For those who have not read my "Clockwork Orange" story "A Spark Of Good", this fanfic does contain heavy spoilers--so don't read this if you're dying to find out what happens in the other story.

Also, while the stuff in this story doesn't really happen to Alex (especially at the end, since he prominently appears in future stories involving his granddaughter), I woudn't recommend this to those who like happy fics. After all, this does contain suicide, adult themes, etc.--& if you can't handle any of that, this isn't the fanfic for you. Otherwise, enjoy, & feel free to review.

THE FINAL HOUR

Darkness. Ever present, ever dominating the night, the one night I cannot sleep. Darkness. She cloaks me in her soft black blanket & attempts to soothe me with her lullabies of whistling wind & church bells tolling for Evening Mass. Yet my eyes do not flutter closed & I cannot drift off to peaceful slumber. I do not want to sleep, anyway--my nightly rest would only be filled wih horrendous dreams...

Suddenly, a small gasp leaves my body. I see her standing before me. The one girl with soft skin of ivory, with long hair the color of the sun & eyes of crystal-blue. She is not clothed; her whole body is exposed, & only the silver cross necklace she has worn for so long is seen clinging to her small frame, draped daintily around her soft neck & hanging over her voluptuous breasts. She smiles at me, a heavenly glow illuminating her beautiful person, which is adorned with soft feathery wings of white.

My body begins to throb & pulsate in rhythmic spasms, & sweat begins to pour down my skin as I get hotter & hotter. My soft breathing turns to heavy gasps, & before I can say anything, Angela is upon me, caressing me in all sorts of places that hadn't been touched, truly touched, in so long. My soul feels exalted like never before as she wraps her arms & legs around me, kissing me, redeeming my tainted soul with her gentle touch, moaning my name softly as though it were divine, like her. Before I even know it, we are filling each other with a blissful sensation that's affected us so many times in my dreams.

The magic feeling of our lovemaking seems to go on forever, but once we are satisifed & our bodies cool off from the ecstatic ordeal, Angela kisses me one last time on the lips, then slowly fades away from view. I reach for her vainly as I call out her name, but she is gone. Tears begin to flow down my face & onto my pillow, as I mutter my beloved Angela's name in a broken voice. My heart feels sick...so sick...if only Billyboy hadn't taken Angela...if only he hadn't robbed her of her most precious possession, her dignity, with his tainted body...if only...he had spared the one thing she loved more than anything...her life...with me.

My sobs become more violent, & I begin to scream tearfully, almost instinctively, for my mother to come & comfort me. It is no use; she's been gone for over a year, & the pain only worsens as time goes on. Then my thoughts flash back to Angela; the knot in my stomach gets tighter, as I recall the horrible sight of Billyboy's knife plunging into her heart. Her final shrieks of agony suddenly become mine, & my body fills with an excruciating pain I've never felt before. It hurts...it hurts so bad...Oh, Angela, why did you have to make love to me? Why did you have to make the pain I feel right now worse?

But there is a remedy for this heartache. Smiling insanely through the last of my tears, I go to my father's old room & reach in through his dresser drawer, eventually pulling out a shiny black pistol. Here I am. The site of so many horrible years of molestation by Mr. Deltoid suddenly becomes a haven for me; the horrible memories leave my troubled mind as I stare into the gun's barrel. It smiles at me, almost sympathetically; it shares my pain, it feels my sorrow. And as I place my finger on the trigger & gently pull it, I can't help but smile once more as the last of my tears begin to dry up. "Fear not, Angela, my darling," I whisper softly, "I shall return to you."

Then a deafening boom & silence. As my body goes limp & I close my eyes one final time, my face is permanently frozen in a smile of morbid satisfaction. I feel my soul leaving my body & floating up to heaven, where Angela will be waiting for me. The first thing I experience when I get there is my dearest love embracing me & smothering me with gentle kisses, sweeter than the taste of wine. The pain is gone; the memories fade away from what there is of my mind. I am truly free.