Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter series.
Dedication: Either eleven months late or one month early, a birthday present for my Cissy, xoxcrescentmoonxox.
Aging
Narcissa pressed a pale finger against the window as she traced the path of the raindrops that trailed down the glass. Stifling a sigh, she gazed out at the garden, made droopy and dreary with the shower. The blonde silken hair she had worked hours on, trying to elevate beyond its usual perfection, now hung in damp strands around her face. It would have been easy enough to charm it dry and back into position, but Narcissa didn't even have the motivation to do that. She felt empty. Or maybe it was just the once foreign feeling of disappointment.
The door behind her opened and Narcissa regretted not having locked it properly. Heels clicked slowly across the red mahogany floor. She felt the stare on the back of her head, but refused to turn around. For once, Narcissa did not want to face her mother. She knew her mother's disappointment would read only as unforgiving, not sympathetic.
But the arm that slid around Narcissa's waist did not belong to her mother. Bella's dark curls pressed into Narcissa's cheek as she rested her chin on Narcissa's shoulder.
"Cissy," she said in a voice so soft Narcissa almost mistook it for- but she wasn't going to think about that.
But even as she tried to repress memories of her estranged sister, a small sob escaped her and tears slid down her cheek.
"Narcissa!" Bella laughed gently, "You are not crying over a spoiled tea party."
Narcissa wiped her eyes half-heartedly as she mumbled, "It wasn't a tea party, Bella."
Bellatrix grabbed Narcissa's wrist and spun her into a hug.
"Ok, a birthday party, sorry," Bella teased.
"Coming of age," Narcissa muttered into her sister's shoulder.
Bellatrix scoffed, "So you're upset that you're one measly year older?"
"No!" Narcissa almost shouted, trying to break out of Bella's embrace. "You know exactly why I'm upset!"
At this, Bellatrix took a step back from Narcissa, staring at her calculatingly.
"Do I?"
Bella was testing her. Narcissa knew it, so she replied with a half truth, a shrug.
"Is it because the rain ruined your dress?" Bellatrix teased with mock sympathy.
Narcissa shrugged away from Bella, instead stepping closer to the large window.
"Stop it, Bella," she mumbled, hugging her arms to her chest. "It's not funny anymore. Nothing's funny anymore."
Rain pattering on the roof filled the silent room as the words sank deeper than Narcissa had meant them. But the truth remained. Laughter was for the lighthearted, young, and unbroken; those who could possibly gain no more but never fathomed losing everything. Suddenly, she felt very old. Narcissa couldn't remember the last time she had held any desire to laugh freely. Even more frightening was Bellatrix's mirthless existence. It seemed Narcissa saw less and less of her sister, and when she did, Bella only snapped. Narcissa missed the sound of Bella's unhindered, unrestrained laughter. Perhaps it wasn't gone, Narcissa supposed, she just didn't know how to bring it back.
"That's not true," Bella remarked after consideration, "The hat Aunt Walburga was wearing was pretty laughable, I thought."
"Something that probably should have remained a thought," Narcissa noted, almost smiling.
Bellatrix shrugged. "Somebody had to tell her it looked like Aunt Elladora's finest masterpiece. She might have taken it as a compliment, at least."
"I wouldn't have," Narcissa grumbled, absentmindedly fixing a string of hair back into place.
"You don't take anything I say as a compliment," Bella noted wisely.
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Considering the minimal amount of praise you hand me, I hardly think that's my fault."
Narcissa saw, out of the corner of her eye, Bellatrix's mouth form a half-smile. "You don't listen close enough, then, Narcissa."
"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Narcissa asked wryly.
Bella chuckled; a soft glint of what could have been affection in her eyes. "You're proving my point, Cissy."
Narcissa considered this only briefly before her thoughts wandered back to the abandoned party.
"It was going to be perfect," Narcissa murmured, hands cold against the rain-splattered glass.
Despite her better judgment, Narcissa remembered the glorious celebrations she had imagined as a child yearning to be seventeen. She thought of Bella's coming of age party, full of laughter and impropriety. She thought of, even though she told herself not to, Andromeda's, full of proposal anxiety, yes, but at least full of sisters. Then Narcissa thought of the present, full of rain and lacking guests.
"You do realize why those people didn't come, don't you?" Narcissa demanded, the scent of scandal a cruel perfume in the air.
"You're really so upset about a smaller guest list?" Bella questioned with sincerity.
Narcissa shrugged, then she shook her head. "No… I don't care about the fifty or so people that didn't come. It's only one less guest that bothers me."
