A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and to RenitaLeandra for all her work.

A bit of Harry Potter nerdness- if I have it figured correctly, the events at the beginning of this chapter would be taking place exactly one year from today- Jan 7, 2008. I never intended it to work out that way- I actually wrote this chapter months ago, but it's still a funny coincidence.

Chapter 14- Under the Tree

The rest of Christmas break passed by in a haze of confusion for Hermione. After Severus had left the Great Hall on Christmas Day, she had turned to see the entire Head Table staring at her. Minerva was the only one who seemed unfazed. The rest of the teachers were staring at her with a mix of confusion and horror. She told herself that she didn't have a clue what they were shocked about. Didn't everyone wish each other a Merry Christmas? However after that day, she saw very little of Severus and came to the conclusion that he must be avoiding her. This left her feeling hurt and confused. She did not understand what she had done to cause this reaction from him.

She did not have much time to dwell on it, however, as the anniversary of the Final Battle was quickly approaching. Her nightmares had begun to return, so she had taken to using the Memory Crystal every night. This did little to help her during the day, though, and she found herself thinking about it more and more as the anniversary came closer. In her classes she was distracted and her students seemed to be noticing. She found herself wishing that she could talk to Severus. He seemed to be the only one who might have understood how she felt. This thought caused her some surprise. Surely she was the only person who had ever actually found the Potions Master comforting.

Two days before the anniversary, she finally managed to catch him in the staffroom. He appeared to be discussing with Pomona some plants that she was having trouble with. She managed to approach him before he could slip away, as he had been doing ever since Christmas.

"Severus, could I have a word with you?" she asked as Pomona slipped out the door.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, almost coolly. Hermione frowned to herself. What had happened to the friendship they had shared?

"Well, I was wondering if you would be attending the ceremony at Phoenix Park on Friday."

"I was not planning to," he said shortly as he gathered up some rolls of parchment. "I do not care for the kind of attention that is given to me at such events. Most people treat me as if I should be in Azkaban. It's not an enjoyable time for me."

"Oh. I see," Hermione said feeling disappointed. She swallowed hard and turned away. Somehow the anniversary seemed much harder knowing he would not be there. Severus stared at her back for a moment and then turned to go when she called out again. "Severus? Have I done something to anger you?"

"What makes you say that?" He tried to sound annoyed, but he failed.

"You seem to be avoiding me. I just wondered if I had upset you somehow."

When he turned back around he saw she was looking at him. "Hermione, you have done nothing to upset me."

She gave a faint smile, although he could tell she was still disappointed he wasn't going to the ceremony. He walked over to her and stopped just short of taking her hand.

"I'm not going to the celebrations because Friday is my birthday," he said miserably. Hermione's eyes widened with surprise.

"I didn't know! I'm so sorry. I never would have asked…"

"It's never been something that I celebrated. Even before; but to go and have people whispering… It may come as a surprise, but its not very enjoyable being the most hated hero in the wizarding world. The only thing I want for my birthday is to spend it alone; without any accusations being whispered behind my back."

"Of course, I completely understand. Thank you for telling me, though." She smiled at him and as she walked passed him to leave he felt her hand trail along his arm. For a second he felt an impulse to grab it and pull her back, but her hand was gone and the moment passed.

The day of the anniversary was bright and cold. Although it was a Friday, classes had been cancelled. Many of the students had lost family members in the War and were going to be attending various ceremonies as well as many of the faculty members.

Hermione woke that day with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. The ceremony was scheduled to begin at noon, however, she was planning on arriving early to be with Harry. She dressed carefully, knowing The Daily Prophet would be there not just reporting the events but critiquing everyone as well.

She did not go down to breakfast. She had no appetite and she was in no mood to see anyone. Briefly, in the back of her mind, she wished she could see Severus before she left, but she knew he would not want to be bothered.

