I can't believe how long it's been since my last update. I completely forgot about this place and I'm so sorry. It was not my intention at all to leave you hanging. I've kept writing though, which means that there are a lot of updates waiting for you. Sorry again…

Chapter 35

"Isabel, we need to talk."
Isabel slammed the door to one of the cabinet close and turned around towards Liz. With cold disinterest she raised one eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah," Liz said, suddenly feeling slightly nervous about having this conversation.
"Okay," Isabel said, her voice lacking any emotion at all. "But it has to be quick. I have to pick up Michelle from kindergarten."
Liz nodded. "Sure."
She cleared her throat and sank down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter, her eyes wearily following Isabel's movements as she continued to repack most of the things that Liz had arranged in the cabinets during the one week she had lived at Max's place.
"It's about us," Liz said, not really sure how to begin.
"Us?" Isabel frowned in her direction, before continuing in her cabinets.
"Yeah, can you sit down for a sec and listen to me?"
Isabel stopped and looked over at her. She looked at the petite woman, with her delicate features and her shiny dark hair. She noticed how Liz was turning her ring restlessly around her finger and she hesitated a brief moment just to let Liz know that she didn't really want to talk to her, before she sighed deeply and sat down opposite Liz; leaving one stool between them.
"Thank you," Liz said softly.

"What is it, Liz?" Isabel asked, her voice suspicious. She really wasn't up to this. She was so tired of having the same discussions with this woman over and over again, and she suspected that this was going to be yet another one of those discussions. About how she didn't have to come over everyday because Liz would call her if she needed her help. Maybe she was a little too much, she didn't completely lack the ability to reflect over her own actions, but she just couldn't get herself to leave over the responsibility that had been hers ever since the accident.
"I don't know how to say this… So I'm just gonna say it, okay?"
Isabel nodded and braced herself for what she knew would come.
"I need you to take a step back, Isabel."
"Liz," Isabel sighed tiredly. "We've been through this already."
"I'm serious, Isabel. You're…Honestly, Isabel, you're driving me insane. I've tried to stay out of your way and let you do whatever you wanted, but my patience is wearing out. I've never allowed anyone to boss me around and I won't start now. Max invited me here; he wanted me to be here. I understand that you feel that you have a responsibility to take care of Max and I'm not asking you to not be there for him anymore. I'm just asking you to at least accept that I'm going be here for awhile and that you take a step back. I think that Max would appreciate your help much more if you didn't try to…push me around."
Isabel stared at her, but even though Isabel's stare could turn anything to ice Liz stubbornly held her gaze. Isabel wouldn't succeed in scaring her away.
"What makes you think that you know what Max thinks and what he wants? How long have you've known him again? That's right – not even two months! I've known him for all his life! I babysat him when he was little. I was there when he learned to ride a bike. I was there when he went on his first date. I was there when he got married and when… I was there to see how he was before the accident. You don't even know how Max was before! How can you possibly help him become him again?"

"He will never become the same person as he was again," Liz said quietly. Was that what Isabel was trying to do? Was she hoping that Max would be just as he was before the accident?
"What Max has been through has put scars in his mind and he has experienced things that have changed him forever," Liz continued.
"Don't even talk about what Max has been through! You don't even know the start of it! You came around when he was doing better and suddenly…" tears of anger and frustration started to run down her cheeks "…suddenly he started getting worse. I can't help but thinking that it was all your fault. Whatever balance he had found, he lost, because you came into the picture."
"Do you really think that he was okay if just the appearance of a new person in his life would make such a big change to his whole existence?" Liz asked, surprised.
"Something changed when he met you!" Isabel yelled; the streak of accusation in her tone very evident.
It was getting too personal at this point and Liz snapped. "Maybe because he wanted to start living again!"
Isabel looked at the small woman that she deep down knew had stolen Max's heart a long time ago and was pretty sure that she had never seen her that angry before. Liz's cheeks were flustered and her hands were clenching and unclenching.
Isabel swallowed and looked at Liz. For once, really looked at her. "Do you really think so?"
Liz had to stop for a minute, the sound of her beating heart echoing in her ears and the shallow breathing quickly floating over her lips. She wasn't expecting this total transformation that Isabel suddenly went through.

