Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter series

Tearing

Narcissa shut her eyes tightly, hoping to block out the images that had kept her awake all night. She concentrated on nothingness because every other thought seemed to lead back, somehow, to that terrible, poisonous reality. When she had gone to sleep, or rather had tried to, the night before, Narcissa had been able to convince herself for a short while that she was stuck in a bad dream and that when she awoke, her fears would be in vain. But now she was fully dressed, groomed, and for the most part, awake in the empty Slytherin common room as everyone else slept peacefully, looking forward to the start of a new school year. New beginnings…

But to Narcissa, everything seemed to have ended. She didn't care that Meda had shrugged it off as 'insignificant in the long run'. Meda hadn't spoken without such uneasiness herself, after all. Narcissa wouldn't be consoled until Bellatrix told her that it didn't matter, because Bellatrix understood the importance of such things far more than Andromeda ever had. At the same time, Narcissa hoped that Bellatrix didn't find out, because it would anger her too much. But more than that, she also knew, it would hurt Bella.

Finally, even the silence of the common room disturbed Narcissa, reminding her of the eerie silence that had fallen upon the Great Hall the night previous as Sirius had been sorted. With the need to hear something other than the ringing disappointment of generations of Blacks, Narcissa hurried to Andromeda's dormitory. She was fueled by an urgency that was maddening and unexplainable, as though maybe, if she hurried, she could undo the unthinkable.

"Meda," Narcissa whispered, shaking her sister gently, "Wake up."

There was a brief moment of hesitation as though Andromeda was deciding whether or not to acknowledge her sister. Finally, "I'm already awake."

She rolled over to face her little sister. Her eyes were puffy and red, Narcissa noticed in surprise. For some reason the idea that Andromeda had been crying terrified her because Andromeda had never been overly concerned with tradition. Not compared to Narcissa, not compared to Bellatrix.

But Narcissa knew the deep affection Andromeda had for Sirius, even if she had never quite understood.

Finally, after an almost petulant silence, Narcissa asked, "Have you heard anything yet? Have you talked to him?"

Andromeda remained still, her face like a stone, revealing nothing.

"Have you?" she finally countered, turning her heavy gaze upon her sister.

Narcissa was surprised by the darkness swirling in Andromeda's eyes; she looked away from the stare. Holding her chin up stiffly, she sniffed, "I have no desire to."

Andromeda did not reply, but her face changed, and Narcissa knew exactly what her sister was thinking. Andromeda had fought the need to run over to the Gryffindor table last night after dinner. Andromeda hadn't slept, but cried. Andromeda needed to talk to Sirius. Narcissa didn't share the same need. But maybe it was best, regardless. If anybody could talk sense into Sirius it would be Andromeda.

When they had eventually gone for breakfast, Narcissa found the cheerfulness of the Great Hall a cruel mockery of how dismal she felt. She wanted to brood properly, and she wanted the school to suffer along with her. Next to her, Andromeda stared glumly into her breakfast. Narcissa moved her fork without realizing what she was doing as she poked at her eggs.

"I thought you said you were hungry," Andromeda noted blankly.

Narcissa shrugged. "I guess I just lost my appetite," she replied, a sickening feeling rising in her stomach as Sirius entered with that James Potter he was so fond of.

Andromeda opened her mouth as if wanting to speak and then closed it very quickly.

"What," Narcissa demanded.
"Nothing."

Andromeda answered less and less questions, it seemed.

"Obviously you wanted to say something."

Andromeda sighed, waving her hand in the general direction of the Gryffindor table as the two boys sat down. "It could be worse, I suppose. I mean, the Potter's are purebloods at least."

Narcissa scoffed, "Barely. Come on, Andromeda. If Sirius hadn't spent so much time with Potter this whole mess never would have happened."

"Sirius has always been rebellious, Cissy. With him, anything could have happened."

Narcissa shook her head angrily; why wouldn't Andromeda understand? "Bellatrix is rebellious, Meda. Sirius is… something beyond that. He just does things like this to spite the family."

"And can you blame him?" Andromeda mumbled. She stemmed Narcissa's outrage only a little by adding, "I mean, Walburga isn't exactly a cauldron full of amorentia, is she? Actually, I'm vaguely surprised she didn't show up at the castle herself to terrorize the Gryffindor's this morning. Merlin knows Sirius won't hear the end of this."