Shortly after ten o'clock, she made her way downstairs. She was planning to Apparate from outside Hogwarts grounds. She knew Minerva had already left and Neville was planning on going with Luna shortly before the ceremony was to begin. The wind was cold and biting as she stepped outside. She was wearing a heavy cloak and the scarf Ginny had given her, which was a dark blue right now, but she could still feel the cold through the layers of clothing.

She walked down the path to the gates, snow crunching under her feet. As soon as she walked through the gates, she Apparated and then next thing she saw was the village of Little Hangleton in the distance and a large field currently swarming with people.

The first person to spot her was Tonks, who had also just Apparated, her hair a sedate brown for the occasion. "You look about as happy to be here as I feel," she said as they trudged up the hill together.

"Well there are better things I could think of doing today," Hermione said with a small laugh. "Like scrub out my cauldron. Are you going to all the events?"

"Yeah," Tonks said, a little breathless as they reached to top of the hill. "I pretty much have to, being Head of the Auror Office. Really, I'm pretty lucky. Today isn't the anniversary that I dread. That one's already come and gone."

Hermione nodded but said nothing, understanding what the other woman was referring to. A month before the Final Battle, Remus Lupin had been discovered by the other werewolves as a spy. To say his death had been brutal was an understatement. Tonks had been devastated at the time and it was only in the last several years that she had begun to resemble the young woman from before.

They had now reached the crowd. Hermione could see Harry talking to a Daily Prophet reporter, Minerva was talking with Shaklebolt and Hesita Jones and she could see Arthur trying to comfort Molly, who appeared to be crying. She said good-bye to Tonks and walked over toward them. As soon as Molly saw her, she threw her arms around her.

"Oh, Hermione!" she said, her voice muffled into Hermione's cloak. "I'm so glad you're here. It will be so much easier going through this together."

Inwardly Hermione cringed. She was hoping to spend most of her time alone. It was hard for her to grieve properly when people were watching her. But instead she settled for patting Molly's back as the woman continued to sniff and hold on to Hermione like a life raft. Finally Arthur gave Hermione an apologetic smile and pulled his wife away.

"Molly, dear, poor Hermione is going to suffocate if you keep trying to strangle her."

Molly gave a half-sob, half-laugh. "Oh, I'm so sorry dear. I have been dreading this day for months. I just got overwhelmed."

"I understand, Molly. I'm not looking forward to this either."

Soon Ginny joined them holding a heavily bundled Ronnie, who was now as chubby and happy as any baby had the right to be.

"We won't be staying long," she said handing the babbling little boy over to Hermione. "It is too cold for him to stay out and I didn't want to leave him behind this time. Besides, I would rather spend today without all the attention"

As Hermione played with Ronnie, Harry finally managed to break free and come over to join them. He said nothing to Hermione but gave her a long hug. He looked tired, and she said so when she got the chance.

"I know," Harry said with a sigh. "I'd love to blame it on being a new father, but honestly Ronnie sleeps great. I've just had a lot on my mind. This time of year is never easy for me."

Hermione didn't say anything but gave Ronnie back to his mother and slowly wandered away from the group. As she walked, people would occasionally come up and have a word with her. Minerva made a point to see how she was doing; Minister Shaklebolt also came up for a moment to have a word, which only caused all the spectators to whisper. It seemed the morning was passing with agonizing slowness. Finally the time for the ceremony came.

Hermione searched out Arthur and Molly, who were standing with Neville and Luna. As Minister Shaklebolt began to speak, Hermione let her mind wander, not wanting to listen to the words for fear she would begin crying. So far she had not shed a tear and she was hoping to get through the entire day. As she was scanning the crowd, her eyes fell onto the tree that Ron had died under. It was still alive, as it was on the edge of the property and had not been damaged when Riddle Manor was destroyed. She had already decided that she would spend some time there before she left, hoping that would bring some closure to her grief. She had not been back here since the Final Battle.

She turned back to the Minister just in time for him to unveil a new monument they had erected.

