Chapter 9- The Longest Night

Hermione ran through the dungeons up to the ground floor. She finally stopped in an alcove close to the Great Hall. She closed her eyes breathing heavily trying to calm her heart and mind.

What was I thinking? How could I have been so stupid? She thought to herself. Of course Professor Snape would catch on. She might have been able to pull off a story with Slughorn, but never Snape. As she stood there catching her breath, she heard Professor McGonagall's voice coming down the staircase.

"Of course we wouldn't mind you having the wedding here, Neville. After everything you and Luna have done for all of us, I can't believe you would even have to ask."

Hermione tried to comb through her hair with her fingers and slipped out of the alcove closing in behind Minerva and Neville who were clearly deep in conversation.

"Good morning, Minerva, Neville," she said trying to keep her voice calm. Both professors turned around in surprise.

"Hermione!" Minerva said. "I didn't see you behind us. Are you all right? You look a little flushed."

Inwardly Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Minerva had just unknowingly given her the opening she needed.

"Actually I have not been feeling well. I'm afraid I must have picked something up from one of the students. You may want to have a replacement ready for the next couple days in case I end up sick."

"Well, it's that time of year. I was just talking to Madam Pomfrey and she said that she's had students in and out of the hospital ward all weekend with one illness or another. Are you going to eat breakfast at least?"

The last thing Hermione felt like doing was eating, but she reasoned that this would probably be the last thing she could stomach for a while. She also didn't want to raise any more questions. So she nodded and followed the other two into the Great Hall. Neville was busy talking about the wedding plans with Luna. They had decided to get married at Hogwarts on Christmas Eve. Although it was clear they both wanted a small, private ceremony, their connections with the wizarding elite were going to make this impossible.

"I hope you will be able to come, Hermione," Neville said as they sat and he helped himself to a platter of bacon. Hermione could do little more than nibble on some toast.

"Hmm?" Hermione said feeling distracted. "Oh, of course I will, Neville. You know I wouldn't miss it."

As she forced down a sip of juice she looked up and saw Professor Snape also enter and take a seat at the table two spots down from her.

"Good morning Severus," she heard Professor Priscus say.

"I would hardly say the morning is good, but hello," Severus said looking in the direction of Hermione who was refusing to look away from her toast. Professor Priscus said nothing more and if he thought this response was odd, he made no sign of it.

"Hermione, you really aren't looking well," Neville said looking over at her. "You're all pale and clammy. Perhaps you should go up and see Madam Pomfrey. Surely she would have something to help you."

"NO!" Hermione nearly shouted. Neville jumped and looked at her alarmed. Severus looked at her with mild curiosity as if he wondered how she would find her way out of this. "Really, I've just been tired lately and with so many students sick, it's not surprising I've caught something. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing here. You all will end up sick because of me. I think I'll just head back to my rooms."

"But you haven't hardly ate," she could hear Neville's voice protesting as she made her way out of the doors.

Hermione first went into her office hoping to organize her papers and write notes to whoever would be filling in for her. There were a stack of sixth year essays that she had hoped to grade, however she quickly realized that she wasn't able to concentrate. She felt slightly sick to her stomach and she wondered if it had anything to do with the Sleeping Potion. She felt relieved that she would no longer have access to it, though. She had known for some time that what she was irresponsible at best and dangerous at worst.

'Perhaps once a few days pass and I get through the worst of it the nightmares will get better,' she thought to herself.

She spent the better part of an hour doing her best to organize her office and then went down to her classroom to make sure everything was in order there as well. When she felt satisfactorily organized she returned to her room. Her eyes felt scratchy and heavy from the lack of sleep the night before, so she grabbed a book and a cup of tea and curled up on her bed to read. She did not get three pages into the book, however, before it slipped from her hand as she fell asleep, the tea growing cold on the table.

While Hermione was sleeping fitfully with nightmares in her room, Severus was in his own room thinking about the morning's events. Of all people, he would have never imagined Hermione Granger becoming addicted to a Sleeping Potion. She always appeared to be completely in control and sure of herself.

'Of course, so do you,' he thought to himself. It was true that he tended to use his cruel wit and sharp tongue as a way of hiding any true emotions, but Granger was just the opposite. She was never cruel, unless provoked and was kind to almost everyone. He liked to think that she would surely not have anything in her perfect life so wrong as to warrant this kind of drastic measure. But then he thought back to her words that morning.

"I have been having so many nightmares. I can hardly close my eyes without seeing him."

He had pretended not to hear her. He was sure she hadn't meant to reveal quite so much. He remembered seeing her that day, draped over his dead body. It had been ages before anyone had noticed as most of the attention was on Harry, who was lying unconscious. It was Arthur who had first spotted them. He had gone over thinking that perhaps Ron was just injured. Severus could remember hearing his screams.

