A/N: Another big one. And seriously I intended for there to be more of a dance with Bobby and Alex in this story- but they insisted that it be more about how they would unfold along this path, so who am I to argue? Thanks again for all my reviews, I freaking love them, as usual.
Disclaimer: No Harm , no sue.
It felt like everything moved in slow motion after that – except me. I remember shouting as ESU entered the building upstairs, I remembered Emilio scrambling off of me, his breathing heavy and he was swearing. He tried to run, and I finally got to do what I had wanted to all night, felling him with a knee to the groin and a swift upper cut. The door burst open and several men ran down but it was a blur to me. I waited until he was cuffed before fleeing the scene. I pushed past the crowd, people grabbing and pushing, but I pressed past them. I heard my name more than once, but I didn't stop until I was outside in the fresh air, and able to lean over a trash bin, emptying the contents of my stomach. The liquor burned on the way back up too, and when I was finished, I slid down to the the cold concrete of the curb, my head on my knees and still feeling his hands on me. I shivered slightly, feeling the air hit my clammy skin in a refreshing way.
A coat fell over my shoulders and I looked up to see Carlos standing there with a sympathetic smile. "You all right Eames?" I rubbed a hand across my eyes with a laugh, and nodded before slowly standing up.
"Yeah- fine now. Um.." I searched for my purse, but realized I must have dropped it downstairs. "My bag- I put the coke in an evidence bag. It's in there but I must have dropped it in the basement-"
"We found it." Goren's voice issued from behind Carlos, and I glanced up at him. "You- you did great in there Eames. Shit- you would have convinced me if I hadn't known any better. Good job." He grinned, and I felt the adrenaline kick in again, my heart rate speeding back up again. Suddenly I felt wide awake and just bouncing off the walls, like a second wave of energy hit me. I grinned, nodding and watching them haul Emilio out of the club. He glared at me, and I waved with a smile.
"So what now?" I looked to Carlos, who laughed and shook his head.
"Now we go book the guy, and you go home, with our many, many thanks. Go get a shower and some sleep Alex. You'll need it." Carlos stepped away from me and I nodded numbly handing him back his coat. Walking over to the van with him, I grabbed my bag from inside, and reached in my shirt, ripping the tape away none too gently, and passing over the mic that had been strapped to me, along with the receiver.
"Want a ride?" A voice asked in my ear and I turned to see Goren there with a serious expression in his eyes. I frowned in response.
"Don't you need to be there? For booking? Interrogation?"
"The guys can handle it- it's not like I haven't done it before." He rubbed a hand up over the side of his head as he spoke, and glanced at the ground. "So- would you like a ride home?"
"Yeah- sure, I guess." He nodded at my unsure answer, and lead me over to a nearby ally where his car was parked.
"Still wired?" He glanced over as he unlocked my door and I nodded, sliding around him and onto the seat. When he got in the car, I answered.
"Yeah- I mean, it was odd right? Like I was strung so tight doing it- I was nervous and then after- it was like every ounce of energy drained out of me- but then-"
"It hit you again? Second wind- or adrenaline rush. It's not uncommon after high stress situations. But the nature of adrenaline is that it's temporary to give you enough of a rush to fight or flee and then wears out. So as much as you think you could be up for hours- in reality you'll crash in about an hour or so." I stared at him for a beat, listening to him with wonder.
"You have a lecture on it just filed away back there don't you?" I touched his forehead lightly as I spoke and he smiled.
"I try not to- to lecture, really."
"Must be hard sometimes, huh?" He grinned at my question and laughed slightly. I turned to the window, watching the street lights fly by in a blur as he drove quickly. Leaning my head against the glass, I felt the vibrations of the tires rotating on the pavement filter through my skin and hum through my body. I could feel myself calming down as it did so. It must have calmed me so much that I fell asleep, because next thing I knew, I felt a slight shake and a whispered 'Eames'.
"'lex." I mumbled, turning toward the source of sound, but keeping my eyes closed.
