Chapter 22 – The Quest For The Rubber Duck

Mickey and Howard covered their ears at the sound of the two women screaming hysterically from two feet away in a mother-daughter battle.

"You've hated him! You've always hated him! Why do you have to make it so damned hard all the time?" Rose screamed at her mother as she sat next to the unconscious Doctor in a chair beside the bed.

"I only want what's best for you Rose, and…" Jackie tried to protest, sitting the other side of the Doctor in another chair, in effect the two were screaming over him.

"And he's not? How d'you know what's best for me?"

"Rose, incase you 'aven't noticed, he's an alien…"

"Congratulations mum! You finally realised!"

"I'm just a bit worried…"

"About what mum? About what?" Rose demanded, bolting onto her feet and leaning over the bed, closer to her mother. "He's protected me for my entire life with him and given me everything I've ever needed and more, what could you possibly be worried about?"

"Just bein' friends is one thing Rose, but when you start 'aving babies all over the place you gotta start replanning!"

"Mum, the hardest thing that comes with these babies is choosing which room they sleep in! What else could there possibly be?"

"You gotta start thinkin' about commitment, marriage, education, inoculation…"

"Mum the Doctor's gonna sort all that!"

"There ya go again, layering it all onto the Doctor! 'Ow d'you know he's even gonna still be with ya before the baby can walk?"

"The Doctor would never ditch me!"

"Because the Doctor is 'Mr Right'?"

"Yes, he is, and if you can't be happy for me, then…I suggest you leave mum."

There was silence in the room, as Rose lifted a finger and pointed towards the doorway, looking hard at her mother.

"But-" Jackie started, but was swiftly interrupted by Rose again.

"Just, go."

"I think it's me who has to go."

Rose swivelled around at the sound of the voice, seeing the Doctor with his eyes open, looking sadly at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Doctor! How you feelin'? Okay? Does it hurt? D'you need anythin'?"

He ignored her string of questions, pulling himself out of the bed and onto wobbly feet.

"Are you bloody insane?!" Jackie stepped boldly infront of the doorway, preventing him from walking out of the Infirmary. "You can't even shout at me without passing out!"

"She's right," Rose agreed, before adding, "for once. You can't go out walkin' now, you've gotta get better."

The Doctor didn't say anything, just walked over to Jackie, staring into her eyes hypnotically.

"Let me out please Jackie."

"No."

The Doctor sighed dejectedly, resting a hand on each of Jackie's shoulders before pushing her aside, firmly but kindly.

"I'm sorry but I have to," he said gently, and Jackie suddenly looked thunderous. Rose stepped forward towards him, sensing 'mother danger' was near.

"I'll go with him, we can work things out between us. We'll be back by six." Without even waiting for a reply, Rose grabbed the Doctor's hand and dragged him out the door as fast as his damaged legs would allow.

Rose looked on at the Doctor in pity, sensing the huge amount of tiredness running through him everytime he tried to look at the page of the book he was holding. She shuffled towards him carefully, positioning herself on the sofa next to him, deliberately putting her arms in a fold around his neck as they both leaned into the book.

"I can't read it," the Doctor declared as he snapped the book up suddenly, nearly making Rose jump ten feet into the air in surprise. "It's just…everything's…"

Rose shushed him in mid-flow, pressing a hand to his shirtless bruised chest; feeling the rhythmic beating of two hearts that were still partially recovering from the trauma. "It'll get better, you've just gotta rest for a while."

The Doctor smiled at her, watching her trace her finger along a stitched up cut scored roughly into his skin in amongst the bruises.

"Grrr, chest hair…" Rose growled, and he grinned, pulling her across his lap sideways so the pregnancy bump was right infront of him as Rose sat up vertically against the wall behind her.

"Cooie!" he called, rapping gently on the bump. "Anyone home?"

No sound came from her womb, so the Doctor put an ear flat onto it, listening intently for signs of his two children. Seconds passed. He suddenly drew back sharply, letting out a moan as he clasped the side of his face.

"Kicked me! The little…"

Rose couldn't help but laugh as he sat there staring at the bump with revenge, before pointing at it sincerely as if he was talking to a real person.

"Whichever one of you did that better own up now, or I swear the second you come out your mother's womb it's straight to the Orphanage." He paused for dramatic effect, and then added, "for both of you!"

Rose burst into giggles, before the Doctor kissed her womb and rubbed his hand over it carefully. She went quiet, both wanting him to do even more, yet at the same time wanting him to stop. It felt…wrong.

She was a nineteen-year-old girl, barely three years out of school and as of yet unable to buy those cheesy puff things in a supermarket without flushing an embarrassed red and running off giggling. But now here that girl was; pregnant with the babies of an alien Timelord who was more than thirty-six times her mother's age that went around in a time travelling machine called the TARDIS, which not to mention provided copious amounts of alcohol for two people.

Wow, she was really going to enjoy that question, wasn't she?

"Mummy, how was I made?"

"Y'see, one night your father and me got completed smashed out of our skulls in the TARDIS kitchen, and after a brief interlude of visiting my mother, borrowing some llamas from the zoo and stripping down in my bedroom to our underwear, we ran out into the street with just cloths to keep what little we had left of our dignity and screamed 'God has saved us all!' at the top of our voices before disappearing into the TARDIS to have mad passionate sex in your father's double bed - which frankly was fantastic – and by the way, we never DID find the rubber duck."

