It's been two years since i wrote chapter 9, i believe that i needed to take a hiatus, further destroy my mind to be able to bring this story the necessary amount of insanity it deserves.

The Long awaited Chapter 10…


Marriage is a union of two souls, something sacred, and something that ought to last a life time, or forever.

I had no idea at this moment why I was about to bind myself to the man lying next to me. Did I, really enjoy being treated like shit?

Sometimes…I'm sadistic.

But tonight he hurt me…he hurt me more than I've ever been hurt before. Every goddamn time he pounded into me I prayed for him to both stop and to never stop. Because when he hurt me was the only time he really paid attention to me. It was the only time I was part of his little universe.

I had to get away from him...I wanted to snuggle up to him…there was dried, flaky blood staining my thighs. A slight smell of feces wafted from the sheets. Any movement felt like my anus was being battered with a spiked club. I could not move.

I called for help.


This morning I couldn't look at myself in the large bathroom mirror. I was aware of what I had done. I was well aware that I was going to have to face my fiancé sometime today, and I don't know if I wanted to apologize. No, I did not. I liked it. This bathroom was all white, different shades of white, the off gray tiles, the teal wall, the golden faucet…I was the only dirty thing in this place.

Splash

Water on my face, it helps me focus. The pearly white sink had a slightly distorted reflection of my face that I got lost in…And that's how Richard found me, starring at my reflection in the goddamn sink.

"What are you doing-?" I jerked up from my hypnotizing blobby face and saw him on the mirror, behind me, leaning absentmindedly against the white door frame.

"I'M SORRY." I screamed…then whipped around, and leaned against the sink, my hands gripping it tightly.

"Oh…" He looked away.

"You're alright? You can walk! Thank god, I thought I might have fucked you up mighty good when I saw all the blood, but then I woke up and I didn't see any…so I-I'm confused."

I was. There was a lot of blood yesterday, but this morning I had woken to clean, pristine, non-sex smelling sheets.

"That's because you've been asleep for the past two days."

Well…that makes perfect bloody sense doesn't it? The metallic taste in my mouth meant I had been drugged. I was fucking groggy. Some one sedated me. I cleared my throat loudly and spit in the sink. Queasy anxiety made way for anger.

"Who fucking drugged me?" I asked in an annoyed voice. He then huffed and rolled his eyes at me.

"Don't you fucking get all uppity! You are the one who hurt me!"

"I may have hurt yah, but I don't remember hearing you say anything about me stopping."

As soon as I said those words I regretted them. Maybe I was getting a lil' defensive. I had no right. I'm sorry. He visibly paled, and tightened his lips.

My hand went up: "Wait, let me sit down before you let me have it." I grabbed a grayish towel of a rack on my left, by the mirror, toweled my face, and walked to the toilet seat, placed the seat down, sat myself and looked at him.

"I was too hurt to move after you passed out, so I called for help. Mr. Winner happened to be around; I guess he was coming to check on you after saying goodnight to the guests, and he was with a maid, and…they just sort of took me to the medic wing and they took care of me. When I came back, he had had you sedated and moved to another room while they cleaned up."

I was…slightly embarrassed that Quatre had…I …was afraid of how he would see me, after this.

"Well…I'm sorry…I sometimes forget how…endowed-I am."

Cough.

Silence.

That was an absolutely retarded thing to say.

"Do you hate me?" He asked in a teary voice.

"No, Richard." I sighed, and moved my head to the side, stared at the tiles. "I don't hate you Rich. I might hurt you once in a while, but you know I don't truly mean it…I'm just a big bully." I sensed him coming towards me, raising his hand up. I waited for the slap that sent my head flying to the other side. I did nothing to prevent it. I deserved it.

"Go ahead, slap me again, and love: I deserve it-" This time a punch sent me slightly backwards, hitting the water reservoir. It did not hurt at all. But I felt he might need it.

I wasn't bleeding. I never bleed now a day. He seemed to be huffing, and then he broke down. And all I could do was hold him. I don't exactly set out to be the cause of anyone's pain. It just happens. I just try to fix it. It's the least I can do. I was actually more surprised by the fact that he held on to me as tight as he did. He must care for me more than I think he does.

Or he's just weak…

Yeah. That too.


A reassuring touch goes a long way in situations like these. I should know. Heero wasn't exactly the most sensitive of lovers.

