Karkat sighed, running a hand through his hair. Fuck, he didn't know anymore what to do. Sollux had seemed kind of miffed, and that meant his other friends were going to be pissed too. He was going to have to do something, but he wasn't sure how to phrase it or what to do.
There was the issue with Gamzee, too. Sure, he was fine as of late, but Karkat seemed to be slacking off in that quadrant. He wanted to be sure he could move out and calm him down without risking the consequences. There was only one person on his side, and Karkat knew that they weren't ready to confront anyone yet.
Fuck, there was Terezi now.
[gallowsCalibrator has begun trolling carcinoGeneticist]
GC: H3Y NUBBY
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
GC: S1R C4NDY'S L3G 1S F4LL1NG OFF.
GC: F1X 1T FOR M3!
CG: YOU'RE SO NEEDY
CG: YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO GIVE ME SO MUCH COMPENSATION.
GC: SO YOU'LL F1X H1M?
CG: YEAH.
GC: GOOD.
GC: 1'LL G1V3 YOU 4LL TH3 R3DROM.
CG: OF COURSE. HOW CAN YOU NOT?
GC: H3H3H3
CG: I AM JUST SO HANDSOME EVERY TROLL AND THEIR FUCKING QUADRANT FRIENDS TURNED FLUSHED FOR ME WHEN I WALK IN.
"Yes, you smell delicious!"
Karkat spun in the chair, raising an eyebrow. Not that Terezi could see. He was getting pretty used to her visiting. She clacked over to his seat, leaning down with a grin and placing the damaged crab on his desk. "I mean handsome!"
She gave a laugh, and he shoved her back. "You know that's almost entirely creepy."
"Only almost?" Terezi frowned, leaning back a bit.
"Sorry, have to work harder Terezi," he grumbled, trying to get to his feet. She pushed him back into the chair. He gave her a scowl.
The thoughts still clashed through his mind, however. She was the only one who ever visited. She was the only one who could visit.
He cleared his throat. Focus. "Get that creepy factor up. Not enough wrigglers fleeing from you yet. Gotta make them vomit their fucking airsacks up in fear the moment you sniff in their direction."
"What if I licked you as I said it, hmm?" Terezi continued to lean down, her face hovering very close to his. Shit. Karkat felt his aeordic beatpump begin to pound. "Well, I'll have to settle with making you uncomfortable instead!"
A moment later her hand was tracing the hem of his shirt. Karkat tried to stuff himself further back into the chair, and that provoked another laugh.
"Oh gog, no, okay. You win. That suggestion was pretty much the icing on the cake that is your creepiness."
"Too late!" she ran a hand across his chest. He shivered. "I wonder what I should do to you!"
She gave a cackle, practically on top of him. Half of him wanted to smack her for it, but in reality he didn't want to move. She was getting a bit aggressive, but he couldn't complain really. He composed his face a second later. Can't let her know what he's thinking.
"No, it is not fucking too late! You are not doing your creepy licking shit to me or anything else that will somehow make worse the fact you think I am something edible!"
"Hmm," Terezi drilled her fingers into his chest. "Then maybe I will touch your scars!"
"Or, you could, you know. Stop molesting me." She had wormed a hand up in his shirt, but he smacked it away. She finally plunked her ass down on his legs, shifting around a bit. Fucking hell she was distracting in every way.
As it was, she was laughing and giggling her way, pressing her forehead briefly against his. "Silly nubby, of course that is not an option!"
"Pretty sure that's the kind of thing you prosecute people over. You know, constantly fucking feeling people up?" Again, her hand was up his shirt. What an idiot she was being. Fucking hell.
A twang of guilt ran through him. Of course he could see Terezi. She didn't care. But fucking hell, there was the giant issue of his eyes, and his dreams, and his friends...he rubbed his eyes a bit. Terezi was talking.
"That is them, this is me!" she giggled.
"Yeah, you're even more annoying."
Her face was super close again, and he felt heat rise to his cheeks. Stupid Terezi. Stupid feelings.
"You say that, but I smell cotton candy!"
"I am going to break your nose off and stuff it in your fucking hearing holes," Karkat murmured, pinching the female troll's nose.
"Embarrassed?"
"More like, so full of rage, that the blood is rushing to my head to help me think of a better way to make you fucking pay."
She grabbed his hands. "Aww, it is cute that you think it is possible for you to win!"
She gave his forehead a brief kiss, and his scowl only deepened. Of course he could enjoy this. Because there was no guilt with her, only with leaving all his other friends because of his blood. They were wasting time. It was pissing him off.
"You're the one who's always on my bulge about beating you, you creepy ass dragon fetish shit head," he snapped. With that he gave a small struggle, trying to get away from her. It failed.
