Notes: Post BDM 1 yr. + I had a few possible directions I wanted to take this story and when it came down to the wire, this is what felt most fitting.

---

River unlatched and swung open the large barn doors as dawn broke over the lush, sprawling pastures. Feeling the light at her back, she turned to appreciate the brilliant golden-white rays of sunlight as they slowly stretched across the dusky sky.

A chill from the frigid morning air employed her to wrap her arms firmly around herself. She loved the cold as it nipped the tip of her nose and made her eyes water. The frigid sting made her feel alive.

River preferred to get up before the house stirred and the ranch hands arrived to start the day. It was easier to converse with the animals in the still of early morning.

As she set out fresh hay for the horses and placed the milking stools next to the dairy cows, she reflected on her time with the Fryes.

It had been two months since she'd last heard or seen from anyone on Serenity. The plan to leave had been formulated with the help of Kaylee and Simon when it became obvious that the circumstances were causing tremendous and dangerous emotional confliction among the three involved.

Mal had become even more withdrawn after she had confessed her plans to leave, like somehow it would make the transition easier if he broke away completely.

Jayne had punched his hand through a crate the day he found out. A couple times he tried to talk her out of leaving but to no advantage.

River was convinced that once she left, they would realize how much easier things would be for all of them. After all, she had been the cause of most of their troubles and firmly believed she was liberating them from a life of nuisance.

Her life on Aberdeen was filled with temperateness. Mrs. Frye's big, hearty laugh and Mr. Frye's soft, quite demeanor created a balance she admired. They treated her like one of their own and she repaid their kindness with hard work around the home and ranch.

Kaylee's family had provided her with a stable dwelling into which to escape, a place to find herself without the turmoil of confused love, and she was thankful for that.

As peaceful as she now felt with her surrogate family, she longed for her real one on Serenity. She missed Simon's nurturing and fretting, Kaylee's friendship, baby Caleb's infectious giggles, Zoe's quiet strength, Jayne's misplaced humor and Mal's protective nature. She even missed the new-old pilot's kooky stories and shaky smile.

For all the strength she had accumulated since leaving home, there was a new sensation lurking about. It felt as if something was mislaid, like a part of herself had been lost. Every day the feeling gradually worsened.

Something big and hollow was opening up inside of her, threatening to swallow her whole.

She tried to push the bleak emotion down deep and lock it away. The decision to come here had been the right one. Regret would do nothing but hamper her purpose.

River meticulously ran a brush through her horse's tan coat while smoothing her hand gently across its back to calm the creature. She worked for hours with a quiet diligence until the entire animal was burnished clean.

The Fryes had given her the mare so she could help herd the beef cattle when they were low on hands. River had instantly found that she was a quick-tempered beast with an insatiable appetite. Using the horse's personality as a precursor, she named the animal Jayne.

Her thoughts of past and present were soon interrupted by the sound of a man's voice emerging from behind. River turned around to find Colton, Kaylee's only and younger brother by two years, smiling oddly at her.

She looked down contemplatively at her skirt and then around her for anything that might be out of place. When she found nothing, she looked back at him in question.

Colton ran his hands through his thick, black hair and chuckled at her confusion. "It's nothin'. Just every time I see ya, you're brushin' that dang horse. It's kinda cute."

River blushed shyly and turned back to Jayne, hiding the smile on her face.

---

For the sixth time since River disembarked form Serenity, she was stagnant.

This time she was on some godforsaken moon called Ita. Scavengers from all parts of the 'verse flocked here to pick the bones off the dead and living alike. I wasn't the sort of place anyone wanted to be stranded.

Kaylee, Zoë, and Mal had spent all day plucking through the already thoroughly foraged junkyards while the rest stayed behind to guard the ship. They had already been to the poor, run down excuse for a town and could find nothing.

Kaylee kicked at the broken pieces of piping and scrap and sighed. "I just don't get it cap'n. It's like we're cursed or somethin'."

"Don't be sayin' no such thing, lil' Kaylee. There are parts about. We just ain't lookin' hard enough."

