I was never jealous of Miss Morstan. I'm still not. How could I be? Her rapport with Watson is utterly different from mine. Two men cannot have romantic relations. It is not possible. And I had seen Watson and Mary together. Their contact was all yielding tenderness, like wax melting into each other. But pain was the only method of contact we could use without shaming ourselves. We punished each other for what we were doing. What we were forced to do. So. What I want with tenderness? No, I am not jealous of Mary.
I swear.
Not at all.