"Just because I think you should, it doesn't mean I think you can!" She pressed her face right near his ear, giving a soft chuckle. It was infuriating having her this close when he was pissed. It made him almost forget the fact there was something wrong. "That's why you need to work hard!"
"You're just so impossible," he growled, pressing his forehead against her shoulder for a second.
"Yes I know! It is fun." Again, she laughed. He felt her move against him, and she eventually slid a hand up his shirt as well. For a moment, he did nothing. But it was wrong. They shouldn't be doing this.
"It...is really fucking annoying, actually," Karkat muttered.
Terezi leaned back, giving him a puzzled look and pulling away her hands. "Nubby, did you have another bad dream?"
That wasn't why he was upset, no. But he still didn't have the words to phrase what they had to do. Hell, how could he tell her that they needed to stop this? To stop seeing each other? Sure, though. He always had bad dreams. Karkat gave a sigh.
"When am I not having bad dreams?"
"Does idiot need a hug?" Her voice was softer, and she her palm against his forehead. She almost looked worried. It was cute. Her lips were forming a small pout.
Karkat caved.
"Why do you even need to ask, you stupid shit?"
She awkwardly embraced him. After all, she was still sitting on him on a fucking chair meant for one troll. But it was the thought that counted, and he did like the warmth it brought.
"I thought you'd whine again if I didn't," she replied at length, giving him a last squeeze before she rose to her feet. She stretched for a moment, flashing him a toothy grin.
"Of course I would," Karkat replied, glancing over the crab that Terezi had dropped earlier as the female troll laughed. It was in need of a bit of repairs after all. The stitches were wearing away, though it was hard to tell why.
He glanced over again. Terezi was poking around his room, looking for colours probably. There was a bit more in there now - but probably not enough to please her. But she seemed contented, if not curious at the very least. Hell, he was going to regret whatever he was going to do today, he just knew it.
Especially after he crossed the room to kiss her. It was short, sweet, and Terezi completely dominated it. And he didn't even care.
"Nubby, when you feel bad, just talk to me!" she insisted. "And I will laugh at you! It will be beautiful."
"I don't wanna just dump shit on you," he divulged, moving stray pieces of her hair back into place. It was addicting. He was going to miss it.
Once he finished, she shook her head, ruining his work. Of course. "Stupid nubby. That is what I am here for. I told you, I'll make all the bad things go away."
"I dunno, it just feels so lopsided," Karkat grumbled. There was no good way of going about this talk, but at least it was better than just fucking banishing her. Which was what was going to have to happen. "All my life is shit and you're just stuck with it."
Terezi seemed to mull the fact over for a bit, before fidgeting around with some of his stuff. Blind troll or not, she seemed to be obsessed with what everything felt like in his hive. In a few moments, she had gathered her thoughts.
"It is okay. I am perfect, so it balances out!" Another toothy grin and a laugh. It made Karkat feel a bit better.
"Yeah, at least I can give you delicious red shit," he replied.
"Exactly! So just tell me when you have bad feelings and we will fix them!"
"I will."
"Good nubby. Have you stopped freaking out now?"
The female troll had crossed the room, and ran her hands over his face. He took it, but wasn't pleased. She continued to linger her hands on his face, and he knew it was just to annoy him. Finally he swatted them away.
"Pretty much."
"Good!" she gave his cheek a harsh pinch. "Just trust me and it will be okay!"
Again, Karkat resorted to violence, slapping the hand away. But that irritated him. "Why the shit wouldn't I trust you? Way to say something incredibly stupid."
Because, really, that did tick him off. Of course he trusted her on everything. Hell, that was the reason he was not presently running around, telling trolls willy nilly or holed up in a pit. Fucking hell.
But Terezi didn't seem too pleased either. "That kind of thinking is why you need me."
"Why, because your blatant idiocy balances my wit?"
"Because you trust really easily..." Terezi trailed her voice off, biting her lip lightly. Karkat lost it.
"Do you just want me to cut off all ties?" he yelled, taking a step towards her. He glared at her, despite it making no difference at all. She didn't know what hell he was going through. Not seeing his friends. Never being sure if they were judging him. Who might already know. "Do you want me to be wary of every fucking troll I trusted played a shitty game? Even the ones you already said we can trust?"
"No, don't cut off ties!" Terezi interrupted, grabbing his shoulders. "Just be careful."
"Geez, please Terezi! Be more cryptic and vague about what you want me to do with my life. I await your orders," he spat.
She shook him. "Stupid!"
"Then just tell me!"
