Sixth Avenue Heartache

Chapter six: Into the Gates of Hell

Once again, here he was. The same darkness surrounded Edward just as the same, foul air filled his lungs. He had become all too familiar with this place. This was where his past haunted him; constant images and voices echo in his mind over and over. There was no escape.

"Edward, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Ed whispered into the darkness.

"Why are they doing this?" The voice sounded so desperate for an answer, but there was nothing that could be said to explain the actions that were done.

"I don't know," he cried once more.

With a sudden jerk, Ed's surroundings were no longer an endless void of darkness. It had become hell itself as far as he was concerned. Countless people, or prisoners from the looks of it, were being worked to death by guards who stood over them and watched mercilessly. Edward continued to walk around and took notice to the bodies hanging over the barbed wire fence. Clearly, it was a sign to anyone who thought of escaping.

Taking in this well-known setting, Edward walked forward and observed what was being done. It was obvious that the work the prisoners were forced to do gave no profit to anyone, but they were forced to do it none the less.

"Muselmänner," Ed heard from his left. The guard who had said it was speaking to another guard as they stood over a prisoner who was lying on the ground. That term was no stranger to this place. It echoed though out the camp daily; announcing another person who was on the verge of dying. Trying to get away from the sight, Edward started to walk in another direction, but found that he couldn't move his body.

"Enjoying the view Ed?" someone said from behind him. Still unable to move, Ed heard the footsteps of the person walking behind him. "How've you been traitor? Good I hope," the voice said harshly. The footsteps continued to pace back and forth.

"What do you want?" Ed questioned. The voice sounded so familiar, but he couldn't place the person's face.

"What do I want? What the hell do you think Edward?" he practically yelled in anger. "I want my life back! My family: my wife and my children!" Edward's eyes widened, in both surprise and realization.

"Matthias," Ed stated quietly. The footsteps from behind him stopped walking for a moment and then started to step forward. The man was taller than Ed and had dark hair and eyes. As he came face to face with Ed, the man began to glare at him.

"What makes you think that you can go back home and be happy!" Matthias yelled as he grabbed the front of Ed's shirt. "Look around you Ed," he said as he waved one of his arms around to indicate their current surroundings, "What makes you think that you deserve to live more than any one of these poor souls?" Matthias continued to glare. "Why did you leave us behind?" he said finally and let go of Ed's shirt.

"I didn't mean to leave," Ed tired to explain, "I don't even know how I got back." He felt like dying right there as a sick feeling washed over him.

"Liar," Matthias spat out. "You're nothing but a traitor! We took you into our home when you had nowhere else to go! We accepted you like family and what did you do? You left us behind to die!" he screamed. Edward said nothing in response and hung his head. He knew that his friend was right. All around him were people dying and he should've been one of those people. Why did I survive? Ed thought bitterly.

"Good question," he responded. "You should've died. Not only because you didn't support what was going on, but because of what you are, a Lebensuwertes Lebens." Edward froze at the phrase. Throughout the years, Ed had learned to both hate and fear those words. How cruel they truly were. "A life unworthy of life" it meant and was directed towards people like him; cripples.

"Shut up," Edward said desperately. He wanted to leave this hell and return to where he felt safe.

"Just because you leave now, doesn't mean that this won't happen again Edward," Matthias taunted him. "There's no escape from the mind." In the distance, he could hear people screaming. His ears were filled with their screams and he felt so helpless. He couldn't do anything for them.

"So what are you going do now, Mr. Hero of the People?" Matthias echoed the words from his previous dream. "You can't save us…," He started. Ed stared at Matthias in horror as blood began to stream down his face. His body was no longer lean and healthy looking as it once was, but starved and dead like.

"You can't save us because you're already too late."

Edward woke up in a cold sweat. Trying to calm down his heavy and rapid breathing, Ed managed to sit up in his bed. He noted the sound of the heavy rain beating against the window and tried to let the sound calm him. Looking around the room, he saw Alphonse sleeping peacefully on a cot next to him.