I held him all morning long. He was clingy, of course he was. He thinks he's done something bad, that if he behaved well and was all loving and submissive then I would never hurt him like that again. But that's not how it works. In similar circumstances I might hurt him again…that is, if he lives long enough to suffer under my hand.

"Speaking of health, what's the word with Wufei?" I asked, stroking the back of his neck.

We were lounging by an Olympic size pool. The water was bluer than the sky, but not as pretty. The weather was just on this side of comfortably hot and Richard was lying on me, as I was sprawled on a pool chair. There were no servants around. Just he and I …and I was definitely comfortable with that. I didn't know who else knew about our little mishap, but I sure as hell didn't want to encounter anyone who did.

"I thought we were waiting until after the wedding." He mumbled, moving his nose from the crook of my neck to stare up my nostrils.

"I'll rather we get this done pretty quickly. And you can get better. I don't really understand everyone's 'doom and gloom' attitude over this."

He looked at me with sad eyes. I didn't like it. He looked at me as if I was in denial. But I wasn't. It's possible in this day and age to cure almost all diseases out there…with enough cash, which I had more than enough of.

I pictured Quatre stalking towards us way before I saw him. As in I saw him in my mind before I did my eyes. Does that make sense? It happens sometimes. I don't think it's weird or anything, but I imagined him, wearing a short sleeve pink dress shirt and white Capri shorts, because that's what he would be wearing on such a day. And I wasn't wrong.

Reflexes and strong hearing told me to get rid of Richard before I spoke to Quatre, who was slowly making his way from my right ( I could hear his light footsteps on the cobblestones across one of the gardens)… because I didn't want him to be present while I dealt with …whatever Quatre was going to talk about. I'm pretty sure I was in for some sort of lecture. Something on the line of preventing spousal abuse…or maybe he'll ignore me, or not say anything about it…it's not like I had done anything really wrong.

"Walk away, Rich. You should get more rest in the shade." I pushed lightly against his shoulder and he looked up again, this time with a barely restrained panic glazing his golden eyes. And I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt.

"Quatre is coming to talk to me, and I would rather it be me and him, okay?"

"Quatre is coming? I don't see him-" He looked up and must have seen him approaching, because he rolled sideways off me and gingerly sat up. "You alright?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. I pulled his arm towards him and made him lean in for a kiss on his smooth forehead. "Go take a rest, lovely. Do you hear me?" He nodded again, got up and left.

I looked back and smiled at his retreating form.

Maybe the reason why I wasn't really ashamed of what I had done to my fiancé was that it could have been worse. It could have been much worse. Heero had hurt me much worse. I actually bothered being nice to him.

"How dare you think that be a good enough reason to justify what you did to him?" Someone yelled behind me.

Oh boy.

"Quatre! Jesus! People! STOP sneaking up on me like that!" I said in a sarcastic tone. He walked around my chair and planted himself right in front of me, wearing a short sleeved baby blue dress shirt, Capri pants and a gold chain around his neck.

Close enough.

"I ought to FUCKING-you're-HOW could you do such A THING!" He spat.

Funny how it didn't register a second ago that Quat had just read my mind. But it did now. And that stopped me on my tracks.

That and the fact that I had never seen, or at least don't remember seeing Quatre as furious as he appeared.


He was smiling at me, with that devil-may-care attitude that suggested that he was either completely senile, or the sedatives were still coursing through his bloodstreams and making him irrational. He was lying unabashedly with his hands behind his head and his tight stomach muscles rippling under lightly tanned skin. His hair was free of the braid I had grown accustomed to seeing him in when we were younger. It was wound and thrown over one naked shoulder. He was wearing white trousers and nothing else. His feet were bare, his toes, wiggling.

This man is completely insane.

"Come on, I really don't know what happened. I don't know… I just lost control. And I passed out afterwards so I couldn't help him."

"You hurt him intentionally-"

"It was COMPLETELY unintentional! I dunno what came over me, I swear! It was just really foggy and sweaty and I wasn't really thinking about the fact that I was hurting him and if I did…I-"

The smile had melted off his face. His aura fizzled around him, troubled. The murmur of his thoughts was slowly increasing, as if someone was cranking up a stereo system. Yet I could not make out a single one.

"I would tell you what happened. You enjoyed it. You enjoyed causing him pain, you sick fuck."

"And I think that is rather none of your business." I couldn't help but gape at that statement. Neither could I fathom at that moment why I had ever been in love with him. What I had seen in that bedroom was the work of a sadist. Blood everywhere, on him and his fiancé, the later one lying on the floor weeping, while he slept with an angelic smile on his face.

