Chapter 19


Liz knocked on the door again, even though she by now had realized that there was nobody at home. She hauled up her cell phone from her pocket and dialed Maria's cell phone number. After a few signals, she heard Maria's voice. "Hi. This is Maria. I'm unable to take your call right now. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you."
"Maria, this is Liz. I'm standing outside of your apartment right now. Where are you? Please call me when you get this message."
Liz pressed the disconnect button and looked up at dark clouds. "Great," she mumbled to herself. She dialed the number to her parents. Two minutes later she hung up. No answer there either.
"It's just typical that tonight when I need somewhere to stay, everybody has gone missing…"
The cold wind got caught in her clothes and she shivered. If it was going to rain, it wouldn't be nice to be outside. Taking up her wallet and counting the humble amount of money, she only had one option. She wouldn't return to Kevin and she couldn't afford to rent a room. On top of that it just hit her that her parents were away on a second honeymoon. Her parents had been close to canceling the trip just because Liz had ended up in the hospital, but Liz had talked them out of it. They had planned that trip for too long.

Seeing that she really didn't have any friends other than Maria, there was only one thing she could do. Call a taxi and go to Max and hope that he was home and would help her. She knew that she had promised Isabel not to contact Max in any way, but looking up at the menacing clouds, she didn't exactly want to stay out here when the rain drops started to fall. She still didn't have Max's number so she just had to take the chance that he was home. She waited another couple of minutes for Maria to call, but when she felt the first cold raindrops hit her forehead she called for a taxi.

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Max was in the middle of correcting the last homework, when there was a knock at the door. He looked up at the clock on the wall. Noticing the late hour, he frowned. Who could that be? He put the pen down and rose from his chair, feeling the tension in his shoulders from the many hours spent sitting in the same position. He walked through the poorly lit house and looked out the window in the kitchen when he passed, where he could usually see when a person was standing on the doorstep. But it was too dark and the rain was pouring down, obscuring his vision.
"Who is it?" he asked through the door.
"It's Liz."
To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. He quickly turned the key and opened the door. The rain was gushing down on her, her hair hanging in stripes around her pale face. "Liz?"
"Hi..." she smiled in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry to come here like this at this hour-"
"Come on inside," he interrupted. "You are all wet."
She hesitated. "I don't know how to ask you this, but I got here in a taxi and I don't have enough money to pay for it. Could you…?"

Max looked at her in confusion, wondering what had brought her here at ten p.m., without any money. "Of course. Come inside and I'll go and pay him."
Max took his wallet and ran out into the rain. He was gone for a couple of seconds before he came running back.
"We got to stop meeting like this," he said breathlessly, his hair already wet from the short trip.
"Like what?" she wondered.
Max looked up at the rain and raised a hinting eyebrow.
Liz ducked her head in embarrassment and smiled softly. "Right. It hardly rains in New Mexico, but we really manage to meet the times it does…"
"Let me get you a towel, you're freezing."
"It's okay," Liz protested. She really didn't want to be of any trouble.
"Maybe you want to change your clothes," Max glanced at her suitcase. It surely looked like she had planned on staying away for some time. What was she doing here? "Let me show you the bathroom."
"Thanks. I'm really sorry for barging in here like this…"
"That's okay," Max smiled. Even though her showing up was a little out of the blue, he was glad that she had shown up.
Max stopped in front of one of the doors and pushed it open, switching on the lamp. "There you go."
"Thank you," Liz said with gratitude, thanking him for so much more than just showing her the way to the bathroom.
"You're welcome," Max smiled.
Liz returned his smile and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.


Five minutes later Liz stepped out of the bathroom. She followed the only light in the house into the kitchen. Max was standing by the oven. When he heard her steps behind him he turned around.
"I hope you like hot chocolate."
"You really didn't have to," Liz said, sitting down on a chair. She was exhausted. Max put down a cup in front of her with steaming hot chocolate and reading the fatigue on her face he said, "You look tired."
She took up the cup with both her hands, letting the warmth warm her cold fingers.
"It's been a long day," she answered.
"What happened?" Max searched her face. She truly was beautiful. Even with her hair damp and tangled from the rain and her eyes slightly red, she was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.
She took a deep breath. "I didn't have anywhere else to go. I was at Maria's, but she wasn't there and she isn't answering her phone. My parents are out of town and… I'm really sorry for disturbing you; I just didn't know where to go. I had no money to rent a-"
"Hey," Max said softly, putting his hand on her shaking arm. "It's okay. I don't mind having you here."
She looked up at him hopefully, feeling the warmth of his hand spread up her arm. "It's stupid really. I broke up with my boyfriend."
Max nodded understandingly, not quite comprehending the silent explosions of joy going off inside of him.

