Part 3 – Pregnancy is a bitch
Time skip – 2 months later
Zetsu's Room:
Zetsu: pokes the small
mound that is his belly Hmm...
Tobi: Zetsu-san? You've been in
the bathroom for almost 10 minutes. Are you okay?
Zetsu: I'm fine.
walks out But my stomach is getting bigger ...
Tobi: Let me
see.
Zetsu pulls up his shirt to expose his belly
Tobi: Wow,
that's amazing ... I still wonder how you did this.
Zetsu: serene
stare
Tobi: ;; uh, never mind
Kisa and Ita's
room:
renching sound from bathroom
Itachi: groans as he
wipes his mouth This is ... not normal ... stands up and looks at
himself in the mirror, pale and sweaty ...I look disgusting. washes
face
Kisame wonders in Hey, feeling better?
Itachi: No. I
wish I knew what this was ... looks at feet ...what the
...
Kisame: Itachi?
Itachi: runs hand over belly My stomach
...
Kisame: stares, then eyes go wide Your stomach is getting
bigger, but the rest of your body isn't ...
Itachi: What does
that mean?
Kisame: shakes head No, it's not possible
...!
Itachi: annoyed WHAT is not possible?
Kisame: turns
pale Itachi ... I think ... you're pregnant.
(Long
silence)
Itachi:
...
"WWWWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Outside
base, the trees shake
Sasori & Deidara's Room:
POUND POUND
POUND!
Sasori: groggily answers door Kisame, do you know what
time it is?
Kisame: Yeah, it's early. We think Itachi's pregnant;
can you examine him for us?
Sasori: Wha...? sleepily looks at
Kisame and Itachi, standing next to him I'm not a doctor, I'm
puppeteer.
Kisame: Close enough! Scoot. pushes his way in
anyway
Deidara: on his own bed Danna...? What's going
on?
Itachi: sitting down on Sasori's empty bed Kisame thinks I'm
pregnant.
Deidara: But you're a guy
Itachi: pulls shirt over
his head
Deidara: O.o Un...
Sasori: stares at the unusually
round belly How did you?
Itachi: glares
Deidara: You're
not asexual too, are you?
Itachi: Do I look like plant to
you?
Sasori: coming closer to the bed That definitely LOOKS
pregnant, but I still don't see how you could have gotten that
way.
Kisame: Um...cough suppose someone used a certain jutsu to
uh, "change" things?
Sasori: You used a jutsu to get
PREGNANT?
Kisame: Not to get pregnant! It was just to...um,
well...you know.
Deidara: I thought you were gay, un.
Kisame:
Of course not! I'm bi.
Deidara: Is there a difference? You dating
a
Itachi: There's a difference.
Next Door:
Hidan:
hurries into his room Kakuzu!
Kakuzu: still trying to sleep
Yes, Hidan?
Hidan: I think they're having pyjama party in Sasori
and Deidara's room!
Kakuzu: That's nice, Hidan.
Hidan: Let's go
join in!
Kakuzu: No.
Hidan: You're no fun. What are you going
to do when there's a baby running around and he wants to
play?
Kakuzu: Lock the door?
Hidan: This is exactly why you can
never have children! You'd make a neglectful, angry father!
Kakuzu:
snore
Hidan: huff, goes back into the hallway
Sas & Dei's room:
Deidara: But what kind
of difference? I mean-
Sasori: Deidara, I'll tell you later. Right
now can we focus on this.
Deidara: Alright comes over to the bed
too woah ...
Sasori: I'm going to have to touch you, okay? looks
up at Itachi
Itachi: nods
Sasori: touches the bulge, then
the area around it with a frown. Finally stands up again There's no
doubt about it. You're definitely pregnant, as crazy as it
is.
Kisame: Woah ...
Itachi: So ... in 7 months ...
Sasori:
Yup.
Itachi: And I'll be ...
Sasori: Yup.
Kisame: And I'll
be ...
Deidara: Yup!
(Itachi and Kisame look at each
other)
Outside room:
Hidan: I wonder what they're all
doing.
(Hears a loud shout)
Hidan: O.O! What's going on here?
walks inside
(Itachi is passed out on the bed and Kisame is
trying to wake him up with Deidara and Sasori watching)
Hidan:
What's going on here?
Sasori: Itachi is pregnant.
Hidan: ITACHI
is?! But he's a-
Dei & Sas: We know.
Hidan: So then how did
he-
Dei & Sas: Who knows?
Kisame: Aah ... he turned himself
into a girl and then ... turns a little purple
Hidan: Awww! He
did that for you? How sweet!
Kisame: Don't mention it to him
if you value your life, Hidan.
Hidan: Er, right then.
Itachi:
.
Sasori: You should probably tell Leader-sama about
this.
Kisame: still sitting on the bed with an unconscious Itachi
on his lap Yeah, probably...Think I should wait until Itachi wakes
up?
Itachi: ...
Sasori: That wouldn't be a good
idea.
Kisame: sigh, looks at partner's stomach
Deidara: We'll
keep an eye on him, un!
Kisame: Okay, thanks. gets up,
leaves
Hidan: comes to sit beside Deidara on his bed You know
what this means, right?
Deidara: What?
Hidan: BABY
SHOWERS!
Deidara: YEAH!
Kakuzu: in his room, rolling over in
his sleep Fruits...
In the Leader's Office:
Leader: So,
Zetsu, how's the baby coming along?
Zetsu: idly rubbing his baby
bump Good.
Leader: Good, do you know if it's a boy or a girl
yet?
Zetsu: I think it's too early for that, sir.
Leader:
Right. Well...what about kicking?
Zetsu: Too early, sir.
Leader:
Oh. pause
Zetsu: idle
expression
Leader:...
Zetsu:...
Leader:...can I touch
it?
Zetsu: Sure. lifts his shirt and let's the Leader walk over
and began rubbing his stomach
Leader: still rubbing Have you
thought about what you're going to do about the baby when you're on
missions?
Zetsu: Not really
Knock, Knock, Knock!
Leader:
Yes?
Kisame: walks into the office Sir, I think there's
something me and Itachi should... pauses and stares at Zetsu's still
raised shirt and the Leader's hand still stroking the mound
Um...should I come back later?
Leader: ...um.
Sas & Dei's room:
Hidan: whisper wanna
go wake up Kakuzu and tell him the news?
Deidara: Okay, after you
explain bi-sexual to me, un.
Hidan: sits in his 'teacher' pose
Basically, a bi-sexual person is someone who is attracted to both
sexes. They are different from Heterosexual and Homosexual in that
they don't act much different from heterosexual people, except they
also don't mind the company of their own gender. Most ninja are bi,
like most of the people here.