Ed sat there for a few moments before deciding to get up. Since he got here he had been stuck in bed, but it would be good for him to finally be able to move around. Throwing the sheets off of him, Edward quietly swung his legs to the side. Careful to balance himself on both feet, he took cautious steps towards the door. While he was walking, He realized just how much he had recovered in the few days that he was here, especially compared to when he first came back. The walk from the alley that he ended up in to the Hughes' home nearly killed him.

Ed opened the door as quietly as he could and walked out. The hallway was just as dark as it was in his room and lucky for him no one was awake by the looks of things.

"Uncle Ed, what are you doing up so late?" a childish voice said from behind.

Edward wiped his head around to look behind him and found no one. He could have sworn he heard a little girl's voice. No, I'm just tired. Besides everyone is asleep, He thought to himself. Turning back around he continued downstairs. Not knowing what to do now that he was at the ground floor, he walked around the house a bit and noted the new additions to the house, like the grand piano that now sat in the livingroom.

Ed's legs started to ache the more he walked, but he still felt wide awake so going back upstairs wouldn't help. To relieve his legs of the stabbing pain that had developed, Edward walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with his head facing down.

"Uncle Eddie, why do you look so sad?" the child's voice suddenly asked another question.

Ed's head snapped up and instead of seeing nothing, like he had expected, there was a little girl sitting across the table from him. She looked to be about eight or nine with an innocent face that was framed by long, dark hair.

"I thought I told you not to call me Eddie," he responded in a light tone. Over and over Ed had told the little girl to call him 'Ed' or 'Edward' and not 'Eddie', he hated that name. But during his stay with Matthias and his family, Edward had grown to except the name by their youngest daughter, Lena, who insisted to call him so.

Lena giggled in response. "You didn't answer my question."

Edward sighed and said, "I'm sad for a lot of reasons." He once again stared down at the table as Lena looked thoughtful for a few moments before a big grin developed on her cute face.

"But you have everyone you care about here," she explained, "and everybody else is gone, so there's nothing to be sad about Uncle," Ed was taken back by this response and looked up at her. Lena's cute smile was replaced by a deep frown.

"Lena…" his words were caught in his mouth.

"You got what you wanted didn't you?" she asked. "You're home with your brother and friends. The rest of us are gone."

"That's not true," he said in a low tone.

"Then why did you leave?" Lena said quietly as tears began to stream down her face. Edward watched her and suddenly noticed that the tears weren't clear like they should be, they were a dark red color. "Why did you leave us behind, Uncle Eddie?"

"God… no… Lena," Ed couldn't think, his mind went blank the moment he realized that it was blood and not tears falling down her face. His body began to shake and his eyes welled up with tears.

"You couldn't save us," she said calmly. Edward's tears began to pour down his face uncontrollably as he stared at Lena, one of the many children whose life ended all too soon. Ed began to cry hysterically as he stared at her.

"I'm sorry…" he cried helplessly.

"You can't save us because you're too late," Lena repeated the words from her father in Ed's dream. Edward blinked and suddenly she was gone as if she was never there. Edward continued to cry his heart out even when someone suddenly turned on the kitchen light.

"Ed? Edward, what's wrong?" Winry said as she rushed to his side. Edward looked at her with a lost look as she grew closer. Winry kneeled down in front of him with worry written all over her face. Without a second thought, Edward launched out of his chair and wrapped his arm around her. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and continued to sob.

"I couldn't save them," his voice muffled by being covered.

"Save who?" Winry tied to comfort as she rubbed his back in a soothing manner.

"Them," he choked out and continued to hold onto Winry. "I couldn't save them." From the door way Alphonse, Gracia, and Hughes stood there and watched the scene before them. None of them had ever seen Ed so broken.

The next morning at Central headquarters was the same as always, except for Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, who was quiet for once as he walked towards his destination. After last night's events he couldn't go back to sleep, but then again neither could anyone else. Alphonse and Winry stayed by Edward's side wide awake even when he finally drifted off. Hughes walked down the hallway and headed for Roy's office to discuss things. Reaching the entrance to Roy's office, Hughes walked in quietly and with a serious face.

