Does anyone here own the Titans? 'Cause I'll totally fight you for it.

"Move like a beam of light;
Fly like lightning,
Strike like thunder,
Whirl in circles around
A stable center."

-Morihei Ueshiba, The Art of Peace

Little Red Robin…

Wrapping the last of the athletic tape around his hands, Robin's bare feet spread along the dojo mat as he settled into a solid fighting stance. Save his mask, he had traded his Robin costume for a loose white judoka practice uniform. Steeling himself with a long, drawn breath, he began.

It was a dance so deeply rehearsed his muscles knew every move on instinct. The kick snapped out in the air crispy, shifting his weight for a proper follow-up, Robin balanced on the balls of his feet and

(and he was a boy again, kneeling on the batcave's floor of cold stone as his lungs squeezed out ragged breaths. Bats fluttered invisibly in the darkness as he stared up at the omnipotent Dark Knight, his mentor…

"Get up, little bird. This night isn't over yet."

"I-I…can't…" he had panted. "I'm too tired…"

"Not tired enough if you still have the breath to talk. Get up now, and you might make it to your bed at dawn."

He had only been twelve.)

Raven meditated, Cyborg tooled in his garage, Starfire shopped at the mall, and Beast Boy played his video games. They had their own ways of escaping.

(Two weeks crystallized into this one moment when Robin executed the last motions of the kata, his mentor had declared his technique 'perfect'. But his elation crashed on the rocks and sank into the deep when the Batman assigned him twenty more repetitions of the exact same session.

"But you said it was perfect!"

"Exactly," he replied in an infallible logic not to be questioned. "Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. Now that you've finally done it right, I want you to do it perfect every single time until 'perfect' is carved into your bones. Understood?")

Robin's empty stomach clawed at his insides, rebuking him for the breakfast he had skipped that morning. But hunger pains were more tolerable than being punched in the gut after a full meal- he knew that from experience.

Lunch came and went, and the Titan's dojo mat was still warm with Robin's passing feet as he continued battling the air, his fighter's mind imagining their shapes with perfect clarity.

(The sonata of gunfire boomed endless echoes in the batcave's stone depths; Robin dove and weaved into the formation of men-shaped drones in an effort to throw off their motion sensors. Crouching low on the floor, he became a whirl of battering kicks as his hands walked him between the ponderous targets. Springing into the air, a final split-kick knocked over the last two targets-

Then he fell hard on the stone, clutching at his side where the rubber bullet caught him.

A towering darkness indistinguishable from the expanse of the cave, his Mentor crossed his arms and scowled. "You're dead.")

"Friend Robin?"

There was a sensation like waking when Starfire's concerned voice broke his catatonia, his stance stumbled and his punches sloppy.

"Robin, you have been practicing for many hours," she said meekly. "Cyborg has cooked an assortment of dead animals and vegetable-burgers for dinner."

"I think I'll pass," he huffed gruffly, timing his words with the sharp exhales of his attacks. Punch, block, counter, punch, block, roundhouse kick, step…

He could hardly resist when Star's hand gently caught his arm. She could crumble a car with one good punch, and his muscles were useless strings of aches running through his body.

"You have had enough training today," she asserted with Tamaranean resolve. "Come now, you can rest at the table with us. Everyone is waiting."

Hooking her thin arm around his waist, Starfire half-carried Robin out of the dojo. He found himself in no state to disagree. The adrenaline and endorphins that had been feeding him most of the day were finally spent, it seemed. He was exhausted.

And the thought of everyone at the table; Cyborg and Beast Boy arguing over the vegetarian-unfriendly meal while Raven made a good show of ignoring them with another new book…

Suddenly, Robin forgot all about dark caves, hardships, and shadowy fathers. Letting Starfire lead him to the common room, he looked forward to dinner with his family.

Spoilsport…

Clearing his throat, Robin crossed his arms sternly. "Give it."

"Aw man…" Hanging his head low in something like a pout, Cyborg sighed and begrudgingly put his laser pointer in Robin's outstretched hand.

Nearby, a kitten with fuzzy green fur crouch low on its paws, warily sniffing the spot where the funny-dot-thingy had been.

"You know that thing makes him crazy."

"I can't help it man! It's just too easy!"

Morphing back into his human shape, Beast Boy sat cross logged and scratched his head. "Hey, guys? Did any of you see anything just now? I coulda sworn…"

"No" they replied quickly.

The Great Outdoors, Part II

(whatever happened to Part I? Go to GuardianSaiyoko's Whitewater)

"…Remind me again why I am doing this."

Sitting across their campfire, Robin adjusted the smoldering logs with his staff. "Come on Raven," he chided. "You know you're enjoying yourself."