Deidara: Why is that, un?
Hidan:
shrugs who knows?
Deidara: un. Now, let's wake up
Kakuzu!
Hidan: Hang on, what about Itachi?
(both glance at the
bed, where Itachi is still passed out)
Deidara: I guess we better
look after him or Kisame will kill us.
Hidan: sighs and sits on
the bed next to Itachi's feet I guess so.
Deidara: looks over
Itachi's body and then the small mound at his stomach this is so
weird ...
Hidan: Yeah ...
Itachi: grumbles in his unconscious
state Mnh ... Kisame ...
Leader-sama's office:
Zetsu: No,
it is fine. lets shirt fall down over his belly again
Leader:
stands up What's wrong with Itachi and you?
Kisame: Well ... the
thing is ... awkward
Leader: Yes?
Kisame: I know this is
unbelievable, but Itachi's pregnant.
(long slience)
Leader:
...The hell?! How the heck is THAT possible?!
Kisame: Well, you
see ... about two months ago Itachi turned himself into a woman and
... well yeah.
Leader: Yes I get it. Still ... how can Itachi
remain pregnant now that he's back to normal?
Zetsu: If he became
pregnant within 24 hours, the body probably reacted and hence, why he
is still pregnant now.
Leader: turns to him and there's no way
to reverse it?
Zetsu: I doubt it.
Leader: deep sigh Oh well,
I guess we can't help it now. But seriously Kisame, ever heard of a
condom?!
Kisame: splutters Would YOU ever expect this to
happen?
Leader: I suppose not ...
Deidara: What do you think he's dreaming about,
un?
Sasori: Something that involves not being pregnant, I'm
sure.
Deidara: hovering over Uchiha Maybe we should wake him up
and see?
Sasori: I wouldn't do that.
Deidara: Why not,
un?
Sasori: Because he's going to be upset.
Deidara: Why,
un?
Sasori:'duh' look Because he wasn't expecting to be told
that he's pregnant today.
Deidara: So, how did he STAY
pregnant?
Sasori: Deidara, I'm not going to explain male pregnancy
to you. Wait until Itachi wakes up and ask him.
Deidara: evil
grin, reaches toward Itachi
Sasori: And DON'T WAKE HIM
UP.
Deidara: But danna!
Sasori: Think of something
else.
Deidara: pout Okay...where did Hidan go?
In the
Next Room:
Hidan: ...And then they told me that ITACHI is pregnant
now too! Are you listening, Kakuzu? Now we have TWO babies
coming.
Kakuzu: groggy Wait a second...Itachi's the one pregnant
now?
Hidan: Yep. I wonder what religion Itachi is going to
want to raise him as?
Kakuzu: grumble I wonder if he's going to
raise it at all...
Hidan: glare What was that?
Kakuzu:
Nothing, Hidan. So how did he react?
Hidan: Actually, I think he
fainted.
Kakuzu: ITACHI fainted?
Hidan: He's still sleeping
now.
Kakuzu: You didn't leave him alone, did you?
Hidan: Of
course not. Why?
Kakuzu: ...no reason.
Sasori: He probably went to get Kakuzu.
Deidara:
Aah, I'm boooored Danna. Tell me about male pregnancy!
Sasori:
No.
Deidara: But I wanna-
Sasori: No.
Deidara: Come on
danna-
Sasori: NO.
Deidara: But I want a baby, un!
Sasori:
HELL NO!
Deidara: Aww ...
Sasori: Look ... it's enough with 2
being born soon.
Deidara: But how would a guy get pregnant, un?
They don't have the ... stuff inside them do they, un?
Sasori:
No they don't, but if you tweaked the circumstances ...
Deidara:
Like, un?
Sasori: sigh like using a jutsu to make your body like
a girl's.
Deidara: And ITACHI did that? looks over at the Uchiha
no way, un!
Sasori: Not intentionally, I bet.
(Hidan comes back
in with Kakuzu with him)
Hidan: Hey! Itachi woken up yet?
Deidara:
No, he's still sleeping ...
(all look at him before going over to
the bed to crowd around it)
Sasori: I feel sorry for him.
Hidan:
He looks so much more peaceful when he's sleeping doesn't he?
Kakuzu:
I think everyone does.
Deidara: I wonder what his baby's going to
look like, un?
(They all look at each other)
Hidan: I hope it
has Itachi's looks.
Everyone: Agreed.
Elsewhere:
Leader-sama:
So, who is going to take of the babies while you are out on
missions?
Zetsu: ...
Kisame: Maybe ... Tobi?
Zetsu: He might
do it.
Leader-sama: That's an option. Well, at least we have a
couple of recruits in case we need them walks off pondering
Dismissed.
Kisame: walks back to Sasori's room I hope Itachi
doesn't kill me for this ...
A Few Hours Later:
Sasori: talking to Kisame
in the hall So, how did he take the news after he woke up?
Kisame:
Honestly, I don't know.
Itachi: visible through open bedroom
doorway, laying on his bed staring at the ceiling
Sasori: He's
probably still in shock. His body isn't exactly designed for
childbearing.
Kisame: Still, he hasn't said much since he woke up.
I'm starting to get worried.
Sasori: It's probably just a little
harder for him to digest the idea. He's the one that has the baby
inside him after all.
Kisame: Still...
Sasori: Stop worrying,
he'll be fine.
both stop when springs squeal from inside Itachi
and Kisame's bedroom
Itachi: Kisame?
Kisame: leaving Sasori
to peeking into the room Yes, Itachi?
Itachi: siting on bed with
his hand cupping his swollen belly ...I think I want ice
cream.
Kisame: Okay...
Itachi: With sprinkles.
Kisame:
blink Sure, I'll get that. starts to leave
Itachi: And French
fries too!
Kisame: in the hall Okay, I'll make sure to pick
those up too.
Itachi: And
Kisame: stops Do you just want to
come with me?
Itachi: grumble No.
Deidara: calling from
inside HIS room Can I have ice cream too?
Sasori: No.
Deidara:
But dannaaa!
Sasori: No, once you have ice cream, you're
completely useless for the rest of the day.
Deidara: But were not
even on a mission!
Sasori: That doesn't matter.
Deidara: That's
not fair!
Sasori: It's practical. Remember that time you tried to
blow up a woman's hat after I gave you
Deidara: Danna!
Sasori:
You can have ice cream later.
Deidara: But Kisame's leaving now,
um! Right Kisame?...Kisame?
Kisame: has already left
Half an hour later:
Kisame: There ya go, sits on the bed and hands
Itachi the ice cream with sprinkles and French fries
Itachi:
takes them and eats them by dipping the chips in the ice
cream
Kisame: O.o ... Um ... Itachi?
