Emails: Emmett Cullen to Carlisle Cullen
Emails from Carlisle Cullen written by CarsmeCarlislexEsme.
Emails from Emmett Cullen written by me, YoursTruly101.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
Dad? What? Why? Don't leave me! Where are you, by the way?
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
I'm back. Sorry, I was in a meeting. I'm In Canada on business, also scouting out potential homes for us to move in to. Honestly, I need your mother's opinion. I'm no good at house stuff. Oh, and a small dog followed me back to my hotel...it won't leave.
~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
Don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it! It deserves to live, too! (puppy dog pout)
Ooo! A house! Can we have an indoor pool?
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
I'm not going to eat it! I didn't eat the last dog we had...wasn't that you son.
Indoor Pool, good idea! I"ll check.
~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
INDOOR POOL INDOOR POOL INDOOR POOL!
No. That was not me. I would never eat an innocent little puppy.
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
YES YOU DID YOU ATE GINGERSNAP! MY LITTLE GINGY!
This one is a cute little thing.
~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
...I'm a cute little thing...
I did not!
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
YES YOU DID!
She's only a puppy, a little German Shepard... I'm naming her Poppy!
~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
:'( I did not.
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
YES YOU DID! Esme and I went on vacation, and when we came back Gingersnap was gone! Alice said you ate her!
How pissed would Esme be I brought home this dog?
~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
...I went to confession for it... I think I scared the priest...
I don't know... she's your wife... you ask her... stupid.
To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
From: carlislecullen
Hey Emmet,
I found that taco you hid behind the toilet... a year ago. Maybe that's why you went to confession...
Emmet, you're an idiot. That was MY damn taco.
OMG! Guess WHAAAAT! Sarah Jessica Parker is coming for her annual Save Hermit the Moose parade! She's bringing her bazooka.
So Emmet, you scared the priest. I bet it was because you went in your clown/frying pan/chestnut costume. You know what, Esme sewed that costume for you. You abused it, you damn bastard!
Hmmm, I wonder if my Spanish soap is coming back. The next episode was supposed to be about a man-eating semi-translucent enchilada, But they canceled it because the producer accidentally killed himself with baking soda and a ninja star.
Well bye! I'm gonna go ride my donkey to Macy's. They are having a sale on microwaves and wild untamed savage tigers! Gonna get my self a tiger. Eeyyuupp.
BYE!
~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
You finally understand me, father. But no. It was my damn taco.
To: carlislecullen
From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen
No. But seriously. Are you high? Can vampires get high? Teach me your ways.
A/N—So why did Carlisle send that extremely abnormal message? Hit the review button and let us know your thoughts! Also hit that favorite and alert button!
I would also like to know why he sent that message... because I have no idea either... A shout-out to Penny, the special guest author who wrote Carlisle's exceedingly OOC email.