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Chapter 20
Liz awoke to the sound of her
cell phone ringing.
Still groggy from sleep, she
reached out to answer the phone. But instead of finding the familiar nightstand
under her hand, her hand only contacted with softness. Slowly opening her eyes,
she lifted her head slightly to look at the unfamiliar room. The cell rang
again and she turned around to search for it. It was in her purse right by the
bed, where she had put it last night. Her hand froze when it wrapped around the
hard plastic.
She was back in the
guestroom. How did she end up here? She quite vividly remembered falling asleep
in Max's bedroom, the experience of him breaking apart in her arms was hard too
forget. She fumbled to find the connect button and put it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Liz! Where are you? I called
you the second I got your message, but I only get the busy tone on your home
phone."
"I'm…uhm…I'm
at Max's."
"You're what?!"
Liz had to put some distance
between the phone and her ear otherwise Maria would've caused some serious
damage to her ear drum.
"Maria-"
"Did you spend the night
there?"
"Yes, but it's not what-"
"Oh my God! Girl, when I said
that you would break up with Kevin and just mildly insinuated that you would
see some more of Max, I didn't mean that you would jump in the sack with-"
"Maria, that's not what hap-"
"What about Kevin, Liz? Are
you really Liz? Because this doesn't sound at all like the Liz I know. She's
should be at home right now, where she has been the last couple of years, just
writing on her laptop, cuddling with Kitty the cat-"
"Listen to me," Liz begged.
"No Liz, you listen to me.
This is serious. Are you having an affair with him? You are! You must be, since
you can't have-"
"I broke up with Kevin."
"You did what?! Okay…" there
was the sound of a loud exhalation "Okay, I think I need to sit down. This is
all so… I can't believe this… What's happening to you, Liz? You know, I talked
to Michael about this and he thought that you had changed. At first I didn't
want to believe him. I was like, you don't even know what you're talking about,
I've known this girl for ages and you've known her for like five minutes, but
now…now he's actually starting to make some sense to me. And I'm not so sure
that I like this change."
Liz rubbed her forehead
tiredly. She loved Maria of all her heart, but sometimes she was just too much.
Especially this early in the morning. "You wanted me
to break up with Kevin."
"Yes, I did. But I didn't ask
you to go and sleep with the first next thing that came along-"
"Maria!" Liz cried, her upset
tone putting an end to Maria's babble. Maria could rant all she wanted, but now
she was going too far. "Don't you know me at all? I would never ever do
a thing like that."
"I'm sorry, Liz. But if
that's the case, what are you doing at Max's place? You barely know the guy."
"I know enough to trust him."
Maria sighed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Could you just tell me what you are
doing there?"
"I could've told you that
ages ago if you just hadn't jumped to so many conclusions."
"Well, you can't blame a girl
for flipping out."
Liz frowned. "Uhm…What?"
"Yeah well, uhm, it doesn't matter anyway. So spill!"
"Like I said, I broke up with
Kevin, but he didn't get it-"
"Typical," Maria murmured.
Ignoring her comment, Liz
continued, "So I wanted to give him some time alone to think. I thought it
would be convenient to stay over at your place-"
"But I wasn't home," Maria
filled in, the mystery becoming clearer by the second.
"I was already outside your
door and it was starting to rain…"
"And your parents are away
this weekend."
"Right."
There was a rustle outside the
door and Liz turned to see Max leaning against the doorframe. His was wearing
soft pants and a T-shirt and his hair was wet.
"Maria, hang on a second."
"Is he there?"
"Just hang on a sec." Liz put
her hand over the speaker and smiled at Max.
"Good morning," she said.
"Good morning," he answered
and nodded towards the cell phone. "Maria?"