Itachi: Mm? finishes
the cone off happily
Kisame: Are you ... okay?
Itachi: ...
looks away and putting a hand to his belly This is very strange
...
Kisame: I'm sorry ...
Itachi: shakes head No, we both
didn't ever expect this to happen. And ... I don't think you wanted
to do this to me.
Kisame: No! Of course not!
Itachi: looks
over Then that's fine. We'll just have to deal with this as it
comes.
Kisame: smiles slightly and nods You're taking this very
well.
Itachi: shrugs I always wanted to revive my clan anyway. I
just didn't expect it to be quite like this.
Kisame:
chuckles Well then, it looks like we're going to have an
interesting time, these next few months ...
Itachi: Ah ... moves
hand over stomach
Kisame: ... slowly puts his hand on top of
Itachi's Um ...
Itachi: looks over with an unreadable
expression, but takes hand away and lets Kisame touch his
belly
Kisame: rubs This really is amazing though ...
Itachi:
I'm glad you think so.
Kisame: looks up I'll make sure to help
as much as I can, okay?
Itachi: small smile, nods
Next
room:
Sasori: Really Deidara, you're already trying to master
that?
Deidara: reading a knitting book But you're
supposed to knit things for babies, un!
Sasori: sigh When will
you ever grow up?
Deidara: Un?
Sasori: ...
Deidara: Stop being negative, and help me cast
off, un!
Sasori: "Cast off?"
Deidara: I'm going to
start making a scarf for the baby, un!
Sasori: Why would a
baby need a scarf HERE?
Deidara: Because he's cold, of
course!
Sasori: We're in the River Country, Deidara. I don't think
it will really get that cold stops when he gets a Stop Being
Negative or You're Sleeping in the Hall look...sigh What do you
want me to do?
Deidara: beams Sit next to me and hold out your
hands, un!
In the Leader's Office:
Knock, knock,
knock
Leader-sama: Enter.
Kakuzu and Hidan come in
Kakuzu:
You wanted to see us, sir?
Leader-sama: Yes. I know it's the off
season, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut your vacation
short
Hidan: We have a mission already?
Leader-sama: Sort
of.
Kakuzu: ...?
Leader-sama: A friend of mine living in the
Sea Country recently sent me a message telling about a certain jutsu
scroll he received recently that I think might be able to help us
with our current situation.
Kakuzu: And our mission is
to...?
Leader-sama: You are to go to the Sea Country and borrow
that scroll from my acquaintance.
Kakuzu: So, you want us to cut
our vacation short so that we can run off and be your...messenger
boys?
Hidan: elbows Kakuzu's stomach
Kakuzu: gives a 'What?'
glare
Leader-sama: Well, if you don't want the mission, you don't
have to go. But that jutsu would have been able to help us speed up
the development of Itachi and Zetsu's babies. The Akatsuki doesn't
have the funds to support two children through infancy. What with
clothes, and food, and diapers... But I suppose we can manage, with a
few SALARY REDUCTIONS.
Kakuzu: ...Damn. --
Leader-sama:
smirk See you in a few weeks.
Sasori: Holds out hands
Deidara: shows him
what to do, and eventually, Sasori holds a small scarf
Sasori:
Woah ... holds it up you did this all by yourself?
Deidara: Yup,
un!
Sasori: Huh, you're not so dumb after all ...
Deidara:
That's mean, Sasori-danna, un!
Sasori: Well, it's the truth isn't
it?
Deidara: Just because of how I look doesn't mean I'm
dumb!
Sasori: Fair enough, Mr.
I-didn't-have-a-clue-about-gay-sex.
Deidara: sniffles you're
so mean ...
Sasori: satisfied now, how do you knit
anyway?
Deidara: Hmph! I'm not telling you, un.
On the
mission:
Hidan: Ne, Kakuzu, are you starting to think this is
getting to be more trouble than it's worth?
Kakuzu: What
is?
Hidan: The whole thing about having two children running
around! Going to the sea country ... it's troublesome!
Kakuzu: And
you didn't think of this when you told Zetsu to impregnate
himself?
Hidan: sigh I guess not ... still, It'll be so fun to
watch Itachi in labour snickers
Kakuzu: O.O! You seriously think
Itachi would let you watch something like that?
Hidan: evil grin
Well, I can get Leader-sama to do his Video-camera no jutsu and watch
like that
Kakuzu: ...baka.
Three Months Later:
Itachi: Kisame?
Kisame:
is asleep
Itachi: Kisame! shakes shark nin's shoulder
Kisame:
Hmm...Itachi? What time is-
Itachi: Do you still find me
attractive?
Kisame: O.O ...Of course I do. Is everything
alright?
Itachi: Your baby won't let me sleep.
Kisame: Ah, I
see... glances over at the bedside table on his side It's three in
the morning! Have you been awake all night?
Itachi: On and off. I
think it's nocturnal.
Kisame: sits up and scoots closer to his
weasel One of these days we have to ask Zetsu how he deals with
this.
Itachi: snort Zetsu's baby is a freak that doesn't twist
or kick or make him have to use the bathroom at odd hours. ( --
mood swings and frustrating sleeping hours are making him snappy...er
than usual)
Kisame: Where is he kicking?
Itachi: takes
Kisame's hand and slides it over his stomach to a spot under his
bellybutton I think it's trying to punch a hole through me.
Kisame:
It feels like he's stopped.
Itachi: Hm, just wait. The second you
go back to sleep, he'll start doing it again.
Kisame: wraps his
remaining arm around Itachi's waist and pulls him closer I'll stay
up with you then.
Itachi: head dropping to Kisame's shoulder
You better.
Meanwhile:
Tobi: Zetsu-san?
Zetsu: Yes,
Tobi?
Tobi: I thought I heard something, are you alright?
Zetsu:
I'm fine, Tobi.
Tobi: Okay...are you sure?
Zetsu: still laying
bed Mm-hmm.
Tobi: ...Not hungry, or achy, or anything?
Zetsu:
No.
Tobi: ...Is the baby okay?
Zetsu: yawning Baby's asleep,
Tobi.
Tobi: Oh...okay, then.
Zetsu: rolls over and nuzzles his
pillow to making himself comfortable
Tobi: still standing in the
doorway Uh, Zetsu...?
Zetsu: Hmm...what is it, Tobi?
Tobi: Um,
can I sleep with you?
Zetsu: Good ahead.
4 MORE months later:
Itachi: holding stomach with a wince Ouch
...
Kisame: looks over Itachi? You okay?