"Rose…" the Doctor suddenly muttered, leaning over her body with one hand on the cushioned wall on the left of her head, the other clutching the edge of the settee on her right.

"Yes, Doctor?" she asked in a whisper, suddenly hit full on by every piece of love she was and had ever felt for the Doctor in her entire life with him. He leant closer, gazing into her eyes as her blood pressure sky-highed and crashed through the roof, letting in a small, warm draught that Rose was able to realise was actually the Doctor's breath on her face.

"Rose…" he said again, and Rose knew his gaze had locked onto her face, and wasn't moving anytime soon. She closed her eyes, opening her lips ready to receive the kiss that was sure to come. She could feel him progressing closer towards her, the feeling of flying setting in as he was now less then an inch away…

"Rose, you've got a mark on your face…here…lemme get it off…"

She jerked open her eyes in surprise as he licked his thumb and started rubbing hard on her cheek, trying to get rid of the mark as her head bobbed up an down with his efforts. She sighed dejectedly, realising that if she wanted a job doing properly, she'd have to do it herself.

"Here goes nothing…" she muttered, before looking straight at the Doctor in the eye, and launching herself onto him in a flush of pure passion and ecstasy. The Doctor fell backwards in surprise, landing with a yelp on a squishy beanbag in a very confined area a foot below the sofa. Rose landed directly on top of him as her lips interlocked with his, forcing her tongue down his throat as if she was going to rip it out in a kissing frenzy.

There were no holds barred as she nearly tore his hair out, which strangely for him began to feel slightly erotic in mid-flow. He began to kiss back. To hell with it. It wasn't like it was illegal or anything. They were both fully-grown adults able to make intelligent and responsible decisions for themselves, he reasoned. Just not while she was trying to tear what little clothes he had left on – like now.

"Doctor…" Rose had time to breathe as she drew back for a second to get some oxygen.

"Rose…" he whispered back, drawing her into a kiss again.

"Doctor…"

"Rose…"

"Doctor…"

"Rubber duck…"

Rose chose to ignore this last comment he'd made, concentrating too much on the kissing part to care about the speech.

When she first felt the nudge in her side, she had presumed the Doctor had moved his leg to a much more comfortable position, but when the Doctor had suddenly yelled, "go away!" she had turned to find a small camera floating about where the nudge had come onto her side.

"What…?" she started to say, but the Doctor just reached up a hand to bring her face back around to his own again, muttering something about the TARDIS and blackmail.

Then Rose had to stop as another contraction pulled across her stomach, making her pull back from him as she cried out in pain. But then she realised – the Doctor had cried out too, clutching his head as a burst of pain channelled right through its centre.

"You okay?" she asked after the moment had passed, and the Doctor nodded bleakly, looking up at her as he rested a hand on her stomach.

"Probably just a psychic connection of some sort, I'll sort it out later. Anyway, where were we…?" He pulled her back in again to kiss, but another contraction made her back off of him, falling into sitting position on the sofa as she clutched tightly at her womb. He was crying out with her as he stood up, gripping his forcefully pounding head in total anguish. His eyes were scrunched up tight, hands tugging firmly at his hair as he fell to his knees, coursing with pain.

Then, it stopped.

For a few brief moments all the Doctor could do was gasp for air as Rose stared on in alarm, unable to say anything. It was the contractions that were doing this to him.

"Rose," he panted, looking at her carefully. "There's a very strong possibility you're going into pre-mature labour."

"It's a bloody quick labour!" Rose replied in a whiney voice, and he pulled himself to his feet.

"Gallifreyians were weird like that." He walked over to her, checking her over carefully. "We've gotta get back to the Infirmary. Can you walk?"

"I'm sure I'll manage," she sniffed, and he pushed her infront of him, hands on her waist to guide her back through the TARDIS. The Doctor hoped to Rassilon the TARDIS was still keeping an eye on them, and was politely going to rearrange the corridors so they could get to the Infirmary fairly rapidly before Rose had another contraction.

Of course, it was sheer coincidental bad luck that Rose happened to have another one the moment he'd thought that.

The now very familiar searing pain flashed through his head, immediately making him cripple and fall heavily to his knees behind Rose, crying out again.

Rose couldn't do anything for him – that was the horrible part. He shouldn't have to feel the pain, this pain that was supposed to be her pain. She even half wished Jackie was actually hitting him; at least she would be able to physically see what was causing his pain and be able to stop it. But what was she supposed to do now? Stop the contractions from labour? Damned impossible.

He was now on the floor, screaming and writhing in pain from the unknown force beating at his head. As the pain intensified even further inside her, he seemed to go limp on the floor and silent from the screaming, although he was still jerking around involuntarily like he was being electrocuted. The pain slowly diminished, fading out and out and out until it became nothing inside her again, and she lifted her head to the Doctor.

He'd passed out, that was for sure.

"TARDIS!" she called out, another wave of pain in her stomach starting the reaction in the Doctor all over again. "Help us! Please! If you can hear me TARDIS, please help!"

A/N: Whew! Thanks guys for lasting this long. It'll be a chapter a day until I get till the end of my pre-written ones and have to start writing again. By the way - that's only two chapters.

I'm working on LA as I SPEAK, I swear. Kinda. Get me off Tekken and I'll do it!!

Chapter 23 – There Is No Chapter 23

"Daddy?"

Ooo, exciting, isn't it:P