Part 5
Sally
came back from the kitchen and handed Ric a glass of water.
He
took two small sips and tried to calm down.
Sally sat down next to
him again. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Ric felt kind of
embarrassed because he had broken down like that when they were
talking.
When Sally had asked why he wanted to be just like him he
had only shrugged, tears still streaming down his face and said he
admired him for always staying positive and strong.
It was the
truth, but there was more to it than just two adjectives; there were
loads of memories.
Sally had tried asking about it, but Ric just
said that was it. The way he had avoided looking at her when he said
it made her sure there was more to it than he said, but she knew it
was things he maybe wanted to keep to himself.
He
had just been there as a doctor. He could have been there as his
friend, but of course he had to mess it up by telling him he didn't
need a friend!
Not that it mattered, Flynn had given up on him
now. Yesterday it looked like he had decided not to give up after all
because Dalby actually had said goodbye in a civilised way.
But
Dalby knew he had messed it up again now. All the things he said
about hating his father and how happy he was that he was dead had to
have made Flynn give up. Not the most patient person in the world
would be able to give him another chance after that.
He just keep
blowing it because he was so angry.
Knowing that made him even
angrier, plus he was already in a bad mood after the funeral.
At
least Flynn was still in his room, even though it probably was
because he had to as a doctor. No matter what the reason was it
helped a bit, because at least now he had someone to talk to. If he
started talking to himself they would all agree he was crazy, and
then they would find him a nice padded room with no window.
As
long as someone was in the room he could ramble on about how much he
hated his father, and make himself look even worse that he already
did in their eyes.
They were probably right though, he was
probably a lost case... Crazy... Sick and twisted... Evil...
Luckily
Flynn wasn't like the other doctors and nurses. Whenever he started
talking about how much he hated his father they told him to calm
down. Flynn didn't say anything, he just looked at him, listening
to every word he said. It was impossible to see what he was thinking,
he could find it interesting or he could be bored. He could believe
him or he could think he was a liar.
Dalby was sure he thought the
worst. He probably found this pathetic loser hilarious because he
kept talking about the same boring and stupid lie.
But at least he
didn't tell him to calm down. Every now and then he reminded him
that if he let Owen get to him he would let him win, but other than
that he let Dalby ramble on as much as he wanted.
No
matter how angry and evil this troubled boy seemed Flynn was sure it
was just a defence.
He had heard the talk in the hallways; the
interns and nurses trying to avoid getting his room on their list. No
one wanted to be there, they felt uncomfortable, some even scared,
and no one knew how to react when he was talking.
Flynn had came
to the conclusion that letting him let out his anger by talking was
better than making him even angrier by telling him to calm down.
The
poor boy refused to talk about what his father did to him to the
psychologist. The psychologist, Dr. Evans was a brave woman. Only she
and Flynn visited Dalby other than when they were practically forced
to. But she couldn't get anything out of him. He just answered back
in a rude way and refused to tell her anything about how he felt.
The
only way they ever got anything out of him was when he was
complaining loudly about it to whoever was in the room. Perhaps it
wasn't the best way (especially considering a dozen interns who
would probably be scared away from medical school for the rest of
their lives) to do it, but both Flynn and Dr. Evans was sure it was
better than him keeping everything to himself.
Eric Dalby was
probably not aware of it, but he answered a lot of the questions the
psychologist asked. – Just not during their sessions...
Every
time he spat out how much he hated his father an intern moved further
down the hall and away from the room, praying to be asked to clean
patients instead of walking rounds. But every time he spat it out and
yet another intern was scared away from medicine for a lifetime Flynn
saw the despair in Dalby's eyes. He was so scared, and Flynn had a
feeling he believed in every bad word everyone had ever said about
him.
Just the fact that he talked about how angry he was without
being asked, told Flynn there was something more than just a angry
boy hating everyone. If he really was so bad he wouldn't have been
there, he would have been dead a long time ago. He was strong, he was
fighter... He just didn't know it himself.
It was all just a
defense because he was scared, and Flynn tried not to make him any
more scared. He was honest, but willing to watch Dalby crossing the
line without freaking out and evacuating the hospital.
The
anger was so overwhelming. He just had to spit out every bad word
about his father he could think of. And yet Flynn just stood there
patient, listening.
Was it because he still hadn't given up? Or
because he had given up but was offered a raise to stick in there and
listen to what he thought was lies from an angry psycho?
"I hate
him!" Dalby repeated for the fifth time since they came back from
the church, "He deserved it!"
Flynn
knew he didn't mean it. He was just defending himself, making up an
excuse so what he had done wouldn't seem so bad.
He didn't
hate him either, he was just scarred on the inside from years of
abuse, and now he was at a breaking point, desperately trying to keep
everything together.
"You remember what I said about not letting
your father win?" Flynn reminded him. He was on Dalby's side when
he said that, it just confused the boy a bit because no one had ever
been on his side before.
Dalby didn't answer, he just continued
trying to take his shirt off. He was so bruised and wounded it even
hurt to loosen the tie and unbutton the shirt. Every time he moved to
loosen a button his face was twisted in pain. Just not only from the
physical pain.
He could see Dalby getting closer every second, he
was so close to breaking down now... If he'd just let go of that
defense and show some real emotions...
"I
loved him!" Dalby burst out, shocked to realise he was starting to
cry. He couldn't stop it, panicked.
A few dry, painful coughs
before he gave in to the tears and leaned forwards.
Tears
were running down his face erasing the last bits of his tough image,
as he leaned towards Flynn, feeling years of pain being released in
just a few seconds.
He was scared, ashamed, angry, bitter,
relieved, sad, panicking... Everything at once, and it was just too
much to handle, so he just cried to the doctor he wanted to be just
like. The doctor who had shown him tough love and given him chance
after chance, sacrificing traumatized interns to listen to his
endless and angry complaining.
Flynn didn't say anything now
either, he just stood there, allowing him to lean towards him and cry
his eyes out like a pathetic child, before he carefully moved his
hand and patted his shoulder gently so it wouldn't hurt.
Dr.
Flynn Saunders hadn't given up yet.