Cap, everythin' here is ground to bits. There's nothin'. It ain't just that neither. Serenity's never been broken up this bad. She's sick somethin' fierce an' somethin' tells me she ain't gonna make it this time."

Zoe noticed the familiar angry set jaw on the captain and stepped in to save the mechanic from a mouth full. "Kaylee's right, Sir. Things are bad. Gonna get shoddier to if we do nothing. We need a plan B."

Mal looked between the girls' tired, grease stained faces and set his irritation aside. Deep down he knew they were right, but the fight in him was hard to contain, especially when it came to his ship's and his crew's survival.

He didn't understand why their luck had been so bad lately. If he believed in karma, religion or anything for that matter, it might be easier to make sense of it all.

All he knew was that things had gone from bad to worse the day River took one of the shuttles and flew away in the opposite direction.

Just thinking about those soft, brown eyes, as mournful as they were the day she left, sent a sharp pang throughout his chest.

Regret was a constant disease for him. There were so many things he could have handled differently in his life and this was just one more. He felt black inside, like most of him was dead or dying.

Shadows had begun to creep over the junkyard as the sun disappeared behind the towering mounds of scrap. It would be dark soon and Mal knew they needed to get back before the scum came out to play with their lives.

Letting out a deep breath, he addressed the weary girls. "Fine. We'll come back at first light. If there's nothing, it's plan B."

---

River and Colton sat on the front porch of the Frye's simple 4-square style home eating their supper in mutual silence. The late afternoon sun illuminated everything in deep golds and oranges, making it appear as if the fields were ablaze. The light rustling of trees or a distant moo from the cattle were the only natural music to fill the air.

River absentmindedly picked at her food as she stared off down the long dirt road that lead from the house. Once again Colton startled her from distant thoughts. These self-induced abstractions were happening more frequently lately and she couldn't determine why.

"Fine supper, Miss River. You're becoming quite the cook."

River looked to the boy next to her on the porch stoop and smiled her thanks. "It's just River. No prefixes necessary."

"Sorry. It's hard to break free from the habits you're raised with. I'll be less formal from now on, promise." More pearly whites were flashed her way, making her nervous and causing her to look down at her cold plate of food.

Once again, she returned her gaze to the lonely road ahead. The logical part of her knew exactly where the road led but the illusory part feared its foreign twists and turns as it led far off into the unknown.

Colton noticed River's despondent demeanor and chanced a guess as to the reason. "I miss her too, ya know."

"Kaylee?"

"Yeah. Was just a scrappy little teenager when she took to the sky. You remind me a bit of her, in a less talkative more intense sort of way. You both bring life to this place."

River couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Most would say I bring destruction."

Colton arched his eyebrow in disbelief as he eyed River's petite form up and down. "Alright, If you say so."

River was desperate to change the subject. None of them needed to know the other side of her temperament, the part that had a deadly aim and inhuman reflexes. "What was it like when Kaylee resided here?"

"I don't know. Sunnier, brighter, I guess. Ma and Pa had a bit more spark to them when she was around. She'd always be helpin' pa down at the shop, but when the business failed we figured ranchin' would be the more profitable way to go. We was always tryin' to get her to help out but she never bit. Most of the time we'd find her hangin' around the shipyard or the docks in the city. Pa's been real quiet since she left. We all knew she would eventually, her bein' a restless sprit an' all."

"What about you? Ever want to escape?"

"Naw, I like it right fine here. 'Sides, someone has to look after the folks."

"But if you didn't have too?"

"Well, I reckon I wouldn't mind traveling a spell, see what Kaylee's always trillin' on about. Gotta be somethin' wonderful up there to keep ya'll in the black for so long."

River tilted her head back and set her gaze to the cool blue sky, imagining past the atmosphere and into the vast galaxy beyond. Colton's words evoked memories that flooded through her mind like a dream, instantly waking a part of her she had almost forgotten since arriving.

"I'm talkin' too much, ain't I?" Colton asked when he noticed he had lost River's attention once again.

River pulled her eyes from the heavens and the door to her dormant memories slammed shut. "No, I enjoy your company. It's a pleasant distraction."

"Distraction from what? If you don't mind my asking it."

"The past, the future, the truth."