"Eames-"
"Alex." My voice was halfway between a moan and a whine now, and I felt a vibration and then heard a chuckle.
"Fine- Alex. You have to wake up- come on." I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dim light in the car rapidly and my senses becoming more and more alert as I did so. To things like the fact that there was something warm and soft under my head, and it happened to be Goren's shoulder. I froze for a moment, and I could distantly hear the thump of his heartbeat. It was a nice sound and I smiled, before sitting upright a moment later and rubbing my eyes.
"I'm awake- I'm awake." I muttered, more to convince myself than him and I heard his soft laughter. "Fine- you were right- adrenaline gone." I mumbled as my hand fumbled with the door handle to the right of me. His hands covered mine, stopping them.
"Really? Here, stay still, I'll get the door." There was a rush of cold air that hit my skin as he opened his door, and I blinked, more fully awake now. When he opened my door, the cold air seemed to smack me in the face. I took his hand and stepped out of the vehicle, and he leaned behind me to grab my bag. The door shut with a heavy metal thud, and I stood on the sidewalk for a moment, looking up at the dark sky.
"I love the fall. I wish we could see the stars though-" my voice was barely a whisper on the frigid night air, and I felt his hand, large and warm at my elbow.
"Me too- but it's freezing and you'll get sick if you stand around much longer in those clothes." I could feel him gently pulling me up the stairs and I smiled, following him. Once we got to the foyer, I dug in my bag for my keys, and somehow managed to open the door with them. The warm air hit us as we stepped into the foyer. I had thought he'd leave then- but somehow it didn't surprise me that he would walk me all the way to my door. He pulled me along with him, when I was plodding up the stairs muttering about fifth floor walkups.
"Come on Alex- what about keeping you in shape?" His voice teased as I finally reached my floor, and stood in front of my door, leaning against it as I tried in vain to get the keys in the door.
"I'm fine. And I swear my next apartment will be on the ground floor." He took the keys from my hand, and slid them into the deadbolts one by one. The door swung open under his deft hands almost effortlessly, and I glared at it before shrugging. Truthfully, I would probably swing open under those hands too. The thought sent a shiver across my skin, which suddenly seemed hyper sensitive. I felt every inch of his hand span as it rested against my back gently, pressing me forward. And unlike Emilio's hands, his didn't make my skin crawl, but rather I had a sudden urge to have them every where else on me. I could feel my skin tingle and warm under his touch, and irrationally I felt the urge to press myself back against him.
"You shouldn't say that Alex- ground floor apartments are-"
"Most likely to be robbed and or invaded. Yeah I got that lecture from my Dad. It's why he only approved the fifth floor apartment." I frowned, switching on the lamp by my door and a soft glow invaded the room, illuminating my sofa and desk, and almost reaching my bed in the far corner.
He nodded, glancing around, as if to check that the apartment is truly all right. I moved over to my sofa, sitting down and glancing around me, fully awake now. The short nap in the car had refreshed me, and I felt slightly edgy. "Hey, want some coffee?" I inquired and he laughed, tilting his head slightly as his eyes studied me. Those eyes made me feel a bit intoxicated as they traveled across my face.
"Aren't you out?"
"Shit. Yes- uh- tea? Water? Vodka? It's about all I have. I'm not big on groceries- or anything that involves more than boiling water- sorry." I shrugged and he walked over, sitting on the sofa next to me, his large frame taking up more than half of it.
"No- I'm fine. Do you need help with anything? You were half asleep back there- I don't want to just leave you." His damn eyes were again inspecting me and I grinned as a thought occured to me.
"Why, you want to help put me to bed Goren?" I giggled to myself, bending over to slid the zippers on my boots down. I eased my foot out and repeated the action a second time, before glancing up having realized he hadn't said anything. His eyes were watching my hands, his eyes slightly dark and I smiled to myself slightly.
