Of Spandex and Shuriken

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Drabble 7: Hormones and Electrolytes

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Dawn was rising in Konoha, staining the entire village an orangish pink. Shop windows glistened merrily in the early-morning sun, and bare tree limbs groaned and writhed against the wind.

Most of the young nin, particularly an unmotivated member of Team 10, were still asleep. But, from the direction of Team Gai's training area, a sharp, intermittent thwacking could be heard. The slim silhouette of ninja was dancing rhythmically among the trees, specks of sunlight glinting off dark hair, breath coming in sharp little gasps, and a pink flush on her cheeks.

The Weapons' Mistress of Konoha smirked, and let a dozen throwing needles fly, each hitting its intended target.

Satisfied, she retrieved them and went back to do it all again, spinning as she threw them, and hitting every target within a 365-degree radius. Then, she collapsed on the forest floor, sweating hard despite the winter chill. She had been there for hours and was finally feeling the strain.

But, Tenten couldn't say what had brought her there so early--because she was actually finding it harder to wake up in the morning.

She was also becoming increasingly moody and giddy.

Focused and distractible.

Elated one minute, and pissed off the next.

And it had all begun quickly: an acute infection that consumed her entirely within the space of a day--and left her common sense rotting in gangrene.

And it frightened her--because it made no sense. She couldn't relate it to anything she'd experienced before.

But, "Dr. Gai" knew what was going on.

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Flashback

"Ah, youthfully raging hormones!" he remarked--to the entire team. "Our beautiful lotus is now blossoming into a woman!"

And there was a pause as Neji and Lee stood back to observe Tenten's newly-developed, uh, womanliness.

"Gai-sensei!" cried the crimson-faced 'woman.' "shut up!!"

End Flashback

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Even in the chilly clearing, Tenten felt her face flush at the memory. But, at least she had some insight into what was happening to her.

So, hormones were the new adversary, huh? Lee had already fallen prey to them, and Tenten DID NOT want to start making random love confessions to complete strangers.

She sighed and closed her eyes, wondering again what had possessed her to come out to the training field at the crack of dawn. She'd be there for the entire day, ANYWAY!

Just as she was starting to drift back to sleep, she felt a something warm against her cheek.

A hand?

What?

A hand!

Tenten shot up into a sitting position. And banged heads with...

"Ow, Tenten! Why do I ALWAYS get hurt around you?"

"Lee!" she snarled, rubbing her head. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you weren't dead!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here this early anyway?"

Tenten glared at him. As far as she was concerned, HE was the one who owed HER an explanation.

"What are YOU doing here this early?"

His mouth formed a stubborn frown. "I asked first."

"Fine," she scowled. "I'm training. Or, at least, I was."

Lee looked around and, sure enough, several targets were set up, each covered in throwing needles.

"Now, what are you doing out here?" she asked. "Besides scaring me shitless."

"I always come here an hour early," he said curtly.

Frankly, he wasn't sure what to make of his teammate's increasingly frequent mood swings. But, Gai had warned him that there was a dark side to womanhood. And the knowledge that it would only get WORSE made him shudder.

"Hey, Lee?" said Tenten suddenly.

He stiffened. There was something in her tone of voice that he found... unsettling. As if she were steeling herself to make a confession.

Likely something he wouldn't want to hear.

"Yeah?" he asked warily.

"Sorry for the bitchiness. Still so early in the morning, you know?" She paused and began fidgeting uncomfortably. "Um, there's something I need to... ask you."

"...Yes?" Lee prompted, fearing the worst.

She stared at her sandals.

"...Tenten?"

"Do you...? Do you...?" But, she trailed off and tuned a little pink.

"You okay?" he asked, pressing a bandaged palm to her forehead--and causing it to redden further.

She sighed. "...Do you... have any water?"

Lee blinked. "...What?"

"Yeah," she said sheepishly. "I've been out here for hours, and... yeah..."

His demeanor changed immediately.

"Never fear, Tenten!" he declared. "For I, the beautiful Green Beast of Konoha, will always assist a teammate in distress!" And, with a flamboyant pose, he handed her his water bottle--before subjecting her to a very stern lecture on the dangers of dehydration.

"...It's led to more than a few training-related emergencies," he told her. "And, contrary to popular belief, dehydration is nearly as common in the winter as it is in the summer!"

"Oh?" said Tenten, without a hint of interest.

"Yes, because dehydration has more to do with humidity than temperature. And the rate of fluid loss obviously increases with sustained activity," he added. "Which can lead to problems when fluids aren't replaced. Drinking too much water, however, can throw off your electrolyte balance! So, during intense training, electrolyte-enhanced vitamin water is best."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "And who told you that, Lee?" Though she already knew the answer.

"Sakura-san," he said blissfully, his face shining like a beacon of sunlight. "At my last checkup, she told me to take more precautions during training."

"Well, that's good," she said. 'Since you ignored me when I said the same thing.'

Lee looked at her. "Did you say something, Tenten?"

"No," she muttered, handing him his water bottle. "Thanks for the electrolyte-infused vitamin water."

He gave her a thumbs up, apparently missing the sarcasm.

"Anytime!"

'So damn cheery,' she thought miserably. 'But, what makes him different from everyone else. And what are we, anyway? Just identical balls of hormones and electrically-charged particles?'

'Well, that can't be true,' Tenten decided, 'if some hormones are gender specific.'

And she knew enough basic chemistry to understand the process of dissociation. That electrolytes were nothing but free-floating ions in the body. And that some compounds readily ionized in a solution, while others didn't. Tenten had always thought of her team as such a compound: one that wouldn't 'dissociate' under any circumstances.

Nowadays, however, she wasn't so sure.

How could ions "know" immediately which other ions to bond with--while people went from one person to the next... and STILL got it wrong?

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A/N: Heh... Sorry for the delays in, well, everything. (sweatdrops). School keeps me busy. So yeah. I'll probably only be able to update every few weeks or so. On another note, someone requested a beach thingy for one of these. And I thought: "Hey, that's not a bad idea." So, if you have an idea, I'm certainly open to requests. Just PM me or whatever. You might not see your request for a while, because a lot of these are already planned out (and it's hard to get into beach-mode when my car is completely iced over!). But, yeah... I guess I can pretend that it's 85 degrees out. ;-)

-Andrea