"Just be careful!" Fuck, Terezi was freaky when she was pissed. Karkat shrunk back a bit, but the female troll seemed to calm down. Her nails still dug into his skin through the sweater. "You are not a bad leader. But you don't know minds the way I do. Just be really cautious!"
"Of course I am. I will be extra fucking cautious just for you."
Terezi let go, wandering around his room, collecting a few stray objects and placing them elsewhere. Karkat watched her, curious. What the fuck was she even doing? But it seemed like there was something, and she finally paused over by the hideous red crab. Her fingers trailed over it for a moment.
"Nubby, I am really worried. So just, take this really slowly, okay? So that I have time to plan."
"I'm not doing anything without you. So, yeah. We can take this slowly," Karkat murmured, sitting down where he was standing. He knew it was coming. He'd have to tell her soon.
It got all too apparent he would when she sat down beside him, leaning her head against him. "I feel like I'm running out of time, but I can't think fast enough..."
"Terezi, it's okay. But..."
He hesitated.
"I think for a while, it'd be best not to see me. In person."
Terezi stiffened. "What?"
"It's just, argh!" he groaned, rubbing his eyes. "It's just that I'm sure Sollux and Gamzee and shit are wondering why I never visit. Especially since I am always seeing you. And we're not ready yet."
"Oh..." Terezi trailed off, and straightened. Karkat couldn't bear to look at her. He felt like shit. Why had he said it? Why hadn't he just kept his damn mouth shut?
Because he couldn't, and he knew it.
"If you think that is best, nubby, then okay," Terezi finally said.
"I think it's my only option left, Terezi."
"I understand!" she insisted, wrapping a hand around his. Finally, he looked over, and she was offering a slightly forced smile. But it was better than nothing.
"You're so fucking amazing, Terezi." Karkat kissed her forehead, earning a small laugh. He could do this sappy shit forever with her, even if the circumstances were awful.
"I'll figure this out fast! Then you won't have to worry anymore," Terezi reassured, looking at him as intently as a blind woman could.
"Thanks, Terezi."
"No problem!"
There was a careful pause, and she turned away. "So I guess I should leave soon?"
Fuck, that would be best, wouldn't it? But Karkat was already depriving himself of seeing her for a while, and, fuck, it didn't matter. She was there right now, and probably didn't want to leave. He wasn't going to reject her even more.
"No, I want you to stay. Just...just yeah. Don't leave."
"Okay!" she replied cheerfully. She gestured for him to turn, and he complied. Terezi pulled him backwards, so that he was resting the back of his head against her shoulder. She draped her arms around him, putting her chin against him.
Oh, hell, this was what he was going to miss. Along with all the teasing, the annoyances, and that damn laugh, he would miss those moments she would do incredibly sweet shit like this. He felt the rise and fall of her chest against him and relaxed.
He didn't know how long had passed, but after a while he felt the need to comment. "Hey, Terezi. I like this. Just, can we do this next time we can get together too?"
"Of course!"
He felt a faint smile tug at his lips. Even if this was their last reunion for a while, maybe it was okay.
"Nubby?"
"Yeah?"
"Make sure you go on Trollian every day, okay?"
He snorted. "Of course."
"Don't forget!" Terezi insisted, squeezing him a bit too tightly. He choked for a second before she loosened her grip.
"Is pupa going to miss me?" he teased, giving her a slight elbow in the gut. She replied by crushing his head with her hands until he swore profoundly, at which point she giggled and ceased the action.
"I am not! I am going to worry," she informed him.
Karkat sighed. Okay, he didn't need her worrying. Or, rather, he didn't want her to keep away if something was wrong. Shit, how to phrase it. "Terezi, shit, look. If you get scared, or worried, or any shit like that just, forget I said anything and come over, okay?"
"Stupid!" she yelled, pounding a hand into his leg. Karkat swore. That was not the reaction he had expected. "Just when I thought you had actually been thinking you threw it all away!"
Oh, she did not just accuse him of not thinking this situation out. He was trying to make sure that she could fucking come see him if something happened. What the hell, why the fuck was she so pissed?
"I'm not that fucking stupid! Just, this reminded me. Fuck, Terezi, I'm trying to keep an eye on you too!" If something went wrong with her, he was going to fucking be there for her. Karkat felt his heart move. He couldn't just leave her standing alone. Not when she had done so much for him.
"Reminded you of what?" Terezi pressed.
"I just want you to be alright, too," Karkat muttered. Fucking bulges that sounded so sappy.
"You are sweet, nubby. But I am strong! I will be just fine."
"I know, fuck off," Karkat replied, slouching down a bit further and leaning against her heavily again. "It's just gushy feelings talking to me, alright?"
"Thank you."
