explicit violence, but apparently she knows already. The gossip of Darcy being put in his place by a chick has circulated rather quickly. Most people think it's because he kissed someone else while we were "dating".

Is it weird that I've become such a gossip target in the last three months?

Ultimate Frisbee/Ultimate Question…

Thursday, November 5; 11:50… ish.

I've been doing homework for the past 2 hours because I spent the entire afternoon playing ultimate Frisbee with pretty much the entire junior class. Erin and I showed up at like five to meet Janie and Damien there.

We weren't planning on playing but when I got there it looked like fun so Damien convinced me into it and this cool guy named Fitz spent like 10 minutes teaching me how to play. If I could throw better I would have done rather well. Fitz was way cool though and kept trying to show me the correct form for optimum Frisbee tossing but he was rather attractive so I got distracted. He said I was the best girl out there though, so that made me feel good.

Eddie was there and asked me if I'd talked to Erin and I told him about the conversation me and E had on Monday about whether or not Eddie was a jerk. She seemed rather floored when I agreed with the fact that he had a logical explanation and thought I'd been brainwashed. I suppose I don't normally change to other people's opinions very much.

Damien and I started a pretty elitist Frisbee club (not a literal club) and have designated ourselves the worst on the team and the most easily distracted by shirtless males. He had to point out to me the fact that Darcy had taken his shirt off and had a rather nice chest, which isn't surprising based on his gym hours. I got stuck marking Darcy so this particular shirtless visualization was rather distracting and I honestly had to remind myself of how horrible he is. I must say though I did really school him a couple times and he seemed kind of shocked by my radical skills.

I was beat by the end of it all. We honestly played for four hours and I ran past Darcy after we finally called it quits and jumped on Damien's back telling him if he didn't carry me I'd hate him forever. Of course he did and even made baying sounds like a horse.

I liked it all, but I didn't like the rather large stack of Calc homework I had to face once I got home. Senior year I'm taking no AP classes.

Freaky Friday…

Friday, November 6; later… as in past 11.

My el Madre is so odd. She made me stay home tonight to meet some weird guy she'd met on that was a total loser with a receding hairline and absolutely no sense of humor.

Is this what my mother has been reduced to?

He's absolutely pathetic and I wonder if she's just that desperate or if he's a bit different in private settings.

Why is my mother so set on having a guy around? Obviously she didn't like it the first time around or else she'd have stayed with daddy so why is she so hard pressed on dating someone even if it means a circus freak? When did my mom become dependant on males?

The worst part of it all is Bridget. She's just like mom. Boys seem to be the center of her universe and I don't understand how she can purposely fail a class just so she could ask the guy behind her in English for private tutoring, and to bring home guys like Trevor. When did one have to start seriously dating at such an early age?

Anyway the whole ordeal would have been completely unbearable if it hadn't been for my last minute invite to Jack, prompted by Bridget, to rescue me from the clutches of boring conversation. He's so funny sometimes that I don't even understand how he's human.

Speaking of Jack he's now onto another girl named Ella something, who's such a slut that last year everyone thought she was pregnant, and they are officially a couple. Great choice there Jack.

I also don't get that. Why do guys like those girls? Is it purely sexual? Do they just want to get some, because it's obviously not for the stimulating conversation?

Maybe it's time I turn the world upside down voluntarily rather than without me realizing.

My nose is running… help me catch it?

Monday, November 9; my eyes are too crusted over to see a clock.

I'm sick. Overly sick. Sick to the point where I don't believe I'll ever feel healthy again. I want to sleep and blow my nose in public and not worry about getting snot on my sleeve.

I'm sick and I want Campbell's soup and Disney movies.

I'm sick and I'm still at school. (With any luck maybe I'll get Jack and his slutty girlfriend sick.)

I'm sick and none of my teachers have a box of tissues.

I'm sick and my sleeve is gross and I have a pocketful of paper towels I stole from the bathroom.

I'm sick and I have to breathe heavy just to get any semblance of air in my lungs.

I'm sick and I want my mommy who's too busy with her loser boyfriend to even notice I'm sick.

I'm sick and tired.

Got an Issue… Here's a Tissue…

Wednesday, November 11; 12:34 – I can see again… and breathe!

I'm feeling better but my nose has progressed from being stopped up to just dripping like a leaky faucet. It's rather disgusting.

Want to hear the best part? I got Darcy sick.

