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Chapter 7


"Alex, I don't know if this is such a good idea."

Alex sighed. "C'mon Max! You need to get out of that house!"

Max absent-mindedly scratched his eyebrow. "Actually, I have tons of homework to correct."

"They are seven years old. How much homework have you been giving them?"

"I was planning on mowing the lawn," Max said evasively.

Alex chuckled. "You're unbelievable. Well, I don't want to be the one telling the little girl over here that you are not coming. Either you come along, or you're the one who'll have to deal with her tears."

Max closed his eyes and sighed. "Alex, why do you tell her that I'm gonna come before asking me?"

"Because I know that it's the only way to get you to agree to come."

"That's not fair play."

"It's for your own good, Maxie-boy. Come on now! It's only one day at the mall. How bad could it be?"

"Oh, excuse me, maybe I misunderstood you," Max said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, "Isabel isn't coming along?"

"She isn't that bad," Alex protested.

"Alex," Max said dead-seriously, "Take it from someone who grew up with her. She is that bad!"

"Then we can split up at the mall or whatever. I can go with Isabel, and you and Michelle can storm all the toy stores, because you are the only reason she's going with us anyway. She has gotten this bizarre notion in her little head that her mother spends way too much time in shoe stores."

Max face split up in a grin. "That's my girl," he said proudly.

"Is that a yes?" Alex inquired.

Max sighed in defeat. "I'm only coming along because I want to save Michelle from her own mother."

Alex grinned triumphantly. "We'll come by and pick you up at four."

"Fine," Max grumbled, trying to come off as irritated, but truthfully he was happy to have found a reason to get out of the house. The house Tess and he had bought four years earlier.

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"...and den mommy tol' me dat I can get a happy wheel-"

"A happy wheel?"

"At matdonalds," Michelle clarified with a duh-look.

Max smacked himself over his forehead in an oh-stupid-me gesture. "Right, right. So, you want that mermaid in the happy meal?"

Michelle nodded fervently. "Yup. And den mommy tol' me dat you would take me to Toys a us..."

"What are you getting at Toys 'R' us, honey?" Max asked.

"Michelle? Michelle? Are you going to say good-bye to your daddy?"

Michelle grinned at her father and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek as he kneeled down in front of her. "Bye daddy."

Alex rolled his eyes. "See ya later alligator..."

"After 'while cwocodile," Michelle added.

"Is that what you are teaching our daughter?" Isabel asked behind her husband.

"Vital information," Alex answered.

Isabel shook her head with a smile and picked Michelle up to give her a hug.

"Whoa, honey," she groaned, "You're getting way too big for me to carry."

"I'm a biiig girl," Michelle said proudly.

"You sure are," Isabel said and nuzzled her nose. "Now, you have to promise me that you do everything uncle Max tells you, okay?"

"I pomise," Michelle said seriously.

"Okay, pumpkin," Isabel said, putting her daughter back down on the ground. She linked arms with her husband and looked at her brother. "Okay, little brother. We'll meet here again in three hours."
Max arched an eyebrow. "Are you sure you'll be able to go through all stores in just three hours?"

"Haha, very funny," Isabel quipped, "You guys have fun."

"We will," Max said and took Michelle's hand. "Won't we, Michelle?"

"Yup," Michelle answered, already tugging on Max's hand to get him moving towards the first toy store in line. "C'moooon Max."

"I guess I'd better get going," Max said hurriedly as he stumbled after Michelle. "Whoa, Michelle. Have you been working out?"

Isabel smiled as her brother and her daughter disappeared inside the mall.

"So, Mrs. Whitman, what is first on the list today?" Alex asked.

"Shoes, definitely shoes," Isabel mused and took a forceful grip on her husband's arm and pulled him across the mall. Alex started to understand where some of Michelle's maneuvers came from.

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"Wow, this place is big!" Liz exclaimed.

"I told you so," Maria said cheerfully.

"Maybe they should make a map for this place, because I'm a little worried I'll get lost," Liz said.
Maria scrunched her nose. "Yeah, with your sense of direction, I guess a map would be very beneficial."

Liz punched her lightly on the arm. "Thank you, Maria."

Maria laughed. "Well, you have to admit that forgetting how to drive back from my place is pretty sad."