"What happened between us is none of your business, Quat. And don't even pretend to like him, because I know you don't."

I couldn't help but huff at that. "This has nothing to do with how I feel about your spouse."

"And everything to do with the fact that you want me, Quat…well maybe this will help you rethink your decision of luring me back into your bed."

A light breeze blew by, ruffling a few stray hairs framing his face. For a second I believed he had hurt Richard just to make me turn away from him. Then the answer came to me, clear, from the deep recesses of his mind:

"You are treating him the same way Heero used to treat you!"

He was immediately tense. A murderous look crossed his face. His presence suddenly became heavy, almost suffocating. I could see the tendons in his arms straining, feel his emotions flaring up like flames in an empty pit.

"Quatre shut your fucking mouth." Anger, Panic, and Pain assailed me, knotting my insides, but I kept on.

"Everything Heero did to break you, break the will in you, until you were nothing but a shell of yourself, and it's not only Heero is it, it's every other man who has hurt you or tried to make you subservient, you are reflecting that on that young man, and as much as I dislike him, no one deserves that! Doing so is not going to help you heal the wounds that relationship has left on your bloody soul!"

His once baby-round face had thinned out over years of hard living. It did not, however lessen its beauty. But right now it was not unlike a terribly rigid mask. It was rather hard not to feel a twinge of satisfaction at the change of his demeanor. "Did I hit a nerve?"

That proved to be a regrettable mistake. One moment, I was standing in front of Duo, the next, the edges of my vision began to darken, and a ball of bile rose to my stomach. The world around me became red, yellow, distorted, and loud with hums and thoughts, whispers. The heat slowly ebbed off, 'till I could see my breath oh so slowly escape my lips.

He slowly stood, in slow motion and in a few languid steps closed the distance between the two of us. He was taller, he towered over me. His face was no longer his. It was a terrible, terrible mask.

Stay out of my head, Light One.

'D u o?'

The air was slowly invaded by webs of spider-silk fine threads, fizzling, and crackling with electricity. That thought…that thought had not been his. But I couldn't wrap my mind around the origin of that dark, cavernous voice. I seemed to get lost into the space where the shimmering purple of his iris was slowly swallowed up by the black holes his pupils had become. Time had slowed down to a crawl.

'W h o a r e y o u ? R e v e a l y o u r s e l f t o m e !'

He wrapped his hands around my face and lowered his in order to nibble on my bottom lip. It felt like an abyss, a bottomless pit! Incomprehensible! I could feel it sucking out the reality around us, slowly latching itself of Duo's insides and attempting to escape but Duo's skin seemed to be slowly holstering it, imprisoning it, it could not release itself.

Duo… doesn't live here anymore.

My respiratory system was affected by the presence and my lungs were struggling. On a larger scale I was fast becoming aware that I was suffocating, but the Voice hypnotized me, tried to suck me in. I was only vaguely aware of grabbing Duo by his midsection and propelling our bodies in the water, hoping to shake us both out of this trance.

We hit the pool's surface without the slightest noise. Our decent to the bottom was even slower than time outside the water. Though my vision was once again clear, I had to breathe, and Duo was still latched on to me, his heavy weight sinking us further down, his lips moving, fumbling over words, yet there were no air bubbles escaping his lips. His hair formed a dark cloud around us, and he again looked more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, like a mermaid…. He appeared unaffected by the change of environment, further leading me to believe that he himself was not aware that we were now probably 10 feet underwater. A loud pop in my ears helped me focus again. I was hyperventilating. I had to get some air.

I managed to kick him in the midsection and he let go…and I swam up, my arms flaying and kicking at the heavy waters, whose consistency was not unlike jelly.

The water leeched off my face like heavy placenta, and I coughed, and sputtered. Taking deep breaths, I realize that time was normal again. Every thing had gone back to the way it was…except for the black ink blob slowly turning the entire pool black. It took me a second to realize that it was hair! Duo's hair was growing at an extraordinary rate and quickly overtaking the water surrounding me. I was torn between going back down to fetch Duo, who I could no longer see, and escaping that huge dark cloud, expanding just a couple of feet beneath me.

"This is like the fucking Zero system all over again…" I swam towards one of the pool walls only to be jerked by something tugging on my ankle. Panic fogged my brain and I could only scream "RASHID!!!" before I was dragged to the bottom again.