A/N: Yes, I did change the title BTW :P

And wOOt! I'm glad you guys like it :D If any of you manage to think of a half decent summary along the way...pleeeease tell me, 'cause I can't think of one. Even if it's just pissing about, or whatever. 'Cause this fic is basically like a pathwork quilt - bits from other things all sown together to make one story.

Ooo. I like that metaphor... :)

Anyway...what was I gonna say? ...No, can't remember :-/ Oh well. I'll tell you later.

----------
Chapter 2 – Melting Cheese

Now dressed in blue jeans, a white shirt and a zip up black hoody, The Doctor felt more like a hobo than a nine hundred year old Timelord from outer space. He wondered how hard Jackie would hit him if she knew he and her daughter had found a personal interest in one another on drunken night – then wondered if there was an ambulance ready and on call for people who'd received Jackie Tyler slaps.

Because hell, he would be needing one – very, very badly.

Actually, he wouldn't mind one now. Even the far distant hum of cars in the background seemed like an aircraft inches above his head. He and Rose had slept in until a record-breaking 5:00pm to try and ward off the fatigue from the hangover. He'd then spent twenty minutes trying to remember where the wardrobe was, and a further forty minutes straining to recall the process in which you got dressed. The next thirty minutes he'd just stared at the dematerialisation column in the TARDIS, wishing he knew how to operate it.

He finally recollected his forgotten Timelord programming abilities, then set back to Jackie's to retrieve their clothes.

The plan was this; The Doctor would distract Jackie while Rose gave an excuse to leave the room. She then run to her bedroom and pick up The Doctors and her abandoned clothes from last night. But as The Doctor pointed out – how the hell did they wake up in TARDIS while their clothes were still in the flat?

Somehow he wished he could remember last night. It was disappointing the night he'd had Rose was to be wiped from his memory for the rest of time. He struggled to reach back into his mind, stretching out an imaginative hand to grab hold of a memory, any memory. Lla…llamas? Was it something to do with llamas?

Rose lifted a hand to ring the doorbell of Jackie Tyler's flat at precisely 6:30pm, feeling slightly sick. She'd thrown up twice that morning – and this wasn't just normal sick. This was projectile vomiting. Most of her hangover symptoms had now gone after eight hours recuperation, but wondered how The Doctor must feel. He'd had ten times more than her, and couldn't even remember what had gone on the previous night.

She glanced sideward at The Doctor, seeing his face screwed up in immense effort. She gave him a nudge and he instantly looked down at her, face turning content.

"What's up?" she asked, and for a moment he looked confused.

"Rose…" he started with a frown. "Did we joyride some llamas from the zoo last night?"

Rose never got the chance to answer this rather strange question as the door to the flat suddenly swung inwards, revealing a distracted Jackie holding a plate in one hand and a wet chequered teacloth in the other. Upon sight of Rose, she threw the rugged looking teacloth and plate straight at The Doctor - who only just about caught them in time through his impaired reactions - and threw her arms around Rose in a massive hug.

"Why'd you leave so quickly this mornin'?" Jackie questioned over her daughters shoulder, and was only met by a shrug.

"We had places to go."

Jackie pulled out of her hug with her only daughter, meeting The Doctor, scanning over with her eyes. Immediately a disgusted look came onto her face, and The Doctor pulled a face back.

"Always draggin' my daughter off before I 'ave a chance to say goodbye! And what the 'ell are you wearing?"

The Doctor sighed dejectedly. "Y'see Jackie," he started, his voice pumped full of sarcasm, "to make a thing we call 'clothes', first of all, the sheep is shorn for it's wool, and then-"

He ducked the oncoming slap and slipped quickly behind Rose's body, using her as a human shield. He couldn't imagine a child friendly situation if he told her about his and Rose's little confrontation in the TARDIS – and was just glad that he'd never have to tell her about it.

"Right," Rose interrupted before either of them could even begin their usual routine fight. "I'm fed up with your continuous arguments."

Jackie smiled widely, folding her arms, victorious. "Y'hear that Doctor?"

"Both of you!" Rose interrupted as The Doctor opened his mouth to retort. "No more arguments – I'm serious."

There was a brief moment of silence, before The Doctor nodded to Rose, taking her hand into his own.

"Sure."

"Yep," Jackie concurred. There was another brief moment of blissful silence, until Jackie said through gritted teeth in obviously forced politeness, "I'm so glad to see you again, Doctor."

"It's great to see you too Jackie." He smiled, the subtle hint of sarcasm hidden by the forced pleasantness, which came out as a monotone.

"Why don't you come inside?(!)" Her painfully strained politeness continued, along with his.

"I'd love too, thank you Jackie. I must say, you look beautiful today." The sarcasm was enough to melt cheese with.

"Why thank you Doctor, you are being oh so nice today." She could hardly stop herself from jumping forward and slapping him hard.

"Make the most of it," he answered through the gritted teeth, before Rose interrupted the conversation.

"Sorry to break up this polite tête-à-tête, but I'm getting kind of cold here."

"Of course, Rose! Come in!" Jackie suddenly turned unhealthy joyous, before turning to The Doctor, the same monotone coming out her mouth as before. "Come inside Doctor, I'll fix you a drink."

"How very sweet of you Jackie," he replied just as dully, before Jackie spotted his and Rose's hand joined…as one…and her eyes widened incredulously.

Spotting Jackie's glare, The Doctor let Rose's hand slip from his grasp indistinctly, but Rose absently sought it out again, giving it a quick squeeze. He flashed her a grin, and treated Jackie with a winning smile and a shrug. Jackie just scowled behind Rose's back as Rose led The Doctor through the front door and into the sitting room.

----------

A/N: Oh! I remember! How's my chapter naming going? This one's called 'Melting Cheese'...for a reason you might be able to spot; and the next one's called 'Balls Of Steel'...also for reasons you'll see immediately. Yes, this is the filth that goes on inside my head during the day :P

AND I'VE GOT TO STOP USING BLOODY HYPHENS! THEY'RE ALL OVER THE EFFIN' PLACE!

(Calms)

Review. Pwease? I still need to know whether to keep posting this after Royal Mail sort themselves out...humph.