It's rather funny to see him pull out a pocket pack of tissues and try to subtly wipe his nose in a "cool" way. He's such a freak.

Just before lunch (which is where I am at the moment) my nose dripping reached a serious peak and as I'd mentioned before my teacher seems to think that tissues would be much too covenant and she wouldn't let me go get a paper towel, so there I am sulking when I hear probably the cutest stopped-up voice in the world say, "You can borrow one of mine."

I must admit I was slightly downcast when I noticed the owner of the voice and tissue was Darcy, but beggars can't be choosers so I took the tissue and replied jokingly, "Thanks but are you sure you want it back?"

He looked a bit shocked seeing as I hadn't talked to him since Halloween but then he just kind of smiled and handed me the tissue then tried to breathe through his nose which caused that horrible phlegmy noise.

I laughed at him and quickly wiped my nose and stupid Erin turns to me and gives me this insinuating smile, which just caused me to scowl and now I'm sitting here at lunch ignoring her while she keeps saying stupid comments like "You have to admit he's cute!" and "There's always been a spark between you!" While I snort derisively every few seconds.

Pfft.

Whatever Erin, you may live in a fantasy land but I however do not!

There's a Hurricane outside my window…

Thursday, November 12; sometime at night…

It's raining… a lot.

Normally I quite enjoy rain but I was feeling better today, despite the fact that the lady at Walgreen's wouldn't let me buy any Nyquil because I'm not 18, and I really wanted to play ultimate Frisbee again this week. Due to the fact that the Frisbee Game of Death was canceled Damien called begging me to go to the "alternate activity" thing at the pool hall, because he knows I rock at pool and I also I think because he has a crush on that Fitz kid even though Fitz has a very pretty girlfriend. I must also admit that at the mention of Fitz I was a little bit more excited to go also. I'm not saying I'd even consider a guy with a girlfriend but there's something really… familiar and striking about Fitz. Basically he's very much my type if I had a type… oh it makes sense to me.

Oh right pool, billiards, whatever. Have I mentioned how awesome I am?

Last week Fitz and Damien taught me how to play ultimate Frisbee, this week I taught them pool. Of course not to the point where they're better than me but still, they're definitely better than they were.

Of course Darcy was there and apparently he's pretty good so Fitz wanted him on his team so he could stand a chance against me and Damien. About halfway through the game Fitz still hadn't sunk a ball so he threw down his cue and once he'd quit Damien had no motivation to play anymore so of course it ends up with me against just Darcy.

Of course he's good at it too because heaven forbid that Darcy suck at anything, besides being a friend and general human being.

So I'd just sunk my last ball before the eight ball and Darcy and I haven't said a single word to each other throughout the entire game. I just keep scowling and he's got this annoying half smile on his face that actually would be cute if it were on anyone but him.

"Eight ball side pocket," I say softly gesturing with my cue to the referred pocket. That's when Darcy does the least expected, he stares at me and says completely out of the blue, "You know what Lizzy, you're kind of pretty."

How does one concentrate on their game winning shot when someone has just said that to them? He'd said it all mystified and confused with the stupid smile still playing on his face and I have to admit that if it were a psych-out attempt it worked, because when I went to take my final shot I couldn't think about anything else, so it came as no surprise when I scratched on my eight ball.

"No fair you cheated!" I shouted as soon as I stood back up from my shot. "You can't use psych-out methods during a game that's cheating!"

He just scowled. "It's not my fault you missed your shot."

"Yes it is. You can't say that kind of thing to purposefully cause someone to miss their shot! You were being mean!"

"As I recall what I said wasn't mean in the slightest," his smile came back as he said this and I've seen him look cocky before but never quite like that.

"It is mean in your motivation for saying it!" I replied indignantly. By now I was shouting so Fitz and Damien decided they wanted to step in.

"What's a matter Liz?" Fitz asked giving Darcy a weird face that I know was asking him silent questions I knew nothing about.

"Darcy cheated," I replied simply.

"Did not," Darcy sang back.

"What'd he do?" Damien asked.

"He told me I was pretty right before my big shot, and caused me to miss."

Fitz just seemed to stare between Darcy and me. "Liz sweetheart please explain how Darcy giving you a compliment makes him a cheater," he said after a long pause and looking at me like I was an idiot.

"It's cheating because he doesn't really think I'm pretty he just wanted to break my concentration!" I grumbled.

"Who's to say I don't think you're pretty?" Darcy asked with his stupid smile.

