Of Spandex and Shuriken
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Drabble 6: Take Off Your...
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Gai wasn't there when Tenten returned to the team training area. Nor, she noticed, were Lee's birthday cakes. However, Neji was there and he looked significantly more amused than usual--especially given the fact that he'd failed to complete Gai's "mission."
"No luck?" he asked as his teammate approached.
Tenten shook her head, raising a brow, in turn, at the empty cake boxes strewn about. Several empty cake boxes.
"Did Gai-sensei have the party without us?"
"Apparently," said Neji, the tiniest smirk playing about his lips. "He and Kakashi-sensei had quite the competition. I don't need to tell you who won, do I?"
Tenten slapped her forehead. "So, Gai-sensei's doing laps around the village?"
"No," said Neji, his smirk widening to a grin. "He's... bowing to the throne."
"...Huh?"
From somewhere in the distance, the sound of retching could be heard.
"Apparently," said Neji, dissolving into snickers, "the cake... didn't agree with him. Then again, the fates decree that you can't have your cake... and eat it too!"
At this point, Tenten realized that something must be dreadfully wrong.
"What the hell, Neji? Did someone spike your cereal this morning or something?"
But Neji didn't answer. He was doubled over in a fit of almost maniacal laughter.
"..."
At length, Gai trudged over, looking even greener than usual. Yes, that IS possible.
"If Lee comes by," he croaked, "would you apologize to him for me, and tell him that we'll have his party tomorrow?"
Tenten nodded.
Gai started to go into a nice-guy pose, but then winced and clutched his abdomen.
"Do you want us to walk you home, sensei?" she asked, looking concerned.
That's what they'd done for Lee when he had been similarly incapacitated--except his condition hadn't been caused by cake.
Gai shook his head. "No, no. I'll be fine. We'll just do double training tomorrow to make up for the lost day!" And, again, he tried to pose, but was prevented by some force more powerful than youth.
Tenten found it painful to watch.
"You should go straight to bed when you get home."
He nodded. "See you bright and early tomorrow, then, Tenten... and Neji," said Gai, giving Neji a curious look before departing.
Neji's face contorted strangely and, the moment Gai was out of sight, he dissolved into laughter again.
"Neji, I think your party hat's on a little too tight," Tenten deadpanned. "Anyway... since training's been called off, see you around."
The laughter abruptly ceased and Neji's expression returned to its usual blankness.
"Training has not been called off," he told her. "We are going to spar."
It was not a request, but a command. And it might have worked... on anyone BUT Tenten.
"Well, that's too bad," she told him, "because I'm not in the mood."
He cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
"I have a headache," Tenten smirked. "Couldn't we just cuddle?"
Neji rolled his eyes.
"What? You were laughing your ass off a second ago!"
"Because what happened a second ago was actually funny."
"God, Neji, you couldn't be more bastardly if you tried," said Tenten, but with affection. She knew he was just being sulky because he didn't get his way. Then again, he was sulky most of the time anyway. So it was really a lose-lose situation however you looked at it.
And, knowing that he'd lost, Neji trudged off.
"See you tomorrow!" Tenten called out.
Neji grunted in reply and disappeared into the distance, taking Tenten's good cheer with him. Flirting with Neji, had almost, almost taken her mind off...
'No,' she decided. 'There is nothing to take my mind off of.'
She took out a throwing needle, aimed for one of the practice targets... and missed. Yes, Tenten missed. The damn thing was fifteen feet away, and she still managed to miss it. She threw another needle with the same result. And another. And another.
"Fine!" Tenten yelled, throwing several at once. Then she walked over to the target, and kicked the poor thing--as if it were to blame for her erratic aim.
"The whole damn world's gone crazy,":she muttered. "I missed the target, Neji turned bipolar, and Lee... Lee... Well, he finally got his dream girl... And that's fine with me."
She smiled, but it was sardonic, and mirthless. Which was strange, because she wasn't a sardonic or mirthless person. And flirting with Neji was definitely not the usual routine.
"I guess I've gone crazy too," she remarked to no one in particular, before withdrawing her final throwing needle, and sending it into the wooded clearing.
"Ouch!!" came a cry from the distance.
Tenten groaned. "No way. That can't be..."
But it was! Tenten's aim was apparently intact, because she hit the very person she had been brooding about.
Rock Lee emerged from the woods, looking quite displeased, with her needle sticking out of his left shoulder.
He scowled. "I'm not the practice target, Tenten."
"Sorry, Lee," she said with a nervous giggle. "I honestly wasn't aiming for you. But, really, who says 'ouch' when they're randomly hit by a throwing needle? Have you ever sworn once in your...?"