"Why the hell are you so quiet?" Roy asked nonchalantly from his desk. The rest of his staff seemed to preoccupy themselves with other things, but it was obvious that they were listening in.

"It's Edward," Hughes responded as he pulled a chair up to his friend's desk. Roy's attention, and the rest of the room, was now focused on Hughes.

"What about him? Is he alright?" Hawkeye asked from where she was sitting.

"Physically, he's fine," Hughes started slowly as the grouped let out a sigh of relief.

"Well that's great! He looked awful the last time we saw him," Fuery exclaimed as the Falman, Havoc, and Breda nodded their heads in agreement while Hawkeye and Roy stayed silent.

"So, what's the problem then?" Roy urged his friend to continue.

"The problem is that mentally, he's a wreck," Hughes said bluntly. The staff became quiet.

"What do you mean?" Hawkeye asked.

"I mean that even though he's recovering physically, which is great don't get me wrong, but mentally… it's a whole different story," Hughes tried to explain.

Roy became irritated with how vague Hughes was being and said, "Meaning what? Is he too afraid to come out of that room and hiding in a corner or something?"

"No, idiot! Meaning that in the middle of the night I woke up hearing Ed talking to someone, who wasn't there, keep in mind, downstairs and found Ed crying hystarically in my kitchen," he snapped back. Honestly, Roy can be such an ass, he thought to himself.

"What…?" Roy said in disbelief.

"He's had a mental breakdown," Falman stated in a low voice.

"How is he now?" Hawkeye insisted. It was clear that they were all having a hard time to digest the issue at hand. To have something that would make Edward Elric cry like a baby would indeed have to be something terrible.

"He's calmed down. When I left he was still asleep and the whole house was watching him carefully," Hughes slumped in his chair slightly. "I don't know what's wrong though, he won't talk to anyone about it and all he told Al was that he was beyond the Gate. Other than that your guess is as good as mine." he explained.

Roy nodded his head in understanding. Alphonse had explained to him some time ago about this Gate and based on that information, it wasn't a good place. When he tried to look it up in the library, the information went strait over his head. None of it made any sense to him.

"Maybe it's just a one-time kind of thing," Havoc suggested, but Falman shook his head.

"If it's something from a severe traumatic experience, then it'll most likely come up again. He may be fine at other times, but who knows when he would break down again," Falman clarified to the group.

"So what are we going to do?" Breda asked. "The Colonel still hasn't worked out the details to cover up Ed's disappearance without anyone asking too many questions, so we can't take him to a doctor or anything."

"Breda's right about the cover-up story, but I don't think a doctor would be of any use," Hawkeye voiced her concern. The rest of the room silently agreed with her.

"I guess all we can do is to try to help him the best we can," Roy recommended, "and not let him fall into any depressions or things like that."

"That's a good idea and it seems like it's our only option," Hughes concluded as he got up to leave the room. Before he opened to exit, Hughes turned around once more and added, "You all are coming to the birthday party tomorrow, right?"

The officers were caught off guard by the sudden change in subject, but said yes anyway.

"Oh good! Make sure you buy the birthday kids a present! See you later!" and with that Hughes shut the door behind him and began his walk back to his own office.

Author's Note: okay! Chapter six is complete! I hope you enjoyed this one! And for those of you who got lost in the first part of the story (during Ed's dream with Matthias) by the strange words that you couldn't pronounce (there German words by the way) here is what they mean:

Muselmänner- a camp term used to describe camp prisoners that were about to die.

Lebensuwertes Lebens- "a life unworthy of life" it was based off of a book published in the 1920s and referred to the mentally and physically handicapped and regarded the killing of this group of people in society as a "healing treatment." The term and book became a base for the right of the state to kill unwanted groups of the population.

So yeah, researching this stuff depressed me. Well I'll hopefully have chap. seven out soon, but while you wait submit a review!