A/N: Guys! You're starting to see this as a serious work. It's not. I know the Doctor doesn't drink, but you're starting to point that out. THIS IS NOT SERIOUS! I'm just having fun. Yes. This is my definition of fun.

And BTW, I'm a fourteen-year-old girl who has never actual been pregnant, so most of this is collected from those lovely sex education classes and the glorious thing that is TV, so it's not gonna be accurate. Plus I'm over exaggerating it all anyway.

Chapter 25 – Annihilate The Labour Government!

"Howard, look after Rose, I'll go get Jackie," the Doctor said, before bolting out the door at a speed not even he was aware he could achieve, leaving a shaking Rose and alarmed Howard behind him.

"JACKIE!" he bellowed down the corridor as he ran as best he could, the dull pain coming back through his head to signal a contraction. "MICKEY!"

"Doctor?" shouted a voice from down the corridor. The Doctor skidded to a halt in the open library doorway, well aware he must have looked absolutely terrified. Jackie was sitting on the floor, looking over a few books.

"It's Rose," the Doctor gasped for air, and not because he was out of breath from the running. "She's going into labour!"

"Ah, don't worry, they'll never get in." Jackie smiled, and then the actual meaning of the sentence hit her in the face like a gale force wind. "Oh blimey!"

"You've gotta helped her Jackie, you've gotta help her…" The Doctor was visibly trembling from fear. If Rose died it would all be his fault…

"Don't worry," Jackie said as she sprang up from the floor to her feet, bolting past the Doctor and out into the corridor. The Doctor followed on into the Infirmary shaking like crazy, where he could see Mickey standing over Rose holding her hand as comfort. For once the Doctor was glad he was still here.

Jackie ran over to Rose, checking her over as the Doctor stood in the doorway, his head held in his hands.

"It's okay, it's only just startin'," Jackie said to the crowd as the Doctor lifted his head and jogged over to Rose.

"Rose, are you feeling any other pains?"

"Oh my god, it's hurting so much…" she blurted out suddenly, now looking nothing short of petrified as the Doctor quickly grabbed her arm and held onto it tightly.

"Can you walk?"

"ARRRGGGHHH!"

"A no, then…" The Doctor fought the pain as he slid his weakened arms underneath her to lift her up as she screamed in agony. His injuries cried in protest but he ignored them, only intent on saving Rose. This was definitely going on the list. The 'List Of Things That Made Him Scared Stiff'. And that list wasn't exactly largely populated.

One wrong move and Rose would die. The Doctor would never forgive himself if she died.

Setting her carefully down onto the far bed with the crowd of people in tow, he leant over her, planting a small kiss on her forehead.

"Rose, don't be scared."

"I'm not scared," she said in a disoriented voice, giving him a reassuring smile. "Doctor, are you scared?"

"Terrified," he admitted, before that dull pain through his head started again, and Rose's hand tightened on the Doctors considerably to contain the pain, and then relaxing as it slowly diminished. Looking up at the worried Doctor, Rose reached up a warm hand to his face, tracing a thumb over his lip.

"It'll be a real nice birth, Doctor." She giggled, clearly unfocused. "Reeeeal nice."

He nodded at her, trying to look like he was sure of her words. Although he was running through every single thing that could go wrong right now, he'd never show it.

"My poor Doctor…" She smiled, taking hold of the t-shirt he was now wearing and pulling him a little closer towards her, so her face was only inches from his. "You're all dirty."

The Doctor ran a hand over his unshaven face, before giving a shrug. "When I can leave you alone for more than five minutes I'll have a shave."

"We need to build a Nursery…" Rose suddenly said, letting go of the Doctor's shirt and moving to get off of the bed. "Oh my God, we've got so much to do Doctor! We haven't even got a cot or clothes or toys or…"

"Rose!" the Doctor yelled suddenly, interrupting her hormonally induced worry rant and pushing her gently back down onto the Infirmary bed. "We'll sort everything out later, now we've gotta concentrate on you actually giving birth."

"Oh Doctor!" Rose gripped his hand tighter. "What if I'm a terrible mother? What if they hate me?" Rose's eye suddenly widened as she reasoned it out in her mind. "Oh my God, they're going to hate me and runaway and…"

"Rose," the Doctor interrupted her again, climbing onto the bed beside her and holding her in his arms. "You're going to be a brilliant mother."

"You think so?" she asked in a small voice, trying to huddle into the Doctor a little more.

"I know so." He gave her a loving kiss on the forehead. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here with you but I am now, so listen hard. You're going to give birth to these twins smoothly, we'll go shopping and get absolutely everything we can with the money we've got…"

"We're rich," Rose blurted out suddenly. "We've got fifteen grand."

He stared at her in mild confusion. "…What?"

"Y'know that girl you saved Doctor?" Jackie said eagerly, grinning like a maniac. "'Er dad's a millionaire and 'e gave you money for savin' 'er!"

There was a brief pause whilst the Doctor took this information in, and then instantly began to shake his head rapidly.

"We've gotta give it back."

"Doctor, if you even dare to think of doing somethin' like that, I swear I'll castrate you with a pair of eyebrow tweezers!"

The Doctor, Mickey and Howard all suddenly felt very vulnerable.

