I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I keep forgetting to update on this page (I normally update on a Roswell-specific site). So sorry! But at least you get a couple of chapters to read at once instead.
Thank you for the feedback!
Chapter 46
Slamming the closet door closed, the mass of
frustration and nervous energy, formerly known as Isabel, pulled out
her jewelry box and almost ripped the earrings out of her earlobes.
Alex, who was watching from the doorway, inhaled deeply, "Honey?"
No reply. His wife removed the pins from her hair in a systematic
fashion, her movements shaking with the emotions of someone deeply
upset.
"We should talk about this," Alex tried.
Her
answer was spoken through lips tightly pulled together in an attempt
of preventing her face from breaking apart. "I'm alright, Alex.
I'm just tired."
"We've been married for four years;
don't even try to fool me."
Isabel put the hairbrush down so
violently that the sound of it hitting the mahogany surface echoed in
the whole room. "He's an idiot. I actually never thought I would
say it, but my brother's an idiot."
"It's his life,
Isabel. He can do whatever he wants."
From where Alex was
standing he could see how she tightened her lips even further and he
waited patiently for the explosion that was sure to come.
Isabel's
voice was barely controlled; eerie in the absence of the accomplice
of noise. "She has a heart problem. She will most likely die. I
have barely agreed to him seeing her at all…and then what? He
sniffs on her and she falls pregnant? For how long have they known
each other? What about dating first? And they live together? For
Christ's sake!"
Her rant was bouncing of the walls and
Alex was not surprised when he felt a small hand slide into his. He
gave the hand a consoling squeeze before interrupting his wife.
Sifting through everything that Isabel had thrown in his direction,
he addressed what was really making her upset. "I'm sure that Max
knows the risks involved. Liz especially knows the-"
"If Liz
knows, how can she put herself in that situation? What about
protection? Are they living in the Stone Age? It is fairly easy to
protect yourself."
"Daddy, why is mommy so angwy?"
Isabel
froze, directing her eyes downwards and realized for the first time
that they were not alone. The surprise was quickly replaced by
irritation.
"Alex," her voice still barely controlled, "why
didn't you tell me that Michelle was here?"
"I was just
about to. I think her mommy is scaring her."
Isabel glared at
him, before turning to look into the small crack left between the
doorway and her husband's leg, where she could see the indistinct
features of the eye and nose of her daughter.
"Michelle, honey,
go back to bed."
"You woke me up," Michelle protested.
"I
know, baby, but I'm going to be quiet from now on."
"I
doesn't want to go bed alone."
Isabel looked up and met
Alex's eyes. He gave his wife a faint smile, bent down and picked
up the small blonde. Her eyes were large and round, as awake as ever,
when she pushed her thumb into her mouth, squeezing the toy rabbit
dangling from the crook of her arm against her chest.
"We'll
continue this later," Alex said with a look that said a thousand
words.
Isabel followed Alex and her daughter with her eyes as they walked out of the room and then heavily sank down on the bed. How could Max do this to her? Did he not know how much she was already worrying about him? Did he not know how many hours of sleep she had missed out on because she was busy thinking about how she should go about cheering him up the next day every day since he had lost Tess and Josh and the will to live? Now he wanted to go through it all again; he was doing it voluntarily. There was no way this story would end happily. The gods had not smiled on Max yet and would probably never do so. The odds were clearly all against him on this. Liz could die because of her heart condition, but Isabel knew enough biology to know that Liz would die if she continued this pregnancy. Max would not survive that. There was no way Max would survive that. He had almost disappeared completely when Tess and Josh died. It was too soon. He had barely returned and now Liz was going to get herself, their child, and most probably Max killed. She had to prevent it from happening. She had to.
---------------------------------------------
The phone
had been ringing all night after that. None of the calls had been
from someone congratulating Max and Liz on the pregnancy. All of them
had been regretful, yet still insisting on that they were right about
how they had reacted but still wondering how Liz was feeling. Each
and every one of them had accepted Max's statement that Liz was
asleep and that she shouldn't be disturbed. Everyone except Maria.
"No, now you listen to me, Max," Maria said firmly, her voice
oozing with barely restrained anger, "I need to talk to Liz
personally. I think she wants to talk to me too."