He could remember people- Tonks, Minerva, Neville trying to pull her off of him. But she seemed completely unaware of their attempts. No matter how hard they tried she held on. Finally her strength gave out and Arthur was finally able to pry her away. But of everything he remembered, the one thing he remembered most was that he never saw her shed a tear. She appeared dazed, lost and almost unaware of her surroundings.

He thought back to all the years he had seen Granger and Weasley together. It was clear to everyone that they had been in love for years but they never seemed aware of it themselves. When the Order had finally tracked him down three months after Albus' death, it appeared that the two were now completely inseparable. Every time he was called upon to help, whether at Grimmauld Place or the Shrieking Shack, where they had set up another temporary base, the two were always holding hands, smiling at each other and in general being rather disgusting. He even remembered stopping by the Burrow with some important information that last Christmas and hearing Weasley mention marriage. Marriage! They were still children! He had thought the boy ridiculous. Of course, barely more than two weeks later, he was dead.

It still boggled the mind, however, that ten years after the dimwitted boy's death Granger would still be grieving like this. Perhaps she was not as bright as he had thought. She was a smart witch and not unattractive (although certainly not what anyone would call pretty, he thought quickly). Surely she could have her choice of wizards. Or Muggles for that matter. Yes, he could see her doing something silly like marrying a Muggle. But it seemed that her heart was still firmly in the past or, more to the point, in the ground.

"And you certainly don't live in the past, do you Severus?'"he heard the voice in his head. Damn! It had snuck up on him this time. He firmly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and returned to his grading.

Hermione woke suddenly around mid day with the feeling of disorientation that comes with sleeping during the day. Her mouth felt dry and her head had a dull ache to it. As she looked at her clock she heard her stomach rumble. It was nearly noon and she had hardly eaten anything since the evening before. Unwilling to go down to lunch, she floo-called to the kitchen and requested a plate of sandwiches. Although she had finally given up on S.P.E.W., she still felt a twinge of guilt when asking house elves for their assistance. Sure enough, though, not five minutes later a house elf appeared quickly with the tray and leaving again so soon she almost thought she had imagined it.

After eating she tried to settle back down to reading the book she had started earlier, but she found it difficult to concentrate. Her head continued to ache and she was having a difficult time keeping her eyes focused. She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. What she wouldn't give to be able to get something from Madam Pomfrey, but she didn't dare.

As the afternoon went into evening, she began to feel continually worse. Her stomach began cramping and her head was throbbing. She felt like she had been run down by a herd of elephants. She finally gave up trying to do anything beyond lay in bed. Shortly after dinner time, she heard a faint knock on her door.

"Oh, Merlin," she whispered to herself. "Just go away."

She heard the knock again, this time louder. She lay still hoping that whoever it was would leave, but then she heard it a third time, this time was quite loud. She dragged herself off the bed and managed to stumble to the door, wrenching it open. Severus Snape was standing on the other side holding a vial of murky looking brown liquid.

"What are you doing here?" she asked squinted up at him as the light from the hall hurt her eyes.

"It will help with some of the pain," he said holding up the vial. "Unfortunately I cannot give you anything to help you sleep, given the situation, but it should make you more comfortable."

Hermione looked at him in surprise. Was Snape actually doing something kind?

"Well, you might as well come in," she said motioning him in the door. He stepped in gingerly, almost as if he were afraid it was a trap. "Sorry it's so dark in here. The light hurts my eyes."

Severus just nodded, not speaking and handed her the potion. She swallowed it quickly but began retching as soon as she had forced it down.

"I apologize for the taste. It is quite foul."

Hermione just nodded as she ran to get a drink of water.

"That was vile!" She gasped between gulps. "You could have warned me!"

"I suppose, but that would have taken some of the fun out of it for me."

Hermione looked up at him trying to gauge if he was joking or not. Surely not! She had never heard Professor Snape joke.

"Would you like a seat?" she asked motioning to an armchair. He moved toward it and picked up the book she had been reading.

"Shakespeare's sonnets? Rather interesting reading for an old maid." As he said the words, inwardly he cringed. He couldn't seem to help himself.

"If you're going to insult me you can leave," Hermione said coldly holding out her hand for the book. He returned the volume but did not rise.

"I will keep my tongue in check, Miss Granger. I would hate to add to your already heaping list of problems."

Hermione sat down in the chair opposite him and closed her eyes leaning her head back. With her eyes closed, Severus took a moment to study her. She had changed into pajamas at some point that afternoon and he noticed how thin she was without the bulk of robes to hide it. She had clearly not been eating well; loss of appetite was also a side effect of prolonged Sleeping Potion use. She seemed to have permanent dark circles under her eyes and her face was flushed with fever and thin. It surprised him now to realize how poor she looked. It was hard to notice when he saw her everyday, but when he thought back to the girl he knew ten years before, it almost was not the same person. When he thought to the start of term, it was clear she had lost weight, even since then.

