Hi! Merry Christmas!! Even though it's a little late perhaps ;) I hope that you had a nice one and that you got to share it with your loved ones.

Thank you so much for the feedback! I truly need it! Maybe more on this story than on my others, because this one is harder to write. So, thank you!

Here's the next chapter…

Atrial fibrillation/flutter is a disorder of heart rhythm (arrthymia) usually with rapid heart rate in which the upper heart chambers (atria) are stimulated to contract in a very disorganized and abnormal manner.


Chapter 13


The birds were just beginning to leave their nests after a night's sleep as the first rays of the red morning sun slowly crept up over the horizon. The light stubbornly tried to squeeze itself through the blinds, causing thin beams of light to play over the wooden floor. A drowsy fly made a random flight about three inches above the floor. It came to a halt above one of the cardboard boxes on the floor, the cold smell from a once newly baked pizza tempting it to investigate the box further.

The shrill sound of a telephone cut through the peaceful silence, putting a momentary stop to the birds' happy morning song and the fly's investigation. When nothing further happened, the fly undisturbed continued its way inside the box. The second ring didn't disturb him much either. Food was close and nothing was going to stop him. Well, except maybe the sudden movement of the box on which he was currently treading.


Her hand flew up from the ground at the sudden intrusive noise, hitting the pizza box in the process. Groaning, she moved her stiff neck, slowly becoming familiar with her surroundings. The phone rang again.
"Michael..." she murmured tiredly.
"What?" another tired voice, if not even more tired, answered.
"Phone...phone's ringing." She tried to change position, but slowly it dawned on her that she was on lying on a sofa, with Michael's body weighing down on her. And she couldn't move one millimeter even if she wanted to.
"Michael..." She started to push him away and, barely awake, he rose into a seated position. Maria flung her arm over her face as the phone rang again. Michael reached out and grabbed the phone on the small table next to the couch.
"Hello?" he murmured into the receiver, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to wake himself up.

The telephone kept on ringing though, and it took the dumbfounded Michael a couple of seconds to realize that he had answered the wrong phone.
"Maria," he groaned.
Maria peeked out from under her arm and yawned. "What..?"
"It's your phone." Michael took a hold of her arm and moved it so that he could have eye contact.
Maria squinted in the sudden bright morning light. "What? Why aren't you answering the phone?"
Michael bent forward and picked a cell phone up from the floor.
"Phone," he said gruffly and put the phone in her hand before closing his eyes and heavily leaning his head back against the sofa.
Maria sighed and placed the phone to her ear.
"Hello... Yes... Aha... What?" Maria bolted up from the sofa, rousing Michael from his newly found slumber. He looked at her, confused, when she suddenly started pacing the floor, threading her fingers through her morning hair with absent and agitated movements.
"Oh my God... Is she okay? What was she... Yeah, okay... No, no... Yes... I'm on my way... I'll be there as soon as possible... Yes... Tell her I love her, okay? I'll be right there... Bye."

Michael was staring at her as she turned around, his frown of irritation over being awakened gradually being replaced with one of concerned apprehension as he had watched his girlfriend visibly pale during the conversation.
"Who was that?"
Maria didn't answer him. She was staring straight ahead, her eyes unseeing. Michael rose up and reached out to gentle touch her arm to get her attention. She actually jumped at the contact, which served only to confirm Michael's suspicions further that something bad had happened.
"Maria? Who was that?"
Her eyes were shining with unshed tears when she turned to meet his questioning eyes.
"Kevin," she answered hoarsely. "Liz is... Liz... I need to go to Liz."
"What's wrong with her?" Michael asked, afraid of what her agitated, yet numbed behavior meant.

"She's... She's suffering from a heart condition," Maria said, her voice seemingly detached as if she weren't really concentrating on what she was saying. Her mind was miles away with her best friend. "She... Yesterday she suffered from atrial fibrillation." Maria turned to look at him, the blank look replaced with fear, and whispered, "I thought this was over. I thought everything would be okay now."
Michael was still trying to figure out what atrial fibrillation was, but it was obvious that Maria was not up to dealing with his limited knowledge of medical terms right now.
"What happened?"
Maria's eyes started to tear up. "She fainted, but Kevin got her to the hospital very quickly. They live close to the hospital." Maria sniffed, "It's a good thing that they live close to the hospital. She is stable... I just never thought..." Her last words ended in a hoarse whimper as the first of many tears started fell down her cheeks.
"Shh," Michael pulled Maria into his arms and tried to soothe her the best he could. This was the first time Maria had told him that Liz had a heart condition. He didn't have all the facts to be able to say the right things without upsetting her even more, but if she needed him to be there for her right now, he would be.