"She needs
her sleep," Max insisted. Both just as stubborn. They had been
playing this game for almost five minutes.
"Max," Maria
warned. "Either you give the phone to Liz or I'll come over and
bang on your door. How's that?"
Max sighed. He didn't
really want to have Maria here; she was more likely to kill someone
here. "Okay."
"Thank you," Maria said sarcastically.
Max
walked into the bedroom, where the moonlight was casting shadows over
the sleeping body. He put the phone down on the pillow next to Liz
and crawled up next to Liz.
"Beautiful, you have a phone call,"
he said softly in her ear.
"Mmmm," Liz mumbled. "Who is
it?"
"Maria."
It sounded very much like Liz stopped
breathing and then she turned to face Max, her eyes big and
wide-awake. "Okay."
Max reached out behind him, took the
phone, placed a kiss on her lips, and handed the phone to her. When
Liz put the phone to her ear, Max left the room to give her some
privacy.
"Hey Maria," Liz said softly.
"Liz, thank
God. I was so worried. How are you feeling?"
Liz didn't
really know how she should react to the caring, comforting, soft
voice at the other end of the line.
"Uhm…a little tired."
"I'm so sorry for reacting that way," Maria said. "I
just… I was shocked. The thought that I would ever hear that you
were pregnant never entered my mind. Kevin didn't want any children
and I thought that after what happened to Max's family, Max
wouldn't want any children either."
"It wasn't planned,"
Liz said.
"You forgot protection?" Maria gasped.
"No.
No, we used protection. It just didn't work."
There was a
couple of seconds of silence, before Maria said, "I still think
it's a bad idea. You're risking your life here. I would say the
same thing if you were about to swim across crocodile infested
water."
"I'm sorry, Maria. But Max and I have talked this
through. Don't blame Max, he reacted just like all of you in the
beginning and I think he still thinks to some degree that it's a
bad idea."
"I suspected it was you that was pushing this.
I've seen the way you look at babies and how you are with Michelle.
There's this longing in you."
"I just never thought that it
would be possible for me," Liz said.
"Could you promise me
one thing though?" Maria asked. "Could you think it through
again? Please. I know that you probably been through it pretty
thoroughly, knowing you, but you are putting a lot on the line here."
"Okay, I'll do that."
"Thank you. It's just… I
would love for you to have a child. A beautiful combination of you
two running around. But I don't want to lose you."
"I know,
Maria. I'm going to be as careful as possible."
"Oh, I wish
this wasn't happening," Maria said more to herself than to Liz
and Liz felt a stab in her heart. She so desperately needed to hear
someone say that they were happy for her, but that was probably not
going to happen in a long time.
Not knowing what else to say, Liz
said quietly, "I'll talk to you later, Maria."
-------------------------------------------------------
She turned the shower knob and pulled the shower drapes to the side. She took a hold of a towel and moved it over her skin, removing the water droplets. Her reflection in the full size mirror caught her eye and her movements slowed down, her eyes focusing on her stomach.
I know that you probably been through it pretty thoroughly, knowing you, but you are putting a lot on the line here
Her hands moved over the flat surface, amazed that there could actually be life in there. That she was actually carrying another little person inside of her. How could she ever remove that life? It was as much part of her now as the transplanted heart beating in her chest. She was not really afraid of putting her life on the line; she had been living with death just one step behind her most of her life. What she was afraid of was that she might leave Max alone, and she wasn't sure he would be able to handle that. There was even the possibility that she would make it through the pregnancy and the delivery, but die afterwards, not only leaving Max behind but also a little baby. Could she really go through with this?
This is not your decision. This is mine and Liz's. Mostly Liz's
With Max's voice ringing in her memory, she took a deep breath, her hand coming to a stop on top of her stomach. It seemed as if Max was now more open to keeping the child. They had, after all, decided to keep it. But she was still not sure he was really convinced. What if he was just agreeing with her because he was afraid that it would upset her if he held onto the opinion that they should get an abortion? Everything was falling apart. This was supposed to be a happy time, but it had just turned into grief and loneliness. She had always had the support of her family and her friends in everything she had done. It was horribly cold without them. It was now that she needed them the most and they had abandoned her.