Itachi: Yeah ... it
kicked again.
Kisame: walks over and puts a hand on his partner's
large stomach Heh, I think he's going to be strong, no?
Itachi:
Considering the amount of times he tried to punch a hole though me,
then yes, I'd hope so.
Kisame: chuckles Well, it's almost over,
isn't it?
Itachi: Nearly.
Kisame: nods
(A few hours
later)
Itachi: gasps, then doubles over
Kisame: Itachi! runs
over and then puts a hand on his back What's wrong?!
Itachi:
opens one eye I think ... its-aah! winces again
Kisame:
Quickly, transform, it'll make some of the pain go.
Itachi:
trembling slightly, holds up hand, and transforms part of his body
into a female's Okay ...
Kisame: We need to get you into the
room Leader-sama set up carefully picks his partner up Lets
go!
Itachi: grabs Kisame to glare, but winces again, and decides
not to comment
Meanwhile:
Hidan: Hey Kakuzu!
Quick!
Kakuzu: What is it now?
Hidan: Itachi is in labour! Come
on, lets go help him out!
Kakuzu: Do we have to, it's bound to be
really weird.
Hidan: Come ON! grabs him and drags him
along
(They pass Sasori and Deidara, who join in)
Zetu's
room:
Tobi: Zetsu? How long now?
Zetsu: It wont be long.
Tobi:
Should I make preparations?
Zetsu: There is no need. I don't
need all of that stuff like normal people.
Tobi: O-okay, Zetsu-san
...
In the Hall:
Sasori: walking a little faster
to tap Hidan's shoulder What's happening?
Hidan: Itachi's water
broke!
Deidara: Un? How does that...work for a guy, un?
Sasori:
ignoring Deidara Has anyone told Leader-sama?
Hidan: ...Someone
should probably do that.
Sasori: You go tell him, Deidara and I
will go help him.
Hidan: Why do you get to go with
Itachi?
Deidara: Because he's the doctor, un!
Hidan: He's a
puppet maker.
Deidara: Close enough!
Kakuzu: stops, turns, and
pulls on Hidan's jacket Come on, lets just go.
Hidan: grumbles,
but complies
(Both start down the hallway in the opposite
direction and pass Tobi)
Tobi: What's going on?
Hidan: Itachi's
in labor.
Tobi: gaps as Hidan and Kakuzu disappear down the hall,
then turns and runs into his bedroom Zetsu!!
Elsewhere:
Itachi:
grimacing Oh god...!
Kisame: What's happening?
Itachi:
clutching his stomach It's trying to...kill...grits teeth
me!
Sasori: to Kisame Is he going to be able to hold that form
through birth?
Itachi: pained growl
Kisame: I'm not sure.
It's better to have him like this during the contractions
though.
Sasori: pulling up Itachi's shirt I might be able to cut
the baby out.
Kisame: I'm pretty sure Itachi would rather have it
naturally.
Sasori: stare You're talking about a MAN giving
birth.
Itachi: growl/pant Which one's faster?
In the halls:
Tobi: Oh god oh god oh god!
running towards Zetsu's room What if he's in pain?! What if he
needs help! ZETSU-SAN!
(Door opens)
Tobi: stops
Zetsu-san?
Zetsu: Walks out holding a bundle in one arm Yes,
Tobi?
Tobi: O.O ... You've ... already ... had yours?!
Zetsu:
nod
Tobi: peers into the towel to see a replica of Zetsu,
except more feminine and no plant It's a girl?
Zetsu: Yes.
Tobi:
Wow ... what are you going to call her?
Zetsu: Hana.
Tobi:
Nice! We better go and see Itachi, maybe you can give him
tips?
Zetsu: I suppose he would be having troubles?
Tobi: I
think so.
Tobi and Zetsu walk off
Leader's office:
Hidan:
Leader!
Leader: Knock when you come in.
Kakuzu: Itachi's in
labour.
Leader: I know. holds up video camera no jutsu screen
I'll go now. It's probably better if everyone else stays clear.
Itachi is bound to be aggravated.
Hidan: O-okay ...
disappointed
Elsewhere:
(Sasori and Kisame look at each
other)
Kisa & Sas: Natural I think.
Itachi: growls and
winces As long ... as I get this ... damn-ah! brat out I don't
care!
Sasori: Okay then ... flipping though book It says here
that you have to be dilated 10cm before you can start to push the
baby out.
Itachi: So how the hell ... far ... am I?!
Voice:
About 8cm. You've got 2cm to go.
(Kisame & Sasori look to see
Leader peering between Itachi's legs)
Itachi: heat rises to face
You PERVERT! kicks Leader-sama in the face
Kisame: O.O!
Leader:
rubs nose Nice to know you appreciate the help. glares
Kisame:
I DONT think Itachi is used to something like this, you know!
Itachi:
Just get it ou-AAAH! trembles as contraction hits and he grabs
Kisame's hand
Sasori: Itachi, just try to relax as much as
possible, alright?
Itachi: nearly breaking Kisame's fingers
Nnn-fine! If it'll end this sooner!
Kisame: trying not to wince
in pain
In the Hall:
Hidan: ...it's just not fair!
Deidara and Sasori get to see the birthing, and Sasori wasn't even
interested in it until Deidara kicked him into caring! Why can't
Leader-sama make HIM stay away?
Kakuzu: Sasori has a better
knowledge of the human body than you do, Leader-sama probably thought
that he was a more practical choice
Hidan: But DEIDARA is still
in there
Farther down the hall: Un?
Hidan: stops
Deidara?
Deidara: Hi, un!
Hidan: What are you doing out
here?
Deidara: pout Leader-sama kicked me out when he arrive,
un! He said I might make Itachi nervous!
Hidan: What? Why would
you do that...?
Deidara: That's what I said!
Kakuzu: not
listening to the others as he keeps walking down the
hall
Meanwhile:
Itachi: How much longer is this going to
take?!
Sasori: Patience, Itachi. You're still not at 10 cm
yet.
Itachi: growls and clutches Kisame's now faintly purple
hand
Kisame: mouths the word "Owch" over his partner's
head toward Sasori
Zetsu: behind Kisame How is he
feeling?
Kisame: jumps When did you...? glances toward the
floor behind him, where Zetsu's are just finishing stepping out of
the ground Never mind.
Itachi: Where did your baby bump
go?
Zetsu: Tobi's watching her.
Itachi: YOU ALREADY HAD
IT?!
Zetsu: Yes.
Itachi: Wh-when...AHH!
Sasori: He's almost
there now. peering between Itachi's legs
Zetsu: Hm. comes to
take a look
Itachi: Yes, let's all look at my vagina! growl
In the Hall:
Hidan: Hmmm, oh well, I guess
we'll have to wait until it's born before we can see it.
