A/N: good news: I've passed my accounting exam that has been the most difficult exam in my whole life, so I feel utterly relieved and happy now. After this, I'm not a bit afraid of the rest of my exams, those will (hopefully) be a piece of cake compared to this…

In case you're interested – I drew a coverart for this fic. You can view it by clicking on the relevant link in my ffnet bio.

I've replied to a few reviews, and also thanks to: refloc, Zodokai, Saldaen farmgirl, Hello, Queen Dragon, The Thirteenth Councilor, Saiyume, Valmoer, Bowles, gremlin, azimataiji, xav, Bismillah, Mistri, Tonks' Admirer, Slytherin Daughter, BobtheFrog

This is the shortest chapter in the fic – I promise the rest of the chapters will be longer :)

Chapter 3

Don't Make Promises You Cannot Keep

Kitty didn't remember when she'd last laughed this hard.

"A marriage proposal, Miss Jones."

Of course, marriage! To John Mandrake!

She simply couldn't stop laughing. Although she'd been determined to stand upright, now she collapsed onto the vacant seat, burying her face into her hands.

Noooo, it couldn't be possible that John Mandrake actually had some sense of humour!

Finally, after what must have been two or three minutes, Kitty looked up to see Mandrake looking at her darkly. "Now what?" she said, still fighting down an urge to giggle.

"You laughed at me," he said, his voice sharp, his eyes icy.

"Who wouldn't? After a joke like this… Mandrake, why don't you write comedies instead of chasing the Resistance? People would like you much more than they do now."

"I wasn't joking, Miss Jones."

Kitty blinked. He seemed sincere. A rare thing for John Mandrake. "You… weren't… joking?"

"No, I wasn't."

Kitty gaped at him for a few seconds before she found her voice again. "You… you've asked my hand in marriage?"

"I have. And I would have explained why, if you had taken me seriously."

"Take you seriously? You lost your right to be taken seriously when you went back on your promise. Remember? Ah, an angry flash of the eye. So, you do remember," she said nastily. "Don't you think that the only person here who has the right to be angry is me, not you? After all, it was you, who broke your promise… but I digress. I must say I won't be taking you seriously – ever – but I'm willing to listen to your explanations, my noble suitor."

"You love annoying me, don't you?" he said with a forced smile.

"To be totally honest: I do."

"All right, let's be totally honest," Nathaniel agreed. "I don't like you any better than you like me, and it wasn't my idea to marry you, but that of the government. They decided that in order to gain the commoners' trust, we need to make concessions, like giving them a few seats in Parliament… and giving one of them a chance to marry a high-ranking Ministry official. Most commoners would be oooohing and aaahing if they saw one of them getting married to one of us. The ministers think it would be best if a magician married someone from the Resistance, to show that we're… forgiving."

"The government must be in great shit if they have to take such drastic measures," Kitty observed. "And apparently they've chosen you as their stooge."

"Your lack of respect never ceases to amaze me, Miss Jones," the young magician said dryly. "Well, my offer is: if you marry me before hundreds of flashing cameras and keep smiling throughout the wedding reception, then you get to live the life of a princess. If you turn me down, you remain here for the rest of your life and you can keep smiling at the jailer and the rats. I doubt any prisoner in the Tower has ever received a more generous offer."

"That's about it? Pretend to be the happy bride and get my freedom back in return?" Kitty raised a black eyebrow at the man. "Or do you expect more... things that you aren't telling me now? Like…" she gave him a disgusted grimace, "giving you children?"

"Don't worry about that, magicians can't have children."

"No wonder, that tight pair of trousers you used to wear as a kid would make anyone impotent…"

Nathaniel rolled his eyes. "Magicians aren't allowed to have children. Therefore, if you decide to marry me, you will have to live your life without ever having a child."

"Rather that than birthing your spawn!"

"Does this mean you're accepting my offer?"

"Do I have another chance to get out of here?" she asked.

"No."

"Then I accept your offer, Mandrake," she sighed. "Heavens… Kitty Mandrake. Doesn't that sound horrible?"

o o o O O O o o o

The next few hours seemed a blur to Nathaniel. Accompanied by two burly guards, he drove Kitty to Whitehall where she had to sign a contract which obliged her to marry John Mandrake, stay with him until 'death parts them' (she made a grimace when reading this line in the contract) and not try to contact the Resistance ever again. In return, the government of the Empire promised her an amnesty.

After signing the contract, Nathaniel took his fiancée to her parents' home where she would be kept under house arrest until the wedding.