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Max pushed the door open, exhaustion fueling his tired mind like he wanted it to.
"One day that's gonna kill you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin at her voice. His head jerked towards the kitchen where he found Isabel perched on a stool, regarding him with somber eyes.
"Isabel! You scared me half to death. What are you doing here?"
"How far are you running?" Isabel asked, ignoring his question.
"I don't know," Max answered and brushed past her into the kitchen.
Isabel followed Max's movements as he retrieved a glass from the cabinet. "Max, I've been here for forty minutes. So you must've been running for at least forty minutes."
"I just want to stay in shape," Max answered. He moved the glass under the tap to fill it with some much-needed water.

"God Max, you're trembling," Isabel exclaimed horrified as she noticed the violent tremors shaking Max's hand and thus the glass he was holding.
Isabel took the glass from his hand as she ordered, "Sit down!"
"Iz, I'm fine. I just need to have something to drink..."
"Now you sit down, Max!" Isabel said firmly. There was really no use in arguing with her when she used that tone, so Max sank down on one of the chairs, his exhausted body thanking him. By the jerky movements Isabel had going about filling his glass with water, Max had a feeling that she was pretty angry with him.
Isabel slammed the glass down in front of him.
"Drink!" she snapped and sat down across from him. Max more than willingly did as she asked, but his hand was still trembling violently and Isabel's glares grew even hotter with anger. When he had emptied the glass and sat it down on the table, Isabel planked something on to the table.

"You want to explain what these are?" she asked, daring him to do otherwise.
"Are you going through my drawers?" Max asked incredulously.
"What are they?" Isabel demanded.
"You know what they are," Max answered.
"How long have you been taking them?"
"What is this? The third degree?"
"I'm not kidding, Max."
"Neither am I."
"Why are you trying to destroy yourself, Max?"
"I just have a hard time sleeping. A lot of people take sleeping pills."
"What about this?" Isabel slammed another bottle up on the table. One that was empty.

Isabel had had a key to Max's house for as long as they'd own the house. Tess had given it to Isabel so that she could use it if she was too early to drop Josh off or bringing Michelle over. She had always been welcome to let herself in.

But she had never over-stated her welcome like this. Now she had violated his privacy. Going into his bedroom. Going through his drawers and his trash. Checking up on him. She really didn't have a valid excuse to justify doing that.

Anger flared to life in Max and he stood up, pointing at the front door. "Get out!"
"What?!" Isabel burst out, the shock on her face betraying that she wasn't used to this side of Max. But she quickly recuperated.
"You can't run away from me, Max. I won't let you."
"Isabel, I want you to leave me alone!"
"Why can't you sleep?" Isabel asked.
"Get out," Max said, his voice low and more detached than she had ever heard it before.
"What's going on, Max?" she asked in a close whisper. "You're scaring me."
Max tiredly rubbed his hands over his face, trying to calm himself down. "Nothing's going on, Iz. I just want to take a shower and…"
Isabel worriedly watched him. Her brother was falling apart in front of her eyes. She didn't know what to do, but she had to do something. The only thing she did know was that she had to keep him in reality. She had to continue giving him reasons to want to keep on living.

"What are you doing today?" Isabel interrupted.
"I can't, Isabel, whatever it is, I can't, " Max said.
"Michelle wants to be here so badly," Isabel said.
Max met her eyes with a challenging glare. "And you want me to watch her even though you consider me a liability?"
"She has so much fun here," Isabel said, avoiding his statement.
Max rose from the table, tiredly raking his hand through his hair. He had done that a lot lately, Isabel reflected.
"I'm serious, Iz. I need to be alone today. I have some work to do."
"She won't disturb you," Isabel said. "She can play silently."
She could be very quiet when she was playing, and Isabel knew that Max was aware of that.
"But that isn't the problem, is it?" Isabel asked when Max didn't answer her.
"I'm not unemployed, you know," Max said, his voice turning harder. "I do have a work. A job that requires me to work on the weekends."
"Come on, Max. Please?" Isabel pleaded.

It was about more than just finding a babysitter for her daughter. This was about saving Max's sanity. Michelle's presence did things to Max. After a visit from her daughter, Max was more like himself. More like the Max before Tess' death. And now he seemed to need it even more than before. Something seemed to have happened to make him lose control over himself again, more now than ever.
"What about the pills? You want your child to be watched by a drug addict?" Max asked, turning around to meet her eyes.
He had hit home with his statement and she knew that he could see it on her face.
"You would never do that to Michelle…"
"An addict can't control his needs and just behave properly for a moment just because it's appropriate," Max said coldly.

