A/N: Chapter 4 is up! Aren't ya'll happy! Anyways we would like to apologize again for the extreme pain we put you through in the last chapter… "my little cowboy" shudder However I must insist you stay through the pain and read the next chapter, for then your pain will be rewarded! (Ok wow, that sounded a little scary. Sorry.)
Disclaimer: Do you own anything, Jadis? Nope, not so far as I know. Yup, me neither.
The next few weeks went by very fast for the Marauders. They kept their pranks at a minimum in order to further perfect the one they now called "Operation Snivellus". All they did was turn the entire Slytherin house's hair red and gold, transform the potions classroom into a swimming pool, 'accidentally' slip a Nose Hair Growth potion into the goblet of an unsuspecting first-year and let off several dung bombs and fireworks in the hallway. Their pranks were so few that the teachers were beginning to notice.
"Potter! Black! Please pay attention and stop writing notes to each other in class!" Sirius's head shot up as he quickly shoved his parchment into his bag.
"Yes Professor McGonagall."
Professor McGonagall stared at Sirius suspiciously. He had never behaved this well in her class, ever. "Potter, Black, please stay after class; I want to talk to you. Now back to human-marsupial transformation..."
James looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes. Professor McGonagall would never understand that they were already very advanced in transformation, far ahead of the rest of the class. By the end of class they had forgotten about the meeting until Remus reminded them. Exchanging a knowing smirk as the bell rang, they made their way up to McGonagall's desk.
"You wanted to talk to us professor?"
"Yes I did. You two have been extremely well-behaved this week. Is something wrong?" James and Sirius exchanged another look, carefully hiding their surprise from Professor McGonagall. This was not what they had been expecting.
"No, Professor, not really…unless you mean our plan to redecorate the Great Hall," James replied.
"Oh yeah Professor, I wanted to ask you a few questions about what colors to use. We were thinking mauve and lemon, but would that clash with the—"
Professor McGonagall cut Sirius off sharply. "You will under no circumstances redecorate the Great Hall! Really, I thought after last year you would have learned! Now you two go down to lunch!"
"Yes Professor." That had gone very well indeed...
&$&$&$
During lunch, James and Sirius relived their meeting in McGonagall's office to an eagerly listening Remus and Peter. When they were finished, Remus was chuckling appreciatively and Peter looked delighted.
"So how are we decorating the Great Hall, then?" he asked eagerly.
"We're not, you twit!" James growled, rolling his eyes, as Sirius punched Wormtail on the shoulder.
As Peter rubbed his arm where Sirius had hit him, James looked down the Gryffindor table. He had the funniest feeling that someone had been watching him... And sure enough, about five seats down was Lily, watching him closely with her eyes narrowed and a shrewd expression on her face.
Without even thinking about it, he flashed a devilishly suave smile at her, and her glare became even more pronounced. Then she turned back to a girl with long blonde hair.
James sighed inwardly. He just didn't understand it. The more charming he acted, the more she seemed to hate him. All his usual lines and gestures, the things that made girls practically fall on their knees as he passed, just seemed to repulse her. She was unlike any other girl, ever.
And that was why he was so attracted to her, of course. It wasn't just that she was different. It wasn't like she was just a change from what he was used to. It was that she was…perfect. There didn't seem to be any other word for the admiration he held for her.
Why did she have to be so darn stubborn? He knew that if she went on just ONE date with him she'd see what a good person he was...but he had no time ponder this, as Sirius, whose hair had been turned blue, was currently making huge, pus-filled boils appear on Peter's face. Catching each other's eyes over the table, James and Remus petrified Sirius and Peter
"You two need to stop; you can't get detention." said James. "We have to plan 'Operation Snivellus'. And if you get in detention you won't get to help with any of it." Glaring at Sirius, James released him from the curse.
"Quite frankly I'm not that fussed—I don't want to be a girl again."
"But you wouldn't be a part of the best prank in the history of Hogwarts."
"Fine, I'll behave."
"Good."
"At least until the prank is over. Then—" Sirius mimed ripping James' head off.
&$&$&$
As Severus rushed back to the Common Room, he hoped beyond hope that somehow, Sandra would have written him another letter. He desperately wanted to see her again, but there was no way of letting her know that, seeing as he could never seem to spot her in the halls, or even at mealtimes. He turned the corner to the Common Room Entrance. No note sat on the threshold, but something did. Or rather, someone.
"Ready for your first lesson, Snivelover?" Bellatrix taunted.
Snape swallowed.
"Er... yes."
twenty minutes later
"All right, time for the first lesson." Snape was very confused. Bellatrix had just led him on a twenty minute walk around the school, finally ending at the seventh floor corridor in front of a tapestry of trolls clubbing their would-be ballet teacher.
"Um... why are we in the middle of a random hallway? Just, er, wondering..." (a/n: man that was fun!) Snape trailed off as Bellatrix glared at him.
"We are here, Snivelover, because this is where your new classroom is." Bellatrix then started pacing back and forth in front of the empty wall before her.
"Uh…I may be wrong, but somehow I don't think walking around silently is the best way to impress Sandra."
"Shut up, you twit," Bellatrix snapped absentmindedly, still pacing.
The third time she passed it a door appeared where there had been just wall before.
"Coming?" Bellatrix walked through the door. Snape was utterly unprepared for what he saw in the room. He had been expecting an empty classroom. Not this. This was well, confounding.
The room was painted hot pink with bright red hearts scattered across the walls. From the ceiling hung pink cupids whose arrows shot pink, white and red confetti. There was a magenta-and-red-striped bookshelf placed in one corner, and in it sat books with titles like: Charm your way into her life and Love Potions? Who Needs 'Em? 100 tips to help you get that special someone. Scarlet poufs sat at random places around the room, and what looked like an assortment of love potions, each in a pink glass bottle, sat atop a table nearby. A radio (pink, of course) sat in one corner, playing sappy love song after sappy love song, and what seemed to be the smell of very strong perfume filled the air.
"What the bloody hell IS this place!" Snape gasped, his mouth hanging open.
"This, as I just said, is your new classroom."
"I'm not learning here." Bellatrix's eyes flashed.
"Oh yes you are. Unless you want me spreading the word about you and your little sweetheart all over the school."
Snape cringed, and a gloating smile spread across Bellatrix's face. "Listen, Snivelpants, I'm doing you a favor! Take my advice, don't blow this." Severus glared suspiciously at Bellatrix.
"Fine, pretend I'll do this. What's the catch?"
"Huh?"
"Bellatrix," said Snape, rolling his eyes, "don't try to pretend like you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart, because I know as well as the next guy that you don't have one. I repeat, what's the catch?" Bellatrix glared at him for a moment.
"Okay, my price is 10 sickles a session."
"Are you out of your MIND?" Snape bellowed.
"That's my price. You can either let me help you win the girl of your dreams, sacrificing a few galleons along the way, or be humiliated for the rest of your life and have Sandra refuse to meet you again when I tell everyone what you've been up to." Snape ground his teeth together.
"Fine."
A/N: Poor Snivelly…poor, poor Snivelly…