Epilogue Mostly Mal/River
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The monotone buzzing of crickets echoed through the still, midsummers air. The atmosphere was thick, humid, dry, and scorching all at the same time. River worked steadily, scraping the dry mud from the worn crevices of her horse's old shoe. Her labored breaths drew in the pungent smells from the sun-baked earth and muggy barn, the mixture of odors mutually foul and nauseatingly sweet.
The intense heat caused the sweat to pool along her bare neck and trickle down her spine, the sensation reminding her of gentle fingers sliding down her back. At the suggestive thought, she puffed away the loose strands of hair that had fallen across her face and looked up from shoeing her horse to scan the yard for a bare-chested Mal.
In the past hour, he hadn't moved from his position helping Mr. Fry and Simon repair a fence damaged by the last thunderstorm. A leathered cowboy hat rested low over his brow, which was knitted in concentration as he knelt down on one knee, hammering away at a fence post.
The mere sight of him submerged her in endorphins, and in that solitary moment, the heat, pain and discomfort of the day were lost in the natural rush.
Turning her attention back to her horse, River gently let down the animal's hoof, and calmingly slid her hand up the creature's powerful leg and patted its rear as she thanked her for her patience.
She had named the animal after Jayne, and whenever she spent time with her, she couldn't help but think of him. The small ember in her heart told her he was alive and she hoped that instinctual spark would always remain.
Occasionally, she wondered how different things would be if she had ultimately chosen to be with the merciless killer. A smile haunted her lips, because deep down she knew he would have tried in his way to make her happy.
Her love for him had been set free, but there would always be a part of her that he owned, and that part could never forget him.
River sighed as her reflections faded away and her corporeal needs caught up with her. She felt heavy and weighed down, her mouth uncomfortably parched. Making her way to the water pump, she first washed the dirt from her hands before cupping the cool water to her lips and letting the revitalizing substance trickle down her throat. The last handful she used to splashed across her face and neck, appreciating the brief but refreshing relief from the heat.
Standing upright, she magnetically returned her gaze to Mal, appreciating with acute detail the way his muscles strained and contracted with each swinging motion. Every time the hammerhead made solid contact, the sharp clang jolted her heart and awakened every nerve in her body. The ready woman in her languished at the sight, a man hers by vow but not confirmed by the physical.
The weeks past had her on pins and needles. Pent up desire and longing overwhelmed her thoughts and she often found herself lost in a trance of enticing fantasy.
Waves of his yearning often flooded her mind as well, and on occasion, one glance her way would send her body reeling, trembling uncontrollably with want.
She had always been a physical creature, connecting with the world around her through touch and sensation, desperately trying to reconnect with all that had abandoned her. This deprivation was a new kind of cruel and she didn't know how much longer she could respect the Frye's old-fashioned wishes for them to remain abstinent while in their home.
Every night after the house had fallen asleep, Mal had crept down the dark, narrow hall, stealthily opening the old-creaky door to River's room, and eagerly slipped into bed beside her.
Once she felt his body encompass hers, every tense muscle relaxed as she sank into the pleasant abyss of strong arms and a fast beating heart.
Sometimes his lips would trail across her neck and find her lips, a sweet and long awaited haven after a hard day's work. Hands would work themselves over arching, clothed bodies, eagerly keening to the slightest touch. Each night they ventured a bit farther, bordering dangerously close to the precipice.
In the heat of the moment, it was almost easy not to care, rebels born to break the rules, but a fine line of guilt always formed the final barrier between right and rapture. Kaylee's parents had been kind enough to offer them a place to stay. At the very least, they could respect their wishes.
Mal finished driving in the last nail and stood up, slowly stretching out the kink in his sore back. Taking a work rag out of his pocket, he wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead before searching the grounds for the little leggy creature he was already beginning to miss.
He quickly found her leaning up against the side of the barn in the protection of the shade, looking inquisitively at him. His insides smiled at the sight of her, hair piled high, and her thin, white sundress mucked up by ranch life. Internally, he noted that once he saved up enough, he'd take her in to the city and buy her some new things. He wanted to do nothing more than take care of her, give her the world, no matter how small it was.
It was ironic how uncomplicated his priorities had become now, he was finally experiencing how the other half lived. For once, it felt liberating not having the weight of the 'verse bearing down upon his shoulders.
Mal fought long and hard his whole life for survival. He waded through a treacherous existence seeking only the bare necessities out of life, searching for redemption in all that he had lost along the way.