Almost as if on cue, there was a flutter above as the morning post arrived. At the Gryffindor table, Sirius was bombarded with letter after letter, the entirety of which, Narcissa knew, would not be congratulatory.

A particularly vicious looking owl delivered a flame red envelope that could be nothing but a Howler. Andromeda had closed her eyes upon seeing the letter while Narcissa winced in anticipation. Sirius, on the other hand, appeared to be laughing as he waved the letter around to his friends.

"See, they do care! They're aren't upset at all; even took the time to buy Gryffindor colored stationary," Sirius was shouting.

Narcissa buried her face in her hands. Sirius was perhaps the only person who could rival Bella when it came to making a spectacle of oneself.

But as Sirius waved the Howler around like a victory flag, it suddenly began to smoke profusely and seemed to open on its own accord.

Instinctively, Narcissa and Andromeda clapped their hands over their ears, bracing themselves for the shrill cries of their aunt. They were surprised then, when it was not Walburga's voice they, and probably the rest of the castle, heard. It was Bella's voice, magnified to an alarming level, even for her.

"-DISGRACED THE WHOLE FAMILY, SIRIUS, YOU UNGRATEFUL, MISERABLE, PATHETIC EMBARRASSMENT! IF YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO CARRY ON WITH SUCH FILTH, I HAVE LOST ANY DESIRE TO CALL YOU MY OWN BLOOD. MY ONLY RELIEF IS THAT YOU HAVE AT LEAST SAVED THE HOUSE OF SALAZAR SLYTHERIN THE HUMILIATION OF YOUR IMPENDING FAILURE."

As the letter burst into flames, Narcissa could imagine the same fire burning fiercely in her Bellatrix's eyes when she'd heard the news. Her words seemed to resonate in the silence that followed. Narcissa was comforted, in a strange way, by her sister's voice. With Bellatrix's presence, there was a sense of security and safety; nothing would change their perfect world, because Bella wouldn't let it change. Andromeda's presence was exactly the opposite in that there was always possibility, whether good or bad, and then the requirement to make of a situation what you could. But even as she sat next to Andromeda, staring at her in a hope to glimpse a part of Bellatrix, Narcissa saw no opportunity in the present situation.

Time eventually thawed. James Potter appeared to crack a joke and Sirius laughed a little too loudly, people went back to their chatter, though more disjointedly than before. Narcissa didn't notice the letter in front of her until Andromeda nudged her.

"Don't fuel the lions' pride by staring at them," Andromeda sniffed in an out of taste, but nevertheless accurate, impersonation of their mother.

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "I wasn't staring…" she mumbled with a twinge of annoyance. "Just sizing them up."

"What?" Andromeda asked with a slight laugh.

Narcissa gave a tiny smile. "Just something Bella taught me…"

Andromeda wasn't paying attention to Narcissa in any case. She had ripped open her own letter swiftly, her eyes darting across the glistening cursive of the letter. Narcissa knew her letter was also from Bella, but as Andromeda stared at her own letter with something like tears in her eyes, Narcissa had little desire to read of anymore sadness.

But she couldn't help but ask Andromeda.

"Nothing," Meda replied quickly. "Just Bella being stupidly stubborn, angry, irrational, passionate, wonderful Bella."

In other words, Andromeda didn't care to tell Narcissa what Bella disclosed in the letter. But she could guess enough as Andromeda's face turned slightly ashen as Sirius left the Great Hall alone. Immediately, Andromeda sprung up and hurried after him. Regretting the unfortunately low level of class her family was displaying this morning, Narcissa hurried after them. When she found them, Andromeda had pulled Sirius into an abandoned classroom; they were, to Narcissa's surprise since Andromeda had been rather lenient towards Sirius previously, in an argument.

"What are you trying to do, Andy?" Sirius was shouting. "I thought it wouldn't matter to you."

Andromeda's cheeks flared red as Sirius's robes as she shot, "Of course it matters to me! You think I don't care that the entire castle's been buzzing with nothing but how the Black family is falling apart? Maybe I don't care that the girl's in my own dormitory snickered as I walked in for bed last night when they once respected me? Do you think it went unnoticed by me that my sister is obviously upset and it's all your fault?"

Sirius's face was incredulous. "I just thought that at least you wouldn't be furious at me. That maybe you'd realize everybody else is yelling at me, so you might not."

