3
As soon as Elliot dropped Olivia off at her apartment with a stern warning about not doing something she would regret, Olivia jumped in the shower, giving herself time to clean up and consider her next steps. As she shampooed her hair, the memory of Polly washed over her.
Olivia had slept with a lot of women over the years; most were just one night stands. It was an effect of the job, no time to pursue a relationship, but Olivia made the most of the situation and found comfort where she could. But none of the girls she had slept with held a candle to what Polly meant to her in that short time. Maybe it would have turned into something, maybe it would have just stayed one perfect night, but either way, a life was cut short, a life that touched Olivia Benson.
Silently, as Olivia remembered each memory, each sensation of their love making, tears began to run down her cheeks. She let her hands trace the path that Polly's had taken down her abdomen to the place where Polly had brought about one of the most intense orgasms she had ever had. It wasn't hard for Olivia to reach climax and eventually orgasm as she remembered what Polly had done, what she had done to Polly. Olivia collapsed in tears as the orgasm rippled through her body. I'm going to find the person who did this Polly. I promise.
Alex Cabot stormed into the bullpen, right up to Elliot who was sitting at his desk talking on the phone.
"Where the hell is she?" Alex asked.
Elliot made a motion for Alex to hold on and continued talking to the person on the other line. Alex crossed her arms and tapped her foot, impatiently. She looked around the room, glanced at her watch, and cleared her throat a couple of times, just to make sure Elliot knew she was standing there.
Elliot finished the call and hung up. "I'm sorry," he smiled, "What was your question?"
Alex glared at him, her blue eyes turning icy, "Where. Is. She?"
"Liv?"
"Yes," Alex said icily.
"She's out," Elliot said, not sure how much of this he should reveal to Alex.
"Where?"
"She's at home," Cragen answered from the doorway to his office. "I can answer your questions in here Alex."
Alex nodded and followed him into his office. Cragen closed the door and motioned for Alex to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Alex sat, and so did Cragen.
"What the hell is going on, Captain?" Alex asked, trying to remain calm.
"Detective Benson was involved in an... incident this morning," Cragen responded.
"What kind of incident?" asked Alex.
"I'd prefer not to say. But right now, she's at home, and she'll be on desk duty pending the investigation."
"Look, Don, I've already been questioned by Detective Samson about Liv. He wouldn't tell me what was going on, just that she's in trouble. I just want to know what she's gotten herself into."
Cragen sighed, "She's being called a 'person of interest' in a murder investigation."
"Murder? You're kidding me."
"Nope. I don't know all the details, but apparently she found the body."
"How does that make her a person of interest?" asked Alex.
"She spent the night with the girl before she was killed."
Alex stormed out of Cragen's office. How the hell could she do this to me? I thought we were just starting to have something, and then she cheats! Alex thought as she rode the elevator down. I know, I know, we haven't really been dating. But still! I thought she really liked me. Alex stepped outside and hailed a cab. She gave the cabbie directions to Olivia's apartment.
As she watched the city fly by outside the cab, Alex remembered how this whole thing with Olivia began. When Alex had joined the squad as their ADA, she wasn't very welcome. Yes, she was aware of her nickname, "The Ice Queen", but over time, the squad had come around. It had taken Olivia more time than the rest to warm up to Alex. But in the end, they had become friends, confidants. Olivia would come over to Alex's office after her shift during the particularly hard cases. Usually she would bring a bottle of wine or liquor with, and they would drink and talk and strategize.
Now, it was known around the squad that Olivia was gay, but no one seemed to care, or if they did, the kept it to themselves for fear of retaliation from Olivia's "brothers", Stabler, Munch and Fin. Alex had known for some time that Olivia had a crush on her. Olivia tried to hide her lingering glances when they were in the same room, but Alex would have had to be blind not to notice the lasers shooting out of Olivia's eyes directly into her ass or chest.
Alex was flattered by the attention, but it wasn't until one of those nights in her office when Alex began to realize she had feelings for Olivia. One night in particular stuck out in Alex's mind. Olivia had come over to Alex's office to help prepare for a tough case. They were about done for the night and were sitting on the couch, drinking and talking. During a pause in the conversation, Alex locked eyes with Olivia. They leaned into each other and kissed. And though Alex wouldn't admit it at the time, that kiss was the most powerful kiss she had ever had.
But Alex was kind of taken aback by the kiss and decided to blame it on the wine because she still wasn't sure whether she wanted to pursue something with Olivia. After that night, it became a little awkward between the two. Olivia stopped coming by after work to talk. When they had to be in the same room together, they didn't make eye contact. It went on for about two weeks before Alex finally got up the nerve to ask Olivia to "dinner". She wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to go about asking a woman on a date, so she just opted for "dinner".
Okay, okay... Alex thought, maybe I should have made my intentions a little clearer before initiating something with Liv, but I thought the kiss was clear enough. Damn, I really should have talked to her about this. I just hope it's not too late for us... I just hope Liv hasn't gotten herself into something that's way over her head!
Olivia stomped up the stairs to her fourth floor walk-up apartment. She was fuming from having found out nothing after a ten hour scavenger hunt around town trying to fill in the pieces of Polly's life that were still a mystery to her. It was now past two in the morning, and Olivia was ready to collapse into her bed. But what she wasn't ready for was what was standing in her apartment when she opened the door.
