Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. Just copies of the books.

A/n: Hello! And welcome to the second chapter! The stuff of legend is our first story written together (by The Phoenix Queen and Empress Jadis).

Phoenix was kind enough to post our story because I am computerly challenged and have yet to figure out how to do it. Right. So we wrote this story over email for about a year and 3(?) months. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

"I think Snivellus got our letter, don't you?" Sirius said the next day. He and James had been watching Snivellus closely all day. Snape seemed high on something, not paying much attention to anything, even Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Yes," replied James with a smirk. "I think we will have to send another, don't you?"

That day Severus had been feeling very happy indeed, and he kept looking around to try and find the girl that wrote it. But nobody had acted different- nobody had so much as looked at him. Except Bellatrix, and that had been to turn him bald during charms. Severus hoped that the mystery girl would still like him, even though his newly re-grown hair no longer held as many crystallized droplets of grease. Later that day, he was walking past the Slytherin Common Room Entrance when his heart stopped. There was another letter lying on the stone floor. He ran over and picked it up, his heart now racing. And sure enough, it had "Severus Snape" written on it in the same handwriting.

Dear Severus,
I think about you night and day. I see your twisted, pimply, beautiful face when I close my eyes. At night, I have dreams where you sweep me off on a unicorn, we live happily ever after, and I can gaze at your greasy hair reflecting the moonlight at night. I can talk to you all about how wonderful you are and you finally know who I am. But it is then that I wake up and cry myself back to sleep because I know this will never happen. You in your amazing manliness would never be able to meet me. I could never see you except in the dead of night in the trophy room on the third Wednesday of the month. It is the only time I am not being watched. So I am stuck just thinking of you and the crystallized grease in your hair, never able to express my love to your face.

Tragically with all my love,
Your secret admirer

Severus just stared at the letter. Could this possibly be what he thought it was-an invitation to meet his secret lover? Just as he was deciding to write her a letter of his own, he realized that he had no idea who this girl was. And so he was going to have to take a
chance. He was going to meet her.

James and Sirius stood around the corner, watching Snape read their second love letter. Then, as they watched in disgust and barely concealed laughter, Snivellus folded up the paper, kissed it, and set it in his pocket. Then he entered the Common Room.

"He's going to do it, mate!" whispered Sirius. "He's going to 'meet her'!"

"I know!" James whispered gleefully. "So we'll just make sure they have a nice private visit..."

James glanced at his watch. It was nearly might night so Snivellus would be here soon, he could hardly stand the wait.

"I think I hear him coming!" Sirius whispered beside him. They were under James' invisibility cloak hidden behind a large trophy awarded to Anatolia Branch for winning an all school dueling championship. They had come earlier and set up booby traps to catch Snape in. This was going to be perfect...

Severus had spent much of the previous day getting ready to meet his secret admirer. He hadn't paid attention in any of his classes, even Defense Against the Dark Arts, too busing trying to decide what he would say to her. He had changed his clothes (for the first time in five days) and had even washed his face. He had debated washing his hair, but finally decided against it-he didn't want to break his annual tradition. And besides, this girl, whoever she was, would be able to gaze at his starlit grease all she wanted this way. He had, however, brushed his hair, and had even put on deodorant. He didn't usually get this dressed up, but hey, this was a special occasion, wasn't it?

That night, he grabbed the bouquet of flowers he had picked for her, without realizing that it was actually a mixture of dandelions and ragweed. Then he proceeded
to the Trophy Room, going over his speech in his head.

James and Sirius watched as Snivellus approached the trophy room. He had a somewhat pleasant face on, which they had never seen before. It was sickening. He was also wearing what looked to be new robes, which was a first. Clutched in his hand was an ugly bouquet of weeds. It was so pathetic it was funny.

They watched in anticipation as Snivellus approached their first trap, a trip jinx.

Snivellus patted down his hair and smoothed out his robes. He spun around as he heard malicious laughter, but there was nothing there so he continued on his way, assuming it was just his imagination. Almost there...

"Almost there..." whispered Sirius.

Severus stopped right out side the trophy room, suddenly unsure of whether he wanted to go in or not. After all, the girl could be some strange weirdo, or a troll. Severus shuddered at the thought of that. He would not be able to take it if the girl turned out to be horrible. He decided to wait just inside the door for this secret admirer.