"Try regrowin' that through your residual bloody cellular energy!" she finished off, folding her arms in defiance. The Doctor whimpered, moving a little closer to Rose whilst Mickey and Howard discreetly lowered their hands down their fronts. Rose smiled, hugging the Doctor's head to her chest.

"Yes…" he was saying. "Fifteen grand will do."

The Doctor had been visibly very drowsy ever since he'd woke up, so the fact he fell asleep whilst Rose was in labour came as nothing of a surprise to anyone – although perhaps a little worrying. Mickey and Jackie had moved him from Rose's bed to the bed across the room, so he could sleep without a woman screaming whilst giving birth next to him.

But, it was still a surprise he hadn't woken up anyway from all the noise.

"That bastard!" Rose was screaming hysterically, hormones on the warpath. "I'll smash his frickin' head in when I see him again! Sleeping at a bloody time like this!"

"Darlin', the Doctor's very ill right now, he needs to sleep," said Jackie, reasoning it out with her daughter the best she could without getting her own head bitten off in the process.

"Yeah but the git just had to decide to have a nap right when I'm in labour!!! He could've left it till after couldn't he? But NO! He decides he wants one NOW! Go wake him up! I don't care what he says, he deserves it for havin' a snooze!!!"

"But Rose…" Mickey tried to talk with her. "He's really ill…"

"GO AND WAKE HIM UP!" she screamed whilst an extra painful contraction hit her. Jackie and Mickey immediately fled to the Doctor's sleeping form from pure fear, Jackie giving him a firm shake.

"Doctor?" Jackie asked, and he groaned, turning over slightly. "Wake up sweetie."

"WAKE UP YOU LAZY BASTARD!!!" Rose put in from across the room, holding her womb in agony.

"Yeah, what she said." Mickey shook him too. He opened his eyes and looked up at them both, wincing and holding his ribs as he rolled off of his arm.

"Rose is askin' for ya," Jackie said softly, though she couldn't help thinking that maybe it should have been 'yellin' for ya' instead.

"I fell asleep!" he gasped, sitting up as best he could without putting himself in too much distress.

"YOU AND YOUR BLOODY RUBBER DUCK GETTIN' ME PREGNANT!" Rose screamed from across the room, and he could tell from where he lay that she was in quite a lot of pain. Then again, the Eskimos on Antarctica could probably tell she was in quite a lot of pain from how much she was shrieking.

"I'm coming, I'm coming…" he said feebly, using Jackie to haul himself up and onto his feet, before staggering over to Rose. She instantly clamped his hand in vice like grip, crushing his ligaments.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE GIMME AN EPIDURAL!!!" Rose screamed, tightening her grip even more. The Doctor couldn't feel his hand as it suddenly went numb from the pain, for which he was extremely glad of, since it was the hand of the arm that was still trying to recover from a break.

"Err…you can't have an epidural Rose…" the Doctor explained, slightly reluctantly. "It might kill the babies…it's a form of painkiller…"

"Damn you! Damn you and your bloody allergies! Of all the things in the bloody world you have to be bloody allergic to bloody aspirin! Why not peanuts, ay? WHY NOT PEANUTS?! I CAN'T KILL PAIN WITH PEANUTS!!!"

"I'm sorry Rose…" the Doctor started, truly completely clueless as to why he was getting blamed for everything.

"AARRRGGHH!!!" she howled, and the Doctor tried to block out the cracking sounds from his hand where Rose was gripping so tightly.

"Rose darlin', I think you'd better let go of the Doctor's hand now…" Jackie tried to save him, but to no avail.

"GET THESE DAMNED THINGS OUTTA ME!" she screamed, looking straight at the Doctor. He instantly blushed a nice shade of pink.

"I'm not sure if this is the time to tell you Rose," he started slowly and uneasily. "But I can't actually deliver a baby…"

He winced as he saw her expression, hearing Mickey click the door shut behind him on his way out before Rose blew up.

"YOU CALL YOURSELF A DOCTOR AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DELIVER A GODDAMN BABY!?" she hollered deafeningly, trying to take in deep breaths to control the pain.

"Rose! Sweetheart! I can deliver the babies!" Jackie input quickly before the Doctor got hit. "I read up in the library, it's okay!"

The Doctor started breathing again as Jackie stepped forward, taking hold of Rose and the Doctor's joined hands.

"First thing you gotta do is calm down, Rose." Jackie started rubbing her hand over Rose's, obviously trying to ease it off the Doctor's. "Breathe in. Listen to me Rose; breathe, in." Rose did so, whilst Jackie continued to massage Rose's hand to coax it out of it's deathly grip. "Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out."

The Doctor saw more than felt Rose's hand slip off his own, releasing it from it's crush. He quickly cradled it in his other arm, feeling slightly sick at the sight of it's purple complexion. Backing away ever so slightly, he took a side glance at Jackie, mouthing two words at her.

Thank you.

She nodded with a slight smile, before turning back to Rose, who managed to calm down extremely well, breathing periodically as her mother had told her to.

"Okay, they're comin' Rose. Get ready to push," Jackie said, picking up a few towels as she sped back around to the foot of the Infirmary bed.

"Doctor…" Rose whispered quietly. "Don't leave me."

"I won't Rose. Not this time. I promise."

A/N: Chapter 26 – Multiple Choice Questions

I can't give a preview, because I've gotta issue a warning top of next chapter. Not for the faint hearted. Nothing graphic about the birth, promise. I don't write like that.