"Yes," Liz whispered.
"I knew that something wasn't right. I knew all along, but I didn't want to see it. I didn't talk to anyone about it, because on the outside he seemed fine. No one else was talking about it, so I didn't want to make a fuss about something that might just have been in my mind. But he wasn't the same. I didn't recognize him. I tried talking to him, but he just wouldn't listen. Alex knew that I was worried and he tried talking to me, but most of the time I shut him out."
Liz couldn't help but stare as the former ice queen in front of her started to melt and the waterfall of words spilled out of her mouth.
"I've been horrible, Liz, but I was trying to protect him. I didn't want you to be one of those who would just leave him when it got too difficult. He really cares about you and I don't think he could handle you leaving him."
Liz looked at her, stunned. "Then why did you tell me to leave him alone a month ago?"
"I didn't want to see how much you meant to him. It was easier if I could take care of him on my own. You didn't know him-"
"I know him quite well by now," Liz said softly.
An insecure smile settled on Isabel's lips. "I just realized how similar you are to Max before the accident. You are just as stubborn and just as big hearted. A part of me hates to admit it, but if there's anyone that can take care of Max, it's you."
Tears spilled over Liz's eyes as she could nothing but stare at Isabel. Where had this woman come from?
"I did a complete U-turn, didn't I?" Isabel asked, her voice warmer than Liz had ever heard it being addressed to her.
Liz nodded dumbfounded. "I can't say that I expected this. I was preparing to fight with you for a long time, and even after that I would have to be forced to drag you out of here."
Isabel raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Would you really try and drag me out of here?"
"If that's what it would take to give Max some piece of mind."
Isabel actually laughed and Liz could only shake her head in amazement. "I never thought I would say this to you, Liz. But I like you. You passed the Isabel test and that's not an easy test to pass. Just ask Alex."
This cracked Liz up as well and through tears they laughed for a good ten minutes, all their common worries and anxieties about Max turning into laughter. Finally, they could meet in their common love and care for Max and support each other.

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Liz rose as she heard the key in the door and walked quickly towards the front door.
Her heart skipped a beat or two when she saw Max. He glanced at her quickly before averting his eyes and turned his focus on closing the door. But that quick glance was all it took for her to read what hell he had been through the last hour.
"Hey," she said softly with a small smile.
"Hey," he answered, still not looking at her. He turned his back towards her and slowly removed his jacket.
"You okay?"
It took a couple of seconds before he answered, but then his soft reply reached her ears. "Yeah."
"Do you want something to eat?" Liz asked. She didn't want to invade his privacy too much. She knew that she never wanted to be asked a lot of questions when she had returned from a visit with the cardio therapist, but she felt as if she needed to pull him back to some kind of normalcy.
"No, I think I'm just gonna go and get some sleep," he said, his whole body slumping in defeat. She looked at him closely, trying to decide how bad it was. His gaze was still fixed on the floor and he stuffed his hands into his pockets looking even more lost.
"Okay," she said and then pulled him into a hug. At first he was stiff in her arms, but then his arms enveloped her and his arms took a tight hold on her. He held her so tightly that she could barely breathe, but she let him. A couple of seconds later he pulled away and still not meeting her eyes he nodded towards the stairs.
"I'm gonna…" His voice was thicker, cracking with emotion and she read in his body language that he was struggling to stay on top of the emotions that were trying to break him down.
"Okay," she said again and gave his hand a final squeeze before letting him go.

She listened to the sound of his feet moving up the stairs and the soft clicking sound as he closed the door to his bedroom. She stood rooted to the same place for another minute before she took a deep breath and moved into the TV-room and turned on the TV. She knew that she probably wouldn't be able to watch anything, but she needed the noise to accompany her thoughts.

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His room still oozed silence as she moved past the closed door and it was with a heavy heart that she walked to the bathroom. She was still debating whether or not she should check on him or leave him alone when she heard a door open. Her hand froze in the movement of going back and forth over her teeth with the toothbrush and her eyes fell on the doorway that was reflected in the mirror.

His hair was standing in all possible directions and he was tiredly rubbing his face as he stepped into the bathroom, unaware of everything around him. The toothbrush rested on her bottom lip as she looked at him. He was still rubbing his eyes, now yawning, and thus hadn't spotted her yet, which presented her with the opportunity to uninterrupted let her eyes wander down his naked chest. He was only wearing black pajamas pants and his feet were bare as they were shuffled across the black tiled floor. Her eyes came to rest on his chest and it was with mixed feelings her eyes traveled across every muscle. He had lost weight, a lot of weight. She had known it before, but this was the first time she had seen him without his shirt. She had only felt the gradual difference under her hands before when she had held him through one of his ever constant returning nightmare. On the other hand, she had only seen him once before everything started to go really bad and that had been that night when Max's car had broke down and it had been raining. His shirt had gotten rather drenched and the sight of how the shirt had plastered against his chest would forever remain in her memory. She had to admit though, as she was standing there watching him out of the corner of her eye, that he was still beautiful.

Max yawned again and slowly opened his eyes, and he gave a start at the sight of her. "Oh, Liz."
Liz quickly resumed brushing her teeth as if that had been what she had been doing the whole time. "Hey."
Max gave her a half-smile. "I didn't know you were in here."
Obviously not, Liz thought smiling to herself.
"That's okay," Liz answered around a mouthful of toothpaste. Frowning at her own unattractiveness she leaned forward over the sink and spit out the toothpaste.
"I was just getting… just getting a glass of water," Max said, avoiding to look straight at her.
"Okay," Liz said softly and moved away to allow him to fill the glass.
His rather nervous behavior confused her some, until she looked down at herself and noticed her quite unclad state. She was only wearing a T-shirt and panties. The T-shirt was big enough to reach below her panties, but it wasn't much bigger than that.
Suddenly being very self-conscious she took another step away from the sink, giving Max more space.