He looked really relaxed, Liz
noted. Like he didn't have a worry in the world. As if
he hadn't woken up screaming in the middle of the night. The light floated in
from the bedroom window, outlining the contours of his upper body through the
white thin shirt. The image from last night of his naked chest, the smooth skin
and the well-defined muscles flashed through her mind and she blushed. He
looked at her with amused confusion and she realized that he had asked her
something. She looked at the phone in her hand like she had never seen it
before and stuttered, "Yes. Yes."
"There is some breakfast
downstairs when you have…"
"Thanks," Liz smiled and just as silently as he had appeared, he was gone.
She stared at the empty
doorway, her mind filling with unanswered questions, when the irritated voice
of her best friend trying to re-establish contact reached her. She quickly put
the phone to the ear, "Sorry Maria."
"What happened? Did you just
have a serious make-out session or something?"
Liz sighed and rolled her
eyes. "For the last time, Maria, there is nothing going on between Max and me."
Maria snorted. "I'll believe
that when I see it."
Liz smiled despite herself.
"So," Maria began, "That's
how you ended up at Max's. And he just welcomed you with open arms?"
"Pretty much," Liz said, not
being able to stop herself from teasing Maria.
"This is completely
unbelievable. This is like so un-Liz like behavior it's scary. Has anything
special happened? Didn't he wonder what you were doing there?"
"He was a little surprised,
you can say that."
"I bet. What did you guys
talk about? What happened? Tell me everything."
"You don't want to hear
anything about me breaking up with Kevin?" Liz mocked, even though she knew
that Kevin was the furthest thing from Maria's brain right now.
"Puhlease
Liz," Maria said, "Don't get me wrong, I love Kevin like my brother, but he was
starting to get on my nerves. I'm glad you dumped him. Now, 'nough said about that. Max. What happened?"
Liz stifled a laugh. "We just
talked."
"Aha, aha," Maria said in her
best I-know-that-you-are-really-insinuating-something-here tone. "What else,
what else?"
"Nothing, Maria," Liz said,
exaggerating the innocence. It was fun to hear Maria squirm.
"It was more than just
'nothing'. I can hear it in your voice, Liz!"
"I'm getting really hungry,"
Liz said lightly, "I think I'll have to go and eat some breakfast."
"What? No, Liz. You can't
hang up now! You haven't told me all the details yet!"
"There's nothing to tell,"
Liz smiled.
"Don't do this to me!" Maria
cried. "There's finally some drama in my best friend's love life and you are
going to withhold the information?! That is just so mean!!"
"Bye Maria."
"No no
no no," Maria begged.
"I really have to go, Ria. But I promise that I'll call
you the first thing something monumental happens."
"Liz, as your best friend I'm
entitled to hear about everything-"
"I'll talk to you later."
"Okay okay,"
Maria hurried. "Just call me later."
"I promise," Liz said. "Bye."
"Bye," Maria whined. "But
Liz-"
Liz laughed. "I'm hanging up.
Thank you for calling."
"Thank you for calling,
what's that? Am I some kind of business acquaintance to you now?"
"Bye," Liz said quickly and
pressed the disconnect button before Maria could say another word.
Liz pulled out a robe from
her bag and put it on before heading down the stairs. Max was sitting at the
table, writing on a piece of paper. Hearing her entrance, he looked up and
their eyes met. Liz felt her cheeks get hot under his intense look and her legs
grew weak.
"Do you like pancakes?" Max
asked, putting his pen down.
"Sure," Liz smiled and
shakily sat down on one of the chairs, wondering what was happening to her.
What was Max doing to her with his mere presence?
"You really don't have to do
this," Liz said when he put a stack of pancakes on her plate.
"I want to," he answered.
"You are now my guest, Liz, and I always take care of my guests."
This made her duck her head,
focusing her gaze on cutting the pancakes with the side of her fork. They
proceeded to eat in silence, until Liz couldn't stop herself from asking what
had been on her mind since she had woken up.
"Do you have them often? The nightmares?"
Max looked up from his
writing and when she saw his face pale, the guilt came crushing down and she
hurried to undo the question, "No, forget it. You really don't have to answer.