I scowled harder than I'd ever scowled before. "You and I both know why I know you don't think I'm pretty, you practically told me at that stupid party months ago" I growled then got louder, "You're a cheater! No wonder you have no friends, you probably cheat with them too. You're the most ridiculously infuriating person I've ever met and I hate you more than I've hated anyone in my entire life!"

That's all I said before I stomped out of the pool hall and jumped in my car leaving behind the egotistical males and Damien, and deciding to never even concern myself with them again.

So yes it's raining outside but as of now it's perfect because I feel horrible inside, because when push comes to shove I let him get to me, I let him take away the one thing I have: my confidence.

The Week from Hell…

Friday, November 20; it doesn't freaking matter.

So maybe I'm crying at the moment. Maybe I'm crying over my week that would send a normal person spinning into therapy. Maybe I need therapy.

So as I last left off with the pool hall I believe Darcy had just called me pretty and… well y'know.

So Friday I did very good and had a very boring day with nothing all that exciting going on and all that fun stuff. I didn't talk to Darcy. I didn't talk to Damien. I didn't talk to Fitz... that is until Monday.

On Monday Fitz finally tracked me down and managed to corner me in the hallway and ask if I was "Okay?"

"I'm fine Fitz. What would I have to be upset about? Darcy being a jerk to me, that's definitely not a new development," I replied unconcernedly.

"He's a good guy you know," Fitz shot back. "Did you know he's my cousin? He's so great sometimes, got me out of a couple sticky situations."

I just scowled. "That's great Fitz to be honest I don't really care what Darcy does."

"He's a good guy Lizzy. I mean he helped keep Eddie away from his psychotic, clingy girlfriend."

"What? Who?" My attention was now fully on the conversation.

"Some dumb blonde, Erin something-" he stopped talking when he saw my face and I just growled.

"Thanks Fitz you made me feel a lot less like I overreacted!" I shouted as I stomped off because although I'd had my suspicions about Darcy's role in Erin's heartbreak everything had been confirmed by Fitz, his cousin no less.

This time when I got to humanities I shot Darcy the dirties look I'd ever used in my life. Even jack would later come up and ask why I was so upset with Darcy, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him of how horrid Darcy truly is, and I definitely couldn't tell Erin.

On Tuesday I did tell someone of my troubles and I wish to god that I'd chosen someone else, because everyone seems to have some great relation to Darcy. I told Jo… no wait scratch that I told Georgie.

Yes I told Darcy's sister, because Jo and Georgie are in fact the same person. That night on the phone when Darcy was in my car, that was Jo. The awesome brother she always talked about, that was DARCY! The fact that both of them seemed to know things about me that only one of them should have, that was them being siblings!

I had befriended Georgie the dishrag's sister, without even knowing.

The worst part was when after I'd finished all my rantings, all my angry confessions she jut turns to me looking very somber and says. "I promise he's not a bad guy!"

Stupid naïve me, just looks confused. "What Darcy's not a bad guy? Did you not just hear my stories?"

"I heard them but maybe you're misunderstanding it all. I know he can be an idiot but I'm sure he never meant to hurt you!" she almost seemed to be pleading with me to like him.

"Why are you defending him?" I asked jaw dropped and everything.

"Because I have to."

"Oh god, please don't tell me you're like in love with him or something?"

"No, no. Only platonically."

"What Jo, what's going on?" I asked because she honestly looked as if she might cry and in that moment I kind of pitied her.

"Lizzy… my full name is Georgiana Darcy, or Georgie Darcy to my brother. Will is my brother," she said the last part softly.

I just stared at her pathetically not knowing what to say and quickly escaping the awkward silence that followed her confession when the bell rang.

Sometimes I can run rather fast, but how come I can't ever seem to do so at the gym when people are watching.

Also that night I went to the gym for a very long time only to be greeted by Jack and my sister making out on my couch. Which is gross. I kind of threw something at him and pushed him out of the house. Bridget says she never wants to talk to me again.

On Wednesday I when I went back to I.D. I told the teacher that my ankle was hurting again and she let me sit and watch instead of dancing and whenever Jo/Georgie came to talk to me I was very monosyllabic and she gave up on trying to talk to me pretty quickly.

Anyway every time during the week that Darcy had ever even made a noise in Humanities I would just shoot him my dirtiest look and eventually even Erin said she was a little scared of me and kind of started avoiding me because I wouldn't tell her what I was so upset about and now Erin thinks I'm angry at her and… Grr.