Liz rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever Maria." What she was about to say was interrupted as Maria took a firm grip on her elbow and pulled at her so quickly that Liz almost lost her balance. "Maria, wha-"

"Oh, look look look!!" Maria said ecstatically, "There are those new flavored ice-creams. We just gotta taste those!"

Liz grinned at the sight of her best friend bouncing up and down, with the face of a child on Christmas Day plastered on her face.

"Maria, relax. It's just ice-cream," Liz chuckled.

"C'mon now, Liz. Let's get some," Maria giggled, pulling on Liz.

Liz smiled and gestured towards one of the few benches in the mall. "I think I'm just gonna sit down for a while."

Maria instantly turned serious and asked concerned, "Are you okay?"

Liz waved her concern off. "Yes, I'm fine. I just need to sit down for a while. You go and get the ice-cream and I'll just wait here."

"You sure?" Maria asked.

Liz smiled. "Perfectly."

Maria gave her one last look and what she saw probably confirmed that Liz was okay, because the smile crept back on her face. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Liz nodded.

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The rays of the sun floating through the windowpanes lining the ceiling spilled over her honey-colored hair, making it almost glow. His legs had stopped moving, his lungs had stopped pulling in air. His whole body had been placed in a position of tranquility but his heart was completely alive in his chest. It beat with an energy that it hadn't in years. His eyes didn't even indulge in the relief of blinking, because then he might lose sight of her. Then she might disappear from him as easily as she had the last time. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. He wouldn't let her go. Some part of his mind, the rational part of his mind, was trying to tell him that it was only an illusion. That it wasn't her. It wasn't a possibility. She was dead. He had seen her still body in the hospital bed and had spent hours by her side, hoping that she would wake up and smile up at him. That she would call him silly for thinking that she would ever leave him. But she never had.

It was the deep longing to see her again. To talk to her, to hear her laughter, to see her smile. To touch her, to taste her. It was a longing for all those things that had been taken away from him that was clouding his brain. That was making him believe the unbelievable. It was the small hope inside of him that just never had died that flared to life, like dying embers waiting for the right wood to be fed with. She had her back turned against him, but she looked just the same. Her hair was billowing down her back. It was longer now, straighter. He watched as she tucked an elusive strand of hand behind her ear. She was adjusting the strap on her sandal.

He was so entranced with the image of her that he didn't notice as the small hand left his, or the little voice excitedly telling him about a Teletubbie. The woman straightened up and flipped her hair over her shoulder, making it cascade down her back and turned around. Reality hit Max like a cold and hard slap in the face as his eyes roamed over her face. No, not her face, but the face of a stranger.

His head whipped around as he felt the absence of her hand safely tucked in his. "Michelle?"
His heart started to beat violently in his chest and panic crept up along his spine. "Michelle?" She wasn't there. He turned around, his voice getting louder, "Michelle?!"
People walking past turned their heads and looked at him. Some curious and some irritated. But he didn't notice. Suddenly he was flung back to the emergency room, where people were crying and searching after a loved one.

"Michelle!!" he yelled.

He spun around on his heels, but nowhere did he see the little fair-haired three-year-old. There were people everywhere. Their laughter melted into buzzing. Their mindless chatter increased and he started moving. His eyes frantically darted from one side to the other. He had lost her. He had promised himself to never lose sight of anyone he loved again and he had lost her.

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A faint smile graced her lips as she watched Maria disappear in the crowd. She had been having this headache all day. On some days the effects of the medication she took to prevent her body from rejecting her new heart were worse than on others.

The ringing of her cell phone tore her attention away from Maria and she started to search through her bag after the phone. She sighed as she saw the familiar number on the display.

"Hi," she answered.

"Liz? Where are you?"

"I'm at the mall," Liz answered, already anticipating where this conversation would be going.

"The mall?"

"Yeah, with Maria. In Santa Fe. I told you about that last night."

"You didn't tell me that," her boyfriend said.

"Kevin. If you are so concerned about my whereabouts, maybe you should listen to me when I'm talking to you. I told you yesterday that Maria and I would be spending the day in Santa Fe."

"Isn't that a little stupid?" Kevin asked.

"Excuse me?" Liz questioned incredulously. "What's so stupid about shopping?"

"Think about your condition, Liz," Kevin pointed out.

Liz rose from the bench, closing her eyes as she tried to will herself to stay calm. He was only concerned. He was only concerned. He didn't mean it like that.