I have no right to pry-"
"That's okay," Max said
quietly. "After last night…"
He looked away, staring out
the window and Liz got a feeling that she had done something really wrong by
bringing it up. Like it was something that should've been
left unsaid and hidden in the darkness of the night.
"Max, you really don't have
to answer. Let's talk about something else..."
Max looked back at her and
she swallowed when the loneliness and sadness in his eyes hit her, causing the
words to get stuck in her throat.
"Every night," he whispered,
his eyes not leaving hers. "Every night since they died."
"Max…" she whispered, her
voice breaking with the anguish of what her question had brought forward and
the hell he had lived through, and still was going through. She reached across
the table and her hand came to rest on top of his. His eyes moved from hers to
their hands and he turned his hand so that their palms met, and slowly he laced
their fingers together.
He took a deep breath before
looking up at her again. "I'm sorry about last night-"
She silenced him by squeezing
his hand. "Don't apologize, Max. You have nothing to apologize for."
He nodded, but she could see
the disbelief in his eyes. He didn't believe her. He saw himself as a burden,
whilst Liz was wishing that there was something else she could do for him. If
there were anything she could do to ease his pain.
"How are you really feeling?"
Max looked up at her at her
question. Her eyes were pleading with him to tell the truth, pleading with him
to let her see his pain so that she could help him. But he didn't want to put
that load on her. He didn't want her too see the death inside of him. He didn't
want her to see the darkness of his soul.
"I'm getting by," he
answered.
Her grasp on his hand
tightened and her eyes looked into his, so intently that he couldn't tear his
eyes away. Her unspoken request for him to tell her hung heavily in the air.
"I have to go," Max
whispered.
"Max…"
Max vaguely gestured with his
head towards the clock on the wall. "I have class. I have to go."
His eyes landed on their
entwined hands and with deep reluctance he started to pull his hand away from
hers, feeling the warmth of her life power leave him. "I left some money for
you on the living room table if you need money to get home…"
"Max, I…"
Slowly he looked up and saw
the conflict in her eyes. She didn't know what to say.
"I hope we'll meet again, Liz
Parker," Max said, with a sad smile.
Liz felt something tear in
her heart and a dark feeling passed through her. She got the feeling that if
she didn't say something right now, he would leave. Not just to go to work. He
would disappear from her, mentally. His hand left her and with that something
else left her. Her hand reached out and grasped his hand again. He looked down
at her in surprise, stopping in the movement of rising from the chair.
"No, Max."
His expression of surprise
changed into concern when he saw the veil of unshed tears shining in her eyes.
"Liz?"
"Could I… Could I stay here?
Just for today. I need to speak to you."
He turned his face away from
her, afraid that what she wanted to talk to him about his dreams and his past.
He didn't think he could do that.
Liz saw the fear in his eyes
before he turned away and her hand left his, her fingertips brushing
electrically against the back of his hand before leaving it completely.
"There's something I need to tell you."
He looked at her, trying
desperately to refuse her. Feeling that this was the last time he could refuse
her. If he didn't do it now, she would break his resolve and that was something
he feared. That would make him vulnerable and she would see what he really was:
a withered, ugly shell covering a dead, dark soul.
He swallowed. His mind was
trying to form the negative response he knew he had to give her, but that
wasn't what his lips formed. That wasn't what was voiced from his mouth.
"Okay."
She looked at him with
hopeful eyes. "You sure?"
He nodded and tried to
swallow. "I'll be back around four. There is some food in the refrigerator and
you can use the money I left for you if you want to. There is a spare key in
the wardrobe beside the front door which you can use if you want to go
outside."
"Thank you," Liz spoke
softly.
He nodded, too emotional to
speak and then he left the kitchen to go and change. Liz closed her eyes and
let her head fall into her hands. What had she done? What had she done?
TBC...