"Dear Merlin," she said under her breath grabbing Molly's arm for support. It was a statue of her, Harry and Ron. Harry, of course, was in the middle and she was on his left with Ron on the right. All three appeared to be mid-fight. She could tell from where they were standing that all three of them bore little resemblance to their real life counterparts. Hermione noticed that not only were both Ron and Harry somewhat more muscular than she had remembered them as teenagers but her own dimensions were more than a little off as well. Not to mention she was quite sure she had never worn robes cut that low. It was the most ridiculous thing Hermione had ever seen.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Molly asked tearfully. "We wanted it to be a surprise."

Hermione looked at it trying to conceal her horror. The last thing she ever wanted was to be recognized in such a lurid, public way. She gave Molly a weak smile.

"Well," she finally said, unable to think of what to say. "Ron would have loved it."

Harry was speaking now, clearly still not enjoying the public role he was always forced to take. He kept his words brief, mentioning the contributions of everyone else that day, and appeared to be trying not to run as he stepped away from the podium. They then began to list the names of the people who died during the Second War, excluding, of course, the Death Eaters. Again she tuned out their words. She hated hearing the names, almost all people she had known, and as always, Ron's name was last. She did note, with interest that Draco Malfoy's name was listed as he had finally chosen to fight with the Order. 'Too bad Voldemort killed him almost immediately', Hermione thought.

Finally, Harry made his way over to her. "Sorry about the statue," he whispered. "I knew you would hate it. I don't care much for it myself; reminds me of that old fountain that used to sit at the Department of Magic. Everyone seemed to think it was the greatest idea, though. At least Ron would have liked it."

Hermione snorted with laughter. "That's what I told Molly." They walked for a while, away from the crowd of people. As they walked she saw George and Natalie, sitting apart from the group. George's eyes were red and Natalie was talking quietly to him. Harry saw them too and they steered away from them giving them privacy.

"So what's going on with you and Snape?" Harry asked suddenly.

Hermione looked over him with shock. Whatever she was expecting him to say, this was not it.

"What do you mean? We're friends."

"That's not what it sounds like," he said steering them around the edge of the property. "I was talking to Minerva earlier. She said the two of you seemed pretty close lately. And that you two are on a first name basis."

"Harry, of course we are. I call you by your first name don't I?" Hermione said laughing. "We would be awfully strange friends if we weren't."

"That's beside the point. Hermione, I've seen how you look at him. It's the same look you used to give Ron."

"I do not!" Hermione felt herself start to blush. "This is nothing like Ron. How could you even compare the two?"

Harry stopped walking and looked at her. "Of course it's nothing like Ron. You were eighteen when Ron died. The point is you can say you're just friends all you want, but it seems obvious to me that there is something else going on."

"Harry, I promise you, there is nothing going on; quite the contrary. In fact, Severus has been avoiding me ever since Christmas."

To Harry, this seemed to add fuel to his argument, but he said nothing. It was obvious Hermione was still oblivious.

"Ok, I'll drop the subject," he said as they resumed walking. "But if he does anything to hurt you, I swear Hermione…"

"Oh stop it," she said rolling her eyes. "Honestly, there is no reason to get so worked up."

Suddenly she looked around and realized where their feet had led them. They were standing in front of the tree where Ron had died. From the look on Harry's face, it was clear he also had not been aware of where they were going. She stood still, staring at it.

"Um…do you want me to give you some time alone?" Harry asked, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"Is that okay?" Hermione asked looking over at him. He nodded and walked away toward the crowd on the hill. No one seemed to notice where they were.

She turned back around and stared at the tree for a long time. Finally she walked over to its trunk, running her hand along the bark. And then she saw it, poking just barely through the layer of snow that covered the ground. The root was still there waiting to betray unsure feet. She stumbled her way over to it, dropping to her knees and pushing the snow away with her hands oblivious to the cold. It had been snowy that day as well; perhaps that was why she hadn't seen it.