"Alex? What the hell are you doing here?" asked Olivia.
"I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you're okay," said Alex as she stood up from the sofa.
"I'm fine," Olivia said dismissively. She pulled off her sneakers and sat on her sofa, rubbing the pain out of her feet.
"I heard about what happened."
"Oh did you?" Olivia said, gesturing to the sofa for Alex to sit. "How did you get in?"
"Your supper let me in. I said I was a colleague, that I left some papers in your apartment that I really needed."
"And he believed you?"
"I was... quite convincing," Alex said, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.
Olivia smiled, probably for the first time all day, and then sighed. "Well, Lex, I'm really in some deep shit here."
"I heard, is there anything I can do?"
Olivia shook her head. "Unless you can turn back time and actually show up for our date, nope, nothing," she said, her words laced with distain.
"Liv, I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. I mean, if you had showed up, I wouldn't have had the best sex of my life last night." Olivia glanced at Alex and smirked. "Well, maybe I would have, but I guess we'll never know, will we?"
"Liv, I didn't mean to stand you up. Liz caught me right after my meeting with Arthur ended. I tried to leave, but you know how Liz is. I couldn't even pop out a text to let you know. By the time I got to the bar, you were gone. I tried calling, but you turned off your cell."
"I turned it off 'cause I was having too much fun with Polly. But now she's dead, and I'm their main suspect. So, thank you Lex, I really appreciate your negligence."
"I said I'm sorry Liv, what else do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," Olivia said, standing. "There's nothing you can say to change this. I'm completely fucked, and there's nothing either one of us can do to save me."
Olivia walked over to the kitchen in the corner of her apartment and took a bottle of scotch off of the wine holder on her counter. She took down a tumbler from a cabinet and poured herself a glass. She took the glass and held it up to the light, examining the amber liquid before downing it in one gulp.
Alex strode over to Olivia, and leaning up against the counter, she watched Olivia pour herself another glass of scotch.
"I always figured you for a scotch drinker," Alex said. Olivia smiled and took a small sip of the liquid. "Liv, I am sorry I stood you up for our date."
Olivia smiled and turned to Alex. "So we're calling it a 'date' now?"
Alex shrugged, "I don't know. I think 'date' sounds better than 'dinner' though."
"You want one?" Olivia asked, gesturing to the bottle of scotch. Alex nodded. Olivia poured Alex a glass and they sipped their scotch in silence.
"So..." Alex said, breaking the kind of awkward silence. "How do you plan on solving this one Detective?"
"You or... the murder?"
"Both."
"Well, I was thinking, for the first one... a kiss," Olivia said and leaned in and kissed Alex softly. "And for the latter one... I have no fucking clue."
Alex smiled and pulled Olivia into her arms. She was suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling of Olivia's body pressed up against hers. Alex finally had the woman she had been lusting after for... well, a long time, in her arms. It was odd, Olivia was always the one saving everyone, she was always strong, always the hero, but here, in Alex's arms, Olivia seemed so small. Maybe it was the height difference, but Alex felt so strong holding Olivia. She could tell this case was starting to rip Olivia apart, even after only one day, and Alex knew that she had to protect Olivia, not from Detective Samson, but from herself.
"Lex," Olivia whispered, as she breathed in the intoxicating scent of Alex's shampoo. "What am I going to do?"
"I don't know," Alex whispered back. "I don't know Liv. But whatever you do, you've got to be careful."
Olivia pulled back. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that if Samson catches you looking into things, he could have you fired... or worse. This guy is already convinced that you killed that girl. You can't give him any more reasons to condemn you."
"But if he's already convinced that I did it, then he won't be looking for Polly's real killer. Lex, I have to find who did this to her. I owe her that much."
"You don't owe her anything. If you go to prison, it won't help any more. Look, Elliot and I can fight this, we can find her killer, but you have to promise that you're not going to do something to screw this up."
"But Lex..." Olivia argued.
"Promise me, Liv. Please?"
"Okay, okay. I won't do anything. I promise."
"Okay," said Alex. She pulled Olivia's face to her, and they kissed.
Olivia was ready to collapse into Alex's arms as they kissed, but she didn't know if it was from Alex or her exhaustion.
"Lex..." Olivia sighed against her lips. "As much as I would love to continue this in the bedroom, I've been up since eight this morning."
"I've been up since five," Alex argued.
"Well, did you find a girl dead, get interviewed by Commander Conservative, and then spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who killed said girl?"
"No, I was in meetings all day," Alex smiled. "Are you going to stop by my office tomorrow?"
"We'll see," Olivia said, and kissed Alex. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you."
When Alex left the apartment to catch a cab home, Olivia shuffled into her bedroom and fell on her bed without changing into some pajamas. As soon as her head touched the pillow, Olivia was out, but it wasn't for long. Olivia was plagued with nightmares, of Polly's dead body, and even worse, of Alex's dead body in Polly's place. Olivia made up her mind when she woke up. As much as it pained her to break her promise to Alex, she knew these nightmares wouldn't end until she brought justice to Polly's spirit. She would find Polly's killer, even if it meant loosing her job.