Hesitant as she was about Jinx and Kid Flash house-sitting the Tower for an entire weekend, Raven slowly beginning to appreciate the little vacation this camping trip had become. Sure, everything that could go wrong on a camping trip had happened; there was a persistent drizzle, they had to build a campfire from wet wood, the boy's tent flooded, their food consisted of Pop Tarts, Twinkies, chips, hot dogs, s'mores, and condiments (Starfire squeezed the mustard dry the first night), and….and….

Raven honestly found herself thinking this trip couldn't be anymore perfect.

"Great job on your tent, by the way," Raven smiled at Robin under her hood. With the boy's tent more livable from the outside, Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy were forced to cram themselves in with the girls and their miraculously dry tent.

Stiffening, Robin's staff poked absently at the fire. "That's what happens when Cyborg and Beast Boy are supposed to do something together…"

"If memory serves correctly, you were the one stuck building the tent after those two raced to the biggest tree they could find in the park (which Cyborg then tried to uproot to shake out the green squirrel chittering at him from the branches). Did Batman never teach your how to pitch a tent between birdarang throwing and quiet-loner training?"

Robin seemed too grateful a shuffling in the bushes just at the fringes of their campsite. He and Raven were the first ones up that morning, so it couldn't be the others…

Having unconsciously brought his staff to the ready, Robin relaxed when he spotted the golden retriever relieving itself behind a tangle of trees.

A green golden retriever.

"Ahem," Raven made herself known pointedly.

Yipping in surprise, Beast Boy's suddenly human head blushed at them as his hid behind a tree. "AHH! Can't a guy have some privacy?"

--------------------

"For the last time, Beast Boy: there is no such thing as the bat-pole!"

"Oh yeah? Then how do you get down to the batcave?"

"We have stairs."

"You mean bat-stairs."

"Thorn." Robin warned.

"Ow!" Beast Boy yelped.

Exploring the rough hiking trails winding through the deeper parts of the forest, the Titans had stumbled on a dried up riverbed that cut deep along the wooded hills. Wandering with no particular destination in mind, they followed the bed further up the hill, discovering a natural staircase the rushing water had carved from the solid rock.

Unfortunately, the riverbed skewed far off any official hiking trails, clogging their trek with fallen trees, thick overgrowth, and a generous helping of thorns. Using his staff like a vintage explorer, Robin led the way for his team- clearing off the more troublesome obstacles with a little help from Cyborg.

And yet Beast Boy still managed to jab himself with every thorn on the 'trail'.

Ducking between two gnarled trees that had collapsed across the empty river, Robin easily brushed past a tangle of thorns as Cyborg climbed over the logs and the girls simply flew over them.

"Thorn," Robin warned again.

The warning didn't help. "Ow!"

"I said 'thorn'."

Meanwhile, Cyborg and Raven were continuing the same conversation they have had the entire camping trip.

"All I'm sayin' is that if we were all still normal, we'd probably be goin' to Prom right now."

"You mean if you boys were normal," Raven corrected him. "Star and I were born like this. By our standards, we are normal."

"I guess you got a point," Cy conceded.

"Hey," Robin said defensively. "I'm comparatively normal."

"Yeah," the changeling snorted further down the dried-up river. "'Cause all kids are raised in caves by grown men in bat costumes. Sorry Rob, I had a weird childhood, but I never had my own bat-pole. Ow!"

"Oh right," Robin reminded himself. "Thorn."

"'Normal' is such a relative term anyway," Raven went on. "For me, the only thing 'normal' about Beast Boy is the fact he's green."

"Don't forget the ears. Chicks dig the ears."

She ignored him. "The things Beast Boy does on the other hand, like obsessing over mopeds or inviting a flock of sea turtles to our front door, that's not normal."

"Oh please," Beast Boy said. "If I just started acting 'normal', we'd all get so bored so fast we'd probably kill each other!"

"Meh. I still say Raven's gonna kill you anyways, grass-stain." Cyborg remarked. "It's kinda eventual."

"Please friends," Starfire spoke up politely. "Can we not discuss of the close comrades slaying one another? The ser 'ak-tarr is not something taken lightly on my world."

"The see-ack-what?" Cyborg asked.

"It is a suicide pact between two lovers to restore lost honor."

Beast Boy sniggered. "Ooohh…rough luck there Rob…"

Bending a branch back with his gloved hand, Robin waited for the right time to let it go. "Hey, Beast Boy: thorn."

The satisfying thwack was followed by the usual…

"&#!"

Uh….expletive.

The entire team stopped to stare at shifter's…colorful tongue.

"What?" he said innocently. "We're in the woods."

----------------------

Cresting a steep hill on their way back to the campsite, the Titans overlooked a section of the forest preserve they hadn't spotted when they first arrived.