Well let's just say that my week has been the worst yet and that's not even including what happened yesterday.

I overslept. I mean like seriously overslept. I was over an hour late for school and I woke up with another sore throat which has developed into another cold already. So I missed first period in which we had a test which my French teacher won't let me make up because the absence was "unexcused" and I therefore got a zero!

During second period the teacher made me start dancing because she says she saw me skipping Wednesday in the courtyard and therefore I'm not as hurt as I claimed. (Skipping? I doubt it. Nothing about my week would have prompted me to skip!) Through the whole class Jo just kept saying, "Lizzy why are you so mad?" until eventually I pulled this fantastic fall to the ground and re-sprained my ankle. Now the damn teacher has to believe me because they put me on crutches again.

So I was late to Humanities since I had to go to the nurse's office then crutch back to the other end of the school. Which hurts by the way.

Well I was late and Erin just shoots me this worried glance but doesn't comment because the idiot she is still thinks I'm mad at her and Jack just laughed at me which didn't make me feel better. When the bell rang of course I was the last person out of the class… well almost.

Darcy decided that that would be the perfect time to have a great discussion with me. I finally wiggle out of my desk and up onto my crutches and he's just standing there holding my text book.

"Do you need help with this?" he asked holding up the book.

"No," I grumbled lurching forward to grab the book and completely forgetting my damn ankle.

"I'm just trying to help you know," he says quietly placing the book on my desk and then I notice he looks funny, not nervous or anything just funny. "Sometimes people want to do nice things for people."

I looked down at my desk, so he couldn't see the doubtful look all over my face, and pretended I wasn't really listening.

"You know I meant what I said," he said this really softly and if we hadn't been in a deserted classroom I never would have heard it.

"Meant what?" I asked nonchalantly shoving the text book into my back pack and trying to get my bag on to I could make an escape.

"About you being pretty. I do think you're pretty… in an unconventional kind of way. And you may be clumsy and somewhat ridiculous but I think it's kind of amusing. Your sister's completely superficial. But I don't know, I just can't help but like you," he said it quickly and with out looking at me that is until I dropped my bag.

"Darcy you may think you're the best thing on this planet but I have news for you. You aren't! You're a conceited prick that just insulted me to no end and seem to think that that whole damn speech makes you such a great person because 'You can't help but like poor loser Lizzy'? Please! I sure as hell don't want some arrogant asshole in my life saying crap like that, breaking up my best friends' relationships, and mocking everything I do. I honestly don't care if you like me or not because guess what, the feeling's not mutual!"

He looked shell shocked for quite a few seconds while I stood there seething and just as I picked up my bag to finally leave he decided to start speaking again.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

I scowled. "You're so full of yourself. How about when you broke up Eddie and Erin or Jack and his girlfriend," his jaw dropped open, "not to even mention all the crap you've done to me!"

That's when I finally made my escape.

I spent lunch in Mrs. Hertz's office trying not to cry because sometimes guys can be hurtful no matter how little you value their opinions. Eventually I explained it all to her and she told me she'd sign me out if I wanted to go home.

So I did. And I didn't go back today. I slept until noon and honestly cried for probably the first time since my parent's divorce and swore to just forget it.

But I can't forget it.

Note-worthy…

Monday, November 23; after school.

"A note?" you ask. "Who gives a note?"

Apparently Darcy does. Apparently I really struck a nerve that made him so unable to face me that he had Jo give me a note during dance as she whispered. "I know you're mad but just read it. It's really not as bad as you may think."

The note. Hmm I suppose you'll want to read it. Well that comes last.

Yes. I'm crying again.

Am I crying because I'm angry or because of something else? Because besides the first shock wave of anger I'm really not that mad. More frustrated than mad. More confused than anything.

But I honestly think I should be mad. First he ruins things with Erin, pretends he doesn't remember doing so. He insults me then decides I'm pretty, also in an insulting way. He also always so derisive and cruel. When I look back he's always mocking me or looking down his nose at me.

The scariest bit of it all is that he hasn't. He hasn't always been that bad. When I honestly look at it all, when I read this diary I realize that there's been so many times that he just looked at me or maybe said something kind of nice that I just completely ignored because I'd already made up my mind about him.

Which one's him?

The one I'd labeled so early or this one? The one that wrote this note.

Oh you still need to read that. Wait.