"We had this fight and I didn't want to stay with him tonight. I was so angry with him that I didn't call Maria to see if she was home before I stormed out of the house. I had nowhere else to turn. I could go and stay at a hotel if you want, if you could…could lend me some money?" She looked utterly ashamed to ask him of such a thing and she hurried to add, "I will pay you back as soon as I can, I promise."
Max shook his head. "No, please stay here. I have a guestroom you can borrow. You shouldn't have to go out in that rain anymore. If it's okay with you it's fine with me to have you here."
"Are you sure?" There was disbelief written all over her face.
"If you trust me enough to come to me in the middle of the night, someone you hardly know, I'd be honored to have you staying over," Max said, with a hint of tease in his voice.
"I don't know how to thank you-"
Max held up his hand to silence her. His soft, gentle and caring eyes made her warm inside. "Don't think about it." He rose from his place opposite her. "You want something to eat?"
"I don't-"
"Liz," Max admonished, "Are you hungry?"
"Yes," she confessed.
"Are sandwiches okay?"
"Perfect," she smiled.
"Sandwiches coming up," Max said and started to rummage around in the kitchen.
Liz tucked her legs under her and sipped from her hot chocolate, occasionally asking if he wanted her to help. But her help was refused every time.

Twenty minutes later Liz had eaten three sandwiches and was very contented. She couldn't believe what a great time she had with Max. They were talking and laughing with such ease as if they had known each other their whole lives. It was nearly midnight when they finally decided to go to bed. Max made the bed in the guestroom and took her on a quick tour of the second floor.

"Here's a blanket if you get cold," Max said, pulling down a blanket from the top of the wardrobe.
"Thanks," Liz smiled.
"I'm just down the hall if you need anything." Max nervously shifted from one foot to the next and Liz just found him so cute standing there. Watching the soft light from the lamp on the night stand dance over his face, she was convinced that she had never seen a more beautiful man. His face was beautifully crafted, like a detailed sculpture. His features were strong and masculine, but the long, thick and dark lashes and the warm beautiful eyes gave softness to his face which caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach.
"Thank you, Max," Liz said softly.
"Good night, Liz," Max whispered.
"Good night, Max," Liz answered and watched him soundlessly close the door behind him.

She looked around the room and took a deep contented breath. What had looked like a catastrophe just a couple of hours ago had certainly turned out wonderfully. She looked around the room, finding it very hospitable. Old simple wooden furniture and white walls and curtains, and she couldn't help but wonder if it had been Max's wife who had decorated. It felt a little weird to be in Max's house. Not because it was Max's, but because he had lived here with his wife and child. They had been a family. Now the house was dark and there was a feeling of abandonment over it. Even though the guestroom was clean and there weren't layers and layers of dust everywhere, the atmosphere spoke of things unspoken. Max probably never walked in these rooms, except for cleaning. They were just there, not functional rooms, but just existing. A reminder of his old life, his old home. Liz found that horribly sad. It was like time was standing still here. Like it was neither moving forward or backwards, but not really waiting for something either. It had just stopped. And it felt like she was intruding.

She pulled the comforter aside and curled down beneath the cold sheets. She thought about what Isabel had talked to her about. She wondered if Isabel had already told Max about her heart condition. Somehow, she didn't think so, because Max hadn't acted any different from how he used to act. She knew that she needed to tell him. Not because Isabel had told her so, but because she couldn't continue lying to Max. She had only known him a couple of days, but it felt like he was already a big part of her life. As if he would come to mean a lot to her in the future. She didn't know in which way yet, but she couldn't deny the attraction she felt towards him. She couldn't deny how her legs felt weak every time he looked at her with those amber eyes. She couldn't deny the flutters of her heart or the butterflies in her stomach. She had been in love with Kevin at the beginning, but it had never felt anything like this. With Kevin it had been more of a comforting feeling, more predictable. It was like the feeling had grown on her. She had been attracted to Kevin too, but she had certainly not felt like there had been stars exploding inside of her every time he just happened to touch her. She hadn't had any real feelings for Kevin until they had known each other a couple of months. She knew that he'd had feelings for her from the beginning, but that hadn't been the case for her. It was like she had grown into the role of being a girlfriend and then decided that she was in love. Not the other way around.