"Sounds involved."

"It's complicated."

"Well, you have the right to your secrets. Just glad you're here, been a big help to us. Also, I ain't ever seen one horse so thoroughly groomed." He teased.

River stood up, suddenly feeling embarrassed by all the flattery and reached for his plate. "Thanks. But I'm the one indebted." Colton rose with her, both holding on to the dish. "I got it. You cooked, let me wash up."

They were face-to-face, so close she could make out the tiny, scattered freckles dotting his young, tanned face.

River froze, gripping the plate fiercely as she read the intent sparkling in his hazel eyes. Panic hammered away at her insides as he leaned in. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the kiss and feeling for all the world out of place.

She waited.

"River?"

Opening her eyes slowly, she found Colton standing back and looking utterly perplexed. "River, you're crying."

Using her free hand, she brought it up to her face to find her cheeks damp.

"You don't want to kiss me, do you?"

River shook her head and looked down. "I'm sorry."

"He's a lucky Man. The one ya keep looking down the road for."

River looked up with a faint smile on her lips, and corrected him, pointing her finger upwards towards the sky.

---

They had all slept in shifts that night, making sure someone was awake at all times to listen out for bandits. Morning came slowly and tediously, and fortunately, without anything particularly eventful going down. If they spent one more night on the wretched planet, Mal wasn't so sure they'd be as lucky.

Before they once again headed out to scour for engine parts, Mal decided it was better not to waste time and implemented plan B. He sent multiple waves out, requesting assistance and parts from Porfiro and Otis co-pilots of the ship Ariane, Monty and his boat the Duran, and Marceline and her ship, Siu.

He had learned from experience that it was safer to seek help from those he knew and could trust. Having worked with these particular Captains and crews before, he felt comfortable with this course of action. He just hoped one of them was nearby enough to come to their aid soon.

By noon, nothing had materialized and they were all weary and beat down with disappointment. Mal sat down on an old hunk of something he couldn't make out and rubbed his hands through his hair in frustration. It was then his radio crackled and Jayne's voice boomed out loud and clear. "Mal, you there? What's yer location? Over."

Mal adjusted the speaker in his ear as he scanned the ugly, grey scrap yard, irritably kicking an old tire out of the way before answering sarcastically. "Happened ourselves upon some fine establishment. We're all sittin' back, drinkin' rich wine and eatin' fine cheeses. Just havin' ourselves a merry old time. Wish ya coulda been here."

There was a moment's pause before the static returned and the merc answered back. "Really? Bring us back some of that will ya? Over."

Mal sighed, irritated. "Jayne, there something in particular you need?"

"Yeah, Mal. I mean, affirmative. Monty answered yer wave just now. Said he were just a few clicks away an' ta sit tight. Hey, do they have those meats on a stick where yer at? Over."

Mal rolled his eyes and responded. "We're headin' back just now, an' stop usin' codewords. It ain't necessary."

"Rodger that."

---

River tossed and turned in her sleep, whimpering as panicked dreams raced behind her eyelids.

She was lost in the woods. It was cold, dark and a feeling of utter desolation hollowed her heart. The massive trees creaked and howled as a bitter wind ripped through them. Some were so hideous they looked as if the might come alive. Her long, white gown repeatedly became ensnared in the undergrowth as she twisted and turned her way through the jumbled maze.

River closed her eyes and wished herself awake. A distant part of her knew this must be a dream, that it couldn't be real. Then she felt the hot sting of her tears as they ran down her frozen cheeks. Terror sized her mind as she realized that tears were tangible.

Hours passed as minutes in her alternate reality, the clock to doom dreadfully ticking down. She was beginning to lose hope of ever finding her way out. She thought about all the things she would miss as she died alone in the middle of nothing. Faces of all the people she had ever loved faded away along with her faith.

When she came to a small, misted clearing, her heart hoped for a moment at escape until she spied more thick, snarling trees just beyond. She was completely surrounded.

Crumpling to the ground, River pressed her face into the earth as she sobbed. She didn't want to be alone anymore. The remembrance of something wonderful contrasted painfully with her current state.

She had run from the light before she could appreciate its warmth and now she agonizingly felt its loss.