His journey had been hard and fast, and at the crossroads, everything became a might clearer when he found her on the ample path. Is that what love did to a man? It was always his supposition that it fogged things up, messed with the order of things. Maybe it did and he was too busy living in oblivion to notice.
Life seemed to come full circle. After losing so many that he cared for, no matter how hard he tried to pretend, being in the black no longer felt the same. Too much of him had died along with his family and Serenity felt like a hollow existence of her former glory.
This is not to say he didn't miss his ship, feel the loss of her engine coursing through his veins. Doubts occasionally edged his happiness as experience told him he could never fully be ignorant of life's inability to give a happy ending.
Some days, he questioned his choices as he faced the unknown and a life that hadn't been familiar to him since he was an adolescent, all bright-eyed and bushytailed. A life on world could be equally difficult, if not more arduous, because on land you cannot run and hide from your problems.
However, as he looked at River, he knew that love was no longer a mirage. Even through the heat, the beauty and certainty of her never wavered or faded away. The only thing he was afraid of losing now stood ten paces ahead, and for once in his life he was going to let go of ambiguity and allow his heart to shape things to come.
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Mal proudly threaded his fingers through River's underneath the dining table, her upturned palm resting on her thigh as she balanced her nephew sitting on her lap in her right arm.
The temperateness of the day had gone to all of their heads like a good bottle of moonshine, everyone in an easy, giddy mood. The mirth during supper held a different pitch than that aboard Serenity but it was comprised of equal merriment.
Short bursts of laughter were awarded to the finest jester, and currently, the title was coveted by Colton, who was giving Simon a hard time about his ranching skills.
"Colton! You leave the poor man alone this minute!" Mrs. Frye scolded her son with all the seriousness she could muster, but couldn't help the powerful urge to smile along with the rest of them.
The boy's face was filled with gaiety. "Can't help it, Ma. You shoulda seen him chasin' all them steers into the brush. Had 'em all scattered like church goers come Sunday!" Colton defended as he doubled over, holding his gut in laughter.
Kaylee held her hand over her mouth, poorly concealing her amusement at Simon's expense. At the same time, she felt badly for her husband. He was trying so hard to fit in, but the image of him getting tangled up in the brush, frantically chasing down the cattle was just too adorable to resist a smile or two.
Mal and Mr. Fry were laughing so hard at the hilarious recollection that they had to wipe the tears from their eyes.
"All right, all right. Stop. I admit, I'm a poor equestrian. Are we done now?" Simon appealed, his skin flushed pink with embarrassment.
"Almost, Doc. Hold up." Mal was smirking as he held his finger up and waited out a silent pause for affect, and then conceded. "Alright, done. We've picked ya apart enough for one night. Gotta save some for the 'morrow, anyhow."
"That's very kind of you." Simon responded with a hint of sarcasm.
"I think you were much improved, Simon." River avowed as she looked up from baby she had been occupied with.
Caleb was delicately plucking pieces of food off her plate and carefully tasting them before wrinkling up his little face and with a look of hope, offering the rejected bits up to his aunt instead.
Simon dabbed the corners of his mouth and placed the napkin next to his plate as he smiled gratefully at his sister. "Thank you, River."
River tilted her head and announced proudly as if complementing a small child. "You stayed on the horse this time."
The whole table erupted in laughter once again as Simon just bowed down and shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. Startled, Caleb stopped trying to smash bits of bread into River's mouth and curiously looked from face to laughing face, trying to figure out why it suddenly got so loud.
As the hilarity died down, Mal turned to his right and watched as River lifted the baby up and blew raspberries on his little belly, causing him to giggle infectiously.
Conversation resumed around them as he became lost in the moment. Seeing River interact with the little one got him thinking about things he never had much time to contemplate before. Things he never thought he wanted or had resigned to not possess long ago.
It was easy to see the natural mother she'd make and he silently wondered if that sort of life would ever be right for them. As if on cue, River turned to Mal while bouncing Caleb on her knee. She smiled prettily as she leaned in and whispered. "I would like three."
Mal couldn't help an ample smile at her enthusiasm. "Um. Three, now." He drawled out slowly, as if in contemplation. "Would that be all at once, darlin'?" He teased.
A new emotion filled her with delight. The easy acceptance of her request proved that despite her inability in the past to function normally, he saw her as someone capable. His confidence in her helped quell the fear that the confusion might return and spiral her once again into the vortex of her jumbled mind.