"Why is he stopping?" Sirius whispered furiously. "He's two inches away from the trip jinx!"

"Shut up, Sirius! He'll hear us!" James hissed at him. "Just be patient."

Five minutes later

"HE STILL HASN'T MOVED!" Sirius hissed through clenched teeth. "Why hasn't he moved?" Suddenly an idea dawned on James.

"Sirius, he's probably waiting for a girl to come out." James whispered.

"But a girl isn't going to come!" Sirius whispered. He turned to James, who was looking at him, a slightly evil grin coming over his face.

"I said, a girl isn't going to…wait a minute…no, no James—don't you dare—no, don't you even think about it, no— PUT THAT WAND DOWN! Don't you dare-!"

Severus waited quietly for some time, impatiently anticipating the arrival of his secret admirer. He was beginning to lose hope when he heard a noise from the other side of the room. Out of the shadows came a girl. She was tall and very thin. Her hair was long, past her waist, and she had strikingly blue eyes. Severus stared; he had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life.

Sirius walked slowly out from the shadows, silently cursing James. How could he have turned him in to a girl! That was just wrong! How did he know how to do that any way? Some thing to find out later...

Sirius heard a sharp gasp that pulled him back to attention. There was Snape. He was staring at him with a strange expression on his face. It wasn't hate, it was... Aw crap, Snape LIKES the way I look! He's ATTRACTED to Sirius the girl! The prat put his hand to his greasy head and patted his hair down.

That's just gross. Snape is trying to impress me. I wish he just hated me like always.

Silently cursing James and swearing to murder him if this spell was permanent, Sirius crept forward.

"Hello, Severus," Sirius said.

Damn it, even his VOICE sounded like a girl's!

Severus couldn't take his eyes off the beauty in front of him. Her eyes were such a beautiful, icy blue and her hair was the color of coal. She wore a gray tank top and perfectly fitting pair of jeans. He put his hand to his head, nervously patting down his hair. Then the girl spoke, in a sweet, perfect voice. "Hello Severus."

James watched from behind the trophy. This was going well, he could tell—besides the fact that it was absolutely revolting. Sirius was surprisingly good at being a hot girl; it seemed he had lots of experience in situations like these...

"Hello Severus," Sirius said.

"H-hello..." James doubled over in fits of silent laughter; they had gotten Snivellus to stutter—perfect. "Who are you? I mean I've never seen you here before and I... I..."

Snape was still struck dumb by the girl. Then suddenly he remembered that she had said "Hello".

"H-hello..." he replied timidly. "Who are you? I mean, I've never seen you here before, and I...I..."

"My name's Sandra." The girl cut in smoothly, tossing her hair. "I'm in Ravenclaw. But…" she ducked her head bashfully which only made her look sweeter. Still gazing at him, she batted her eyelashes. "I'm shy; you probably haven't seen me around much." Severus didn't know what to say.

"Uh...yeah." He suddenly realized how DUMB he must sound to this beautiful girl, and attempted to sound suave and sophisticated. "Sooo...you wrote me those notes, huh?" In his mind Severus slapped his hand to his forehead in humiliation. Geez, he was bad at this. However, the girl simply smiled sweetly.

"I did, honey. And I meant everything I said."

"You did?"

"Would I write it if I didn't?"

"Oh... yeah that's true." Severus mentally smashed his head on the wall. How could he sound so idiotic?

Sirius smiled. Even if he did look like a girl, it was almost worth it just to see, well, make Snivellus this dumbstruck. But he couldn't honestly believe that he had just batted his eyelashes.

She was smiling. She was smiling...at HIM! He needed to seize this opportunity and say something flirty. "You...um...you have gorgeous eyes." Well, not as bad as it could have been. She smiled flirtatiously.

"Not as pretty as yours, my sugarplum." He blushed scarlet.

Behind the statue, James was gagging silently. (A/n: Me too.) This was just gross.

Inside Sirius was being sick. He knew he had to keep up this act, but this was really taking a toll on his emotional sanity. He was now officially scarred for life. Oh Merlin, did I just call Snape "sugar plum"? This was wrong, sickening, disturbing. Sirius suppressed a shutter. This was not going to be a pleasant evening for James later on.