The difficult part was that she could not make herself be angry with them because she could understand their reaction. She could understand that they were afraid because, after all, this pregnancy could kill her and it was a danger that could be avoided. She just did not think that she could give up on this child, even if they would turn their backs on her during the entire gestation period. Things were finally looking up. Max and her were starting to work things out and Max was dealing really well with the grief of the death of his son and wife. Was this really the time to jeopardize it all?
Her hand spread over her flat stomach.
I would love for you to have a child. A beautiful combination of you two running around. But I don't want to lose you
A tear slowly trickled down her cheek. What was she going to do?
-------------------------------------------------
He knew this place. He had been here
before. Several times.
"I need you to identify him."
He
turned his head and looked in the direction of the voice. But the
face that met his gaze was blurry, lacking in specific features. He
knew that he was shaking. He could feel himself going cold. His eyes
flickered over the bare concrete walls and the ice seeped into his
bones.
He didn't want the man to lift the sheet, but he knew with certainty that he would. He had done it before. He watched the man reach over the ice blue sheet, watched how the shadow of the man followed ominously, draping over the blue sheet. The man without a face grabbed the edge of the sheet and started to pull downwards and Max felt his heart plummet. His heart lost its grip on its surrounding muscles, dropping down to hit his diaphragm and preventing the air inside his lungs from being expelled. But the man did not care, did not see his distress. His hand was moving, dragging the sheet along with it.
Max was expecting the blond curls, the small head, the small fingers. But the hair was not blond and he could feel himself reaching behind him for support, only to be met with nothingness. Liz stared back at him, her eyes still open, but lifeless and covered in the opaque sheet of death. The man continued to pull the sheet back, exposing her naked chest, the long scar between her breasts and he could taste the bile in his mouth when he saw the protruding state of her stomach.
It was at this point that he forced himself out of the nightmare realm and re-entered the world of the living with a cry of anguish.
The real world was just as dark as his dream, the darkness creeping around him as his heart was thudding painfully against his ribs. His hand automatically reached out next to him, only to find the coldness of an empty sheet against his palm. His breath got caught in his throat and he slowly turned his head to look next to him only to have his fears confirmed.
She was not there.
He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down, knowing that he was being ridiculous. She had probably just gone to the toilet. But unable to push his feelings of impending danger away, he rose from the bed, his feet barely touching the cold wooden floor as his rapid steps lead him to the hallway. He stepped up to the bedroom door, seeing the light seeping through the cracks around the door. Stepping up to the door, he let his knuckles gently rap against the wood while he pressed his ear close to the door.
"Liz?"
The silence that answered made his heart beat that much faster as anguish took a hold of his heart.
"Lizzie? You're in there?"
He tried to will himself to relax. Maybe she wasn't in there. Maybe she had forgotten to turn off the lights. Maybe she had fallen asleep on the toilet.
He tried the doorknob, noticing that it wasn't locked and slowly pushed the door open. His eyes traveled along the white tiles making up the floor, wanting to look further but at the same time fearing what he would see. He froze when his eyes landed on the still person on the floor.
Skin. Pale, almost white skin.
He could feel the world crashing around him, dragging him down with it. With a sense of drowning, he fell to his knees next to her lifeless body. Her knees were curled up to her abdomen, her hand resting against the flatness of her stomach.
"No, Liz," his voice cracked as tears trembled down his cheeks. "Please don't, please don't." He feverously lifted her head, her arms dangling unresponsively at her sides as he desperately placed his ear next to her mouth, hoping to hear her breaths, longing to feel her warm living breath brush against his cheek. But there was nothing there.
"NO!" he screamed. He looked down into her face. Her eyes were closed. You could almost take her for sleeping, if it wasn't for the lack of rising movement of her chest. "No no no no, don't leave me. Don't… Please, no… Liz… Come on, baby. Come on."
Her limp upper body was shuddering with his trembling desperate movements. His lips were warm against her cold skin when he tried to kiss the life back into her. He knew she was gone. He knew it. Everything was telling him that she was dead. That her heart had given up on her. But he couldn't give up. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe, just maybe, it would be alright. Looking down into her peaceful face, he gently kissed her lips, his warm tears falling on her increasingly taut skin. "I love you."
Then he gently lowered her back down on the floor, brushed the majority of tears off his face with the back of his hand and with one last glance, he stood up and left the bathroom to find a phone and call 911.
TBC...
