Guys I know this is a super touchy subject, both politically and emotionally. So I tried to do it the best I could. Read it with warning and if you're going to criticize it please don't attack it :-0
(Also… I'm still not quite sure if Addison had an abortion or if she had a miscarriage. To tell you the truth, (despite this story) I really hope she had a miscarriage (that sounds awful, excuse that), although that's not what the dialogue sounds like)
Most people knew her as Dr. Addison Shepherd, foremost neonatal surgeon in the country. The title alone gave her all the respect she needed and more. Not that she minded. Funny, how the title could transform her into a totally different person. She wasn't using it here, she was just Addison, a woman who had made a mistake.
The waiting room's whitewashed walls seemed to glow. She could hardly look at them, so she stared at the ground instead. She watched the rug until the red and blue dots seemed to mesh together and make purple. She felt nauseous.
She heard her name being called. It sounded raw on the tongue of the nurse in front of her. She wondered if anyone here knew who she was. She hoped they didn't. "Addison Montgomery?" The nurse asked a little louder.
She felt herself get up. She was really going through with this. Oh god, she was going to go through with this. The nurse greeted her seriously and led her into another white room. She tried to tell herself that she was used to it. She had performed this exact procedure numerous times. The only difference was now she would be the patient. No problem.
She quickly changed into a hospital gown, the material resting awkwardly on her shivering skin. She lay on the table. Put her legs in the stirrups. Tried not to think about the reason she was here.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she let her world fall into blackness. She didn't want a baby with Mark. She wasn't ready. She was still with Derek. Without opening her eyes, she felt around for her wedding ring. She fingered the smooth gold band. Not once had she taken it off.
She heard the rumbling of the machine. The science of it all flew from her brain. Fear and panic took over her body. Be numb. Numb.
Her eyes were still clamped shut. She fought against all her natural instincts. She didn't scream. She lay still. Mark was an asshole. A complete and total asshole. He told her he loved her and cheated on her. And she slept with him again despite this information. She convinced herself he really did love her. Just like with Derek. Of course. History often repeated itself.
No baby deserved to live this awful life. But no baby deserved to die either. She took a breath as the rumbling got louder and louder. The doctor's voice told her to relax. She was sobbing, her breathing quiet and uneven.
When she felt it all she could think were the words I'm so sorry over and over. The pain was evident. Both emotionally and physically.
To Be Continued…