She pressed her face against the top of his head. "Candy apples are my favourite."
"For a good fucking reason!" he snapped. A thought occurred to him. "Hey, if my blood wasn't...red, then what would you say?"
"Hmm," Terezi drummed her fingers against his knee, pressing her forehead against his head. "That is hard to say! Because candy apples are my favourite...so maybe something else?"
What wonderful informative processing powers Terezi had. She would say something else. What a twist. "It was just a stupid question."
Terezi proceeded to list her ideas. Of course. "Grumpynubs are my favourite? Stupid leadertrolls are my favourite?"
This shockingly pissed him the fuck off. "Should have seen that coming. Just giving you the opportunity to slam me at every moment."
"Well you do make it easy for me!" She gave a laugh and Karkat thought about escaping. He began to shift forward, but she brought him even closer.
"But maybe," she continued, "if I ran out of things, I would be lame, and say I love you instead."
Karkat was momentarily stunned. Oh, hell. He liked hearing those words come from her. His heart pounded against his chest, and he felt a bit of heat rising to his cheeks. Fuck, calm down.
"Yeah, that'd be super lame."
"So lame!" Terezi agreed with a laugh.
Another comfortable lull. Karkat wasn't sure he was ever going to move, and it was just going to ruin the fact that his friends were all pissed off. They would never be ready at this rate.
She played with his sweater. Holy shit what was he even doing.
"Damn, Terezi. I really don't want to stop seeing you."
"It's okay, I will just work harder. Then it will be over faster!"
There was another long silence, and the two didn't do much of anything. For the most part, Karkat just wondered how the hell he had gotten so lucky, and what the fuck he had to do next. Get stronger. Be prepared for everything.
"I'm tired."
The voice cut through his thoughts. He shifted to glance up at the female troll. "Yeah? What do you want to do about it?"
"Is it okay if I stay here one last time?"
"Yeah, of course."
But he didn't know for sure if he should let her do that. He already didn't want her to leave, and she hadn't been there for that long. Okay, she had. Still, the idea of kicking her out now make him hate himself. Why the fuck had he agreed? Maybe he'd try and soften the eventual blow of kicking her out.
"Do you want a sweater?"
"Yes!"
Reluctantly, he shifted from her arms, to grab a new sweater from his wardrobe. He twirled the shirt in his hands before bringing it back to the female troll. He already missed sitting against her.
"Thank you nubby!" she said, holding the sweater in her hands. "You aren't getting this one back either!"
"What a twist," Karkat grumbled, shuffling his feet as Terezi pulled the sweater over her head. "You're probably going to smother it in chalk or some shit."
"No!" Terezi huffed. "That would ruin the smell!"
"What smell?"
Karkat didn't think it smelt like anything but black shit and clay or pavement or something. Really, what was she on about?
"Yours..."
Oh, wow. People breathe. That is something that trolls do, right? To stay alive. Yeah. Okay. No big deal, just a major fucking revelation and gog damn was that the most romantic thing ever?
And he was making her leave.
"Uh, yeah. Obviously," Karkat replied, trying to not sound happy and conflicted as he was. "Fucking hell I am going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too, nubby. I'll work hard so it won't be long."
He grunted a reply. Fuck, he had about a million feelings right then, and she wasn't helping much. He went around his room, gathering enough pieces to fix the damn crab, before sitting down and starting to sew. The female troll wandered over to watch, as well as she could.
It was enough to help clear his mind. She couldn't stay over. This shit had gone on long enough, and however much he regretted having to send her away there was no choice. He had to get strong and he had to take suspicion off himself. The last thing he needed was someone coming over without warning.
Well, at least he had learned to fix a crab at the very least. He tied off the thread, although it was black and completely contrasted the rest of the crab, and handed the stuffed shithead back at its owner. Terezi gave a faint smile, holding it close.
"Take better care of the shit I give you," Karkat muttered.
"I take good care of it!" Terezi insisted. "It is just my favourite."
Karkat glanced her over for a second. She did seem happy. Well, whatever. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted with the damn crab, as long as she liked it.
She proceeded to drop the crab in his lap. "Close your eyes, nubby. And don't open them until I say."
Where the fuck had that come from? He closed his eyes. "There."
In a few moments, her arms were around him. "Good." She kissed him on the lips, and he paused a split second before kissing her in return. Hell, she always was in charge of this. It was amazing. She was amazing.
It was far too soon when she drew back. "Don't move yet." Her hands moved over his face, earning a scowl. Stopping makeouts to feel him up again, what a shock. But warm metal brushed against his face, and a weight was against his nose.
Redglare's glasses.