Max turned off the tap and straightened up. His eyes were firmly posed at her feet.
"How are you feeling?" Liz asked, trying her best to keep the tremor out of her voice.
At her question, his eyes slowly started to travel up her body to reach her eyes. However, they were moving very slowly and Liz felt her cheeks heat under his gaze. Was Max Evans giving her a once over? Even though her whole body was being attacked by small shivers, she couldn't help but thinking about what this meant. The Max that she had lived with for about a month would never had allowed himself to do that.
"Better," Max answered and with that tore Liz out of her reveries.
Liz cleared her throat and picked up her own glass of water to rinse her mouth from the toothpaste.
"Have you been able to get any sleep?"
She could feel his eyes following her every movement as she took the water in her mouth, rinsed and spit it out in the sink. As soon as she straightened up again and looked at him, he averted his eyes.
Looking down at his fingers, Max answered. "Not really. I've just been doing some thinking."
Liz nodded. "Okay."

He looked up at her and her breath froze on her lips at the intensity of his eyes. "How are you feeling?"
She swallowed and felt the strangest urge to cry. It wasn't the question itself; it was the fact that he was directing his attention on her. He hadn't done so before and Liz had suspected that he hadn't been able to because of the emotions that he was fighting with inside that were strong enough to drown him if he left them unattended for just a second.
She managed to muster up a smile and she wasn't sure how she managed to get any sound out of her throat, but she did. "I'm fine, Max."
"What about the…" He nodded towards her chest and her smile grew reassuring.
"Don't worry, Max. I'm fine. The heart's fine too."
She couldn't help but rejoice inside that he had asked her. She hadn't realized how much she had missed that question until he had voiced it. She had been so sick and tired of that question when she had been living with Kevin and she hadn't thought she would ever miss it. But to hear it pass Max's lips with the concern and care shining in his amber eyes did things to her. She was filled with the deepest sense of hope. The first feeling in a long time that everything might be okay.
Liz met his eyes and easily read his silent questions. "I'm going to my cardio therapist tomorrow and he's going to check out my heart."
She could see him relax and she couldn't help but be slightly confused by his reactions. The session he'd had with his therapist today must've been important to have caused this changed in Max.

"Do you like him?" Liz asked, without realizing that she had asked him a question that had followed her silent trail of thoughts.
"Who?"
"Oh, sorry. The therapist."
Max's eyes fell to the floor again and his discomfort at the subject vibrated in the air around them.
"He's good."
He turned around and for a split second Liz thought that he was just going to walk out on her, until he put the lid down on the toilet and sat down.
"I'll have to tell him everything again," Max murmured.
Liz's heart cried out at the anguished look in his eyes that he was trying to hide from her and she walked up to him and sat down on her knees in front of him.
She searched out his eyes and asked him the question that the existence of her hope was partly depending on. "Do you think he'll be able to help you?"
Max looked at her for a long time. Liz didn't realize she had stopped breathing during those long seconds until he answered her question. "Yes. Yes, Liz, I really think so."
She tried to contain the exploding happiness inside of her. She didn't want to put any extra pressure or expectations on him. When she really wanted to scream of happiness and dance all around the room, she contained it to a big smile.
"That's really good."
His eyes were drawn to her lips and she knew that it was probably only because of her smile, but she couldn't help the flutter of desire inside of her.
"Thank you, Liz," he whispered.
"What for?"
"For being here with me. I don't think I've ever thanked you for putting up with me."
Her smile warmed an additional five degrees. "Max, I want to be here."
His responding smile was tentative as if he didn't quite believe her.

Their eyes were suddenly locked and she could feel him burrowing into her heart, into her soul. There was something in his eyes that she had never seen before and she only knew two things about it. That it made her feel like the rarest person on the face of the earth and that she hoped that it would never disappear.
Then his head turned to something behind him and coldness washed over her with such intensity that she got lost in the rhythm of her steady breathing. By the tension that suddenly stiffened his body she knew why he had turned away.
"She's here, isn't she?"
He nodded, without looking at her.
They had gotten too close, so Max's conscience had brought forward Tess. Maybe she should take a step back. Maybe that would make her disappear.
"Do you want me to leave?"
His head turned around so suddenly that she jumped. His hands took a hold of her right hand and held it tightly.
"Please don't leave," he whispered brokenly.
"Okay," Liz agreed, her whole body shaking from the fear that was now such an evident presence in the room. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"
She couldn't have been more right on. She could visibly see him relax and consequently she inhaled a deep breath of relief.
"Could you?"
She smiled and squeezed his hands with her free left hand. "You don't even have to ask."

TBC...