"Why are you like this?" Isabel whispered.
"I'm no addict, Isabel," Max said calmly. "And I want to have Michelle here. But I don't know if I can take care of her…"
"What are you talking about?" Isabel stared at him in disbelief. "Why wouldn't you be able to take care of her? You are so good with children, Max. That's not something that changes overnight. I don't want anyone else but you to watch Michelle. She is safest with you."
Max stared at her. Isabel could see gratitude in his eyes. "Even after what happened?"
"I'll admit. I haven't completely forgiven you about that, but I still entrust you with my daughter."

Max swallowed and ducked his head.
"Iz…"
"Yes?"
Max lifted his head and looked at her. "Thank you."
Isabel felt relief squeeze her heart. There was an emotion in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time. She didn't know what it was, but it lessened the death grip worry had on her heart.
"Just don't take her to any malls," Isabel said with a teasing smile.
Max gave her a hint of a smile. "I won't."

-------------------------------------------



Maria stumbled into the room, all out of breath. Her abrupt opening of the door made Kevin look up. Relief spread over his face when he saw her.
"Maria..." he breathed.
Maria took a deep breath, her eyes transfixed on the person confined to the hospital bed.
"How is she?" she whispered, her worried eyes speaking volumes of what the last hours had been like for her.
Kevin averted his eyes back to Liz, his hand holding Liz's tightly. "Better. Much better."
Maria let out a breath of relief she hadn't even been aware that she had been holding.
"The doctor says that she can go home in a day or two."
Maria nodded, mostly to herself because all of Kevin's attention was on Liz. She stepped up to Kevin and put a hand on his shoulder.
"You look tired, Kevin. Go and take a break. I'll stay here with Liz."
Kevin looked hesitantly at Liz.
"Just go and get some coffee or something."
Kevin took a last look at Liz, before reluctantly letting go off her hand. "Okay."

Maria waited until Kevin had left the room, before sitting down in the chair and taking Liz's hand in hers. The restraint she had been using to hold back her tears dissipated and hot tears started to roll down her cheeks.
"Lizzie...?"
She knew that she probably shouldn't try to wake Liz up, because she needed the sleep. But Maria needed to see for herself that her best friend was okay. The machines monitoring her heart next to the hospital bed didn't tell Maria anything she really wanted to know. It only told her that the heart Liz had been given was beating.
"I love you, girlfriend," Maria sobbed. With her free hand she brushed the tears off her face. "Please don't scare me like that. You have to take care of yourself, Liz. I mean..." Maria took a deep breath to still her turbulent emotions, "The good things are to come. You just met some new people. Michelle, Isabel, Alex... Max. You remember Max, right? There was this connection between you two. Something just seemed right from the start. And I'm only an observer... You must've felt something, Liz." Maria rolled her eyes at herself. "I don't know why I'm saying this. You can't hear me anyway. You are sleeping. I should just stop talking all together and not disturb you. Just don't... Don't ever forget that there are people here who love you..."
"I'm not dead yet."

The weak whisper snapped Maria out of her teary monolog and she stared at Liz, who was looking at her with a weak smile lingering at the corners of her mouth.
"Liz... How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been run over by a truck. Otherwise I feel perfect." Her tone of voice was light, but her face told the truth of what she was really feeling. Dark circles haunted the skin under her watery eyes. The skin was pale, almost transparent.
"Liz! I'm being very worried here. Could you just at least act the role of the sick patient for once?"
That was just how it had always been during all the years Liz had been sick. Even how sick she had been, she had always handled it with an optimism and lightness. Always trying to muster up a smile. Not just once had it crossed Maria's mind that it might all been an act from Liz's side, an attempt to put the worried people around her at ease. Liz had never liked it when they worried about her, even though that was all she knew. She had always been sick, they had always been worried about her. Always being so careful around her. Tiptoeing.

Liz had started to change during the last year, since she had gotten the transplant. At first it had been a positive change. Maria had seen how excited Liz was about life. To be able to do everything she had longed to do for so long. But her excitement had cooled off, and it wasn't hard for Maria to see that Liz was pulling further and further inside herself. Things hadn't turned out the way Liz had wanted them to. It was the worry that was the problem. Had always been the problem. Liz had told Maria so on several occasions. Everyone worrying about her all the time was suffocating her. She had hoped that it would disappear after the transplant, but a life-long pattern doesn't break that easily.