But Tenten trailed off, suddenly riveted to the circle of blood around the entry wound. It was expanding quickly. Lee obviously had a high pain threshold, because 'ouch' was all he had to say on the matter.
"Oh!" Tenten gasped, before dashing off.
Lee blinked. "Tenten?"
He knew that she was a bit hemophobic, but this was ridiculous--especially where the pointy-weapon style of taijutsu was her MO.
She back a moment later, though, with a big green package in her arms. And there was a red bow on top?
"I was going to let you open this," she said, tearing the paper off, "but the situation requires some... urgency. Um, happy birthday." She smiled weakly, holding out a big box of bandages. "You always seem to be running out."
Lee just stared.
"Um..." said Tenten awkwardly. "You're going to have to... take off your..."
He reddened slightly. "What?"
"So I can... dress your wound..." she mumbled.
Lee nodded and unzipped the top half of his spandex, peeling it off with surprising ease.
Tenten had always imagined it harder to take off--not that she ever thought of actually doing it!
'Whoo boy,' she thought, trying not to gawk too openly at that perfect body. It wasn't easy.
Lee squirmed uncomfortably. "Um, Tenten?"
"Yeah?"
"...Too tight."
Sure enough, the entire arm was turning blue.
"Oh! Sorry!!"
Tenten freed his arm of the makeshift tourniquet and began doing it more gently. Unfortunately, the visage of a certain medic-nin kept popping up in her mind and Lee had to remind her several times to take it easy.
"There," she said when she finished. She smiled nervously. "Sorry again, Lee. Probably not what you wanted for your birthday, eh?"'
"Forget it, Tenten," he smiled back. "But, I thought you'd all forgotten."
"What? We've been chasing you all over town!"
He raised an over-large eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"Yeah! You weren't at the training area this morning and we brought cake and presents and everything! Hell, Gai-sensei even got Neji to wear a party hat."
There was a long pause.
"I missed Neji in a party hat?"
"And cake," said Tenten, pointing to the empty cake boxes.
Lee gawked, counting out five, seven, nine, twelve empty boxes!
"...How did you guys eat all that?"
Tenten sweatdropped. "Eh, long story... But, um, we are going to have a redo tomorrow. You know, buy more cake, wear the party hats again, maybe rewrap that present," she said, pointing to the box of bandages.
"Actually," said Lee, "I've just run out. Of bandages, I mean."
Tenten rolled her eyes. "Maybe you wouldn't have if you were easy on yourself once in a while."
"I know," said Lee sheepishly.
"But your girlfriend already gave you that lecture, huh?"
Lee blinked. "Girlfriend?"
"Yeah," said Tenten crossly. "The girlfriend you never told me about."
"Well, no one told me either."
"Funny."
"Seriously, Tenten! What makes you think I have girlfriend?"
Tenten stared at him. "...So, earlier today, you and Sakura... were...?"
"Just going out for breakfast," Lee finished for her. "But, how did you know about that?"
Tenten turned scarlet. "...Um..."
"Were you spying on me?" inquired Lee, grinning.
"No!"
"Then how did you know what I was doing this morning?"
She smacked him, right on the newly bandaged shoulder.
"Ow, Tenten!"
"Hmph!"
"Geez," he muttered. "It's my birthday and I'm ditched, spied on, hit with throwing needles, and smacked!"
"Complain, complain, complain," Tenten muttered back. "That's all you ever do, Lee."
Lee laughed. "Actually, this is one of the best birthdays I've ever had."
"Where do you get that?" she scoffed. "Like you said, nothing good happened today."
"Well, I got exactly what I wanted," he smiled.
"What was that?" she muttered, knowing well what the answer was. "A hug from Sakura?"
"No, the bandages. I thought I was going to have to start using toilet paper!"
Tenten rolled her eyes. "You couldn't have gotten some yourself?"
"Well, you've already saved me the trouble. Thanks, Tenten."
And he pulled her into a hug. A friendly and platonic hug, but a hug nonetheless.
Tenten felt suddenly lightheaded, and forgot all of her indignation.
"Anyway," he said, releasing her, "since it's just us..."
"Yes?..." she prompted eagerly,
"Want to spar?"
Tenten deflated a little, but smiled. "Sure, if you're in the mood to get your butt kicked."
"We'll see," Lee grinned.
She pulled a dozen throwing needles. "Those bandages might come in handy, Lee."
And, sure enough, they did.
Lee's speed could surpass many things, but not his teammate's aim.
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A/N: And that concludes the birthday saga, though I missed it by... ack! a month. A belated Xmas entry is in the works, so keep an eye out for that! Happy holidays, everyone! ;-)
-Andrea