"Bobby." His voice was a strangled whisper and I sat back up, turning to him in question. "Call me Bobby." I tucked my legs under me, relishing the feel of no shoes as I flexed my aching toes under me. He plucked one of my shoes from the floor, staring at it in wonder, his hand almost bigger than the sole of my boot. "They're so tiny. You're so tiny." He glanced over at me as he spoke and I smiled.
"I blame my Mom. My brothers? All over six feet- my dad too. But me and my Mom? Tiny. Even my sister managed somehow to be five eleven- the lucky whore. But me? No I get to be five foot two without heels, and I hate it." I sighed, leaning my head back as I spoke. "I can't reach the top shelf ever- so I have tons of unused shelf space- I get underestimated all the time-"
"Maybe that's a good thing though. Look at Emilio- he didn't perceive you as a threat because of his size. But you surprised him and got the upper hand. The element of surprise can be very useful- especially in our line of work-" I rolled my head to the right, watching as he spoke. He always seemed to be so sincere about everything he said. He would wave his hands, look you in the eye, make you feel like he meant every word. And maybe he did- I didn't really know, but I really really wanted to.
"Bobby-" I cut him off and he glanced at me in surprise. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my suddenly tense nerves. I felt off kilter, but not in a bad way, and I knew I didn't want him to leave. "What happens now?"
His brow furrowed and he studied me silently for a moment, as if giving serious weight to the question. I sat up straighter and leaned forward, watching him. "It's- what do you mean? What happens now as in right this second, or now as in tomorrow, or next week, or next month?"
"Now. Right this second, and later. I like you Bobby- and God if I don't feel fifteen saying that but there it is. I like you." I smiled nervously as I spoke, my heart rate increasing and I swallowed at the end, wondering if I should have said anything at all. His eyes met mine and he stared at me for a moment, before raising a hand, and tracing a finger along my jaw.
"I like you too- but you scare the shit out of me Alex." His eyes were intense and his voice was barely a whisper as I leaned into his touch, shifting myself closer to him.
"Why?" I whispered back, reaching up and taking his hand in mine. I held it, bringing it down to my lap, and pinning it between my two hands. His fingers were long and tapered, and his hands looked deft- yet strong.
"I don't really- date girls that I really like. It- commitment isn't something I do. And somehow- I look at you and I know- you're not casual. You're not someone to just date. And it terrifies me." His voice was hesitant and halting, and I felt my heart stop for a moment, and I closed my eyes briefly. His hand rotated mine, and his fingers began tracing a pattern on the inside of my palm.
"It scares me more though, to think that if I pass this up- you won't be there again." His fingers ran up across the back of my wrist and I shivered lightly in response. "So- would you-" He seemed to halt, his eyes meeting mine and I could see the nervousness there. I smiled as his fingers reached my inner elbow now, and I moved closer, nodding.
"Yes." I answered before he could even finish the question and he grinned, the smile crossing his face fully. "I have days off after this-"
"Me too. We could-" He was leaning closer now, and I could feel the whisper of his breath against my cheek.
"Maybe tomorrow-" I mumbled, not really following the conversation, and he nodded once before I leaned over, closing the distance between us, and pressed my mouth to his. His lips were soft, and he tasted like something dark and sweet, and I could feel my insides liquefy a bit. His hands came up to cradle my head, tucking my hair behind my ear as he took over control of the kiss, angling his mouth across mine gently. I let him, accepting as my mouth opened under his and my heart pounded in my ears. When I felt his tongue wrap around mine, I all but climbed in his lap, he felt so good. His hands ran down my neck, along my back and shoulders- and his touch erased any others that had come before him that night. My body leaned into his, wanting more, to be closer as his hands hit my hips, pulling me against him. I felt like I couldn't breathe- and I didn't really want to ever again either- the room was quiet and softly lit and his hands were tracing lines of fire across my skin. I never wanted it to stop.
Eventually though, I did pull away, almost gasping for air. My forehead rested against his, and I felt a need building deep inside me that would unfortunately not be filled tonight. Sighing, I rested my hands along his shoulders, trying to regain my equilibrium. My eyes met his and I smiled softly at how dark they were. "Wow."