The loss was of a man that cherished her mind, body and soul. A man that saw her for what she really was and never pushed her away.

In this dark place, she realized it was him she had needed all along. She was lost, and the woods were the only place where he could see a clear path.

River gasped as she shot straight up in bed, her dreams and realizations choking the air from her lungs. Her heart pounded with a clear definitive truth and an aching need to immediately see, touch and hold the man she loved with all her heart.

---

They had gotten back to the ship just as Monty and the crew he sailed with arrived. The large man came stomping down the ramp, heartily bellowing his greetings. "Malcolm! Been too long, you old knocker!"

Mal smiled and tried to sound enthusiastic. He was relieved to see the big lug, really. It was just hard for him to actually feel any of these things. "Monty. Thanks for comin' to our aide. Hope we didn't inconvenience you none."

"No trouble at all. Was in yer corner of space. Guess it's yer lucky day!" The two old friends embraced and then Monty took his turn greeting the rest of the crew that had joined the captain to welcome him.

"Hey, where's your lady, Reynolds? Last time we spoke, you mentioned ya had ya self a girl. Name was somethin' peculiar like, Lake 'r Ocean." Monty looked around for the small, dark-haired hair beauty as she had been described.

"River." Jayne grumbled as he tinkered with Vera.

Mal looked a moment at Jayne, who was doing his best at keeping himself occupied with his weapon, and then turned his attention back to Monty. "It's a long story full of woe. Ain't one I really want to get into."

Kaylee sensed the captain's tension and spoke up to satisfy Monty's honest query. "River left us to go stay on world a while back."

"That so? Well, s'long as she ain't parked on Aberdeen, I reckon it's better than bein' here, by the sounds of y'all's misfortunes."

Simon stepped forward in alarm. "Back up a second. Aberdeen? Why would it be best if my sister were not there in particular?"

"Just before we got yer call fer help, saw us a news broadcast over the Cortex sayin' something 'bout Reavers bein' in da area." Monty answered. "Stood out, 'Cause they ain't ever come that far in afore."

Everyone reacted at once. Kaylee's face dropped as her eyes widened in fright. Simon paled as he turned to hug his wife.

Zoë bristled a bit as she looked to Jayne and the Captain for their reactions before speaking up. "That's exactly where River's situated. What's more, it's Kaylee's kin she's stayin' with."

Jayne's voice was grave. "There a chance they could be wrong? I mean, on occasion these things git exaggerated."

Monty looked at the big guy with the utmost seriousness. "Don't think so, son."

Kaylee turned to the captain, tears already working themselves down her face as she pleaded. "Cap'n, we gotta…"

Mal's expression was grim. "I know, Kaylee." With a pleading look he turned to his longtime friend. "Monty, I understand this is askin' a lot…"

Monty cut him off. "Then ya don't gotta to ask it, Reynolds. You've been there high tide when I needed ya, just glad to repay the deed. You'll have to leave your ship, though. Can't guarantee she'll be here when we get back. If we get back."

Mal turned and looked up at his boat. "Guess I'll just have to take that chance."

---

A gush of turbulent wind ripped through the fields as the deafening roar of an engine caused the cattle to scatter and run towards the hills. River dismounted her horse and looked to the sky, shielding her eyes from the sun until a massive ship darkened the blue above her.

It flew steadily overhead and then past the farmhouse, starting its descent just beyond. The ship felt vaguely familiar but she couldn't be sure.

The only weapon she had on her was a small knife strapped to her leg just inside her boot. Kneeling down, she withdrew the blade and proceeded with caution towards the house, leading Jayne by the reins.

When River reached the side of the house, she quickly tied the animal up and pressed her back up against the wall, slowly edging her way towards the corner. It was then she heard Mal barking orders to check the house, and then Kaylee's baffled declaration that nothing looked a speck out of place.

A wide smile broke across River's face and her heart started to pound at hearing the familiar voices. Emerging from around the corner, she found everyone not ten feet away, their weapons drawn and proceeding with caution in her direction.

Jayne was the first to spot her and lower his weapon to his side. He strode forward and scooped her up with his free arm into a hug. She gently hugged him back, a million and one things curiously running through her mind.