"Maria," Liz whispered, turning serious, "Please don't cry. Don't cry for me."
Maria's mouth fell open in disbelief. "Don't cr... Don't cry for you?!"
"I'm fine, Maria. You don't have to worry. It was just some minor set back."
"Some minor set back?!" Maria repeated incredulously. "You could've had a heart attack. You could've died!"
With her eyes downcast, Liz answered quietly, "I know. I was just... I was cold and it was very emotional-"
"Emotional? What could've been so emotional that you suffered artial fibrillation?"
"Nothing," Liz answered evasively.
"You really don't think that I'm gonna let you off the hook just because you try to pretend like it's raining, do you?"
"Maria..."
"Is it Max?"
Liz looked at Maria questioningly. "Max?"

"Did he do something? Oh my God," Maria said, her eyes going wide as a thought occurred to her, "I shouldn't have let him give you a ride..."
"Maria..."
"We don't know him well enough. We don't know him at all actually."
"Maria..."
"I only know what Michael has told me and there might be a lot that Michael doesn't know about Max."
"Maria..."
"Granted, they've known each other their entire lives, but Max could be keeping things-"
"Maria!"
Liz's attempt at silencing Maria sent her into a fit of coughing.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Maria apologized regretfully, reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table.
Liz was trying to wave her excuses off, simultaneously fighting the coughs. Gratefully, she accepted the glass from Maria.

"If I had driven home with you last night, nothing of this would ever had happened..."
"Don't do that, Maria," Liz said, her voice sounding stronger after the soothing effect the water had had on her throat.
"It's no one's fault but my own."
"Yours?" Maria shook her head, "Liz, no..."
"I just have to learn to control my emotions." Maria's throat constricted at the sadness illuminating Liz's face.
"What happened, Liz?" Maria asked quietly.
Liz inconspicuously shook her head. "Everything just happened at once. I don't know what... I came home a little late. The car broke down and-"
Maria's eyebrows rose in surprise. "The car broke down?"
Liz nodded.
"Max's car?"
Another nod.
"Um…okay..."
"Yeah, well. So we were stuck out in the middle of nowhere. Since it was raining and everything, it was almost impossible to do anything else but sit in the car and wait."

"Aha," Maria said, watching her friend closely. Now Maria was dying to know what Max and Liz had occupied themselves with while alone together in a car. But she could already see the fatigue on Liz's face. This wasn't the time for that discussion, but she was going to press Liz for some information later, she thought with an inward smile.
"I came home really late and Kevin had been worrying to death..."
The pieces were falling into place. That's what had happened. "You guys had a fight, right? And you fainted."
"No, Maria. It wasn't like that..." Maria gave Liz a pointed look that very specifically said 'Don't even try pulling that crap on me'.
Liz sighed. "All right. Yeah, that's probably why I fainted."
Maria bit her lower lip to control the rising anger. Kevin, who was always so concerned about Liz's health, had sent her directly to the hospital bed.
"Don't blame him," Liz said when she saw Maria's expression. "It's not his fault. He had every right to be angry with me. I should've call-"
"But you did, didn't you?" Maria asked. Knowing Liz, she had tried to reach Kevin. "But you couldn't get through?"

"He was calling the police, every hospital... I got the busy signal..."
"Figures," Maria mumbled.
"Stop that, Maria. It's not his fault, you hear me? Don't you go and tell him that. He's already beating himself up about this. Don't make it any worse."
Liz's stubbornness to defend Kevin was annoying Maria even more.
"Please," Liz begged, her eye lids heavy as her body wanted her to go back to sleep, "I can't handle any more... Everyone's so worried..."
Maria felt the anger she had felt a second ago simmer down and she squeezed Liz's hand.
"I won't accuse him of anything."
With her eyes closed, already drifting off to sleep, Liz worded hopefully, "Promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die," Maria answered with a smile.
"I love you," Liz whispered.
"I love you too, chica," Maria said, her eyes tearing up.

"Don't tell Max..."
Maria frowned. "What did you say?" But Liz was asleep. "Lizzie? What should I not tell Max?"
No answer.
Maria leaned back in the chair. Why had Liz mentioned Max? It was completely out of the blue.

Don't tell Max.

About her heart condition? Was that it? Liz didn't want Max to know what had happened. What had really happened between Max and Liz the few hours they'd spent together? Why was Liz suddenly so concerned about what Max knew and didn't know about her?

Interesting, Maria thought.
"You owe me some ice-cream, hun," Maria whispered to the sleeping Liz.

TBC…