Deidara:
I wonder what it'll look like ...?
Kakuzu: suddenly puts hand
over mouth MPH!
Hidan: Kakuzu?
Kakuzu: I ... don't want to
know ...
Deidara: Hey! Kisame isn't that bad looking you
know!
Hidan: I bet he was really cute as a kid
Deidara:
Hehe, I think so too!
Kakuzu: ... you two are loonies
...
Meanwhile:
Zetsu: Okay, Itachi, I need you to take a
deep breath.
Itachi: What?! Why would I-
Zetsu: It'll make this
easier.
Kisame: stroking Itachi's hand Just try it,
okay?
Itachi: glares ... takes a deep breath
Zetsu: Now
let it out slowly.
Itachi: does so, and feels the pain ebb a bit
...
Zetsu: Just try and relax as much as possible, and then
concentrate on pushing the baby out.
Itachi: tries this Nn ...
grabs Kisame's hand as another contraction ripples though his body,
though not as painful Okay, what next?
Sasori: You're at 10cm
now.
Kisame: Wow, what a difference!
Zetsu: At the next
contraction, start to push it out.
Itachi: Okay. waits for a
moment before it hits, then starts to push
Sasori: I can see a
head!
Itachi: Ngh! Now what? pant
Zetsu: When the next
contraction hits, push again. Repeat until the baby is out.
Itachi:
nods
Outside the Birthing Room:
Deidara: So un, if
he looks more like Itachi, you do my share of the dishes,
right?
Hidan: And if he looks more like Kisame, you clean the
toilets for me.
Kakuzu: You're betting on it?
Hidan: Why
not? I hate that job.
Deidara: Me too. Soap tastes awful,
un.
Kakuzu: looking at Hidan Are you even allowed to
gamble?
Hidan: glares
Voice: AHHH!!
Deidara: jumping up
Was that it?!
Kakuzu: No. grumble It came from down the
hall.
(All look down the hall to see Tobi running toward
them)
Tobi: hysterical She bit me! She actually BIT me!
Deidara:
What?
Tobi: waves one hand in the air I was just playing with
Zetsu's daughter, and then suddenly she gabbed my hand a BIT me!
Look, she got through my glove!
Hidan: Zetsu's already had his
baby?
Tobi: Yeah. catching his breath from running down the
hallway screaming She's down the hall.
Deidara: YOU LEFT AN
INFANT ALONE?!
Tobi: I'm bleeding!
Deidara: She might fall off
something! Un, or smother herself! D:
Tobi: But
Hidan:
Kakuzu, go watch Zetsu's baby.
Kakuzu: No.
Hidan: Kakky, you
heard Deidara, she might hurt herself!
Kakuzu: Then you go.
Hidan:
But you're not doing anything!
Kakuzu: Neither are you.
(Door
opens behind them)
Zetsu: Leader-sama wants to know why you are
all yelling at each other out here.
Tobi: elbowing past Hidan and
Deidara Zetsu! Hana just tried to bite off my finger! Look!
Zetsu:
blinks slowly, grabs Tobi's hand, and pulls off the glove to examine
it; licks the blood You're going to need thicker gloves. It tastes
good.
Tobi: Z...Z... gaps
Sasori: from inside the room
Zetsu! It's happening, close the door!
Itachi: Ahh, ahh...!
Zetsu:
turns around and starts back inside, closing the door behind him
Hold your breath, Itachi.
(Door closes)
Deidara: Un, well...I
guess we'll see the baby soon then.
Hidan: Yeah... turns to Tobi
So, what do you think the baby will look like?
Tobi: ...Zetsu-san
said I taste good. grinning idiotically under his mask
In the room:
Zetsu: Okay Itachi, push as hard
as you can.
Itachi: Nnnaaah! pushes as hard as he can
Kisame:
cringes as Itachi almost breaks his fingers
Sasori: Two more
pushes should do it!
Itachi: pants a bit, then pushes again Hhn!
Zetsu: Here we go, peers between Itachi's legs again almost
there.
Kisame: How much more now?
Sasori: Just one to
go.
Itachi: nods, then pushes one last time Aaah!
Zetsu: He's
out!
Sasori: goes about cutting the umbilical cord and wrapping
the baby up
Itachi: flops against the pillow, letting the henge
go and going limp
Kisame: Itachi? wipes his forehead with a
cloth
Itachi: Looks over with half closed eyes
Kisame: now
holding the bundle Sasori gave him Do you want to hold him?
Itachi:
...looks over Mm .. okay takes the bundle Woah ...
(Baby has
nearly black hair with pale skin like Itachi's, and Itachi's eyes,
but Kisame's gills and obvious strength.)
Kisame: can't hide
his grin As unexpected as this is, I think I could get used to
it.
Itachi: I just want to sleep ... brushes a lock of hair out
of the baby's face But I suppose he needs a name.
Kisame: Have
you got one in mind?
Itachi: nod Akasahi. (Meaning red rising
sun)
Kisame: wide grin Sounds good!
Outside:
Hidan:
Do you think he's given birth yet?
Kakuzu: I don't know. I doubt I
want to go in there yet anyway.
Deidara: I hope so!
Hidan:
Kyaa! I hope it's a cute baby!
Deidara: I nominate you as the
uncle, un!
Tobi: I'm already an uncle. Kind of.
In the Hall:
Deidara: Hey! Kakuzu, didn't we
tell you to go watch Zetsu's baby?!
Kakuzu: I never said I would
do that.
Hidan: pushing him down the hall Doesn't matter.
Go.
Kakuzu: grumbling What about Tobi?
Tobi:
BLEEDING!
Deidara: pushing Tobi aside We'll send him down once
danna takes a look at his hand, un.
Hidan: Until then, make sure
Zetsu's little girl doesn't hurt herself. makes shoo-ing
motions
Kakuzu: grudgingly starts walking down the hall,
muttering to himself about lazy blonds who don't do anything
In the Birthing Room:
(Sasori has Itachi's
blanket folded over his midsection and is still examining Itachi now
male lower body)
Leader-sama: How is he?
Sasori: It doesn't
look like his body's emptying out anything extra out, but I would
have preferred it if Itachi had kept up the henge a little
longer.
Zetsu: The act of giving birth would leave anyone
drained.
Kisame: looking over from beside Itachi's bed Was it
painful when you did it?
Zetsu: unblinking Incredibly.
Itachi:
AHH!
Kisame: turning back quickly What?!
Itachi: He has your
teeth. holds up one finger with several pink, but not bleeding
points around the tip, then nods toward Akasahi
Leader-sama: He
already has teeth?