"River!" Kaylee exclaimed as she made her way over and joined in on the embrace. "You're alive!"

River stepped back and cocked her head to the side in puzzlement. "You expected to find me deceased?"

Jayne shot Kaylee a look. "It ain't like she's helpless. Prolly have a better chance of makin' it more'n anyone here."

Mal and Simon joined them. Zoe had disappeared around the house to survey the grounds. Simon stepped forward next to hug his sister and inspect her up and down. Instinctually he checked her face, hands and arms for anything out of place. River anxiously pulled her hands from his grasp, eager to know why they were here. "Simon, I'm alright. What's this about? Where's Serenity?"

River turned from Simon to meet the captain's eyes, her own full of questions. The world seemed to fade away a moment as they took in one another.

Mal was quick to answer her question. "We got word not two days ago that Reavers were headed this way."

As he spoke, his eyes were locked with hers as if they we the only two people in existence. "Serenity's a bust as of now, dead in the water. Monty was so kind as to come to our rescue. We came swift as his ship could sail us, thinkin' you was in peril. Must say, we pretty much expected to drop down into either havoc or aftermath. Glad to find it's neither."

Merely seeing the girl that tormented his soul for so long, standing there unharmed, helped drained some of the tension from his body.

God, how he had missed her. Missed her long brown hair always flying wildly about. Missed those flimsy, little dresses she was always wearing come rain or shine. Missed her large, brown eyes as they pierced his soul with their weighty depth.

In this very moment he missed her more than ever, despite being just an arm's breadth away.

River was in a daze. He was really here. He had come to save her again, rescue her body and hopefully now her heart. She smiled brightly and stepped closer towards him, never breaking their gaze as she put them all at ease with her words. "Would have felt them coming. That's what I was constructed for, to sense their rage. There is no danger here."

Before River had a chance to convey to Mal exactly just how much she needed him, a blood-curtailing scream erupted from the house.

Mrs. Frye came running out with Monty in pursuit. "Woman, I done told you I ain't here ta hurt a hair on yer head! Quit yer bellowing! Yer gonna attract da beasts!"

Kaylee rushed forward to her mother's aid and grabbed her hands. The woman was deathly pale and looked as if she might faint at any moment.

"Hordes of strange men…big guns." Mrs. Frye tried to catch her breath as she did a double take. It was just dawning on her that her daughter was here in the flesh.

Kaylee put a comforting arm around her mother. "Mom, dontchya worry none. Things are shiny. We's just here because we thought Reavers were gonna eat ya'll alive."

"Oh. Ok." The woman answered complacently, still in a stupor.

Mrs. Frye soon began to regain her composure, excitement filling in at finally seeing her long-lost daughter. The jolly woman smiled big as she hugged her baby tight and she chattered on. "I can't believe ya'll are here! It's been too long, Kaywinnet! Let me have a good lookin' at ya. You're a bit on the skinny side, ain't ya? That captain of yours ain't given you enough to eat. No matter, we'll fill you up right good. Now, where's that fine husband of yours? An' my grand babe? He ain't alone on the ship, is he?"

"No, ma. Our pilot's lookin' after him. Come, meet Simon." Kaylee chirped with pride as she proceeded to introduce her mother to her husband and the rest of the crew.

Monty sidestepped the woman who was hollering at him not just a minute before and stood next to Mal. "Coast clear then, Reynolds?"

"Looks like."

They both watched as Jayne hugged River once more and as they began to converse with each other. River's face lit up as she thought of her most telling news. "I named my horse after you. Come meet her."

"Her?" Jayne puzzled.

River smiled roguishly up at the mercenary. "Yes. Jayne is a girls name."

"Girl, you ever gonna quit with that?"

"Nope. Come on, you'll like her. She starts trouble with the other horses." River pulled on Jayne's shirt as he begrudgingly followed. "Quit that! Yer strechin' the fabric," he complained, acting for all the world put out, despite the small, hidden smile on his face.

"Them two are sure close." Monty observed.

Mal sighed. "You have no idea."