Andromeda breathed in slowly, though she was clearly affronted as she said, "Sirius, you know I love you and I'm not your mother. But you're treating this matter as if it's nothing. I'm not saying that you being sorted into Gryffindor is necessarily the worst thing that could happen-"

Narcissa made an obvious noise of disagreement which Andromeda dismissed with an irritated wave of her hand.

"Cissy, if you can't think of anything worse, just ask Bella to give you some ideas," she said as an aside, then turned her attention back to Sirius. "But you've got to realize that this… well, this is just…"

"Horrible."

Sirius glared at Narcissa, but she leveled him with a stare she had picked up from Bellatrix.

"I was going to say monumental," Andromeda differed carefully. "In fact, I'd say you're lucky that Bellatrix didn't arrive at the castle herself this morning."

"The morning isn't over yet, so I'm not ruling it out."

Andromeda rolled her eyes, but there was a twinge of amusement playing at her lips.

"And my stupid mother woke up my whole House in the middle of the night when I got her howler, so don't think you're going to say anything that she hasn't already said to me."

"Sirius!" Andromeda pleaded, all amusement vanished, "I told you I'm not trying to be like your mother. I'm just-"

"Just what?" Sirius demanded. "You aren't making any sense. What? Do you think you're big bad Bella now? She's not here to terrorize the castle and make lives miserable- guess you had to step in and fill her shoes. You look so much alike but I thought that you at least had a heart, Andy."

Andromeda looked beyond furious. She stepped towards Sirius, her wand suddenly in her hand. He was tall for his age, but Andromeda was taller and she glared down upon him with anger that Narcissa rarely saw in the middle sister.

"Do not talk about Bella like that," she hissed, pressing her wand into his chest.

Though concerned, Narcissa was quite sure that Andromeda would not harm her favorite cousin and Sirius seemed to think the same thing as he laughed in her face.

"Ha! Going to prove my point?"

Andromeda lowered her wand suddenly, looking at it with growing mortification.

"I would never, Sirius. I'm sorry," she muttered this hurriedly and quietly.

Bellatrix would have, Narcissa thought bitterly. And it would have done Sirius some good for all of his cheekiness.

"Yeah… I know you're not like that," Sirius muttered.

"I told you to stop talking about my sister," Andromeda said lowly.

"You're still going to defend her?"

"She is my sister, Sirius. Yes."

"The lunatic sent me a howler? Who does she think she is? It's not like she's the bloody heir of Slytherin!"

"She's a Black, isn't she?" Narcissa snarled. While Andromeda's anger flashed in and out, conflicted with her affection towards her little cousin, Narcissa's was a constant state of disgust.

"And our sister, Sirius," Andromeda repeated quietly.

"What? You guys are as ridiculous as her! Are you really going to tell me Bella didn't mean anything by it? That she sent me a Howler as a joke? Or that by 'you pathetic embarrassment' she really meant 'I love you; have a good term'?" Sirius roared.

Andromeda actually took a step back, torn between wanting to defend Bella once more and comfort her cousin. "Sirius, you know how Bella is, she just got upset and-"

"Went completely mental? No, Andy, she'd never say something if she didn't mean it," he spat.

Though Bellatrix often spoke when she should have held her tongue, Narcissa thought, for the most part, that when it mattered, Bella's thoughts were sound.

"You know how much our family means to her," she said pointedly.

Sirius snorted derisively. "How are you so stupid, Narcissa? Bella doesn't love the family at all. She loves the title, the blood, and the power. She doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself."

The words struck Narcissa like a stinging sensation, even if she knew it wasn't true.

"That's a lie and you know it, Sirius," Andromeda snapped, looking furious. "Why do you think she got so upset in the first place? She cares about you."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Bella just doesn't want anyone ruining the precious reputation of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black," Sirius said in a mocking tone. "She's afraid that people will start talking about how weak our bloodline's become. And her over enlarged ego won't be able to handle that sort of question to her supremacy."

"Sirius, be fair, Bella's ego is no worse than the rest of the family's."

"Like that's supposed to be a comfort?"

Narcissa didn't understand Sirius sometimes. "Sirius, what's wrong with having an ego if you've got a proper reason for it?"

"But the family doesn't."

"We do," Narcissa snarled. "And you aren't so modest yourself, I might add."