How could I have been so wrong? Especially about Jack. Why can't all questions just have one right answer? I just want there to be a black and white. I'm tired of the gray area.

Right, right. Here just read it now. I don't even know what to think anymore.

Lizzy.

So based on our conversation on Thursday and the ones I've recently had with specific family members (a.k.a. Fitz and Georgie) I get the fact that you must really hate me. Which is understandable because honestly sometimes I do stupid things. Especially around you.

I don't think you'll understand because you're always so confident and reassured, but you make me nervous. I like you, Lizzy. I don't think you ever realized that but well… I do. I know sometimes I've been a jerk and all but I really didn't mean a lot of it how it came across.

Ok so now all I've achieved is calling myself an idiot. At least we both agree on that.

Ok let me start with the Jo-Georgie thing. Georgie goes by Jo to most of her friends and maybe she'd heard me mention you back before she introduced herself to you but she never said a single word to me about anything you guys talked about and honestly I never even knew about you two being friends until last week. So I'm sorry that she can be meddlesome. I suppose she was just looking for a friendly face and ended up tied up in all this.

Now for Erin and Eddie. Can I be perfectly honest with you and say that maybe I meddled for what I thought was my best friend's interests. I knew he liked Erin but, stupid as I am, I believed Jackilyn when she said that Erin was using Eddie to get to me. I'm guessing that she didn't like me and I was just being "an arrogant asshole" which again I'm sorry about. Sometimes people act irrationally to protect people. I really didn't see her attraction to him, but if you say it's there then it's there. Girls are more perceptive than guys, or so I hear.

So now for the one topic I actually get to be right about: (not that it's a competition) Jack. I hate to say it Lizzy but I hate him. He's a liar that I was once friends with, that is until I caught him with Georgie. He had a girlfriend at the time who I told about the whole thing and she ended things with him. Jack's probably the worst person I've ever met. No decent guy would cheat on his girlfriend and ruin things with his best friend all at the same time.

Right well I guess that's it. I'm sorry things got so screwed up. I'm sorry I'm such an idiot sometimes, but I can't change who I am or who you are and honestly I don't really want to.

So like I said before, I like you and I really don't know how this mess got started but… yeah okay.

Will Darcy

When Bad Sisters Turn Good…

Thursday, November 26; 8:54 p.m.

There I was lying in my bed for the third straight day in a row when the last person I ever expected came in.

"Lizzy do you hate me?" She asked quietly sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What Bridge? No I could never hate you," I muttered not looking up from my pillows.

"Are you upset that I kissed Jack? I'm really sorry about it. You just said you didn't like him and there we were home alone and he's just so cute," she muttered and for some reason I got the feeling she'd been crying.

I sat up taking pity on her. "He has a girlfriend Bridge. It may not be me but sometimes you have to look around at other people and realize that just because you want it doesn't make it right."

"I'm sorry," she squeaked in a small voice. "You must think I'm the biggest idiot in the world."

That's when I flicked on my desk lamp and looked at her. I may not have had a mirror with me at the time but I know I looked horrible and Bridget didn't even flinch, she did however cry for a second.

"Look at me Bridget. You're not the biggest idiot. Maybe I am, but don't let anyone ever make you think that you're any less great than you are. You may be somewhat shallow sometimes but at least you'd never hurt someone like I would."

"Is it Jack?" she asked wiping away a tear.

I shook my head. "Trust me Jack is the last person on my mind these days."

"Erin asked me in the hall at school the other day if you were okay. Are you guys fighting?" she asked softly.

I shook my head. "No I think she's just frustrated that I'm not telling her things."

"You could tell me," Bridget said sitting up into Indian-style on my bed and sounding interested.

"Trust me you don't want to know," I replied shaking my head.

"You may think I know nothing about everything Lizzy but I do know that sometimes I'm not a very good sister and I want to be if you'll let me. Can't I just listen? It might help."

That was that. I told her. I told her about Darcy saying he liked me. I told her about Jack cheating on Jo and everything else about mine and Jo's friendship. I told her about everything and all she had to say when I was done was: "Lizzy everyone deserves a second chance; even Darcy and even you."

I get by with a little help from my friends…

Friday, November 27; 4:32 p.m.

Today I went back to school.

Today I talked with Erin.

Today I ignored Jack and laughed with Damien.

Today I maybe even smiled at Darcy, even if his back was turned.

A/N: So um yeah... I like reviews...?