"Well whaddya know, BB?" Cyborg said. "Looks like we're not the only ones campin' here after all."

But to the changeling, what those people down there were doing was not camping. Marooned on the flattened grass like sprawling sea turtles on a beach were a caravan of campers and RVs glowing with warm light and electric comfort.

Beast Boy thrashed and snarled as Cyborg's bulky arms pinned him into a bear hug.

"Chill BB! It's not worth it!"

"Those buncha cheaters! We're out here freezing our butts off in the rain and they're eating microwave popcorn!"

"Do you think they have the mustard?" Starfire wondered hopefully. "Without mustard my 'Popped Tarts' are incomplete. Perhaps we can go and ask…"

"I can see through their windows! They're watching TV! Satellite TV! That is NOT camping!"

Coulrophobia

It had taken quite a bit of convincing to get Robin to go the Jump City Fair with them. Somehow, Raven knew that assuring Robin it wasn't a circus- more like an amusement park- helped him change his mind.

The others still weren't sure how she did that.

As the day went on, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Robin had hopped in line for almost every ride in the park- Cyborg being too large to fit and Raven outright refusing to ride ("Unless you want something exploding.")

But eventually, the five of them were content to simply wander about the park. Robin won starfire a giant teddy bear, Cyborg kept his first-place Hotdog Eating title, Raven threw a 120 mile per hour fastball (without even picking it up) and a green gorilla earned himself a big penguin doll after ringing bell in the strength test game.

"Uh…guys?" Robin warily. "Do you think we can avoid the Fun House?"

The rest of the team glanced across the way to the Fun House entrance. Children crowded the front for the performing clowns making balloon animals, hats, swords.

"Where I come from," Robin explained darkly. "Clowns aren't funny."

Moving on with a slightly grim air, Beast Boy stopped dead in his tracks, staring at something with bright, happy eyes. It took a moment for the Team to realize they had lost their green shifter; when they found him, he was ecstatic.

"DUDES! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

When they looked behind the changeling, everyone except Raven sported identical grins.

"Bump?" said Beast Boy.

"er?" replied Cyborg.

"Cars?" finished Robin.

Throwing up her arms merrily, Starfire shouted "Bumper cars!"

Raven had a bad feeling about this. "Oh no…"

Things Beast Boy is NOT allowed to do:

Raven doesn't appreciate having you write on her door. Nevermind literature references.

"'Abandon all hope, you who enter here…' Very cute, Beast Boy."

Stop trying to instigate a 'Cow Revolution'

"Come on cows, viva la revolution! You can do it! Fight for your freedom!"

"Looks to me they're more interested in eating grass," Cyborg commented.

"USE YOUR FANGS!"

"…..cows have fangs?"

You are not Cthulhu

"Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

"Yes, we're all very impressed you morphed tentacles onto your head. Now give me back my Lovecraft book."

Stop going to petting zoos for the free food

"Mamma! Mamma! I wanna feed the Llama!"

"Excuse me, sir?" the woman asked the keeper hesitantly. "Are Llamas supposed to be that…well…green?"

Robin is not a ninja

"Dude, seriously! You already have the kung-fu and the cool stuff. All you need is a scarf and a ninja-mask and you're set!"

"No, Beast Boy."

Wrecking the R-Cycle once was enough

"But I still have seven minutes left on her!"

"Think again, Beast Boy."

"Fine. I guess those photos of you and Cyborg are going to meet your adoring public after all…"

"If that happens, a video of you singing 'Man, I feel like a woman' in the shower might find its way onto the internet too."

"….touché."

Dressing in a bathrobe and a shower cap does not make you Yoda.

"Is that my shower cap?"

"In this one, much anger I sense…"

'Wicked' is not Raven's biography.

Cyborg slowly leaned into Beast Boy's ear. "Dude, run."

You are not that insurance duck

Passersby on the street stared at the sign next to the lonely green duck. 'FIRED AFTER FREAK ACCIDENT TURNED ME GREEN.'

"Y'know," one onlooker said. "I'm pretty sure he could get sued for that…"

"Sued for what? He's a duck."

You are not allowed on the internet. EVER.

"I just got the strangest feeling of déjà vu…"

For all you fans of Whitewater, I'm sure you recognize a few things. The Great Outdoors was a camping trip me and Saiyoko took with our friends instead of going to prom. Most everything written there actually transpired- the 'Thorn' game having no "OW" only pure F-bombs.

That dry riverbed certainly was interesting though. Sai just took the easy route and walked up a waterfall.

Yes, I know how that sounds.

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed my latest chapter, I worked pretty hard on it. As always, I like reviews. Feed the my writer's ego, please.

Thanks for Reading,

-Cy