On his way home, Nathaniel couldn't help but grin at the memory of the Jones parents' exuberant reaction to their daughter's 'fortune', and Kitty's sour face seeing her parents' enthusiasm. Kitty's father kept bowing and reciting how unbelievably fortunate he regarded himself to become related to such a great magician, while his wife grabbed Nathaniel's hand and kissed it. The poor bride-to-be looked like someone who wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth…

As his house loomed into view, Nathaniel forced himself to stop grinning at the Jones's reaction and think of more important matters – like how to tell Jane the news. She wouldn't be charmed by it, that much was clear.

As he got out of his limousine, Nathaniel suddenly felt very tired. The shock and the nervousness that he had had to suffer throughout the day took their toll on him, and all he longed for was his bed. His own bed, not Jane's.

Well, telling Jane the news can wait, he decided, entering the house.

He ordered one of his two foliots to make a light dinner with a mug of hot milk and settled down before the television, annoyed that due to an over-enthusiastic Mrs Jones (who insisted that he stay and wait until she had his favourite cake ready) he had missed most of the news.

'…and now, the main news headlines again. In Paris: the Mona Lisa has been stolen from the Louvre; in Bangladesh: the monsoon has destroyed houses and property, leaving thousands homeless; and here in London, it has been announced that Minister of Internal Affairs John Mandrake is to marry former Resistance leader Kathleen Jones. And now, the weather forecast…"

Nathaniel groaned. Why couldn't those stupid ministers wait a few days before they announced the news to the media? Oh, of course, the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport had also been present at their morning discussion and at the signing of the marriage contract, and he surely alerted the press as soon as Nathaniel and Kitty left for the Jones parents' home. If only Jane hadn't watched the news… he wanted to tell her in person.

The doorbell buzzed.

The young magician had a very good idea who could be his late visitor.

"Sir, Miss Farrar wishes to speak to you," one of his foliots announced in a small voice. "May I let her enter?"

Nathaniel felt like saying 'no', but he knew it would only make things worse. All right, let's get this over with… "Let Miss Farrar in," he sighed, standing up, smoothing his jacket and forcing himself to look much less sleepy than he felt.

A rather agitated Jane Farrar stormed into the living room.

"Ah, Jane, how nice to-"

"Shut up!" she hissed.

Nathaniel obediently closed his mouth. It was better not to rile her even more; she already looked ready to kill someone. He hoped it wasn't him.

"I demand an explanation!" she stamped her foot.

"Now should I shut up or give you an explanation?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

Jane's eyes narrowed. "Don't play the wise-guy, John Mandrake! Tell me: why did I have to find out the news from the TV and not from you? And what is this whole madness about you marrying a… a… nobody like that?"

"Would you like a brandy? That would help you calm down, and while you're drinking it, I could explain everything."

She gave him a piercing glance. "All right. But it better be a very good explanation!"

Nathaniel walked to the mini bar and filled a glass with brandy. He didn't drink one, as he'd just finished his milk (though he'd never admit to anyone that he liked such despicably common things as milk) and didn't want to risk an upset stomach. "Here." He handed her the glass and took a seat on the sofa opposite her. "And now, please let me tell you the whole story without interruption."

Her lips pressed firmly together, she nodded.

Nathaniel told her everything from the government's stupid idea of giving the commoners concessions to the signing of the marriage contract. "…and as you see, I'm just doing my duty towards the Empire. Nothing less and nothing more. I will marry her, give her a room in this huge house, and forget about her. She could wither away and die in her room for all I care."

"Indeed?"

"Indeed. I don't care for her, I don't need her, and most definitely don't intend to treat her as my 'wife'."

So far Jane had listened to him with a defiant expression, but upon hearing his last sentence, a small smile appeared on her face. "You don't intend to touch her?"

"Why would I want to dirty my hands with a commoner?" He returned her smile. "Especially when I have a wonderfully talented magician as my lover?"

Her smile widened, and noticing this, he got up and sat down on the sofa next to her, putting an arm around her. "I only want you, Jane."

As he began nibbling on her left ear (forgetting that mere minutes ago he had been terribly tired), she whispered: "Will you never touch her, John? Never touch her in ways you touched me?"

"Never," he mumbled into her neck.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, promise," he said, lowering her into a horizontal position and covering her shoulders with kisses.

Another promise he'd carelessly made.

o o o O O O o o o

A/N: next chapter: the wedding, told from Kitty's point of view. And now, review, please!