---

Everyone sat around the bonfire, talking in turn, merrily telling stories and all feeling relieved the day hadn't turned out worse than originally feared.

The fire crackled and sent squiggly sparks shooting into the air as Mal pushed the wood around with a long tree branch.

River peered through the flames and observed a slight smile on Mal's face as he kept himself occupied by the blaze. At the moment he was amused by Mrs. Fry's cheery retelling of River's first time milking their grumpy dairy cow, Wilma.

Mal was thinking about how cute she must have looked while trying to work out the logistics to no avail. It led him think about how happy she must have been to finally get away and live somewhere normal.

The smile faded from his face as the heart sinking realization set in that the girl was contented here. In the back of his mind he had secretly hoped that perhaps she had been as miserable as he had been in the months past.

Doubt and discouragement poured off the man across from her as she watched the beam on his handsome face fade. River's heart screamed to her to go to the very person who made her skin pulse with life and ease his suffering with the truth she could hardly contain.

Just then, her thoughts of Mal were interrupted by Jayne's deep belly laugh. He smiled and winked at her when she turned to look at him. Dread reared it's ugly head as she realized there was something else she needed to take care of. She owed him that much.

Leaning in, she whispered into his ear. "May we talk?"

Jayne noticed the concern on River's face as he answered back. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Not here, somewhere private." River stood and grabbed the merc's hand, pulling him away from the chattering and laughter into the dim fields beyond.

Mal looked up just in time to see River lead Jayne away. His whole body went weak at the sight. The last twinge of hope he might have possessed disappeared into the night with the couple .

When they reached one of the post fences, River stopped and climbed up, perching herself on the wood railing. Tilting her head back, she let the thousands of glittering stars fill her vision before she took a deep breath and looked at resolutely at Jayne. "I need you to do something for me."

Jayne crossed his arms and leaned against the fence. "Anything. You name it."

"Do you really mean that? You have to mean it." She asked in all seriousness.

"Know I'd do just about anything fer ya. Shoot." Jayne said casually, but he was getting the nagging feeling that maybe he should have said no or something. The girl was looking at him all peculiar like and that didn't bode well with how he'd thought this little talk would go.

"Alright." She sucked in another breath before asking more of Jayne than she ever had before. "I need you to let go."

"Come again?" He had heard her loud and clear. It was just taking a little time to fully register the actual words.

"Break free. Move on. Cut the ties that bind." River rambled nervously, her whole body tensed and waiting for turbulence to erupt.

Jayne's expression hardened as he stared off into the night.

"Jayne?" she urged, worried. Quiet was more frightening than anger.

"Hush, girl! I'm thinkin'."

Of all the things he never knew he wanted, a shiny girl to spend whatever numbered days he had left with was the most surprising. But he'd be a fool not to know that the gig was up, to know when there weren't nothing left.

He turned to the girl who drove him mad in every way since the very beginning. It was his turn to ask a question, one for which he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. "Ya really love him, dontchya?"

"Yes." River avowed with total certainty.

"An' this'll make ya happy, me walkin' away?"

"Not happy. This isn't easy for me. Would never have been confused if you didn't affect me." She looked at Jayne compassionately, the first man by whom she had been enraptured. Beneath his detached façade, there really was a good person waiting to be discovered.

Jayne sighed. "Guess I really blew it, huh?"

"Tragic misstep of time and circumstances."

The bewildered expression on his face prompted her to reiterate. "Poor timing."

"Yeah, I guess. Coulda treated ya better."

"We can't undo the past. Yours is an unhealthy progression of thoughts," she schooled, in her all-knowing, bratty manner.

"Can't ya let a man wallow a bit?" He griped.

River poked at his shoulder. "It's not befitting of you."

Jayne kicked at the ground, digging a hole in the dirt with his boot. They were both silent a while, neither of them knowing what to say next.

River hopped down from the fence and grabbed his large hand, pulling him with her back to the group.

As they walked, River broke the silence with encouraging guidance. "There will be other fish, ones less inclined to sporadic psychotic episodes."

"Somehow, I doubt it." Jayne squeezed her hand. "Yer the only moon brain worth puttin' up with. Don't right think I'll ever find a girl as crazy as you."

