(Sam Winchester)
Castiel sends me another picture of Dean and my heart breaks, shatters this time. He's sliced up and bleeding and in so much pain that I can almost feel it washing over me like his blood washes over the marble alter.
Turning, I put my hand out for Ruby but instead of her supportive hand I feel the cold skin of a demon possessed human snatch it and press it against it's a forehead as if in a blessing. Totally grossed out I pull my hand back but now know the answer to another piece of the puzzle.
Ruby is nowhere to be found but I don't care. For what it's worth, she helped me when I needed help and, though I can't say I'm exactly grateful, I don't begrudge her a hasty retreat. I have to wonder, though, if she can get far enough away, fast enough and think, maybe not.
I understand Ruby's urge for survival but I truly don't understand Lilith. She knows that her power is useless against me and, unless she's picked up a trick or two since the last time we met, it's pretty stupid of her throw down against me. I'm beginning to think that this is much more than a vendetta.
Maybe Lucifer's getting anxious in his rising and needs me to either shit or get off the pot. Either save my skin and let Lilith kill Dean so I can go full on demon or sacrifice myself to save Dean and fade away, you know, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. My suspicions are confirmed when someone or something clutches at me and says with passion, "Lléveme en la guerra contra Dios" "Take me to war against God!" and I know why I'm here, in this place, at this time.
The time for choosing sides is now. Not just for good verses evil but a choice within the ranks of the damned. Many of them no longer think Lilith is the chosen one but that the dubious honor is now mine by way of my resurrection and Azazel's bloodline.
The demons quiet down and I know Lilith is on the move again, on her way back to Dean and if she, or Satan himself, ever had any doubt about me sacrificing myself to save my brother then hell hasn't learned squat about the Winchesters. And just like Ruby taught me, I raise my hand and begin to chant and my head begins to pound and I can feel the blood flowing from my nose and I silently tell Dean that I love him even as I say goodbye.