Hermione could feel his eyes on her and she slowly opened her own expecting to see him look away. Instead, however, he met and held her gaze for a long moment and, for a brief second, she almost had a feeling of mutual understanding.

"Why are you doing this?" she said as he finally broke eye contact.

"Doing what?"

"Being kind to me. In all the years I've known you, which is quite a few if you stop to think of it, you have never once been deliberately kind to me." She tried to get him to look at her, but he now kept his eyes firmly downcast.

"I would have thought that was obvious, Miss Granger."

"Well, you're going to have to explain it to me," she said quietly.

"Do you not remember the meeting we had with Professor McGonagall at the beginning of the year? One more scandal and Hogwarts is closed. I do believe a teacher being addicted to Sleeping Potions might be considered a scandal. I'm not only saving your neck, but my neck and everyone else's as well."

"Oh." Hermione could think of nothing more to say and was suddenly grateful for the dark as she felt her face flush. What was she thinking? That he wanted to be friends? That he thought she was someone worth being nice to?This was Severus Snape. Former Death Eater and murderer. He didn't make friends. And certainly not with bushy haired know-it-all former Gryffindors that were best friends with the Chosen One.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid', she thought to herself.

As Hermione was mentally yelling at herself, Severus' conscience was also yelling. 'Do you have to be rude EVERY time she tries to be nice to you? Why can't you just accept her kindness? No woman has ever tried so hard to be nice to you since…' He mentally told the voice exactly where it could go and the rest of that thought was drowned out.

"Well," he said standing up and clearing his throat as if he had been the one to make a fool of himself. "I suppose I should go."

Hermione just nodded as he walked toward the door. As he put a hand on the door knob she called out to him.

"Professor?" He paused at the door and looked back.

"That was really very kind of you. Even if it was just to save our necks."

He paused for a long moment staring back at her. Then he surprised himself by letting go of the door knob and taking a couple steps back into the room. "Has it helped at all? The pain potion? It should start to work almost immediately."

"I think my head feels a little better. It still hurts but at least I can stand the sound of my own voice."

"Well, I'm glad you can. That's one of us at least." Although the words were harsh, Hermione could hear a hint of amusement in them.

"Perhaps…" he cleared his throat and paused for so long Hermione didn't think he would continue. "Perhaps it would help to have someone keep you company; to keep your mind off the pain."

Hermione looked up at him in surprise and he wasn't sure what she was going to say. But her face broke out into a smile and she looked delighted.

"That would be lovely, Professor."

Severus looked around unsure of what to do with himself, but Hermione motioned back to the chair he had been sitting in so he returned to it.

"If you would like, I suppose I could read to you. As a way to pass the time. It would be hard for you to read as one of the side effects is blurred vision." He shifted in his chair unsure of how to behave. Again Hermione smiled and stood up walking, although still rather unbalanced, over to a bookshelf. She pulled a very large book off of it and brought it over.

"Shakespeare probably isn't very appropriate, so perhaps you would read from this?"

She handed the book to him and he nearly laughed outright when he saw the revised edition of Hogwarts, A History staring back at him. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at her.

"A bit of light reading Miss Granger?"

"Yes," she said smiling as she lit a nearby candle with her wand. "You can skip over the part when… well, you know."

Normally a reference to the incident on the Astronomy Tower would send him into a fit of rage. However the complete lack of malice (or worse, pity) in her voice put him more at ease and he passed over the comment without responding. Instead, he opened the book, skipped the chapters until after the defeat of Voldemort and began to read.

Hermione settled herself in the chair across from Severus listening to him read. He had quite a nice voice, really, when he wasn't yelling. She closed her eyes and relaxed. Her head had very much improved and she only felt a few twinges in her stomach. Her legs and arms still had a dull ache, but it was manageable. She could not relax enough to fall asleep but at least she wasn't in the pain she had been in earlier.

Severus continued reading for several hours and Hermione alternated between relaxing and shifting restlessly in her chair when a twinge of pain would hit her. Any time she moved or grunted in pain, Severus' eyes would lift from the page and he would pause for a moment until she was comfortable again. Finally, several lengthy chapters past where he had begun, he looked up at her and did not look back down again.

"Miss Granger," he said quietly and her dozing form jumped awake. "It is well past midnight and you can hardly keep your eyes open. I believe it is time for me to go."

"Yes, I suppose you are right," she said feeling a little disappointed. It had been nice to have company, even if it was the most hated professor at Hogwarts, but she did not argue. "You must be about to fall asleep yourself."

"Actually, I require very little sleep, but I don't want to deprive you of yours." He set the book on the table and rose. "The potion will wear off again before morning. I will bring you more in a few hours. If you like, I will also speak to Professor McGonagall in the morning and let her know that you will not be well enough to teach classes today."

Hermione nodded, but was too tired to say anything more. He let himself out the door and as soon as he left she crawled into bed and fell asleep.