Zetsu: Some clans develop teeth before leaving
the womb.
Leader-sama: ...And of course, you would know.
In Zetsu's room:
Kakuzu: grumble Bloody
Hidan and Deidara. Why would they send ME of all people to look after
a newborn? Rr.
Hana: stares up at the new visitor
Kakuzu:
...Okay kid. I aint changing your nappie or anything of the sort, so
too bad if you need to.
Hana: stares some more
Kakuzu: And
quit staring like that!
Hana: starts to cry
Kakuzu: Oh
great... facepalm
(Nappie is the Aussie term for a
diaper, however it's spelt)
In the hall:
(Door opens
and Leader looks out)
Leader: You can come in now if you're
quiet.
Deidara: Okay, un.
(Tobi, Hidan and Deidara enter.
Itachi is resting while Kisame is nursing Akasahi)
Kisame: looks
up Hey!
Deidara: Ooo! takes a peek Aww! He's so cute! And he
looks more like Itachi! Haha, I win the bet, un!
Hidan: smacks
forehead Raa! I should've known!
Kisame: You two bet on something
like that?
Deidara: Well, there was many possibilities on what
he'd look like, so of course, un!
Kisame: smirks heh. Fair
enough.
Akasahi: starts crying for food
Kisame: Woah ... what
now?!
Sasori: He's probably hungry. Normally the mother would
breast feed him, however ... looks at Itachi
Everyone:
...
Kisame: ... nudges Itachi Um, Itachi ...
Itachi: opens
eyes up What is it? tired
Kisame: You, uh ... need to feed him
...
Itachi: Eyes widen Y-you mean-?!
Kisame: Uh, well
...
Itachi: HELL NO! sits up and backs away
(Everyone looks
at each other)
Zetsu: fixing Tobi's hand You could try feeding
him by bottle. That's how I'll have to do it.
Leader: Can you
prepare one?
Zetsu: Nods I'll do it now.
Leader: I brought
some milk power ... talks to Zetsu as they walk out
Hidan: So
what should we do with a crying baby?
Deidara: Try to keep him
quiet, un?
Kisame: rocks him awkwardly Uh, I'm not good at this
...
In Zetsu's Room:
Hidan: coming in from the
hall Kakky, we only left you with her for a second!
Kakuzu:
blinks toward the door That was fast.
Hidan: I've developed a
innate sense of knowing when you're doing something wrong. walks to
the bed and picks up the baby, who immediately stops crying in favor
of staring at the new stranger
Tobi: also stepping in from the
hall Uh...actually, he was walking back.
Hidan: And coming to see
our newest little cannibal. snuggles the baby I don't know what you
were getting so worked up over earlier, Tobi. She doesn't even have
any teeth.
Tobi: grumbling as he strokes his bandaged hand She
did when I left.
Kakuzu: So, when is Leader-sama going to
use...THAT jutsu?
Hidan: Tomorrow, maybe. It's probably better if
we let the babies get their strength up before jumping ahead with
it.
Tobi: Excuse me?
Hidan: Leader-sama is going to skip over
Hana and Akasahi's infant stages.
Kakuzu: Mainly for financial
reasons.
Tobi: Um...do Zetsu and Itachi know?
Hidan and Kakuzu:
exchange a look Um...
Down the Hall:
Itachi: You're going
to WHAT?!
Leader-sama: Itachi, think about it! Can you imagine how
impractical it is for a group of highly wanted criminals to be
raising INFANTS?
Itachi: You're talking about shaving years off my
baby's life!
Leader-sama: It's safer. You're going to be going out
on missions again once you're recovered, and you can't very well take
Akasahi with you.
Kisame: But are you sure that the jutsu's
safe?
Leader-sama: Of course. My acquaintance is an expert
medic-nin.
Itachi: I still don't like this...
Leader-sama: We
can't afford to buy enough formula for two infants. It's either this
or breast feeding.
Deidara: standing on the other side of
Itachi's bed, feeding Akasahi Un...he just bit through the
nipple.
Itachi: unconsciously crosses arms a little more
protectively over his chest ...clears throat When exactly were you
planning on preforming the jutsu?
Zetsu's room:
Tobi: Someone might want to
tell Zetsu-san about this. I don't know how he will react to
this.
Hidan: Now that I think on it, yeah ...
Zetsu: walks in
tell me what?
Kakuzu: Uh ...
Tobi: Leader-sama is planning on
doing a rapid ageing jutsu on Hana and Akasahi. Did you know
that?
Zetsu: No, I didn't. I'll speak to him now. heads out
(all
sigh in relief)
Hidan: He took that better than expected.
Kakuzu:
Thankfully. I doubt Itachi would be the same ...
Elsewhere:
Leader:
It will need to be preformed as soon as possible. It will age both of
the children to the age of 5, and after that, they'll age more slowly
until they reach 10, and after that, normally. Luckily, the jutsu
imparts the education the child would normally receive at that age,
but as for ninjutsu, that'll need to be taught.
Kisame: I can see
the reasoning behind it, but has it been tested?
Leader: Yes.
Several people have tried it in villages that are heavily threatened
and produced great results.
Itachi: glares I still don't like
it.
Zetsu: phazes in What is this about ageing Hana?
Leader:
As I explained, it will age the babies rapidly so they'll be at less
risk while living here. I doubt either of you want them
killed.
Deidara: Un, if I might add, if we get attacked, then they
wouldn't stand a chance.
Itachi: grits teeth ...
Kisame:
Who will be preforming the jutsu?
Leader: I will be.
(everyone
looks at him)
Leader: I managed to master it with the help of my
acquaintance's directions. It will be preformed tomorrow.
Itachi:
glares still If Akasahi is harmed, you will not live to tell the
tale ... passes out
Kisame: Itachi! looks over him
Sasori:
He's exhausted. It's probably best to let him rest.
Kisame:
Nods, then picks him up carefully I'll take him back to his room.
It'll probably help.
Deidara: I'll carry Akasahi, un! follows
Kisame out
In Kisa n' Ita's Room:
Deidara: So, just put
him down anywhere, yeah?
Kisame: laying Itachi down on his bed
Sure, I'll pick him up in a minute. starts pulling back the blankets
around Itachi
Deidara: lingering by the baby So, un, is he
going to be okay with what the Leader is planning?
Kisame: now
tucking Itachi in With the jutsu? Yeah. I'm not crazy about zipping
through Akasahi's childhood, but it's more practical than having them
grow up the normal way. Especially given who
the...mother...is.
Deidara: Un, didn't think about that.