"Why don't you trust me enough to think that I can take care of myself? I'm an adult, for Christ's Sake!"

"But sometimes you aren't careful enough," Kevin said.

"I am careful," Liz bit out, "I'm so careful I'm suffocating!"

"Liz," Kevin lowered his voice to the one he used when talking to stubborn children, which only served to infuriate Liz even more, "You don't have as much energy as others do, you can't exert yourself to the same degree-"

"No, that's where you're wrong," Liz said, "I'm like anyone else! I'm just as normal! The person you are talking about is the person I was before the transplant."

"Why are you getting like this?" Kevin asked.

Liz sighed. "Like what?"

"I'm just looking out for you," Kevin said. Liz could hear in his voice that he was getting irritated as well. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, her eyes slowly wandering over the mass of people without really seeing anything.

"Let's talk about this when I get home," Liz said.

"When will you get home?" Kevin asked.

Liz opened her mouth to answer, but someone bumping into her stopped her. She turned around and found herself face to face with the most beautiful man she had ever seen. But what caught her attention were his eyes. They were moving frantically from side to side, as if he were searching for something. The panic streaming out from him was so tangible she could almost feel it ripping through her body.

"Kevin, I'll have to call you back," she said quickly in the phone. She heard the beginning of a 'but' on the other end before she pressed the disconnect button.

The man was already walking away from her as she reached out with her hand and stopped him.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked softly, her hand on his arm making him turn his head and look straight at her. She mentally gasped as his panic-stricken eyes bore into hers.

"I-I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Something was very wrong here. "What happened?"

She didn't know why she was standing here in the middle of a mall, talking to a complete stranger. But it was something about him. Her instincts were telling her that he would break down if he wasn't helped quickly.

"I lost her," he said and turned to walk away again. Liz snatched her bag from the bench and started to walk behind him.

"Who have you lost?" she asked.

The man stopped and turned around, his mesmerizing eyes meeting hers again. "Please. Help me find her."

"Okay," Liz said without hesitation, "What does she look like?"

"Huh?" he asked, his eyes returning to the never-ending task of scanning the mall with his fearful eyes.

"The one you've lost," Liz clarified, "What does she look like?"

"She's... She's blonde and has brown eyes. She's three," the man answered.

Liz frowned. There were just too many fitting in on that picture. "What did she wear?"

"I have to find her," he mumbled, starting to walk away from her again. Her hand on his arm stopped him once again.

"Look at me," she said and as he continued looking around himself, she put her hand against his cheek and pulled his face towards hers. Her concern doubled as he practically jumped at her touch. What had happened that had made this man go so out of his mind?

"I need you to listen to me," she said slowly. His eyes were now on her face, looking into her eyes. To be in the center of his undivided attention like this was almost more than she could bear. His eyes were so intense and the way he was looking at her just made her even surer that she had to help him. He was looking at her like she was his last thread of hope and it made her heart shatter. She wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him that everything was okay. She faintly shook her head to clear it from those thoughts. What was she thinking? She had never met this man before. How could he have such big impact on her?

"You have to pull it together," she said, "You aren't going to find her if you are in this state. You have to calm down, okay? And I will help you look."

"Okay," he whispered.

Liz took a deep relieved breath. "Okay. What clothes did the little girl wear?"

His eyes closed for a second and Liz watched the erratic lowering and raising of his chest. She had never seen anyone as upset before. "

"A pink sweater and a checked skirt," he answered.

"Is her hair short or long?" Liz asked as calmly as she could.

"Long, but she wears it in a ponytail," he answered.

"Have you talked to the security yet?"

A haunted look crossed over his face to quickly be replaced by one of guilt. "No," he whispered with agony in his voice.

"Okay, this is what we're gonna do," Liz said, "I'll go and talk to the security guards. And you should go through all the toy stores. Was there any place she specifically wanted to visit?"

His eyes were still holding on to hers strongly as he answered, "MacDonalds. She wanted a happy meal." Liz could hint the smallest hint of hope in his voice and it warmed her worried heart.

"You should look at MacDonalds. Let's say we meet here again in half an hour, okay?"

He nodded weakly and she gave him a reassuring half-smile. "We'll find her."

She turned around to walk towards one of the security guards when she felt a strong warm hand against the skin of her upper arm. She turned around, with question in her eyes.