Mal draped his arm around across the back of her chair and leaned in, offering a finger to baby Caleb who instantly grabbed it and examined the odd thing with curious fascination.
River felt herself flush as Mal leaned into her personal space, the nearness of him always causing a potent, physical reaction. She watched his features relax and become jovial as he interacted with the little one. Her heart swelled with love at the sight. Impulsively, she bridged the small gap between them and placed a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth.
As she pulled away, they both gazed at one another as if under some distant spell, and shared a smile that encompassed more than words ever could.
---
River closed her eyes upon Mal's request, and let the silky, flexible material be draped across her eyelids. He securely fastened it in a tight knot behind her head, careful not to tangle her hair. She shivered at his vague touch and the thrill of existing in blackness, in having to rely solely on her trust of him.
The air had cooled dramatically, but the heat left behind rose from the earth and reminded the evening of the day. River breathed in deep, wordlessly calculating how many different odors she could identify as Mal placed his hands on the outside of her bare arms and lead her towards what smelled like his horse.
She felt his warm breath tickle her ear as he spoke next to it. "Now, as tempting as it may be, no peeking." He swept her up in his arms effortlessly, the feeling leaving her spun about.
"Your thoughts are naked. Cannot blindfold the mind." River stated straightforwardly as she wrapped her slim arms around his neck.
Mal cocked his eyebrow at his masked beauty and he placed her foot in the stirrup, guiding her as she swung her leg over the animal and mounted. "If it were that easy, lil one, think it would've saved us a more'n heap once upon a time."
River frowned, he was right. As much as she would like to think she could employ her abilities at will, most of the information that came to her was sporadic and fragmented. Simon had rescued her before they could finish either fine-tuning her metal capabilities or turning her into pure mush.
"A hint?" River asked impatiently from her high perch. Her insides were doing fuzzy flips at the unidentified.
"Nope." Mal answered simply as he carefully positioned himself in the saddle in front of River. His solid presence filled the void and she instinctually wrapped her arms around his waist. Leaning her cheek against the warm fabric of his shirt, she was instantly comforted by his strength.
It felt good to have her hold on so tight as if she desperately needed him to be safe despite her astounding ability for self-preservation. Mal sighed as he resisted the urge to ruin his carefully kept secret and addressed the girl clinging to him.
"Ain't a surprise if ya know the details. Won't be but a spell. You just hold on tight now." He instructed as he kicked his horse firmly and they reared off across the dimming fields.
River snuggled her face against her captain's back and hummed contentedly. They galloped at a steady pace, the wind whipping delightfully through her hair, the velocity of it furthering her excitement.
During the ride, she devoted her time to leisurely inching the front of his shirt from his pants, dutifully searching for skin. When she finally freed the obtructive material and made contact, her nimble hands adroitly worked over the firm, contracting muscles of his abs.
Mal shuddered pleasantly as River smoothed her hands over his stomach and chest, his insides twisting up at her gentle caress. He felt her fingers move upwards and lightly graze his nipples, returning to firmly pinch one, causing him to jump at the stimulation.
He tilted his head back offering a warning to her playful actions. "You're in a world of trouble when we get to."
River giggled and nipped at his back as her hands defiantly roamed south and firmly grabbed his package, squeezing him just enough to merit a groan. A sweet sexiness edged her voice, "Promise?"
Oh, sweet, Buddha, if he could make the animal run any faster he would. It were times like this he missed his mule.
River continued to agonizingly torture him until they reached their destination. It had been so long since they had made love; the anticipation was beyond unbearable. The added teasing was almost dangerous and he hoped he could restrain himself just a bit longer.
Mal jumped down and reached up to pluck his tormenter off the horse, setting her to the ground while verbally amending his mistake. "Next time we ride together, I'm placing you in view."
"Won't work. I bend." River enticed as she looked up blindly, feeling for Mal. She could hear him groan at her words before he grabbed her hard and crushed his lips against hers, milking the sexual tension with fervent lips. Fusing together, nothing tasted sweeter than the true passion that accompanied each languorous movement.
River felt full, soft lips leave hers and then abruptly, she was unmasked and looking straight into violet-blue eyes, made soft by the crinkle around them. "Turn around," he commanded gently.
Hesitantly pulling her gaze from doting eyes, she turned slowly and halted, staring up in curious fascination. Before her stood the most unseemly little house, but to her it was picture perfect. River turned back to Mal giving him a thousand watt smile.