Not like with Max.

She felt free now. She had told Kevin the truth about what she felt and if he was just given some time to think about it, she hoped that he would come to the same conclusion that she had. They were better off apart. Today was really the first day of her new life and some part of her didn't want to start her new life by getting involved with someone new, but another part of her craved for real feelings. For true feelings. The ones she was sure Max could offer her if they just allowed it.

What made her insecure was Max. What was he feeling? Maybe he didn't have the same feelings at all. He probably enjoyed her company, but it was a pretty vast distance from enjoying someone's company and being in love. Feeling the presence of his late wife and son around her, it was even clearer to her that she was intruding, and that Max wasn't ready to let go of the past just yet.

And how would he react when she told him about her heart?

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Agonized cries woke her up.

It took her a couple of seconds to orient herself in the darkness, but gradually her memory returned to her and she remembered where she was. Suddenly awake she sat up in the bed, listening to hear if the cries had only been a part of her dream world or of the real world. Then she heard it again. Lonely, hollow, eerie screams of despair. She only hesitated the fraction of a second before swinging her legs over the side of the bed and crossing the floor to the door. Quietly, she opened the door and looked down the dark hall.

His room was at the other end of the hall, but the door was left slightly ajar, letting the sounds of his tortured sleep drift out. She started to walk down the hall, coming to a stop outside his door. His cries had been reduced to whimpers, which felt like daggers through her heart. She hesitated, wondering if she should intrude and try to comfort him or just go back to her room and block him out. The decision was easy.

Soundlessly, she slowly pushed the door open and walked inside. The light from a full moon cast its white light over the floor, illuminating his figure in the bed. She noticed the bottle on the night stand and two pills lying outside and she briefly wondered what medication he was on.
"Max?" she whispered.
There was no response. As she got closer she could see him shivering in the darkness. The comforter had been thrown to the side, revealing his bare chest. His head was thrown to the side and he was clutching a pillow with a tightly clenched fist. Quietly, she rounded the bed.
"Max?" she repeated, a little louder.
"No, no… dead, isn't dead," Max murmured.
Liz bit her lip and her heart throbbed with sympathy. Her whole soul ached for the horrors he had been forced to go through. Carefully, she climbed onto the bed on her knees to get closer to him and tentatively reached out to touch him. When her hand contacted with his forehead, his upper body bolted upwards, almost knocking her over. She almost cried out in fright, but her cry was drowned when she met the haunted look in his eyes. He was staring straight at her for a second before his hands moved to cradle her face.
"Tess," he whispered. His eyes were boring into hers. "Don't die. Please don't leave me."
With tears streaming down her face, Liz fought to get any words out, "Max, it's me. Liz."
There was a flash of recognition in his eyes, before they darkened with confusion. "Liz?"
"Yes," she whispered.

He took a deep shaky breath, his hands sliding down her cheeks, loosening their desperate hold. His unconscious touch sent shivers down her spine and caused goose bumps to spread over her skin. She pushed the feelings aside to concentrate on him.
"Max…"
He was taking deep breath with his head hanging low and his hands coming to a rest on her shoulders.
He spoke as if he was trying to convince himself of something that was too unbelievable to comprehend. "She's dead… She's dead…"
"Is there anything I can do?" Liz asked. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what was happening. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know what would help and what would hurt.
He looked up at her, with fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. Her breath hitched in her throat and she raised her hand to his face. There was a pause before her hand contacted with his cheek and she gently brushed his tears away with her thumb.
"It's okay. I'm here," she whispered.
He nodded, his eyes refusing to let go of hers, while the tears continued to fall down his cheeks.

"I don't know what's happening," his voice broke and his head fell forward against her chest. She put her arms around him and cradled him close. Her hand ran soothingly through his hair, while his tears fell against the bare skin above the cleavage of her tank top. She whispered comforting words of nothing and everything, while his grip tightened around her waist and the damp surface of his cheek pressed against her collarbone. Holding him close, she rocked him, until he fell asleep. With her cheeks feeling dry and inelastic from her own tears she laid back on the bed, Max not loosening his grip on her even in his sleep. And with his head resting on her chest and his arm around her waist, Liz fell asleep.

TBC…