I felt his laugh at my statement, and giggled in response. My smile grew into a grin, and I felt as though something light was filling my chest- waiting to burst out. He leaned back, his hand tracing the side of my face and his eyes watching me intently. It made me feel giddy- and beautiful and wanted. "Yeah- wow." He whispered back, and I shifted my legs so I was sitting next to him instead of on top of him. "So- tomorrow, right? We could- have dinner, or do.. something." he laughed self consciously, before continuing. "Normally I'm a bit more articulate than this- and I'll have a better plan later. But right now-"
"It's alright. I don't care what we do. Dinner, movie, whatever. I'll do anything-" With you. It was unspoken, but the implication hung heavy in the air, and his hand tightened on my waist.
"Good. I- uh- I should go before-" His meaning was clear as well, and I nodded shakily, sliding away from him reluctantly and standing. He stood as well, and I walked with him over to the door. He looked down at me with a small smile, shaking his head. "So tiny." I laughed, knowing he was right- our difference in height is especially noticeable now that I'm in my bare feet. My head doesn't even clear his shoulder, and if I laid it on his chest, I'm sure I would hear his heart perfectly. "So- I'll- I'll call you. Right?"
"My number- you'll need it." I spoke suddenly, realizing I wasn't that clear on details. I scribbled it down on a loose piece of paper on my desk, handing it to him. "Or I'm- you know in the book." I grinned nervously and he laughed, tucking the paper in his pocket.
"Okay- I'm- I'm gonna go." He gestured to the door behind him and everything felt awkward for a second. I stepped closer to him, and all awkwardness seemed to disappear. His head lowered and I rose on my tip toes, almost on point and met him halfway. This kiss was brief- sweet but filled with promise. He stepped away and exited with one more look, and as I closed the door behind him, and slid the bolts into place, I pressed my ear to the door. When I heard his footsteps echo down the stairwell, I gave a little silent scream, spinning around and grinning. All of a sudden, it was a beautiful night. And tomorrow would be a beautiful day.
I grinned walking into the house the next day. I'm sure my smile was blinding in it's audacity- but somehow I couldn't quite get it off my face. My cheeks hurt, and I'm sure it had stayed there while I slept too. I sing songed a good morning to the desk sergeant who scowled back. Wandering up the stairs I paused outside Mike's door to knock. At her hollered 'come in' I entered with the grin.
"Well look who's back, and with glowing reports too. Believe me, getting the ass over at NEU to write anything other than 'sufficient' is a freaking miracle. Not thinking of leaving us now, are you?" Mike sat behind her desk with it's usual clutter and I grinned again and shook my head.
"Hell no- I spent all of last night either scared out of my mind, trying not to throw up, or throwing up. I'll stay here for a while- thanks." I stood in front of the desk, leaning against it slightly with the smile still in place.
"Uh huh- they all say that to me. Alright- go grab your stuff and get out of here. I don't want to see you for three days- is that clear?" She finally looked up and saw the expression on my face and shook her head. "Shit- what did you get laid last night or something? You look- way too happy for this early."
I laughed and shook my head, hopping up from the corner of her desk, my smile beaming. "Nope- just- in a great mood, that's all."
"Yeah well, get your 'great mood' under control before you come back to work, please. You're making me sick just being that happy. Now get. Oh and Lish wanted to see you before you left, so go on down and see her , otherwise it'll be my fault I'm sure." Mike waved me out and I gladly escaped, smiling at the thought of three solid days off. Of course, I'd have to spend one of them at home- I'd promised Mom, but one day out of three was.. well I still had two days to myself right? Not to mention that one of them would be spent with Bobby. I skipped down the stairs, and walked into the squad room, empty save for Lish.
"Alex- Jesus you look great for someone who probably got no sleep." Lish laughed, and indicated that I sit on the desk, which I did. "so- how was NEU?" She grinned and I laughed slightly, feeling a spike of irritation in remembrance of her easy conversation with Bobby.