Her lips lingered against his forehead, before she shifted to talk into his ear. "There. And if you break them, I will tear off your bulge with my bare claws and force feed it to you with your own sickle."
"What a pleasant image," he said dryly, digging his hands into her shirt and pulling her close. It was weird on the chair, yeah, but he wanted her close. "I do understand what this means to you, Terezi."
Everything was tinted red. How fucking disorienting. But he brought up his hands, smoothing her hair back. "Thank you."
"Nubby...thank you, too."
"I like your eyes," he said absentmindedly. He glanced over the frames to look at her more properly. They were red, yeah. But fuck if she wasn't gorgeous. It was an easy way to keep his mind off dismissing her.
"We match!" she said with a grin. "It is perfect."
He pulled her closer. "Terezi?"
"Yeah, Asspants Von Bulgetoucher?"
Their foreheads were touching. Her breath was against his face. She was so close. "You can't stay over. Fuck, I want you to. But you just...can't."
"I know."
Not at all what he had expected to hear. He paused. "I didn't mean to ask. It was an accident. I'm sorry," she continued, placing her face in the crook of his neck. Karkat gave a slight sigh. "I will go soon."
Well, that was a bit easier than he had expected. He ran his hands through her hair, even pausing to touch the base of her horns. Fuck if he wasn't going to milk this moment for all he could.
"I'll miss you," he finally whispered.
In a couple seconds her hands were twisted into his shirt, and fuck, she was too close. "Candy apples are my favourite."
Fucking hell, she had him in the palm of her hand. "Sit here. Just a little longer. Please."
"Yes."
They sat for a while, Terezi taking deep breaths against his skin. It was all kinds of wonderful and fucking hell, this troll was his entire life.
"Good nubby," he heard her muttering.
He curled a hand into her shirt, pressing his lips against her head, as well as he could. He felt the glasses press into her head, and drew back quickly. Hell, he wasn't used to them. But that would have to change.
"I love you."
"Then don't do anything stupid while we are apart."
That was just like her. Feelings swarmed inside of him, but in the end he gave a small laugh. "Idiot. I won't. I have to look after these fucking glasses."
"Yes!" Terezi replied. "They are important to me, so don't you dare let anything happen to them. If there is even a scratch, I will punish you."
"Guess it'd have to be something worse than biting," he prodded, again going back to playing with her hair. Like hell he'd admit he liked doing this, but it was going to be forever until they met again and he just wanted something to remember.
"Much worse." And there she was again, feeling his scars over. Typical fucking idiot. "These would look like scratches in comparison."
"Be careful, Terezi. You're going to counteract all your careful planning to save my life."
"I wouldn't let you die. That would be too easy. How would you learn?"
He wouldn't. Oh well.
"Sit back for a fucking moment."
She complied a bit reluctantly. "Is it time for me to leave?"
He lightly grabbed her cheeks. Hell, he could take the initiative sometimes. He pulled her face in close, pausing just before their lips touched. "Not yet, alright? I think I'm going to let you have a fucking going away present too."
"Oh? And what's that?" Her lips had stretched into a grin. There was a slight knot in his throat, but he swallowed it.
"Just fucking bite me already, you crazy bitch."
She shoved away his hands, crashing their lips together. But no, why would she bite him right away? Hell, hell she was infuriatingly addicting. It was almost a toss up between being fucking happy and hating her for not biting him.
Once she had tormented him enough with one thing, she bit down on his bottom lip. Pain ran through his face briefly.
"Shit," he breathed.
But her tongue was there in seconds, and fuck, he liked that feeling more than he should.
"I will miss this, too," Terezi informed him, pulling back.
Karkat touched his lip for a second, before staring into her red, red eyes. "I will too."
"You are adorable. I will work hard so that it won't take long. I promise." Terezi draped her arms around his back and gave a brief hug. He pressed his face against her shoulder for a second, and leaned back.
"You should...get going, Terezi."
"Yeah." Slowly, Terezi pulled herself off, taking the crab with her. Fuck, Karkat didn't even realize it was still there. "Thank you for fixing this."
"I'll do it again if you decide to rip off more limbs." The jab was half-hearted. Fucking hell he did not want to see her leave. He shuffled off the glasses, placing them carefully on the table. Even if it wasn't the longest goodbye, he wanted to be able to see her properly.
She gave a laugh. "Yes. Good nubby." She gave him a pat, fingers staying far too long in his hair. "Well, smell you later."
Fuck.
He jumped to his feet, grabbing her and pulling her in for one last kiss. It was brief, she was probably pissed, but fuck it. "Get out of here."
She flashed one final grin before disappearing. Karkat sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands for a moment. It was time to get shit done, he supposed.