Bellatrix froze, turned away from Narcissa.
"Don't…" she finally muttered.
"But, I can't help it, Bella," Narcissa finally whimpered, tears returning to her eyes.
Bellatrix's mouth twitched dangerously, but then she breathed deeply. "Not now, Cissy," she said, raising a finger to brush away a tear from Narcissa's cheek. "Your coming of age party is not the place."
"You sound like Mother," Narcissa whined, unable to stop the flow of tears now.
Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "I might just hit you for that one."
Narcissa's attempt at a smile was in vain, her lips quivering as she managed, "Good. Stop being nice to me. If Meda were here you two would be teasing me mercilessly."
Narcissa regretted saying anything as Bellatrix's eyes flickered vulnerably. "Well," Bellatrix said tersely, "Andromeda isn't here, so I guess you'll have to deal with me being nice to you."
Narcissa looked away from her sister to stare into the dreary garden.
"Besides, I'm only being nice to you because it's your birthday."
"Oh, this is nice, is it?"
Narcissa tried to chuckle, then sniffed, blinking rapidly.
Bellatrix's arms found their ways around Narcissa's middle once more.
"You're such a spoiled brat," Bella teased. Sometimes, Narcissa thought that harshness towards others was the only way Bellatrix dealt with her emotional problems. But Narcissa would be a liar if she said she truly minded Bella's constant jeering. It made Bella's lighter moments so much more overwhelming.
Half possession and half a hug, Bella rocked Narcissa left and right, her breath even and warm against Narcissa's ear.
"I won't think about it if you don't think about it," Bella cooed, her voice barely a whisper. "Please, Cissy, just for today. You deserve to be happy today."
Narcissa smiled weakly. "Think about what?"
The unanswered question gave way to a million more unasked questions in Narcissa's mind. Why should Andromeda deserve to haunt Narcissa's coming of age with dreariness and what ifs? The traitor had left almost three years ago, and yet Narcissa and Bella still danced around the subject. Narcissa found the memory of her estranged sister waiting amongst the shadows of forbidden thoughts. Bellatrix, so paranoid into forgetting, seemed to hear Andromeda's name at the faintest suggestion of disloyalty. Why did any small sadness ultimately escalate into grief over the fallen sister? It wasn't fair that Andromeda should win.
Bella's shadow of a smile was the light that pulled Narcissa from the darkness of her questions and worries. Narcissa took a breath. She wouldn't let Andromeda's memory win today. Narcissa had her birthday and Bella. Happiness was mandated.
"Come on," Bella said, pulling Narcissa through the glass door.
"Bella, it's pouring!"
Narcissa found her admonishment lost in a fit of giggles as she attempted to protect herself from the deluge of water spilling from the clouds. Bella tilted her head back and opened her mouth as if to swallow the sky whole. As if to mock her, the heavens began to open, and a tiny peak of sunshine warmed the lessening raindrops.
Narcissa lifted the bottom of her dress away from the damp ground. Bella kicked away her heels and kicked puddles at Narcissa.
"Stop," Narcissa laughed, shuffling from Bella's reach.
But Bellatrix hurried to catch up, to splash more water on Narcissa's pretty gown.
"Make me."
"I just might."
"You could even use magic, now," Bella noted, sticking out her tongue.
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Bella, we hardly needed to wait until we were seventeen to use magic outside of school; as if Father would report us to the Ministry."
Bella grinned. "Doesn't legality kill all the fun?"
"Besides," Narcissa said. "I don't need magic to beat you."
She shoved Bellatrix into a wet rosebush.
Bella shrieked in surprise. "Cissy!"
Narcissa smirked as Bella scowled, untangling thorns from her dampened hair.
"This is what I get for being nice to you, excellent," Bella muttered.
Narcissa had more than enough replies for this, but chattering teeth prevented a true retort. So she settled on looping her arm through Bella's, resolving differences in the favor of warmth.
They walked through the dripping garden, Narcissa listening and Bellatrix rambling about the many benefits of being of age.
After she concluded an elaborate and, Narcissa guessed, completely fabricated explanation of what actually went on in the late hours at the Leaky Cauldron, Bella said, "Oh! And apparating- that will be handy."
"Uh," Narcissa said, "You know I don't like apparating."
"It's cleaner than Floo Powder," Bella noted.
Narcissa shrugged. They meandered through the flowers at an easy pace. Narcissa let her hand trail across shrubbery and petals. Bella had found a fallen branch amongst the rainstorm's debris, and she wielded the stick like a sword, slashing lazily through the air at innocent buds.