"Go on, have a peek." He urged as he placed the key in her palm. She looked at the thing a moment before turning and dashing eagerly up the rickety steeps. He followed behind, eager for her reaction as she thrust the key inside the lock and opened the heavy door.
River looked around in wonder as she found the inside was nothing like the exterior. There was fresh wood adorning the walls and some pieces of newer furniture filling the open space. It looked and smelled like a real home.
Mal spoke as she continued her quiet exploration. "Been sneaking out here with various accomplices, wanted to make the place livable in the very least for ya. Figured we could work on the outside come last." Mal declared as he eyed her for a response, hoping it would do. When she was quiet still, he continued. "Couldn't wait to share our new start. So, here we are."
River was overwhelmed by everything. It was more than she ever dreamed and suddenly she was overcome with guilt. Stepping forward, she pensively fingered the quaint little dining table before turning back to Mal with tears her shining in her eyes and looked down. "Don't deserve all this. I'm not worthy of you."
Mal was taken aback. "What? Why would you go an' say something like that for?" He questioned tenderly, astonished by her sudden change in demeanor. This wasn't the exact reaction he had planned for, something more along the lines of glee and a hell of a lot of kissing to be exact.
"Because it's true!" River cried, unable to meet his eyes and feeling suddenly undeserving of his gorgeous blues. "I was untrue." She whispered conspiratorially, conviction edging her voice.
As she continued to explain herself, she grew increasingly agitated, her voice rising with the intensity of her emotion. "Tore the hole deeper. Inserted the knife and twisted." Finally, River raised her ashamed eyes to his. "How you could still want me?"
Mal stepped forward and grabbed River firmly, pulling her tight as her legs gave out, her whole body weak with culpability. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead atop of her sweet smelling hair, and closed his eyes.
"You gave up the stars, liberation. Captains aren't meant for domestication. It's all my fault!" She mumbled as she continued to sob against him. Mal remained quiet, trying to find the words to dispute her reservations, to stop her from unnecessarily feeling the way she did.
He had been hurt deeply, but only because he had cared for her like no other. He didn't blame her for the way things played out and she needed to know that no matter what she said or did, he could never feel anything but complete and utter adoration for her.
Pulling back, he gently grabbed her quivering chin and forced her to look up at him. "Look here, lil one. I ain't ever been one to do something against my will. All of this, being here with you, is all I want now. What's past is past. I've made my fair share of mistakes. Spent even longer beatin' myself up over 'em, t'aint ever done nothin' but make me old and bitter."
He smiled warmly as he rubbed his thumb soothingly against her pale cheek, melting her insides away with both his reassurance and magnificence. "I don't regret a bit of it, River. 'Cause if I did, if one thing had been changed, I wouldn't be standing here gettin' all cried on. An' you know how I like myself a weeping lil' ball of cryin' girl. The best kind there is."
River let out a chuckle of relief and briefly closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure as she slowly reopened them and looked deep into the face of the man she so desperately wanted to be worthy of. His strong voice and affectionate avowal had given her back some of the confidence she had lost.
Reaching up, she curled her little fingers around the hand gripping her chin, and tilted her face into it, basking in the warmth of his touch. "Wasted so much time, not being with you."
Mal's smile was tender as he spoke, a million different emotions swirling around his heart. "Well, then, best not to be wastin' it. We got a plenty makin' up to do."
---
River stood before Mal in their small bedroom upstairs, the moonlight streaming its way in and spotlighting the young thing as she slowly and deliberately removed her clothing for the seemingly self-possessed man sitting on the bed.
Her movements were graceful, the simple act of undressing like an exquisite dance. Under the cover of shadows, Mal unconsciously held in his breath as he hung onto every subtle movement, his gaze full of restless longing.
Piece by piece the garments noiselessly piled around her feet, like the falling of delicate petals, until the soft glow of the night was the only thing dressing her skin.
Standing up, Mal reached for her, yearning to feel her smooth, naked skin under his hands, to cause her to feel the same pleasure he received by just having her stand there all bare and vulnerable and his.
Gently pushing his hand down, River shook her head, nodding at his current state of dress, silently requesting a similar show.
A sexy smirk adorned his face as buttons were loosened, trousers dropped and boxers pulled free, leaving behind a body even the gods would both envy and desire.
Owning an adorable lopsided grin, River stepped closer and seductively ran a lone finger down the length of Mal's sculpted torso, causing him to twitch slightly under her fingertip. Captivated by the view, River chewed on her bottom lip as she marveled at the beauty of the man before her.