Suddenly, without registering what she was doing, she began pulling on it. It refused to budge. It suddenly seemed very important to Hermione that this root be destroyed so no one could ever stumble over it again. She fell back, losing her balance and then, from a sitting position, began kicking at it as well. It didn't matter; the tree was old and was not going to give because one young woman was angry at it. She felt tears of frustration well in her eyes and fall onto her face, feeling hot against her cold skin. She began hitting the ground as well; her hands grabbed fists full of snow. She felt herself sobbing, her hair falling into her face.

And then she felt arms wrap around her. She tried to pull away, furious that someone would intrude upon her in this very private moment, but they wouldn't budge any more than the tree root. She twisted herself around in an attempt to push them away and looked up into the face of Severus Snape.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, blinking at him through her tears.

"I thought maybe you could use the company," he said softly.

And then the tears came again. For an eternity, it seemed, she sat in the snow sobbing while Severus sat next to her, his arms wrapped around her. He had never had any intention of attending the ceremony, but the voice in his head had been berating him all morning.

Somewhere in the back of Hermione's mind she thought that she should not be acting this way in front of him, but she couldn't stop the tears once they started. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, her tears began to subside and she finally wiped her face and sat up, staring into the distance. She looked over at him, faintly embarrassed.

"I don't expect you wanted to spend your birthday being cried all over," she said, suddenly conscious of her appearance and tried to dry her eyes and smooth her hair. He reached out and took her hands in his.

"Stop. You do not need to constantly worry about your appearance. You look fine." He looked down at her hands which were red from cold and shaking. He reached into his cloak and pulled out his wand. He pointed it at her hands and said a spell under his breath and slowly her hands stopped shaking.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner."

Severus said nothing and they sat in silence both lost in their own thoughts.

"Is this how you felt?" Hermione asked suddenly. Severus looked at her with a confused expression. "After Lily died?"

Severus' first reaction was to walk away, leave. He did not want to have this conversation; certainly not with Hermione of all people. But the look in her eyes kept him where he was. For a long moment he did not speak and he could tell she didn't think he was going to answer.

"After Lily, I thought my life was over. I had tried everything to stop it. When I found out about Voldemort's plans, I went to Albus and told him everything. It was my warning that sent them into hiding in the first place. But it wasn't enough. When I found out they had been betrayed, not just by me but by their closest friend..." He did not continue his sentence, but seemed to be lost in thought. "I did not like James; that is no secret. But I did not wish to see him dead. And Lily…Lily deserved much more than she got out of life."

Hermione said nothing but placed her hand over his as he spoke. Without realizing it he had tightened his grasp over her fingers.

"It is a difficult thing, knowing that you are responsible for someone's death." He looked at Hermione whose eyes had begun to well with tears. "But that is not a burden that you should have to carry with you. It was not your fault, Hermione. Ron did not die because of you. Bellatrix Lestrange was a very powerful witch and when she decided it was time for a person to die, they usually did. Remember, she also killed Sirius who I daresay was a much stronger wizard than Ron Weasley. You must let go of your guilt. He would not want you to be wasting away with grief ten years after his death."

Hermione nodded although tears continued to fall from her eyes. Severus reached out with his gloved hand and brushed them away. She looked at him and smiled.

"When did you become such a gentleman?" she asked now brushing away her own tears.

"I am not a gentleman," Severus said, feigning annoyance. "And I'll have words with anyone who says otherwise."

Slowly he helped her to her feet. Her cloak was soaked through from the snow and he performed the same warming spell on it as he had her hands. They both turned and looked toward the dwindling group near the statue.

"I don't want to go back," Hermione said looking over to Severus.

"That's a relief. I think I have already made my feelings about mingling known." Severus looked over at her, studying her for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said smiling and nodding. "I think I am."

"Good. Because I'm cold and hungry and my cloak is now in desperate need of cleaning." They walked further away from the group in order to apparate. "By the way, that statue is hideous. It doesn't look a thing like you. Weasley would have liked it though."

As they Disapparated, the sound of Hermione's laughter could be heard in the still winter air.