"Fine, fine, sure, whatever," Sirius said, throwing his hands up in the air. "But your sister is the worst of the disease…"

"Disease?" Andromeda asked, looking vaguely amused even as Narcissa's anger only mounted.

"Yeah! Like she has a fever, mad, reckless, angry. All the time."

"You know there's more to Bella than that, Sirius," Andromeda noted coldly.

"She doesn't love me," he argued simply.

"Well," she faltered. "If that's the case, it's only because she sees too much of herself in you."

Sirius laughed wildly. "Yeah. Bellatrix Black, pride of the family, cousin of the disgrace Sirius Black, who doesn't even deserve the last name."

"You don't." The words left Narcissa's mouth before she had time to register what they meant.

Sirius's face was blank and he stared back at Narcissa. She wanted to break the gaze, but something prevented her. The breath that had caught in Andromeda's throat made the air dangerous, explosive.

Finally, Sirius lit the flame.

His face lost its pallor as he broke. "Well I don't want the name of a bunch of blood crazy freaks anyway!"

Andromeda tried to grab his sleeve as Sirius stormed from the room, but in vain. Tears slipped down Andromeda's face as she drew in an unsteady breath. Narcissa stared at her sister, wishing once more for Bellatrix. Bella had always been the one to comfort Andromeda, in a way that Narcissa could never equal. With Sirius's disappearance, the letter in Narcissa's hand grew heavier, demanding to be opened; she needed Bella's darkly accurate wisdom. But she had barely ripped open the letter when Andromeda's hand shot out to clasp her own unexpectedly.

"No," Andromeda said harshly. "Not now."

"Wha-"

"We'll be late to class," Andromeda explained, an uncharacteristic amount of curtness in her voice.

The thought was strangely foreign to Narcissa, as if it came from another world entirely. Somehow, it didn't seem possible that such normality as classes could go on when Sirius was tearing the family apart.

Andromeda drew in another shaky breath as she wiped her eyes. "They'll talk if we're late… whisper about our family crumbling and all that. And we've… got to be above that, I suppose. That's what Bella would say. She'd just laugh haughtily in their faces and say 'it's not the first time this has happened, maybe it won't be the last; our blood line is still purer than yours'."

"But it is the first time one of our family hasn't been sorted into Slytherin!" Narcissa whined, frustrated with her sister. Andromeda was overly hopeful; Bellatrix would never have confronted disrespect with such indifference.

Andromeda sighed wearily. "You know what I meant."

"No, I don't."

"Never mind," she said quietly.

"But you're suggesting that he'll be the next one to go," Narcissa accused, looking for an outlet for her anger and finding only her sister.

"N-no… he just…" Andromeda winced, her argument suddenly run out.

Tears escaped her eyes more fervently this time, causing Narcissa's heart to jolt.

"He just… can't." Sometimes, Narcissa realized, Andromeda loved Sirius far too much for her own good.

Narcissa stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Andromeda with more certainty than she felt. "You've lived with Bella how many years and you're crying?" Narcissa teased softly. "Don't you know that's a sign of weakness? Weren't you just saying that if Bella was here-"

"You're right," Andromeda replied quickly, drying the tears from her cheeks. She forced a look of harsh, untouchable disdain; directed, as Narcissa knew it should be, to anyone and everyone below the name of Black. "No weakness. We can't disappoint Bella."

Thus, Narcissa pushed away the thought of Sirius's folly. Narcissa pushed away the image of Andromeda, too much of a bleeding heart. Narcissa pushed away the whispers of the decline of their ancient family. The only voice she allowed to consume her mind was that of Bellatrix. Bellatrix, who always knew, whose pride was so strong the loudest laughter didn't trouble her.

Narcissa nodded. "We're Blacks; let them dare laugh."

And oh, if they dare… Narcissa could hear Bella seethe from how many miles away. It gave her resolve enough to face the school with a hardened sneer. Bella's words had that affect because they so reflected her way of thinking, fear or be feared. And, in the case of blood and politics, Narcissa didn't mind following her sister's wisdom at all. Bellatrix was the only voice of reason as change tore Narcissa's family apart.

Author's Note: All I can say is that... I really missed you guys. Hope you enjoyed it, as many of you requested a Sirius chapter. Thank you for your continued reading/reviewing/awesomeness. :)