"I suppose I'll start planning my wedding soon."
Bella made a noise of repulsion.
"Laugh now and just see if you get an invitation."
Indeed, Bellatrix did laugh, as though attending her little sister's wedding was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. Something in the callousness of this joke reminded Narcissa of an earlier fear.
In the silence that followed Bella's laughter, Narcissa found herself asking, "You forgot about my birthday, didn't you?"
Bellatrix stopped walking and looked at her sister. She frowned.
"Why do you think that?" She sounded hurt.
"Because I know you have a lot on your mind, and. I guess I was afraid you might," Narcissa said. Sometimes I think remembering your duty makes you forget about me, she thought.
"Is this about presents? Because I definitely got you something if you think I didn't."
"How shallow do you think I am?" Narcissa demanded.
"How shallow do you think I am?" Bellatrix countered with a raised eyebrow. "Forget my own sister's birthday?"
Relief overtook any guilt Narcissa felt from asking the initial question.
"But, now that you've mentioned my inadequacies, let me show you what a delightfully dismal present I've bought you."
They hurried from the garden as another wave of rain unleashed itself.
"Open your eyes," Bella said as she pressed a richly wrapped box into Narcissa's hands.
The green paper slid from the box at Narcissa's touch, and the box too opened on its own accord. Narcissa examined the present. Outlined in silver, shadowed images loomed before Narcissa's eyes. She wondered if Bella was deliberately mocking her in getting something that looked so much like a mirror, but had such an apparently opposite use.
"It's a Foe-Glass," Bella explained. "So you'll always know when your enemies are near."
"But, Bella, that's what you're for."
"'Thank you' would not kill you."
Narcissa hoped her sister was only pretending to be offended. She shouldn't have expected anything but practical and slightly scary from Bella. But still, the image of floating enemies worried Narcissa. The need for such a gift seemed to suggest that war was just as close as Bella hinted. She felt Bella's scrutinizing gaze, and Narcissa was silently thankful that, if war came, she would be on the same side as Bellatrix.
"Thanks, but I hope I won't have to use it too often," Narcissa said.
Bella gave a short, unsurprised laugh. "I only hope you know what to do in the event that you do have to use it."
"Again," Narcissa replied, "that's what you're for, Bella."
Bellatrix laughed off the comment, but Narcissa saw the pride that glimmered in her sister's dark eyes.
"Oh, and I got you something else… just because I know practical gifts aren't quite to your taste," Bella teased gently.
With nimble fingers, Bella unclasped the necklace she had been wearing. She slipped the chain around Narcissa's neck and fastened the catch.
"Is it cursed?" Narcissa asked, only half joking, because with Bellatrix, curses were always a possibility.
Bella smiled, letting the necklace slide from her fingers to rest just below Narcissa's collarbone. "Only with my affections, Cissy," she said.
Bella kissed Narcissa's cheek with a smile. "Happy Birthday."
There was an unspoken moment of tenderness between the sisters, wherein Narcissa felt young and old and timeless all at once. Together, they rejected the laws of time. Besides, a birthday meant nothing compared to the moments that led up to the next turn of the hourglass.
Bella broke the silence, as she always did. "You've been a dreadful hostess, you do realize. You ran away before anybody had the slightest chance to congratulate you. Father still wants to announce you, though."
Her dress heavy with rainwater, Narcissa felt an unexpected flutter of nerves.
"We look a mess, Bella! I cannot face society looking like this."
"Narcissa Black, you are society. Besides, the only way to stop the poison whispers of a scandal is to cause a bigger scandal."
That was exactly the sort of philosophy Bellatrix employed, so Narcissa rejected it on principle. Even if there was a bit of truth to the statement.
Narcissa would have protested further, but she heard her father calling her from below, and something in Bella's eagerness captivated Narcissa.
"Oh let the lesser mortals caw!" she exclaimed with an unfamiliar air of abandonment. "If I'm truly above them, then I can do no wrong."
And because her coming of age couldn't be less perfect, Narcissa sauntered from her room, seventeen and unafraid.
With her nose upturned, Narcissa waited for her father to announce her name, to make known her witchery. Narcissa stood at the top of the spiraling staircase, Bella beside her, and the rest of the world below her.
Author's Note: One of these days, I promise to stop with the Meda angst. If all goes as planned, the next chapter could be rather humorous to combat these heavy emotions. Reviews are appreciated!