Kisame
comes over to pick up Akasahi, Deidara meanwhile goes to examine
Itachi
Deidara: Un...what about recovery?
Kisame: What about
it?
Deidara: How long do you think it's going to take him to go
back to normal, un?
Kisame: confused Normal?
Deidara: pokes
Itachi's chest That.
Itachi: growls warningly in his
sleep
Kisame: What...? OH! Well, you already heard Itachi say
he's not doing the breast feeding thing. The swelling should fade
away in a week or two.
Deidara: Won't it be painful, un?
Kisame:
I don't know. Maybe
Deidara: I wonder what it tastes like,
un!
silence
Akasahi: chews on Kisame's offered
finger
Kisame: Deidara...I think it's time for you to go to your
own room.
Deidara: Un?
Kisame: Go on.
Deidara: Awwie ...
walks out
Kisame: Phew ... smirks at Akasahi's teeth You've
got a mean bite as well.
Akasahi: chews happily
(Kisame sits
by Itachi's bed and strokes his hair)
Kisame: Probably better if
we all got some rest ...
(Sets Akasahi in Itachi's arms and climbs
into Itachi's bed to curl behind him)
Elsewhere:
Zetsu: I
agree with the ageing process, so long as it's a perfected
jutsu.
Leader: It is.
Zetsu: nod Alright. phases
out
Leader: sigh
Sasori: You honestly didn't think they'd be
protective?
Leader: Zetsu? Yes, Itachi? Not in a million
years.
Sasori: I guess he still has some humanity.
Leader: From
what I heard, him and Kisame have ... bonded a bit over the
past year.
Sasori: I don't really want to think about it
--;
Leader: smirk And you lost your virginity to
Deidara.
Sasori: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Zetsu's room:
Tobi:
Now, Hana, don't bite me this time!
Hana: giggles happily
Tobi:
glare I'm glad you're happy.
Hidan: snickers Poor
Tobi.
Kakuzu: counting his money for entertainment
That Evening:
Itachi: rolls over in his
sleep and curls up around Kisame
Kisame: Hmm...pulls Itachi
closer
Akasahi: left out and tries to reach after Itachi, but
can't; starts crying
Itachi: sits up, suddenly awake What's
that?!
Kisame: blinks Wha...? Hm, crying... rolls over and
tries to go back to sleep
Itachi: scoops up Akasahi I forgot he
was there.
Kisame: Me too. pause, still half asleep Is he
okay?
Itachi: Yes, I think he's hungry though.
Kisame:
Ah...
Itachi: jabs him I need you to go get him some
formula.
Kisame: What?
Itachi: Kisame, wake up!
Kisame:
nuzzling his pillow Hm?
Itachi: kicks him
Meanwhile, in
Zetsu's Room:
Deidara: So Zetsu, un, don't you need to put Hana to
bed?
Tobi: siting with Deidara on Zetsu's bed with Hana between
with them It's getting a little late for a baby.
Zetsu: She'll be
fine.
Tobi: Aren't you tired? You just gave birth a few hours
ago...
Zetsu: No, I'm alright.
Deidara: So, un, did it
hurt?
Zetsu: More than you can imagine.
Tobi: pales under his
mask
Deidara: Oh. And are you recovered, un?
Zetsu:
Mostly.
Deidara: What about breast milk, un?
Tobi: O.O
Zetsu:
pats chest It will fade off after awhile. It wouldn't be a good
idea to breastfeed Hana.
Deidara: Why, un?
Tobi: Because she's
already tasted blood. glances at sinister baby girl
Hana:
giggles
KisaXIta's room:
Kisame: Owww ...
Itachi:
Go get some! glare
Kisame: Alright, alright ... gets out of bed
and goes to find some
Itachi: ... looking at Akasahi How ... am
I supposed to look after you?
Akasahi: snivelling but calming
down
Itachi: sighs and rocks Akasahi gently I'm not used to all
this gentle stuff.
Akasahi: calmed, begins to drop into a
dose
Itachi: ...strokes baby's cheek and smiles
slightly
(Kisame comes back in with a bottle and a container of
formula)
Kisame: smiles Aww, you two look sweet.
Itachi:
Huh?! cheeks show a tinge of pink I do not!
Kisame: chuckles
Sure you don't. sits the formula by the bed for easy access, and
hands the bottle to Itachi There you go.
Itachi: takes the
bottle and pauses ...how?
Kisame: Put a bit of milk on the teat
and then he'll probably drink it.
Itachi: How on Earth do you know
that?
Kisame: smirk I asked Leader.
Itachi: ...I don't want
to know now. lets Akasahi take the bottle and starts to feed
him
Kisame: watches them both and grins You really shouldn't
deny that you two are sweet together.
Itachi: hisses Shut
it.
Zetsu's room:
Deidara: Un ... will she be a carnivore
like you, Zetsu?
Zetsu: Yes. That is probably why she bit
Tobi.
Tobi: mutters I wish I had of known this
beforehand.
Deidara: Well, it's fairly obvious!
Kakuzu: looks
up Zetsu is the parent. Of course Hana's a carnivore!
Deidara:
True, un.
Tobi: glares then sighs Are you trying to say I'm
stupid?
Zetsu: No, just oblivious.
Tobi: TT
Later that Night:
Deidara: Hey,
danna!
Sasori: is fixing an older puppet on his side of the room
Yes, Deidara?
Deidara: Have you seen Zetsu's baby yet? She's
adorable, un!
Sasori: still fiddling with his puppet No, I
haven't seen her yet. Leader-sama has kept me busy coordinating
everyone's mission schedule so he won't be left completely alone
with the children.
Deidara: We're going to get to babysit?
Sasori:
A few times, yes.
Deidara: We're going to need gloves then,
un.
Sasori: Why do you say that? Akasahi's teeth are sharp, but he
hasn't show any aggressive tendencies yet.
Deidara: I didn't mean
Akasahi, un.
Sasori: Hana?
Deidara: Yeah, un, she almost bit
Tobi's finger off today!
Sasori: Deidara, I believe we've already
had the conversation about exaggeration.
Deidara: It's true,
Sasori! He came in to have it bandaged, remember?
Sasori: I must
have been busy.
Deidara: What are you talking about? He was
screaming like a pansy, un...
Across the Hall in Zetsu &
Tobi's Room:
Zetsu: Stretch I think I need to use the
bathroom.
Tobi: Do you feel nauseous?!
Zetsu: No, I just need
to use the bathroom.
Tobi: Oh.
Zetsu: Please watch Hana until I
get back.
Tobi: Okay...
(Zetsu leaves)
Tobi: So, Hana, how's
your first day of life going?