As her finger skimmed down smooth, golden skin, she stopped mischievously at his pubic hair before looking up and deadlocking their eyes together. Bravely, she held his gaze, piercing him with self-assurance, and continued down further, lightly tracing his hardened extremities with her elusive touch.
Mal closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, barely able to contain himself as her contact became more explorative and unyielding, her soft hand stroking, causing him to become intensely hard.
Suddenly, her hand was gone and leaving him a fiend, already missing her concentrated attention. As Mal opened his eyes to look around, his quick search produced only empty, dim space, until he was inundated by warmth, wetness and aching all at once.
A moan came out more like a gasp as she engulfed most of his well-endowed length into her mouth. His hand automatically rested on top of soft hair as he desperately entangled his fingers trying to grab a hold of anything to ground him to the moment. Hot white sparks shot behind his heavy lids as his eyes rolled back in his head, the incredible sensation sending him into nirvana.
His body throbbed painfully as the innate need to feel her little body writhe beneath his overpowered him. The want to fully and wondrously posses all of her dominated every rousing thought as she adeptly worked him into a lust-filled frenzy.
He could feel the pleasure culminating, his desire wanting to be freed from the suppression within. Not ready let go, Mal grabbed River's slim shoulders and pulled her up to his lips, kissing her with every fiber of his being.
River moaned at the force and power of his kiss and pressed her body strongly against his. The feeling of bare contact further heightened the dizzy feeling submerging the pair in reverie.
Mal slid his fingers up through the back of River's hair, cupping her head to deepen the kiss, both taking turns sucking and pulling on tender lips. She broke away first, breathless and determined, a wild look in her eye as if the kiss had awakened something primal.
Gently pushing Mal back into his sitting position on the bed, River moved to straddle him and resumed the oral play. Mal progressed his exploration down her neck as River leaned her head to the side and closed her eyes, basking in the beautiful sensation.
Flipping them over, Mal lay on his side as he continued down to her breasts, mauling the soft flesh hungrily, causing her to arch delightfully in response to his attentiveness. As teeth grazed and sucked her swollen nipples, Mal slid his hand slowly up the inside of her tender thighs and stopped at the apex, lightly grazing her there. River whimpered and then moaned deeply as he pressed down harder, dipping his fingers at her opening and slickly rubbing the overly sensitive area.
River twisted her body under his touch, impatient to be filled, ravished and loved. "Mal." She whispered pleadingly as he moved his body in between her legs at command. Resting his weight on his forearms, he held himself just above so he could look deep into her luminous eyes, wanting to connect in every way possible.
As he pushed into her, he watched her handsome face contort with gratification, her lips parting slightly as they fit together achingly snug. Moving his hips leisurely, he marveled in the soft-warmth as it gripped every throbbing inch of him.
River slowly moved her hips to meet his. The deliberate and agonizing pace felt more beautiful, more deep than any other sensation she'd experienced before this. Perhaps now because their love was raw and exposed, revealed blatantly in their eyes, that it made every movement, every touch, every kiss and proclamation that much more satisfying.
She felt tears prickling her eyes and when Mal noticed the shine, a slight panic reverberated in his heart and he stilled his movement, resting deep inside of her. Smoothing her hair back, his face was full of concern. "Am I hurting you?"
River shook her head and smiled reassuringly as she as she traced his lips with her fingertips. "You make me feel real, whole. I want to feel this way always. Good things are always fated to pass," she confessed sadly.
Mal kissed her briefly before looking at her with the utmost gravity. "Unless you know somethin' I don't, lil' one, you got no reason to worry. I ain't going nowhere without a fight."
Tracing his fingers down her cheek, he thought contemplatively a moment before continuing. "Now that I have you, pity the fool that aims to interfere with us gettin' all old and fugly together."
River cracked a devious smile. "You will age long before I."
A wide grin spread across Mal's handsome face. "That so?"
His lovely girl nodded in affirmation. "Yes, but don't worry, I'll love you despite the gray." She wiggled anxiously beneath him, reminding them of their intimate situation. "Now move them hips, old man." River slapped him hard on the bottom, the painful echo bouncing off the walls. "You can't keep a girl waiting."
"So bossy." Mal teased. "I'm gonna take care of that little sassy mouth of yours."
River giggled as he leaned down, meeting her in a sumptuous kiss, and thrust deeper, returning them to ecstasy.
Fini