Chapter 13: Not My Sara

"Dr. Grissom," the doctor said walking over to him.

"Yes, how is she doctor?" Grissom said standing up and shaking his hand.

"She's fine now, I'm Doctor James Hampton. Sara went into a cardiac arrest which at her age is surprising. Has she been sick lately?" Dr. Hampton asked motioning for him to sit down.

"No, she hasn't Dr. Hampton." Grissom said putting his hands over this face and letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Has she been under a lot of stress?" The doctor's next question hit him like a bullet to the gut.

"That part comes with the title of crimicalist." Grissom said looking down at the floor. "I don't think there's a day that goes by that we don't get all stressed out about a case or someone we work with at the crime lab…Heaven knows I've had my fair share of it and probably put her through enough of it to."

Grissom closed his eyes and just shook his head.

"This is entirely my fault…Will she be able to come back to work."

Grissom's main concern was that Sara wouldn't be able to do the things she loved.

"Well, I'm afraid we need to keep her for a few days to run some more test on her…I hate to have to tell you this but Miss. Sidle may have cancer."

Grissom put his hand over his heart and looked up at the doctor.

"No, please tell me it's not true."

"We still have to run a few more tests but I do not like her white blood count, I think she may have leukemia."

Dr. Hampton watched as tears fell down Grissom's cheeks and disappeared into his bread.

"Thank you, when can I see her?" Grissom asked looking over at the doctor who had just torn his world apart.

"You can see her right know. She still hasn't woken up from the medicine we had to give her but she should wake up in a few minutes. Are you her husband?"

Dr. Hampton looked at Grissom as he stood at the doorway of the waiting room.

"No." Grissom said turning and walking out the door and down the hallway to find Sara's room.

When he opened the door the sight that greeted him was almost enough to make him cry.

Sara lay in the bed, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling in time with the beeping of the heart monitor at the side of her bed.

Grissom walked forward and sat down in a chair watching her breathe and wondering what the man in the video had done to her to scare her so bad.

He wondered if the man had hurt her or if he was an old friend or boyfriend who had done her wrong.

Her groans made him look over at her. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw him sitting there.

"Hey baby, how do you feel?" Grissom asked taking her hand and kissing it.

"Better," Sara said closing her eyes and sighing. "What happened to me Grissom?" She asked looking back at him, love radiating from her eyes.

"You had a heart attack likely brought on by stress."

"It's not your fault." Sara said when she heard the hint of guilt in his voice.

Grissom looked away for a few minutes then looked back at her.

"I know it just feels like it is." He said laying his head down on the bed and sighing heavily.

"What else is wrong with me, Gil?"

The use of his first name by her made tears well up in his eyes and he couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears burst forth and for the first time in a long time Grissom was feeling the pain of the lose he would most likely have to endure if Sara really did have cancer.

"Sara…honey, the doctor thinks you have…leukemia."

The color drained from Sara's face as she looked at him.

"What?" She said unable to believe that her normally healthy body would turn so suddenly sick.

"He said your white blood cell count was way to low and that he would have to run some more test to make sure but he thinks that you have leukemia."

The tears rolled faster down Grissom's face as he watched Sara lick her lips and close her eyes.

"No, I'm fine…I don't have cancer…I can't have cancer…I'm perfectly healthy." She shook her head furiously.

Grissom stood and sat on the edge of the bed beside her and held her close.

"I'm so sorry, Sara." Grissom said burring his head in her neck and crying with her.

"It's not your fault, Grissom…you didn't give me cancer." Sara said wrapping her arms around him and holding him close to her.

"I don't know what I'll do if anything happens to you, Sara…I could never love anyone else the way I love you."

Tears feel down Sara's cheeks and she kissed him tenderly.

"I've loved you for so long that I've forgotten how to do anything else." He added whipping the tears from her eyes with one large hand.

"I know the feeling." Sara said laying her head over on his shoulder.

"I love you, Sara Marie Sidle." Grissom said and kissed her again. "I'm going to be here for you through everything, I promise."

The last words made her cry more than the first one's. To know he loved her so much that he would put him self through the pain of watching her shrivel up and die if she had cancer. She would have expected any other man to take off out the door and never be heard from again but this was Grissom, her Grissom, a man who unlike all the others knew how to love without conditions and how to love with all his heart.

"I love you too and I know you'll be here." Sara said breathing a sigh and putting her hand on his cheek to caress his face.

The tears came harder at the feel of Sara's hand on his face. She was shaking probably scared to death. He had made her the promise to always be there and that was one of his promises that in all his life he would make sure he kept.

"Come on you need to lay down and get so rest…the doctor will probably start all his tests tomorrow and you need to conserve your energy." Grissom said laying Sara back down and going to climb from the bed.

"Stay." She demanded scooting over and giving him room on the bed.

Grissom looked skeptical but did as she asked.

Slowly they both feel into an uneasy sleep filled with dreams of death and pain.

TBC…………

Write me and tell me if I should continue with this train of thought.

-KC