Hana: blinks up at Tobi, then
reaches for him
Tobi: Aw, you want to be picked up? Okay, just
keep your mouth to yourself.
Hana: giggles as she's picked
up
Tobi: So far so good. starts bouncing her gently Now, I
wonder how long your daddy's going to be gone. He hasn't fed, or
changed, or done anything for you yet. Maybe you're family's a little
weird...
Hana: gurgles up at him as she grabs onto one of his
offered fingers
Tobi: Careful with that.
Knock, knock,
knock.
Tobi: goes to answer the door, carrying Hana with
him
Kisame: Evening, Tobi.
Tobi: Hi, Kisame.
Kisame: Sorry
to bother you this late, but do you have any extra formula? Akasahi's
already eaten through all ours.
Tobi: Already?!
Kisame: Yeah.
; Looks like he has a big appetite, that or he's trying to wear
Itachi down to breast feeding him. Can he borrow any from you?
Tobi:
Sure. Wait here. turns to go get the formula We're probably going
to have extra left over, actually. Hana doesn't really seem to be
much of a...OW!!
Kisame: What?
Tobi: whirling around, still
holding Hana on one arm but barely missing smacking her head against
the wall SHE BIT ME! AGAIN!!
Kisame: Again?
Tobi: holding his
hand in front of his face And this was my good hand too! She got me
right on the joint! I can't bend it now! Look, LOOK!!
Kisame: I'm
sorry? starts backing away
Tobi: TT And she doesn't even have
teeth!
In Kisa and Ita's Room:
Itachi: Did you get the
formula?
Kisame: It looks like we'll have to wait awhile. ;
Tobi's kind of...worked up at the moment. .
Itachi: But I
don't want to put him to bed hungry...
Kisame: Well, you can
always try feeding him the normal way.
Itachi: glares The word
"normal" does not belong in this base at all.
Sas & Dei's room:
Sasori: I still don't
recall.
Deidara: ... Danna.
Sasori: ...what?
Deidara: I
think you're getting on in your years.
Sasori:
...meaning?
Deidara: jumps up YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM SHORT TERM
MEMORY LOSS!!
Sasori: O.o ... Deidara, I am not-
Deidara: Oh
no! What if he forgets that I'm his partner next?! Or that he's a
puppet?! Or that-
Sasori: DEIDARA!
Deidara: ... Yes?
Sasori:
If I tell you I remember will you shut up?
Deidara: Yes?
Sasori:
Then I remember. Now shutup and go to sleep.
Zetsu &
Tobi's room:
Zetsu: comes back Tobi? Are you alright?
Tobi:
sob Hana bit me again ;
Zetsu: bandages it up for him
Hana seems to like your blood.
Tobi: glares at baby Yes, but I
wish she wouldn't try to get a taste all the time.
Zetsu: I'll
feed her now. Picks Hana up And I still don't understand how she
could bite you. Her teeth aren't even developed yet.
Tobi:
growls I bet she GROWS them, just to bite me.
Zetsu: If you say
so. prepares formula, and then sits with Hana to feed her Do you
want to sleep?
Tobi: blush Y-yeah, okay …
Kisa &
Ita's room:
Kisame: Well ... scratches head
Itachi: ...
sighs ... I'll give it a go, but that's IT.
Kisame: Okay, want
my help?
Itachi: rock killing glare
Kisame: ...I'llllll go
and check on Tobi again ; walks out
Itachi: (Okay ...)
holds Akasahi up to his chest Uh, go ahead.
(After much fiddling
around, Akasahi is sucking contently)
Itachi: ...well, this isn't
SO bad, I guess, if a little tingly.
Akasahi: bites
lightly
Itachi: cringe Be. Careful. Dammit!
In the Hall:
Deidara: Hey, Kisame,
un!
Kisame: Deidara, what are you doing out here? It's
late.
Deidara: Sasori's working on something delicate, un. He
asked me to find something to do out here.
Kisame: Same
here.
Deidara: Un?
Kisame: It's not important, Itachi just
wants to be alone when Akasahi breast feeds.
Deidara: cringe
Ow.
Kisame: Yeah, well, it's probably going to be the only time he
does it. Tomorrow, and all
From inside the room next door: No,
no, no! You're not even trying to be nice! Do it again!
Kisame:
...was that Hidan?
Deidara:...Yeah.
Inside Hidan and
Kakuzu's Room:
Hidan: siting on his bed with a sock puppet over
one hand Do it again!
Kakuzu: also siting on the bed with a hand
puppet Do we have to do this? I'm tired, I want to go to bed.
Hidan:
Yes we do! Tomorrow we're going to have children running around the
base, and I won't have you emotionally scarring them.
Kakuzu:
grumble ...going to scar you if I don't get to bed soon.
Hidan:
What was that?
Kakuzu: Nothing.
Hidan: Alright then. Now let's
start again. clears throat 'Hello there, Uncle Kakky!'
Kakuzu:
gives the sock puppet a What-the-hell-am-I-doing? stare Don't call
me Kakky, damnit.
Hidan: That's not what you're supposed to
say.
Kakuzu: ignoring him Where did you get these puppets
anyway?
Hidan: I raided Sasori's sock drawer, now can you please
participate already?
Kakuzu: This is completely foolish.
Hidan:
Par-tic-I-pate. glare
Kakuzu: Fine. moves puppet 'Hi, I'm
Kakuzu.'
Hidan: happily acts the part 'He-hello mister
...'
Kakuzu: ... sigh This isn't working.
Hidan:
facepalm Kakuzu, you are stupid.
Knock, knock, knock
Kakuzu: glares come in.
Kisame: walks in
with Deidara What in the world are you doing?
Hidan: Teaching
Kakuzu some manners before tomorrow.
Deidara: With Sasori's sock
puppets, un?
Hidan: Yes!
Everyone: ...
Kisame: sigh
I think its time we all went to sleep ... walks out
Deidara:
Sasori's gonna kill you, Hidan, un ...
Kakuzu: turns to a faintly
blue Hidan You DID realise that didn't you?
(From the halls,
there is a shout of bloody murder)
A little while later...
Ita & Kisa's room:
Kisame: knocks Itachi?
Are you done? Itachi?
Itachi: Yeah, come in ...
Kisame: walks
in and walks over Are you alright?
Itachi: lying on bed with
Akasahi curled up in his arms Yeah, just really tired.
Kisame:
sits down I don't blame you. How is he doing?
Itachi: Fine ... I
think he's finally full.
Kisame: Heh, unfortunately I think he
inherited that from me. I've always had a big appetite.
Itachi:
glare You're lucky he didn't bite me, or I would kill you.
Kisame:
; Sorry!