"Good- great. It was a rush. The guys all seemed nice though- Smith and Carlos and Bobby-"
"Some nicer than others, huh?" She grinned knowingly and I rolled my eyes. "Oh come on- even you have to admit- Bobby's pretty great. He's never even looked at me with anything other than professional interest though-"
"Good thing seeing as you have a thing for Joe." I broke in dryly and she flushed, glancing around.
"Alex! Stop it- I told you- he's a womanizer."
"Yeah and you want to reform him." I laughed lightly and she narrowed her eyes, leaning back and glaring.
"You're avoiding the topic- Goren. What did you think?"
Hopping off her desk, I grinned. "That's for me to know and you never to find out. If that's all you wanted was to gossip about boys- you can call me later. I'm off to be work free for three days."
"Have fun." She called out as I walked away. "And I will call-"
"I know. Goodbye Lish." I laughed, and exited into the hall- heading towards the doors. Out by the steps, I was stopped by the guys- heading in from the locker room. After some good natured ribbing and Dick grumbling for me to get back soon, since he didn't want to work with the auxiliary, they headed into the squad. All except Conner, who waited until they left, his eyes watching me.
"Hey Alex?" His voice was almost mild and uncertain, and I glanced at my watch with a frown and back up at him.
"Yeah?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to maybe get dinner one night you're off?" His face was neutral, but I felt my stomach drop at the question. Crap. I wasn't good at this- the whole letting people down gently thing. I usually just dropped them, no concern needed.
"Joe.." I spoke with a sigh, not wanting to have to do this and hoping he'd get the hint and back off. He stood, waiting for me to finish, and my hope died on the cheap flooring. "Joe- please don't- don't do this.."
"Why not? Alex- come on, you're great- good looking and fun, you understand the job. What's not to like?" He had his hands shoved in his pockets and I closed my eyes for a moment , hoping when I opened them he wouldn't still be standing there, pouting like a little boy.
"Joe- listen, I'm- not really looking for casual right now. And frankly- casual is all you are." There. A perfectly plausible excuse, right?
"What if I wasn't looking for casual either?" He stared at me, moving a step closer. Shit. "Alex- I really like you- and maybe it's time for me to-"
"Don't." I cut him off, stepping back and giving myself some space. "Don't make me do this the hard way, please?"
"I am serious here. Really serious. Tell me that makes a difference and you'd reconsider-" I frowned up at him, and stared as he tried to convince me. In another world- he might have been able to. He was a good looking guy- and charming in his own abrasive way. But that would be a world before Bobby- and now I was in the awkward position of telling him that.
"No, Joe." I cut him off quickly, deciding that ripping the band aid off was the best way to go about this. "It wouldn't work even if you were serious-"
"You don't know that-"
"Yes, I do!" I spat out forcefully, pushing myself backwards from him. "It just- it wouldn't work."
"Are you seeing someone? Because if so- I apologize." He seemed to be collecting himself, trying to feel out the appropriate response to the situation.
"I am." I responded softly, biting back a smile at the thought. I was seeing someone, and it felt odd- yet so good to say that. Sure technically it was just a first date- but Bobby had said himself last night- we wouldn't be casual- and we both knew it. "I'm sorry Joe. You're a nice guy- and if- if you are ready to settle down- maybe you're just looking in the wrong direction. Maybe you've already met the right girl- you just haven't really looked at her." It was a close as I could get to saying 'go look at Lish, you idiot'- without actually saying it. He nodded slightly, smiling.
"Yeah- sure. I'm really sorry- for pushing Alex. I hope-"
"It's not a problem Joe. We're friends right?" He nodded, and waved quickly before walking around me in a hurry. I frowned slightly, my mood dampened a bit, but the grin resurfaced as I walked toward the train station and my elation reappeared. I was going on a date – and I was happy. Even the thought of Joe, or my mother couldn't ruin this day for me.