"You could opt for sanity." she teased.

He smiled a sad smile. "Overrated."

They were nearing the group, which had greatly diminished since they had left.

"Jayne?" River swung his arm back and forth.

"Um?" He absentmindedly swung back.

"I'll never stop loving you."

"I know it."

---

When River awoke the next morning, she quickly dressed herself and hurried down the stairs to find Mal.

When she gotten back to the bonfire the previous night, he was already gone. She had searched for him endlessly before finally giving up and going to bed.

Her whole body coursed with eagerness. It was finally the right time for them. She had come a long way since the first night they held each other as lovers. It had felt right from the very beginning and she wondered how could she have ignored that. Denying what was there all along had already wasted too much time. Things were crystal clear now and this time she would get it right.

At last, she found Mal, helping Monty load some crates containing fresh produce into the cargo hold. Slowing cautiously as she approached, she looked up at the massive ship that looked like it was nearly ready for departure.

Mal noticed River standing at the entrance of the ship. He tried not to look, but there she was looking more beautiful than ever. Her dark hair hung loosely over a pale yellow sundress that billowed in the breeze. He also noticed that her skin had a deeper tone to it now, no doubt from being out in the sun these past months.

She looked healthy. Her body filled out the dress with a new found curviness and it took all he had to pull his eyes away from her form. She was Jayne's now, and he wasn't going to get in the way of that.

When the last crate had been stacked, Mal dusted his hands on his jacket and addressed his friend. "That's about the last of it. Ready when you are. Kaylee an' the doc are stayin' behind. Trust you'll let us borrow your mechanic to get Serenity up an' runnin' again?

"Will do. That is, if she's still 'n attendance." The larger man exclaimed.

Mal raised his eyebrows at the man. "Got two of your very capable men guarding her. We better hope, or you're out a pair."

River couldn't believe her eyes. She watched helplessly as Mal made his plans to leave without her. Her lead-heavy heart felt like it had dropped to her toes as he continued to ignore her presence.

A heavy haze swept over her body as she realized that he didn't care for her anymore. Fate was dealing the most fitting punishment for her crime. Tears unconsciously spilled down her cheeks as she just stood there, feeling like someone on the outside looking in.

As if in a dream, she turned away. There was no way she could bear to watch while Mal took off into the sky. She had to get away quickly, be anywhere other than in this day.

---

Jayne stalked up to the ship, his imposing mass commanding attention. "What the ruttin' hell is goin' on!"

Mal looked flabbergasted. "Uh, we're gettin' ready to make way."

"Girl just ran past me in tears. What'd you do?" He bellowed.

"Didn't do nothing other than load up. Shouldn't you be runnin' after her or something?" Mal casually instructed as he kept himself busy securing the cargo. He had to keep his mind occupied just a bit longer, at least until they were off world.

Jayne's face wrinkled up in confusion. "Huh? Gorramit Mal, quit playin' games."

The captain let out a breath of annoyance as he secured the last strap in place. "Let me put it simple so as you can understand. You see your girl cryin', you run after her."

"One problem with that. She ain't my girl ta be runnin' after. But hey, if you don't want her, mebbie I can take another stab at it."

Mal was taken aback. He had plainly and clearly seen River lead Jayne by the hand to god knows where last night. It tore him up to have to see that, so much so that he had quietly slipped away early from the festivities. He needed to take a nice, long, moonlit walk to mull things over.

During his trek, he decided that no matter how he felt, he wasn't going to interfere with the girl's happiness, and if that was with Jayne, so be it. Except what the merc was now saying seemed to contradict that notion.

Jayne stood back and watched as Mal finally caught on and shook his head. "She don't want me, dumb ass. She wants you. We was sayin' good bye."

Mal's ears were ringing pleasantly as the meaning of Jayne's words fully sunk in. "Huh. How about that." He smiled smugly. Then it faded as another thought entered his head. "Whaddya mean you was sayin' good bye? What does that mean exactly?"

Jayne smirked. "Yer wastin' time. The girl's prolly all heartbroken, thinkin' ya don't want her, and yer busy worryin' 'bout what ya don't need ta be worryin' on anymore."