"Thank you," he said softly. So soft that she barely heard him. She removed his hand from her arm and gave it a squeeze. "Let's find that little girl."

"Michelle," he said.

"Michelle," Liz smiled, "Let's find Michelle."

Twenty-five minutes later, she had informed the security guards of the situation. They had put out a message in the loudspeakers and had promised to keep a watch for her. And she had been through half the stores of the mall. She had started to wonder if she was ever going to find that little girl and if she was even going to find her way back to the bench. She hoped that the man had found his daughter by now. Maria had called five minutes after she had left the bench and she had informed her what had happened. Maria had promised to help looking too and had started on the second floor of the mall. Liz had just asked one of the security guards for directions for the way back when she caught a little girl coming out from one of the stores. Her heart leapt in her chest as she took in her blond hair, neatly pulled into a pony-tail and her pink sweater and skirt. That was Michelle. It had to be.

"Michelle!" she shouted, making several people turn their heads and the little girl as well. Her eyes went big as she saw the strange woman quickly walking towards her. Liz could see that she had been crying. She was probably very scared by now.

"Are you Michelle?" she asked as she got closer.

The girl nodded, dumbfounded. "I'm Liz. Your daddy is looking for you," Liz said. It just hit her that she had forgotten to ask for the man's name.

"Daddy?" Michelle whispered tearfully.

"Yes," Liz nodded, "He's really worried about you."
She reached out her hand for Michelle and smiled at her comfortingly. "Come here and I'll take you to him."

"My mommy has tol' me dat I can't go with stwangers," Michelle said, her eyes large with fear and mistrust. But also a small hope that the woman would be able to take her to her father.

"And your mommy is perfectly right," Liz agreed, "So this is what we are going to do. You see that guard over there?" Liz pointed towards one of the security guards and Michelle nodded. "I'm gonna take you to him and you can wait there while I get your dad. Is that okay?"
Michelle frowned in deep concentration as she thought about what the woman had said. "K," she agreed.

Liz smiled. "Good. Let's go."

They started to walk. They had only taken a few steps when Liz felt a little trembling hand touch hers. Her heart warmed as she opened her hand and squeezed the little hand.

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Their eyes met and Liz couldn't contain a smile to spread over her face when she thought about the fact that she would be able to soothe him. Emotion flared in his eyes, so strongly that she could see it even at this distance. He started to walk towards her, never letting her go with his eyes. Her heart fluttered as he came closer.

"Did you find her?" he asked breathlessly.

Her smile broadened and she nodded. His eyes drifted close as he inhaled deeply, his whole body sagging with the unloading of an invisible weight on his shoulders. She automatically reached out with her hand to steady him. Her smile slipped off her face. He looked as if he was about to faint. Before she had the chance to ask him if he was okay, his eyes opened and he was once again looking straight at her, straight into her.

"Where is she?" he asked.

Liz smiled at the memory of the little girl. "She's over at FAO Schwarz with a security guard. She informed me that she wasn't allowed to go with strangers, so we compromised."

A lop-sided smile broke out on his face, which made Liz's breath caught in her throat. "She's the most intelligent three-year-old around."

There was such pride in his voice that the warm smile easily slipped back on Liz's face. "That's the impression I got too."

He nodded, looking beside her in the direction of Michelle's location, before looking back at her. "I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to thank you, to repay you-"

She smilingly shook her head. "You don't need to thank me. You needed help and..." Her voice trailed off as he took her hand. A jolt of electricity spread up her arm at the touch and her eyes swiftly rose from their now clasped hands back to his face.

"Thank you," he said with emphasis and his warm hand was so securely holding hers, like it was meant to be there.

She swallowed and smiled weakly. "You're welcome."

"Is there anything I can do to..."

She shook her head again. "Really, there's no need. You should go to her. I think she's scared."

He nodded quickly. "Yes, you're right."

He let go off her hand and she felt the loss of the warmth immediately, making her wrap her arms around her waist to stop the chill from spreading in her body.

"Thank you," he said softly. And then he was gone. Liz realized too late that she didn't even know his name and that the chance of meeting him again was minuscule. The weirdest aspect of it all, though, was the deep sorrow floating through her the instant she realized that she would probably never see him again. Like she had lost something she had never really had to begin with.


TBC...