Motivated by a new rush of adrenalin, Mal snapped out of that train of thought and immediately went into action. "Right. Where's Zoë?" He looked around the cargo bay before shouting at the top of his lungs, "Zoë! Where the Sam hell are you at?"

His second in command came up hurriedly from the back of the ship, looking anxious as she eyed the larger man standing next to him wearily. "What is it, Sir? You need me to deal with Jayne again?

"As if." Jayne scoffed, crossing his arms pompously across his chest.

Zoë raised her eyebrow and looked Jayne up and down. "You know I can hurt you."

"There will be no hurtin' going on." Mal said as he smirked. Yep, he was going to miss this. He looked pointedly at Jayne and then Zoë as he made the revelation he had been contemplating for some time now. "Need ya'll to get along since you're going to be crewin' my ship together."

"Sir?"

"Serenity's yours, Zoë." Mal announced proudly. "You've been loyal to me far as I can remember. 'Bout time you have somethin' of your own. Jayne gets 25 for not being too much of a pain in the ass."

Zoe nodded her thanks, a wall as always, but Mal knew she was glowing inside. Jayne didn't know what to think, other than maybe the captain wasn't such a prick after all.

Mal turned to his hired gun now made second in command. "Now Jayne, I don't want you murderin' Zoe in her sleep just so as you can take over. 'Cause, you know, she can hurt you."

Jayne smirked as he eyed Zoe contemplatively. "Wouldn't think of it."

"So, you'll be stayin' then, sir. For good?" Zoë inquired, wondering if and when she might ever see Mal again.

"I am." He affirmed, never more certain. "Gettin' to old for the thieving business. Had the notion I might try my hand at some honest work for a change."

Mal began to back out of the ship, owning the widest grin Zoe had ever seen on the captain. " 'Sides, did ya hear? I got myself a girl."

---

River ran and didn't stop until she heard the roar of Monty's ship lift into the sky and then the deafening sound faded away along with all of her strength.

Dropping to the ground, she curled against the earth and freed the wall of tears she'd been holding. The time that passed no longer seemed important. She had lost everything.

Just like in his dream, he found her crying in the middle of the field, her face hidden behind massive amounts of hair as she pressed it to the earth.

Except, this time it was all sunny, there were no mist or trees, and her dress was yellow not white.

He knelt down by her side and placed his hand on her heaving back. He could feel the warmth of her body through his hand. She was so fragile under his touch.

Mal smiled as he spoke affably. "You're acting like you went and lost the love of your life or somethin'. Can't be all that bad, darlin'. Heard the guy was a bit of an hun dan, anyways."

River sat straight up, coming face to face with Mal, a look of shock adorning her dirty, tear-streaked face. Reaching out, she grabbed a hold of him to make sure he was real. After all, she had listened to the ship take off with her captain in it.

As it fully sank in, River let out a sob and flung herself against Mal, almost knocking him back. He laughed as he steadied himself and took her up in his arms, kissing the top of her sun-baked head.

They stayed like this for a while, enjoying the gratifying feeling of just holding one another. River continued to cry and mutter inaudible things into his chest, soaking his shirt. Mal stroked the back of her hair and held her as tight as he could without squeezing the life out of her. "Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere."

River nodded her head against him and slowly released her grip, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes. Mal cupped her face and leaned down, kissing her cool, damp cheeks. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips spark against her skin. Slowly, he worked the small kisses towards her mouth until he found her lips, kissing her long and deep.

As they became submerged in the moment, in the long awaited and desperately needed contact, the tender warmth generated from their sweet tasting kiss radiated slowly throughout their bodies, blanketing their skin with the heat of all the love they ever felt for one another.

Softly, their lips broke apart and they shared a smile of understanding and newfound happiness. River reached up and brushed her fingers lightly across Mal's forehead, touching on his thoughts. "You gave up Serenity."

Mal smiled lovingly down at the girl he cherished more than anything in the 'verse. "Lost my ship's good luck. Couldn't keep her in the air without it." Leaning down, he set his mouth next to her ear and whispered gently. "Seems there's a girl I loved more."

---